The Lioness and the Wolf
by FenZev
Summary: Hawke and Fenris travel to Tevinter in search of Danarius, but instead they find another lyrium branded slave. In time they will discover she is much more than Danarius' latest pet. Can her and Fenris find peace with their past? And who is really responsible for the troubles in Kirkwall? A very alternate DA2 Act 3. F!Hawke/Fenris/OC/Anders. Origin/Awakening/Legacy cameos. Complete.
1. Discovery in Minrathous

"I don't understand how you wear these clothes that are so….restricting," Isabela complained as she walked behind Hawke. The sultry pirate was fitted in a dress that not only covered her cleavage but her legs, and it was driving her to the brink of madness.

"I don't always wear them Isabela," Hawke stated as she moved through the crowd. "But you wanted to come so you have to look the part."

"Ugh," Isabela said fidgeting with the top of her blue and gold dress. "I can't wait to get out of here and tear my clothes off."

Hawke couldn't help but notice some reactions from the crowd they moved through. "Perhaps you could keep your voice down when speaking of undressing? We're supposed to be blending in, remember?"

Isabela didn't say another word as they headed towards the center market of Minrathous. The wealthier population would be here in the square, visiting all the merchant stalls and taking in the street entertainment. Back alleys consisted of refugees from wars with the Qunari in Seheron, and the large tower in the distance reminds them the mages are in charge in this city.

Hawke and Isabela had visited the city three days now in search of word on Danarius. Years of waiting for his return to Kirkwall grew on Fenris' nerves, so the decision was made to see what exactly his former master had been up to. Aveline joined them in their travels, working her way into the city guard for any information she could gather there. Fenris remained back at Alfora's house, a friend of Isabela that lived outside the city. It would be impossible for him to come along given his history of Danarius parading him around the city.

Inquiring about the magisters of the city seemed an impossible task. No one speaks of them in polite company, or behind closed doors. Townsfolk believe they can hear you and tend to run if you ask questions. Fenris advised them to mingle in the market, and no doubt they would hear something. Magisters always had something going on, and when they wanted an audience, the market was the first place they'd send their slaves to announce an event.

So Hawke and Isabela wandered, visiting merchants with overpriced garments, oils, fruits, and art. They spent little money on some gifts for friends back home while trying to blend in with the crowd. Boredom was settling in fast for Isabela however, who was not used to sitting around idle when there was a task at hand. "Are we just supposed to wait for some sign or something? Really Hawke this is growing tiresome by the minute."

Hawke sighed, starting to agree with Isabela. Her feet hurt from shoes that weren't her normal boots, and she missed the heaviness of leather on her body. She felt vulnerable here, as if someone would know who her lover was just by looking at her, and any second she would be taken away.

"Perhaps you're right," Hawke gave in. "We should try to find Aveline and see if she has any news that will help us."

As they were about to leave the market, a small elven boy came running up to them. "You can't leave before the show," he exclaimed nervously and handed them a piece of paper. "Come to the stadium and watch the wonder!"

He headed off to others in the crowd, handing out papers to those that looked more distinguished than others. Hawke shrugged at Isabela and read the announcement: Tournament of Skills to the Death! Bring Your Purses And Bet On The Winners! All proceeds go to the Children of the Circle of Magi. Sponsored by Magister Danarius.

Hawke handed the piece of paper to Isabela. "I guess it did just fall into our laps," she said as Isabela read over the piece of paper.

"Is this a joke? He's going to let people kill each other for money and claim it's for the children?"

"Shhh," Hawke said making sure no one heard her. "Inside voices for nasty comments, remember? We're in his town now."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

They followed the crowd to the stadium and found seats near the doors for a quick escape if necessary. Hundreds of people were piling into the small venue as Hawke scouted the crowds for any sign of danger. Isabela poked her in the rib and looked over her shoulder at a small box separated from the crowds. A tall man with gray hair and a bushy beard entered the box with two women on each arm. They both concluded that was Danarius based on descriptions Fenris had provided them. The women seemed to be fighting for his attention, each one whispering into his ear as he smiled, eyes glued to the pit below them waiting for the fights to begin.

"I'll be right back," Isabela said as she sprung from her seat and took off without giving Hawke a chance to stop her. Hawke cursed at her silently as the first fight began: two warriors sparring to the death. They started off promising, seemed an equal match, steel meeting steel as they went at each other. Neither one had landed a single blow, each skilled in defense as well as offense. It seemed the crowd was already getting restless that there was no blood shed, and they screamed loudly for bloodshed. Hawke looked around at the insanity of the situation, shaking her head that these people could be so savage.

When the crowd suddenly got so silent she could hear her own breath, Hawke followed their eyes to the box where Danarius stood. He smiled and lifted his arms, the crowd waiting in anticipation. Without warning magic shot through the air, two bolts of fire hitting each fighter in the pit. They both hit the ground from the power of the spell, and the crowd cheered.

Hawke could not believe her eyes, this man using magic in a crowd such as this just to get a rise out of these people! The fighters stumbled to make their way back on their feet and continued fighting. Apparently they knew the rules that Hawke was only learning - if you don't shed some blood, the sponsor will do it for you. Now they fought as their lives depended on it, fatigue and pain overwhelming them as they became sloppy. Finally the larger of the two got a clean shot to the mans side and sliced into him. Blood fell onto the pit floor and the crowd went wild.

Hawke held on to the rail in front of her for support, sickened by what she had just witnessed. But it wasn't over, as guards came and took the deceased fighter and the wounded fighter out of the pit, and two more entered, this time rogues. Hawke closed her eyes as she listened to the sound of daggers tear through flesh, wondering where Isabela was and how long she'd have to watch this gross display.

Isabela returned a few minutes later, and Hawke held back from punching her for leaving her alone. But the seriousness on Isabela's face soon erased any plans Hawke had for violence. "What is it," Hawke asked her friend.

"You should come with me," she said taking Hawke's hand and leading her out of the stands. The crowd was busy screaming at the death of another poor soul, and Hawke cringed at the thought of these people losing their lives for sport. Isabela led Hawke through some tunnel that appeared to be under the box Danarius was seated in. "Don't be mad," Isabela warned as she led Hawke into a small room.

Hawke braced herself for whatever trouble Isabela got herself into as she walked into the room. It was no larger than any closet back in her home in Kirkwall, and seated on the floor against the wall was a woman.

Hawke stared at her in disbelief. Her arms were bound behind her and she was naked. Her mouth was covered with blue and gold cloth, and it took a moment for Hawke to realize it was a part of Isabela's dress. "You did this to her?"

"Shh," Isabela said pointing towards the ceiling. "I did it to keep her quiet. We're getting her out of here."

The woman looked up at them with terror in her eyes. Hawke didn't know how to comfort her, what to say to her, as the shock of what she was hadn't quite settled into Hawke's brain yet.

She was Danarius' new pet. She had markings that matched Fenris', only they were red instead of blue. Her long hair wasn't white as his was though, it was blacker than anything Hawke had ever seen. Hawke moved closer towards her as she tried to disappear into the corner she was in. "We're not here to hurt you," Hawke tried to sooth her as the panic was still in her eyes. Hawke studied the markings that she could see on the naked woman's skin. They were blistered and raised, and Hawke gasped at the realization. "They're new," she said out loud to herself. "Isabela, how are we going to do this?"

"Easy," Isabela said grabbing a blanket that she had already found. "We cover her up and run while the crowds busy upstairs."

Hawke studied the frightened woman trying to find a spot on her she could touch to help her up without hurting her. "Can you run," she asked the slave.

The woman said nothing, only looked between the two women in fear.

"We don't have time Hawke," Isabela said grabbing the woman by the arm and forcing her to her feet. She put the blanket over her shoulders as the woman's cries were muffled by the cloth in her mouth. "I'm sorry, but we have to do it. Let's go."

Hawke didn't have a chance to think, Isabela was taking matters into her own hands so quickly that Hawke found herself reacting without thought. They escorted the woman out of the tunnels and through the market that was thankfully quiet because of the tournament. They moved as fast as they could through shadows, all the while the naked woman was close to hysterics.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

They made it back to Alfora's house within an hour, and they settled against a tree outside to catch their breath before going inside. The slave remained quiet now, shivering from the cold and possibly a fever Hawke thought. Isabela went inside to get Fenris as Hawke remained with her and untied her. She didn't try to run, instead she continued to sit on the ground staring at the fallen leaves. When Isabela returned with Fenris he took one look at the slave and his eyes narrowed at Hawke. "Hawke," he said in a low voice of disbelief and anger. "What have you done?"


	2. A Slave's New Master

Fenris glared at the women before him waiting for an explanation. Hawke shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, afraid to say anything as she noticed the angry posture Fenris displayed. Isabela walked out of the house behind him and explained to Fenris, "she had nothing to do with this. It was my idea."

"A very stupid idea," he spat at her as he approached the slave. "Get up," he said to her sternly, not adjusting his posture or demeanor.

She did as she was told and followed Fenris into the house. Isabela and Hawke trailed behind slowly, suddenly feeling very uneasy around their friend. Alfora was in the kitchen stirring some kind of stew when she gasped at the slave following Fenris. She looked to Isabela for some explanation, but Isabela simply shrugged, afraid to say anything.

Fenris led the slave into the bedroom Hawke and he were sharing, and ordered her to sit in a chair in the corner. He carefully lifted the blanket off the naked woman as she winced in pain. He muttered several curses under his breath as he tossed the blanket to the floor and looked at the wounds on the womans back. The lines of red lyrium trailed from the base of her neck down her spine and branched out to the sides much like his own, although the patterns were not the same. If dressed properly, no one would notice she was marked, as her neck, chin, hands, and feet were untouched. Most of the skin around the markings had blistered recently, and the blanket that was carelessly thrown over her by Isabela irritated her skin. Fenris could see a history of abuse on her body, bruises and lash marks that hadn't quite yet healed, as well as those that had already scarred her back. He shuddered at the memory it brought up.

"What is your name slave," he asked harshly.

She looked up at him for the first time, and for a second realization showed in her eyes as she saw the markings on his chin and neck. "Arielle," she responded in a whisper, still shivering from cold and fever.

Fenris shook his head at her response. "Wait here," he ordered her, as she put her head back down and folded her hands on her knees.

Fenris closed the door behind him and addressed the wide eyed glares from the main room. "Danarius and his names. 'Arielle' means lion. It seems he's replaced his wolf."

Isabela rolled her eyes and then scolded Fenris. "You can't just leave her in there naked."

"Do you have any idea the pain you have caused this woman," Fenris said angrily. "You might as well have cut her open yourself." He grabbed one of his bags and dumped its contents on the floor, then pushed it into Isabela's chest. "There's a plant in the woods, each leaf has red dots on it. Gather as many as you can and pull it from the root."

Isabela looked at Hawke for some help, but Hawke gave her a clear expression that she was not going to defend her friend right now. Isabela sighed. "Fine," she said, and motioned for Alfora to come with her. The two women set off into the woods, leaving Hawke with a very upset Fenris.

Hawke didn't move from where she was standing as Fenris began to pace the room. She wasn't sure what to say, or if she should say anything, as it was clear he was not happy with her or their new guest being there. She tried to break the tension. "At least we know what to call her. She hadn't said a word to us."

"That's because you treat her as if she'll break. She's a slave Hawke, she only knows orders and commands." He continued to pace trying to figure out what he was going to do.

"Her markings," Hawke tested softly. "They are new aren't they."

Fenris stopped pacing and caught her concerned eyes. His posture softened as he replied. "Yes. Perhaps a few weeks old, maybe a month." He sat on one of the chairs in the main room and Hawke did the same sitting across from him as he continued. "It takes longer to heal than any normal wound. You may think I'm cruel for leaving her naked, but that is the most comfortable she can be without pain."

"She's lucky to have someone that understands then," Hawke said gently.

"Bah," he exclaimed standing up again, clearly upset. "She is doomed. We all are. You don't think he'll come looking for her?" Hawke stood up and went to him, placing a hand on his shoulder for comfort. But he pulled away from her. "Her being here puts us all in danger."

Hawke sighed. "It's not like we can put her back where we found her Fenris."

He remained silent, knowing her words were true but still fearing the worst. They weren't home in Kirkwall surrounded by their friends and allies. They were in _his_ territory, and getting out would be difficult. "If we do not leave soon, he will find us. And she will run to him given the chance." Fenris turned to look at Hawke, concern and fear in his eyes. "I do not wish you any harm."

"I know Fenris," she said softening her tone. "But knowing what you've gone through, I can not allow another to the same fate."

He nodded, bringing a hand to her face. She melted into his touch, thankful for whatever forgiveness he was giving her. He stood there for a brief moment and then pulled away. "I shall despise myself for doing so, but the only way to keep her from running is for her to believe I am her master now."

Hawke recalled the anger in his voice when Orana, a slave of Hadriana, asked if he was her master. "Can't one of us do that instead? I know you hate it..."

"No," he said adamantly. "She will not accept a woman as a master, not one she isn't familiar with. She's already taken to my command; I need to continue it until we get to Kirkwall."

Hawke nodded and remained silent, wondering how she got into this mess in the first place.

To answer her own question, Isabela returned with Alfora. She threw the bag on the table, full of the plant Fenris had requested. "Here's all of it that we found near the house. If you need more we'll have to head further into the woods."

Fenris surveyed what they had retrieved. He pulled the plants out of the bag and began opening the long stems the leaves were attached to. "Each one of these plants holds a liquid that can be used to ease her pain. Help me to open them."

They spent the next few minutes tearing into every plant that was brought back and pouring the liquid into a bowl. It was clear they would need more, as there was little to each stem that was opened. When they finished, they had what he felt was enough to get her through the night comfortably. "We will need more before we leave, but this will do for tonight. Thank you."

As he walked towards the bedroom door where Arielle was, Isabela spoke up. "Wait, _you're_ going to put it on her?"

He turned to glare at her, still fully aware it was her fault Arielle was here. "Yes."

Isabela looked at Hawke and then back to Fenris. "Shouldn't one of us do it? She's _naked_ Fenris."

Fenris hadn't even realized earlier when he was looking at her markings. All he saw was his own pain, and not the embarrassment she may have been feeling. "Perhaps you're right," he admitted and handed the bowl to Hawke. He opened the door and Arielle immediately sat up from her slouching position when he entered. She made no acknowledgement that Hawke was even in the room, only keeping her eyes on Fenris. "You will allow this woman to tend to your wounds," Fenris said harshly and Arielle nodded without saying a word. "Be gentle Hawke," he whispered to her as he left the two women alone.


	3. Test of Will

Aveline entered the home a few minutes later and quickly scanned the room. "Good, you aren't in the city," she said to Isabela who was sitting at the counter in the kitchen. "Is Hawke here as well?"

"Yup, in the bedroom," Isabela said looking at Fenris, wondering who was going to fill Aveline in on the latest situation they were in.

"I think we're done going to the city for now," Aveline said removing her cloak and placing it on a hook by the door. "The guards are swarming the city looking for someone, and I didn't stick around long enough to find out who."

Fenris let out an audible growl as he glared at Isabela who turned away from him. Aveline noticed the tension immediately, and addressed Isabela. "What mess have you gotten us in this time?"

"Me?" Isabela looked hurt. "Why do you assume it's me that's done anything?"

Aveline put her hands on her hips and moved closer to the woman. "I'll always suspect you when there's obvious trouble."

"Keep your voices down," Fenris warned as the woman were going back and fourth. "This is your story to tell Isabela," he said to her roughly, still glaring.

Aveline looked at the pirate and waited. "Well? Out with it."

Isabela sighed. "I may have…possibly…kidnapped one of Danarius' slaves."

"You _what_?" Aveline exclaimed, her cheeks almost matching her red hair in anger. "How could you be so stupid?"

"Alright," Isabela said standing up to the guard. "You just got here and you're already attacking me without knowing the facts. Calm down big girl, I did a _good _thing here, although none of you will ever admit it."

Aveline turned her head to Fenris. "How much trouble are we in, really?"

Fenris sat back in the chair and took a long sip of the wine he had begun drinking. "We're dead," he said shrugging, drinking some more.

Isabela narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh don't be so dramatic. I took one slave. We can head to Kirkwall in the morning and no one will know we were even here."

"You assume she can even travel in her condition, or that Danarius doesn't have some way to track her," Fenris said angered again.

"Wait," Aveline interrupted the two bickering. "Where is she?"

Fenris nodded towards the bedroom. "With Hawke. Leave them for now; it's complicated."

"This isn't just some slave is it," Aveline asked after witnessing Fenris' anger. Isabela walked towards the bedroom door and leaned against it, listening to make sure things were going smoothly inside. Aveline looked to Fenris when Isabela didn't answer her. "Fenris?"

He drank some more. "No," he said flatly. "She's marked."

"Maker Isabela," Aveline said shaking her head. "Did you learn nothing after what happened with the Qunari? You can't just take things from important people without consequences!"

Isabela shot a look at Fenris. "And you would've left her had you found her instead?"

Fenris remained silent, sipping his wine.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke felt a bit uneasy being in the room alone with Arielle. She was unfamiliar with how one should go about handling someone who appeared to be so broken. By the time she had met Fenris, he was a strong and capable warrior with little sign of what he had endured as a slave. It was only after they'd slept together that Hawke saw a brief flash of his tortured life, but it was a piece of him he kept buried deep.

Arielle was fragile. Delicate. Hawke feared one wrong move would shatter her. There was no life in her eyes, no light, only occasional fear and confusion. She didn't seem sad or upset, which Hawke thought odd. But she reasoned with herself that she wouldn't understand what this woman was going through, what she _had_ gone through, or how she was even able to sit here now alive.

Hawke shook her head to get past her own thoughts and knelt down next to Arielle. She put the bowl on the table next to her and spoke to the woman. "Fenris says this will help ease the pain," Hawke explained as she rolled up the sleeve of her dress. "Let me know if I hurt you, alright?"

Arielle remained silent, staring at the wall in front of her.

Hawke began applying the substance on Arielle's back, systematically going from right to left making sure she covered every mark, bruise, and blister. If Arielle was in any pain she didn't show it, sitting up straight and obediently. Hawke fought back the tears and ignored the lump in her throat as she counted the lines on the woman's back. Seventeen lashes, fourteen different lines of red lyrium in random patterns, and five noticeable burns. Beneath that lay at least twenty scars in various sizes. Hawke couldn't even fathom enduring that much torture and being able to survive. She wondered if Arielle too had lost her memory, or if she remembered every detail of pain inflicted upon her.

Hawke tried to stay focused as she finished Arielle's back and took a moment to decide what to do next. It was already clear to her that she wouldn't have enough for all of her wounds, so she decided to do the arms next which would finish her supply. "May I have your hand," Hawke asked her, and Arielle complied by unfolding her hands and holding her hand out to Hawke. Hawke took her hand and held it in front of her so her arm was straight, and began applying the liquid to Arielle's wrists. They were covered in what appeared to be rope burns, most likely from being tied up, and Hawke inwardly cursed Isabela for putting her through more pain. She followed the trail of red lyrium on top and beneath the arm, and then moved to do the same with her other arm.

When she was finished, Hawke stood up and retreated to the bed, facing Arielle. "That's all I have for now. We'll get some more and take care of your front and legs in a few, alright?"

Arielle's eyes moved from the spot on the wall to Hawke, and Hawke couldn't help but feel a cold shiver run down her spine as the woman looked at her. It was almost as if a corpse was staring at her, animated by some evil force within. For a moment, Hawke felt fear wash over her, and she was suddenly terrified to be alone with the slave.

But as quickly as the fear came it was gone, and Arielle spoke to her. "Thank you," she whispered, and where Hawke thought she saw evil a second before, now she only saw anguish and despair. Arielle held her gaze for a moment, and then put her head back down as it had been when Hawke came in.

Hawke took the empty bowl and left the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She walked through the living room; ignored her friends and didn't say a word. She placed the bowl on the counter and then walked out the front door for some air. She took one deep breath in, and then dropped to her knees to vomit.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Hawke, are you alright?" Aveline asked as she knelt down beside her friend, placing a hand on her back. Hawke nodded and then placed a hand on the tree in front of her trying to stabilize herself. But a few seconds later more contents of her stomach met the ground.

Aveline left her for a moment and returned to the house to get her some water. She returned to her friend and handed her the glass, which Hawke consumed and then thanked her. "Bet you didn't see that coming did you," Hawke joked as Aveline handed her a cloth to wipe her mouth.

"You are human Hawke," Aveline pointed out as she helped Hawke to her feet. "Is it that bad?"

Hawke nodded, swallowing some more water and trying to settle down her stomach. "It's her, it's him, it's overwhelming," she said as she looked at Aveline. "I take it they filled you in?"

Aveline sighed. "Somewhat. But no one is filling me in on how they plan to get us out of here. The city is on high alert Hawke; they know she's missing and are searching for her. To be honest I don't think we should stay the night."

Hawke shook her head. "There's no way we can move her tonight. Or us. None of us have slept or are even prepared to leave. We need to gather more plants for her wounds and figure out the best way to leave without being caught…"

"Slow down Hawke," Aveline warned as her friend was about to work herself into a panic. "At the very least we should try to head south a little, get a head start before they start branching out of the city and into the villages around it."

"You haven't seen her Aveline, it's….it's too much," Hawke said on the verge of breaking down.

"Hawke, we're still her best option," Aveline said. "Let's get inside and work out a plan."

Hawke tried to compose herself as she followed Aveline back into the house. Fenris looked at her with concern. "Are you alright?"

Hawke nodded, trying to push her emotions down for now so they could figure out what to do. "Where's Alfora?"

"She went to gather more plants," Isabela said as she began collecting some random items of hers from around her friends house. "Are we hitting the road? That is the plan, right?"

Hawke looked to Fenris. "Any ideas?"

"We should leave," he said standing up. "The sooner the better."

"I don't think Arielle can do it Fenris," Hawke said softly not wanting the slave to overhear her.

"She will not be given a choice," Fenris said coldly, falling back into 'master' mode.

"Fenris," Aveline said his name in shock at his tone.

Hawke placed a hand on Aveline's shoulder. "It's okay Aveline. Arielle will do what he says. It's the only way to get her out of here."

Aveline looked confused but remained silent, trusting her friends that they knew what they were doing.

"We will need clothing for her," Fenris stated. "The lightest material possible. Whatever Alfora brings back we will save for our first stop and finish applying it there."

The group nodded as Isabela began going through her things trying to find something for the woman to wear. Hawke picked up her bag that was near the front door and went through it as well, finding a light long-sleeved shirt Arielle could use. Everyone was surprised when Isabela came up with pants for her, and Aveline had some sandals that she offered. Fenris grabbed his bag and went towards the bedroom so he could pack up his things. Aveline and Hawke were behind him. "Don't let it shock you Aveline," Hawke whispered before they entered.

Aveline nodded as she followed the couple into the bedroom. Hawke could feel Aveline stop breathing as she took in the site of the slave, and Hawke tried not to look at her as she gathered the remaining things that were hers in the bedroom.

"We are leaving," Fenris said sternly to Arielle, and she looked up at him. Fenris tried to remain in control as the naked woman locked eyes with him in obedience. "Can you travel?"

"Yes Master," came the instant reply, and Hawke swore she could feel Fenris cringe.

"Good. These women will help you get dressed. We leave when you're ready." Fenris gathered his things and walked out of the room, a dark expression on his face. He shut the door behind him, and tried to untangle the knot in his stomach at hearing anyone call him Master.

Isabela looked up at him as he left the bedroom and saw the internal struggle on his face. "For what it's worth," Isabela said softly, "I _am_ sorry."

Fenris was surprised at this gesture from Isabela, and took the opportunity to do the same. "I…apologize as well. Had someone been brave enough to help me when I was as she is…she is lucky it was you who found her."

Isabela smiled at the rare compliment from Fenris, and continued to help him pack up their things.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Alfora returned soon after carrying an entire bushel of the plant Fenris had requested earlier. She wrapped it up for them for easier travel, as well as some food and water for the road. Isabela thanked her friend for allowing them to stay, and apologized for putting her in danger. She simply shrugged, stating "I'm surprised it took this long for trouble to find you."

Isabela hugged her friend, concerned for what what danger she may have brought, and offered for Alfora to come with them. She declined, stating someone had to stay back and stall the guards should they have some way to track Arielle.

It took some time before the women exited the bedroom, but when they did Fenris almost fell back in shock. The vulnerable naked slave he had seen a short time ago was gone. Before him stood a beautiful woman; black hair soft and smooth around her shoulders, dressed in a red loose fitting shirt and black pants. The dirt was gone from her face, and as she looked up at him he could see her eyes were as blue as the sky. It was the first time he had really looked at her, and seen beyond his own reflections within her. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought she seemed oddly familiar.

Isabela didn't bother to hold back, complimenting Hawke and Aveline on the job they had done. Fenris regained his senses and nodded towards the women, who now looked like simple travelers instead of two fighters and a slave. "Let us move on," he stated grabbing his things and the bag Alfora had prepared for them, and the group headed out into the darkness.


	4. The Profane

_We who are forgotten, remember,_

_We clawed at rock until our fingers bled,_

_We cried out for justice, but were unheard._

_Our children wept in hunger,_

_And so we feasted upon the gods._

_Here we wait, in aeons of silence._

_We few, we profane._

_—Found scrawled on a wall in the lost Revann Thaig by explorer Faruma Helmi, 5:10 Exalted. Unknown author.*_

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The lights from the city faded the further they walked into the night. Avoiding the roads had slowed them down as they stumbled through trees and brush to avoid detection. Aveline lead the way with Fenris beside her, and Arielle remained a step behind Fenris no matter how fast or slow he went. Isabela and Hawke stayed a few paces behind them to cover their tracks and place random traps in case they were pursued.

A few hours into their walk they decided to try and rest until daylight. There would be no campfire this evening, and limited sleep for the travelers. Watch was setup in for two shifts, two people. Food was distributed before sleep, and everyone remained eerily quiet. While the four friends took turns sleeping in bedrolls, Arielle slept sitting up, legs pulled up to her chest as she rested her head on her knees. It was a sight that made Hawke a little uneasy, but she felt a little better when Fenris explained it's how he had slept too until the markings no longer hurt.

The next morning they were on the move again, planning on spending the entire day walking so they would be as far away from the city as possible and able to relax a bit. Hawke ventured up ahead this time to scout their trail as Isabela continued to cover them from behind. It was a smooth day of travels with no danger, and they were making good time to Vol Dorma, the next city they would visit to re-supply. Tonight there would be a campfire and cooking.

Isabela had taken it upon herself to begin opening the roots of the plants Alfora had gathered for them so she could finish applying the salve on Arielle. Hawke didn't object, as she was thankful someone else was willing to do it. Isabela shrugged, going on about how she'd seen plenty of breasts so what's two more, and the task was completed before dinner was ready.

Arielle remained quiet, which was unsettling for Aveline. Fenris advised her not to bother trying to talk to the slave, so Aveline didn't, but it was still strange having a traveling companion that said nothing. Often times Aveline found herself forgetting Arielle was even there, until she'd go to speak with Fenris and the dark haired woman was obediently behind him. There would be no alone time for Hawke and Fenris on this trip, Aveline thought, remembering the amount of times the couple would wander off together on the way to Minrathous.

They stopped in Vol Dorma and then again in some small town near Navarra. Hawke would run into town to get only what they needed and then leave, wasting no time as they headed south to Cumberland, and then finally east to Kirkwall.

Only on their last night of camping before reaching the city did Fenris finally relax a little, stop asking Isabela and Hawke to cover their tracks, and take a moment to really rest. He felt better knowing they were only a day away from Kirkwall, home he thought, closer to companions and familiar faces he'd grown to trust. Of course the one night Fenris chose to relax was the one night they were attacked at camp.

Four bandits came out of nowhere, thinking they were pouncing on some unexpected travelers. Fenris and Aveline were immediately on their feet, grabbing for their weapons and charging at the men. Hawke and Isabela also sprang into action, circling the bandits and coming up from behind, assisting the warriors. The bandits were not without skill, and it was a challenging fight. Back and forth they went with no end in sight, blood and sweat dripping to the ground.

One of the bandits released a vial onto the ground, and smoke distracted the group for a moment. The bandit took that time to get behind Fenris, holding a blade to his throat. "Enough!" The man yelled, eying the group. "Give us your goods or the elf dies."

Fighting stopped and Hawke and Isabela looked at each other and Aveline, trying to quickly think of a way out of this. But as Hawke opened her mouth to say something, the ground beneath her began to shake, and all of the fighters became concerned as to what was happening. They thought it was some kind of quake, until rocks began surfacing from the ground up to form creatures. These rock beings immediately began attacking the bandits, and Hawke began looking around for the mage that summoned them.

There was no mage, but Hawke spotted Arielle leaning against a tree behind them. Arielle was staring at the rock creatures as if controlling them, concentrating on their movements and attacks. Hawke thought she saw a soft glow of Arielle's markings under her shirt, and the smallest hint of red in her eyes.

"Hawke!" Isabela yelled, pulling her from the fixation on Arielle and back into the fight. With the help of the new creatures the bandits were dispatched one by one, and as the final bandit fell, so did the rocks from where they came.

"What in the Makers name was that," Aveline said as she leaned down to catch her breath.

"Our new friend here," Isabela said looking at Arielle, who was now looking tired and using the support of the tree to remain standing.

"Those were Profanes," Hawke said as she looked at Fenris, who nodded in agreement. "We've battled them before, in the Deep Roads. How did you summon Profanes here," she looked to Arielle, who didn't answer.

Fenris walked towards her and ordered her to respond. "You will answer Hawke's question."

Arielle looked at Fenris and nodded, and then responded to Hawke. "They feed off red lyrium. They let me control them and I offer myself in exchange."

"Is that why you can barely stand up," Hawke asked softly. "They've fed off your markings somehow?"

Arielle nodded. "They take my energy into themselves."

It was the most she had spoken in a week, yet it gave them plenty to think about. "Thank you," Hawke said to her, and Arielle nodded. "Let's clean up this mess," she said to Aveline and Isabela. "Is anyone severely hurt? Need bandages?"

The group seemed fine, and the women began searching and moving the bodies. Fenris remained with Arielle, intrigued at what she had done for them. "Why did you help us," he asked her.

"You were in danger," she said as if it were obvious.

Fenris nodded. "Rest. We will be in Kirkwall tomorrow."

Arielle did as she was told, sitting on the ground and put her head on her knees to sleep.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris joined the women who had moved the bodies away from camp. "Isn't all this heavy lifting a mans job," Isabela complained as she finished dumping a bandit in a pile of leaves. "Aveline can take care of them."

"I heard that whore," Aveline said as she finished moving another.

"How is she," Hawke asked Fenris as he took the body from her and laid it with the rest.

"She will be fine," he responded, not really knowing what kind of toll something like summoning Profanes would have on a person.

Hawke stopped the others from returning to camp so soon, wanting to have a discussion that Arielle couldn't overhear. "I hadn't put it together until today, but the Profanes, the red lyrium, Danarius must be aware of where we were in the Deep Roads."

Aveline asked, "you think Bartrand had a hand in it?"

Hawke nodded. "I'm sure of it. Or someone he told. As far as Varric knows there were no other thaigs with red lyrium other than the one we were trapped in." She looked at Fenris with concern. "The red lyrium made Bartrand crazy. Fenris, she has it branded into her. Do you think she's in danger? Or a danger to us?"

Fenris shrugged. "I don't know. They say touching raw lyrium is lethal to anyone not a dwarf, yet I have it branded in me as well."

"And you're not crazy at all," Isabela said sarcastically.

Hawke shot her friend a nasty look but continued thinking out loud. "What about us, being near her? And what else can she do? Fenris we know nothing about her and we're bringing her into our city, near our friends. Is this really wise?"

Fenris thought about what she said, and knew her concerns were not unfounded. But they had already come all this way back home, and he wasn't about to abandon Arielle now. "She will remain with me in the mansion until we have more information. When we return, ask Varric to see what he can find out."

"Perhaps Anders should have a look at her as well," Hawke suggested, knowing the mage had some knowledge of the Deep Roads and of lyrium. Fenris growled at the mention of the 'abomination' as he called him, but said nothing since it made sense to do so. "I know you two hate each other, but Anders was able to sense the effect the red lyrium had on Bartrand. He is our best source right now."

"Fine," Fenris caved, not wanting to argue with her.

When they returned to their camp Arielle was asleep. Hawke sat next to Fenris as Isabela and Aveline began their watch. "Is it difficult for you," Hawke asked him, "to be near her?"

"Do I remember you mean," Fenris said clarifying her statement.

"Yes," she said softly, broaching a subject they spoke little about.

"As you know my first memory is of receiving these markings," he began. "When all you can recall begins with pain, it is hard to move on."

"But you did," Hawke recounted, "move on. At least from what I know of you. You have friends, are building a life here, you've managed to leave it behind."

"I've managed to not allow it to consume me," he corrected her. "Something like this you can never leave behind." Fenris turned to look at her. "And then there's you."

"Me?"

Fenris nodded. "You make each day bearable."

Hawke smiled at the rare moment of Fenris sweet talking her. And since he hated pity, she redirected hers towards Arielle. "And what does she have," Hawke wondered out loud.

"She has us," he said. "That may make all the difference."

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: *Codex entry taken from DA2 - credit to Bioware._**


	5. Primevil Lyrium

The group of five headed into the city of Kirkwall each breathing a sigh of relief. Familiar walls, familiar faces, even familiar smells were welcoming to them as they made their way to Hightown. They wanted to get Arielle safely to Fenris' mansion as quickly as possible without her being seen, and since nightfall was upon them they were successful. After Fenris opened the door and checked for potential threats that may have arrived in his absence, he brought Arielle inside and said a brief goodbye to his traveling companions.

"I will find Varric and Anders tomorrow," Hawke said after a yawn. "I think a good nights sleep will do us all some good."

Fenris nodded, and Hawke squeezed his hand as she began to leave. "Be careful tonight," she whispered as she leaned into him.

"I will," he said as he watched his friends walk in the direction of the barracks. He closed the door behind him and turned to see Arielle in the main hall, taking in her surroundings. "There is a room next to mine you can sleep in," he said to her as he removed his sword and placed it near the door. "I admit it may need some work, but we can see to it in the morning."

She nodded without a word as she followed him up the stairs. He escorted her to a small room with a dusty desk, some chests, and a bed. He lit the candles on the wall, and then hastily brushed the bed off of any dust and dirt that may remain there. "I apologize for the condition, I wasn't prepared for your arrival."

"It is more than sufficient Master," Arielle spoke quietly moving towards the bed. "Do you have need of me this evening?"

Fenris looked at her curiously, and then made the uncomfortable realization what she was referring to. "Uhm, no, that will not be necessary. Rest tonight."

Arielle nodded and bowed to him, and then began undressing, removing her shirt with him still standing there. He tried to keep up the role of "Master" by not showing his discomfort as she turned to face him, lines of red lyrium sparkling on her breasts against the candlelight.

"I will see you in the morning," he said leaving hastily, shutting the door behind him. He heard the creak of the wooden bed frame as she sat on it, knowing she wouldn't be laying down to sleep. He retreated into his own room, closed the door, and tried to remove the images of her naked body from his mind.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke, Isabela, and Aveline made their way to the barracks to see Aveline home, and to have a private moment to discuss Arielle away from Fenris. "How long is he going to pretend to be her Master," Aveline asked, uncomfortable by the entire situation.

"He said only until we returned here," Hawke explained. "He wanted to make sure she didn't try to run back to Danarius."

"She gives me the creeps Hawke, the way she looks at you, it's as if she's looking _through_ you."

Hawke agreed. "There was a moment in the bedroom, I swear I was hallucinating. She looked evil, dead, I had a flash of a rotting corpse. But it only lasted a second. I blinked and she was fine, even thanking me for helping her."

Isabela offered her opinion, "maybe it was Danarius trying to get you to give her up by making you think she was evil."

Hawke looked at her curiously, "what, like some spell that makes her appear as a demon?"

Isabela shrugged. "Who knows what those blood mages are capable of. I had no problems with her when we were alone. If you take away all the ugly scars and bruises, she's actually quite delicious."

"Isabela," Aveline scolded.

"What? Can't I appreciate the beauty of another woman?" Isabela smiled at Hawke. "Hawke here is also delicious, and her constant need to turn down my advances turns me on even more."

"I suspect a mule humping a rock would turn you on," Aveline said exasperated.

Hawke laughed at their banter as they approached the barracks. "Well, home sweet home Aveline. I imagine you have a ton of work to get back to."

"I'm afraid to go into my office," Aveline agreed. "Sleep well Hawke, I will check in on you tomorrow if I can."

"Thank you for coming with us. I know you left a lot here to do so. I appreciate it."

Aveline nodded. "What else are friends for?"

Isabela and Hawke walked to Hawke's estate next. "You can stay the night if you wish Isabela, I know Lowtown is a bit of a walk this late."

"Only if I can share your bed sweet thing," Isabela purred, flirting with Hawke as usual.

Hawke laughed. "Fenris may have something to say about that."

"I don't see him here, do you? Or you could go get him."

"Isabela," Hawke now scolded her friend. "Guest room or Lowtown for you."

Isabela yawned. "After all this I need my own bed. I can fill Varric in also, and you can get Anders in the morning and bring him to the Hanged Man."

"Sounds like a plan," Hawke said as they arrived at her estate. "Sleep well Isabela."

"Sleeping alone? That's never well," she said as she blew Hawke a kiss and made her way to Lowtown.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The next morning Hawke went to the clinic to get Anders. He always welcomed a visit from her, but when he learned her visit involved going to see Fenris, he was less than happy. "I will explain everything once we get to the Hanged Man," Hawke assured him as he followed reluctantly.

"I don't understand what you see in him Hawke," Anders said for the hundredth time since she's known him. "You almost got yourself killed fighting Hadriana, then you travel with him to face down his former master, and now there's something else that needs attending to? He takes advantage of your kindness, you know."

"No one is taking advantage of me Anders," Hawke sighed, walking faster to get this trip over with. "And so you know, this doesn't necessarily involve him. Besides, I recall helping_ you_ plenty of times, you and your fellow apostates, so if you're going to keep score, let's recount…"

"Fine," Anders cut her off. "But this better be worth my time, and for the record I am only doing it for you."

They walked into the Hanged Man a few minutes later and went up to Varrics room. Isabela was already there looking refreshed and well rested. "Varric, my favorite dwarf in all of Kirkwall."

"Yeah yeah, save the compliments," Varric smiled at his friend. "I've already told you there can be nothing between us." Hawke laughed as she sat at his table, Anders sitting besides her. "So what's all this about Hawke, Isabela wouldn't tell me anything."

Hawke looked surprised at the pirate. "Really? You kept your mouth shut this entire time?"

"To be fair, I just woke up a few minutes ago," Isabela said stretching.

Hawke took a breath and filled Varric and Anders in on what had happened in Tevinter. She went into detail about Arielle, her markings, the uneasy feeling some had around her, and the concern that being near her may effect the group. Anders did a lot of head shaking, and Varric sat back in his chair, taking it all in. When Hawke was finished explaining, and asked them for their input, both began shaking their heads.

"This can't be good Hawke," Varric stated the obvious. "We know what the red lyrium did to my brother. And she can summon beings from the Deep Roads? You're in new territory there, even for us."

Anders agreed. "When we first came into contact with the lyrium in the Deep Roads, I knew immediately it was different, and not in a good way. Do you know if she's a mage?"

Hawke looked at Isabela, who shrugged. "We have no idea. Would that make it worse?"

"Much worse," Anders added. "We've seen what Fenris can do. Add the element of something that can make you crazy and magic? She'd be unstoppable."

"Great," Isabela said slouching back in her chair. "I've rescued an unstoppable slave."

"Let's not jump to conclusions," Hawke said. "We don't know what she can do, or if _she_ even knows what she can do. From what little Fenris has told me of his past, it took him months to master his skills. Arielle is still healing from the branding, I doubt she's had much time to learn anything."

"Except summon Profanes," Varric added.

"Well, there's that," Hawke said sighing. "Will you come Anders? See if you can sense anything from her besides the lyrium? At least if we know she's a mage, we can start from there."

Anders nodded. "I will do my best, if Fenris will allow it."

"He'll allow it," Hawke assured him. "I told him yesterday I was bringing you both into this. Varric, if you can get around to going through Bartrand's papers, I want to find the connection to him and Danarius. There has to be some way Danarius knew where to find the lyrium."

"I've been meaning to sort through all that junk," Varric said. "I guess now's the time."

"Isabela, I have a special task for you," Hawke smiled.

"Oooh, I like the sound of this," the pirate listened intently. "Do tell."

"I need you to work your magic and get into the Gallows, then find a way to speak to the First Enchanter about this."

Anders spoke up. "Are you mad? You can't bring him into this!"

"I'm not bringing him into anything," Hawke explained. "Poke around and see what he knows about lyrium. Or steal some books, I don't care. He has to know something though."

Isabela nodded, "consider it done. Meet back here tonight? Aveline will want to know what we're up to."

Hawke agreed. "Sounds like a plan. Let's not bring anyone else into this for now. The less people that know about her the safer we all are."

"Be careful going over there Blondie," Varric said. "Make sure your friend stays out of the way."

Hawke blinked and turned to Anders. "Do you think that'll be a problem?"

"Who, Justice? He's not a fan of slavery, but it's never enraged him as much as the plight of mages."

Hawke didn't seem convinced, but stood up to leave anyway. "Okay then, let's do this."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris woke that day feeling better than he could ever remember. He hadn't dreamt at all, his usual nightmares left him alone, and not constantly waking in a cold sweat allowed him to wake with fantastic energy. He felt renewed, refreshed, as if he was finally able to put the past behind him and move on with his life.

He wasn't sure what to expect of this sudden change, but he wasn't about to complain to anyone about it. Instead he got dressed and prepared himself for the day ahead, rehearsing the much needed conversation between him and Arielle.

When he left the bedroom he took notice that Arielle's door was still closed. He hesitated a minute to open it, thinking she may still be naked as he left her the night before. A slight knock on the door he felt was best, and within seconds she was opening the door, dressed in the only clothes she now owned, and greeted him by bowing. "I apologize for not waking you this morning Master, I had no instruction on what to do so I stayed in my room."

Fenris sighed at his own stupidity, having forgotten she of course wouldn't leave the room until instructed. "There is no need to apologize," he told her as he motioned for her to leave the room and follow him downstairs.

She did so obediently, not making further conversation, and Fenris began to realize this may be more difficult than he had anticipated. "Arielle, please, sit," he said as he sat on the couch. She immediately went to her knees in front of him, squatting on the floor, and he shook his head at her. "No, here on the couch, with me."

Arielle did as she was told and sat on the couch next to Fenris, hands placed obediently in her lap. She kept her head down, not looking at him, and awaited further instruction.

Fenris sighed inwardly, trying to figure out how to get her to relax. He knew this would be an almost impossible task, without ordering her to do so, as there was no slave in the Tevinter Imperium given such a luxury as relaxing. Always be ready, always be respectful, never look into your Masters eyes unless they are speaking to you. Speak only when prompted with a question, and never question what you're told. Fenris remembered it took him a long time to break those habits, and knew this was just the beginning for her.

"Look at me," he said softly, and she did so, her blue eyes starting at him intently. He replayed each sentence in his head before speaking them, struggling to find the balance between them. "I need to ask you some questions."

"Of course Master," she replied.

He clenched his teeth at the formal title, but began asking for information. "How long have you had those markings?"

Arielle thought a moment. "Three weeks."

"What training have you had so far?"

"Summoning the Profane was my first lesson," she replied. "I took too long to master it though."

"What do you mean?"

"I could summon them but not control them. They took all of my energy and it would take days to recover. I was told I should've been controlling them from day two."

"Were you punished for this lack of control?"

"Yes," came the somber reply.

Fenris moved on. "What was your second lesson?"

"Not a lesson, but tests, to see how much power can be drawn from me."

Fenris was confused. "Explain."

Arielle thought for a moment on how to tell him. "A mage can draw energy from me for their spells without having to ingest lyrium."

Fenris' eyes widened. "An endless source of power?"

Arielle nodded. "Yes. I pull it from the ground and they pull it from me."

"You mean the Deep Roads," he tried to clarify.

"I'm sorry, I'm not certain. It wasn't explained to me _how_. The same way I can summon a Profane from anywhere I can draw energy from anywhere."

Fenris thought on this. A magister such as Danarius having access to unlimited resources to fuel his magic, he would be unstoppable. "You tire from the summoning. What does this drain of power do to you?"

"It burns," she said quietly.

Fenris understood better then. The blisters on her skin weren't remains from the ritual itself, but of the testing Danarius had done on her. He took a breath to try and calm his anger before continuing.

"How did you come to be in Danarius' service?"

"I've always lived with him," came the surprise answer.

Fenris tried to recall seeing her before, but found no memories of her. "I do not remember you," he said studying her face in an attempt to catch her in a lie.

"I wasn't allowed to leave the cellars until a year ago," Arielle told him.

"What changed that he called upon you?"

"My sister never returned," she said sadly.

"Who is your sister," Fenris asked.

Arielle shifted uncomfortably. "Hadriana."

Fenris stood up quickly and backed away from her, the shock of hearing Hadriana's name almost overwhelming him. He fought control over himself, keeping his own markings at rest and continued to look into Arielle's eyes. He knew she wasn't lying. It was there. The recognition, the resemblance. He missed it before, but now it was clearly in front of him. Arielle seemed upset at his sudden reaction, but remained seated.

A knock at the door interrupted the moment, and Fenris ordered her to follow as he walked to the door. He picked up his sword before opening it cautiously, and relaxed a bit when he saw Hawke and Anders. "Good morning," Hawke said to Fenris as he allowed them to enter.

Behind Fenris came Arielle, and she let out a scream when she saw Anders. Hawke looked between the both of them, unsure why Arielle had screamed, and the woman dropped to her knees behind Fenris. "Please Master, I'm sorry, please don't let him hurt me," she cried while grabbing on to Fenris' leg. Fenris looked to Hawke and then to Anders, but none of them could understand why the slave was now hysterical on the floor.


	6. Fear

"Hawke, I have to get out of here," Anders said while staring at the woman on the floor, crying and shaking in fear.

"Anders? What is it?" she asked with concern as Anders began to turn a pale white.

Fenris knelt down to try and calm Arielle, who was beginning to hyperventilate.

Anders tried to find a wall to lean on as he stepped back but failed, stumbling until Hawke grabbed him by the arm and kept him steady. "Come on," Hawke said to Anders. "Let's get some air."

Fenris took Arielle's chin in his hand and forced her to look at him. "You need to calm down," he said to her as she struggled to breath. "I will not let him harm you."

Arielle nodded, closing her eyes in an attempt to calm herself, but she continued to shake and gasp for air with short difficult breaths.

Fenris continued to speak calmly and soothingly to Arielle, who was beginning to feel lightheaded from the lack of air she was able to breath. She leaned into Fenris and rested her head on his chest as he put an arm around her carefully so he didn't touch her markings.

The door to the mansion opened shortly after Hawke and Anders had left, startling both Fenris and Arielle as Isabela walked through. When she saw the two crouched on the ground, she dropped what she was carrying and asked, "what happened? Are you both alright?"

Fenris nodded as Arielle pulled away from Fenris and leaned her head against the wall. Fenris stood up, asking Isabela "can you sit with her for a moment, I need to get her something to drink."

"Of course," Isabela said as she squatted down on the floor. Once Fenris was out of earshot, Isabela said to Arielle, "if sitting on the floor will become a habit for you both, I suggest one of you clean it."

Arielle looked up at Isabela and smiled at the comment, the first time she had smiled since they found her.

Fenris returned with a glass of water and handed it to Arielle who drank it slowly, finally calming down and getting her breathing back under control. Fenris extended a hand to both women to help them up and they stood in unison. "Arielle, please return to the living room. I will be right there."

Arielle nodded to both Fenris and Isabela, and left them alone in the foyer.

"Thank you," Fenris said to Isabela as he opened the door. "As you can see this isn't the best time for a visit."

Isabela got the hint that Fenris was kicking her out, but before she left she picked up the bag she had brought and handed it to him. "I thought I'd bring over some clothes since I know she doesn't have anything here and neither do you. It's a start, I can get more when I have more time."

Fenris looked surprised at the gesture but appreciated it. "Thank you. I hadn't thought of that."

"That's because you're not a woman," Isabela said winking at him. "Come find me when you're ready to discuss soaps and hair products, and other feminine needs that will arise…" Isabela said as she left the elf looking completely uncomfortable.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Outside Anders walked quickly, Hawke struggling to keep up with him as he practically ran from Fenris' door to the Chantry steps. "Anders, will you wait up," Hawke called after him but he refused to look back, focusing forward and concentrating on keeping Justice away.

Anders began to climb the Chantry stairs, stopping midway and leaning against the side. Hawke finally caught up to him and scolded him for running off. "I thought I was going to have to chase you all the way to Ferelden. What happened in there?"

Anders looked at Hawke briefly, then looked away, slowly recovering from what had just happened. "She isn't normal," Anders stated to Hawke after a few moments. "Her power, her energy, her projection of fear, it's overwhelming. It took everything in me to hold Justice back from destroying her."

Hawke grew concerned. "Is she a demon? A mage possessed?"

Anders shook his head. "No, she's not a mage nor demon. She's something else entirely."

"Are we in danger," Hawke asked as she leaned against the side of the steps next to Anders.

"I've never felt anything like it, I don't know. Her energy was so strong, and then when I frightened her, something happened. Her face….it was the darkest nightmare I have ever had."

Hawke turned to look at him. "It was evil?"

Anders nodded. "I had to get out of there."

"I know that feeling," Hawke said as she recalled the exact same feeling in Alfora's bedroom.

"Should we warn Fenris?" Hawke asked Anders as they began to descend the stairs together.

Anders shrugged. "I don't know. She seems to have taken to him, he may not be in any danger. Still you probably shouldn't discuss it around her. I don't even know what there is to discuss."

Hawke sighed. "Why is everything so complicated all the time?"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris brought the bag of clothes into the living room and placed it on the floor next to the couch. "Isabela brought you some clothes you can change into." He sat on the seat next to her. "We can get you whatever else you need later today or tomorrow if you are up to it."

Arielle thanked him but continued to look away. "I am sorry I was unable to control my fear."

Fenris sighed. "There is no need to apologize."

She turned to look at him now, appreciation in her eyes. "Thank you," she said softly.

"Can you tell me what frightened you?" he asked.

Arielle was quiet for a moment, as she tried to find the words to explain what had happened. "That man is not a normal mage," she finally said.

"No," Fenris confirmed. "But how do you know he's a mage?"

Arielle looked away again. "I felt his power shift when he entered. He felt like Danarius and Hadriana, only it wasn't just him. There's another entity inside him." She looked back at Fenris and whispered, as if someone was listening. "He's possessed."

Fenris nodded and growled. "Yes. He claims to have merged with a spirit from the Fade."

Arielle's eyes widened. "He does not look like an abomination on the surface."

Fenris thought of several replies to this statement that would seem appropriate to how he felt about Anders, but knew eventually they'd have to see each other again. He held back his negative comments, as difficult as it was. "He is a healing mage and has saved many in the time I have known him."

Arielle nodded. "And the spirit?"

"Isn't pleasant," Fenris replied quickly. "Anders does what he can to control it however." Fenris shifted the conversation back to its previous state. "You say you are Hadriana's sister?"

"Yes," came the confirmation.

Fenris studied her then, wondering what she knew about the relationship between Hadriana and Danarius, or their relationship with him. "Your sister never mentioned me?"

Arielle shook her head. "We weren't permitted to speak."

Fenris was confused. "You said you always lived with Danarius and lived in the cellars? Hadriana did not come to see you?"

"No," came a saddened reply. "I've never met her."

He found her story more and more difficult to believe, and forced her to explain. "What you are telling me does not make sense," he said angrily.

He saw the fear in her eyes and regretted it instantly. But she told him what she knew. "One day I became very sick with fever and two mages were sent for to heal me. I overhead them talking and they said if they didn't make sure I lived that Danarius would punish them because I was Hadriana's sister. I don't think she knew I was there or even existed," Arielle looked upset again, "at least that's what I had told myself was the reason she never came, or got me out of there."

Fenris had to ask. "So you remember everything from before you received your markings?"

She looked away. "I didn't, at first. But then I was forced to."

Fenris raised an eyebrow. "How?"

"A mage did it. I was brought into the Fade and was forced to relive everything so I'd remember."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke and Anders met up with Varric at the Hanged Man who was still going through Bartrands paperwork. Letters and receipts were put into numerous piles of a system that only Varric could understand as Hawke tried to make sense of it. They filled Varric in on what had happened at the mansion, and Varrics eyes went wide. "This is going to be a fantastic story. I can't wait for the ending!"

Hawke rolled her eyes at him and Anders sat back rubbing his temples. "If the ending is our death it'll be much greater won't it Varric?"

The dwarf nodded. "Of course," he said as he went back to studying the pages in front of him. "I can't seem to make sense of any of this. My brother made several inquiries into the lyrium itself, and the only response he received was from some scholar claiming the lyrium is called 'Primevil.' Says here it's more dangerous than its normal counterpart, and it's known to give its users supernatural abilities at the cost of their sanity."

"Well that's encouraging," Hawke said shaking her head.

"Mhmm. Says what we already knew, that even dwarves are susceptible to its effects. It also greatly enhances any magical abilities of its possessor, but if you say she isn't a mage then we don't have to worry about that one."

Hawke thought for a moment. "Who is this scholar Bartrand received this information from? If we can talk to him…"

"Already ahead of you Hawke," Varric said. "His name is Gertek, still in Orzammar from what I can gather. I'll put that signet ring to good use and get a message to him."

"Sure, by the time he responds we'll all be mad," Anders said putting his head on the table.

"Are you alright," Hawke asked the mage.

"Justice is being difficult," Anders stated, fighting some internal struggle within his mind. "Sometimes I wish he had an off switch."

"That would be too easy," Hawke said smiling, trying to lighten up the mood.

There was a knock at Varric's door and Isabela popped her head in. "Hawke, got a minute?"

Hawke stood up and excused herself from the men as she followed Isabela to her room. "What is it?"

"You're terrible at surprises aren't you," Isabela said as she opened the door to her room and allowed Hawke to enter.

Standing in the corner looking out the window was a hooded man. Hawke looked to Isabela who said nothing as the man turned around to face them. "First Enchanter," Hawke gasped in surprise. "_Isabela!_ You brought the First Enchanter to the _Hanged Man_?"

"At least it's not the Rose. He needed some air; the Gallows are too stuffy," Isabela said plopping herself down on her bed. "Wait til you hear this story Hawke, it's well worth it."


	7. Projection

"I mean no disrespect," Hawke apologized to Orsino as he stood in Isabela's room. "It's just taken me aback a little to see you in this environment."

The First Enchanter nodded, lowering his hood and sitting on a chair, gesturing for Hawke to do the same. Isabela began filing her nails, listening to the two converse.

"Coming to the Gallows would be ill-advised at this time," Orsino began, "especially if word gets out that you are seeking information on the primevil lyrium."

Hawke looked to Isabela who looked up long enough to smile at her and then returned to her nails. "What can you offer on the subject?"

"What you uncovered in the Deep Roads is very dangerous," he began. "Others have already followed your route through the thaigs and retrieved more of the substance, using it for unnatural things."

That got Hawke's attention as she leaned forward to listen intently. "Such as," she prodded carefully.

"Experiments have already begun testing the lyriums effects on individuals. When templars first discovered natural lyrium gave them skills beyond the norm, it was tested much the same. Unfortunately the Chantry does not have control over primevil lyrium, and it's fallen into several wrong hands already."

"Forgive my curiosity First Enchanter, but you seem to know a lot about something that has only surfaced over the last few years."

Orsino nodded. "It has crossed my path twice now, from two very different sources."

Isabela stopped fiddling with her nails and sat up for this, knowing what Hawke was going to ask next. "Can you elaborate on the two sources?"

Orsino leaned in dropping his voice to a whisper. "The first you are already familiar with," he began, and Hawke shifted uncomfortably wondering how much this man already knew. "It is no secret that you count amongst your companions an elf that has lyrium branded into him." Hawke nodded and Orsino continued. "Though I'm not familiar with his story, there is rumor of a magister in Tevinter that has branded a woman with the primevil lyrium in the same fashion and plans on using her as a weapon against the Qunari."

Hawke looked at Isabela for a reaction, and it was clear she had already heard about this, her face remaining neutral. "My companion is rather skilled," Hawke tested. "Have you any idea what skills this other lyrium would give someone?"

Orsino shook his head and Hawke tried to hide her disappointment. "It's difficult to say what could come of that," Orsino said. "I shudder to think of anyone being brutalized in that manor but things are different in Tevinter."

Hawke nodded in agreement. "And the second source?"

Orsino spoke even lower then, and Hawke had to strain to hear him. "Knight-Commander Meredith had commissioned a sword infused with the lyrium. Since it's come into her possession..." he paused, daring to speak ill of the woman, "she's changed."

"Let me guess," Hawke said, "more attitude than usual, a bit paranoid, strange delusions?"

Orsino looked surprised. "Yes; how do you know this?"

"That's what happened to the dwarf who handled the lyrium when we found it," Hawke stated. "It drove him insane."

Orsino stood up. "This is alarming news!" He began to pace as he thought on what Hawke had said. "It's no wonder she's seeing blood magic in every corner. You have to do something about this," he said to her.

"Me?" Hawke stood up. "What could _I_ do against _her_?"

He put his head down, "I don't know, but this is very dangerous indeed." They were silent for a few minutes until Orsino spoke again. "I must return to the Gallows. I will look into this further and call for you when I know more."

Hawke nodded and Isabela hopped off the bed. "Do you need an escort?" Isabela asked the First Enchanter.

"No, thank you my dear, I will be fine." Orsino put his hood back up, cape hiding the large staff on his back. "This is a delicate situation Hawke, I needn't remind you discretion is key."

Hawke nodded as he walked out of the room, leaving Hawke to plop down on the bed next to Isabela. "We really stepped into it this time," she said with a sigh.

Isabela laughed at the situation. "Oh please. After the Arishok, Meredith is just a big fluffy insane kitten. What's the worst that could happen?"

Hawke glared at her for saying those words, then leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "Sometimes I really miss the darkspawn."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Are you certain they are your memories and not something false you were led to believe?" Fenris asked Arielle after she explained her trip in the Fade.

She had never doubted it before, but his question got her thinking. "It could be false," she admitted. "I see images and events but I can not say it was my life. It's different than when I think of the last few weeks. It _feels_ different."

"Perhaps they only wanted you to think you had always lived there," Fenris stated. "I can not say either way, but I do not recall anyone being in the cellars or even a mention of such."

Arielle processed what he said, and became conflicted with emotions. "I apologize for not having the answers you seek," she said looking down again.

Fenris sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, and in doing so noticed her recoil slightly as if she had disappointed him again. He couldn't take much more of his "role" so he decided now was the time to try and make things right. "Arielle, there is something I must explain to you."

She looked up at him intently and nodded, as if waiting for her next command.

He tried to come up with the words in his head before speaking them, wondering what would've worked with him had the situation been reversed. If she had a life before the markings, she was unaware of it, and Fenris didn't believe her memories of a life of solitude in the cellars. She was led to believe that, to conform better to slavery, and he needed to break her from that world as gently as possible.

Arielle continued to look at him, blue eyes wide in anticipation, and Fenris found it hard to deny the resemblance to Hadriana. She was a beautiful woman, Fenris never denied her that, but she was a torment to him. Seeing her eyes again in the slave across from him made him a little uneasy.

But as quickly as he felt uncomfortable he suddenly felt calmness come over him. The confusion and inner turmoil he was dealing with slipped away, and when he looked at her again, he only felt compassion and warmth.

He stood up quickly and moved away from her, noticing the faint glow of her markings under her shirt. "What are you doing to me?" he demanded.

Arielle immediately put her head down. "I'm sorry Master."

He moved closer to her. "_What did you do to me?_" he asked again.

"I don't know," she said softly, fear now in her eyes. "You seemed upset and I only wished you weren't."

Fenris narrowed his eyes at her, standing over her from behind the couch. "You _wished_ it?"

She nodded, turning away from him. "I didn't realize I was doing anything," she said apologizing again.

He circled the couch and sat down again, taking her chin and forcing her to look at him. "Do it again," he commanded.

She looked at him wide eyed. "Master?"

"Do it _again_," he repeated.

Arielle thought for a moment and then focused on repeating what she had just done. She thought of comforting Fenris, wanting him to relax and be calm, and she saw him react and knew she was doing it again. This time she paid attention and felt the markings pulse under her skin. She looked down at her arm and pulled up the sleeve of her shirt, and indeed her markings were giving off a soft glow.

Fenris felt the change within him again. "You are projecting emotion," he confirmed.

She nodded. "I'm sorry; I didn't know I could do this."

"I imagine there is a lot you can do that you haven't even begun to discover," Fenris said softly, realizing the only person who held the answers was the one person he wanted dead. "We will have to work on controlling that."

Arielle seemed to relax a little when she felt he was no longer angry with her. She pulled her sleeve back down, hiding the now unlit markings once again, and Fenris settled back into his thoughts of revealing the truth to her.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke and Isabela returned to Varric's room to fill him in on what had happened with Orsino. "Where's Anders?" Hawke asked noticing the missing mage.

"He mumbled something about Justice," Varric said without looking up from the papers he was reading. "I think he went sulking back to Darktown."

Hawke slumped in her chair. "Getting those two together was not my brightest idea," she stated with a heavy sigh. "I suppose I should go check on him, make sure he's still..._him_."

Isabela chuckled as she sat and put her feet on the table. "He can wait. Fill Varric in; I am just dying to see his expression."

Varric looked up in anticipation as Hawke told him everything they had learned from Orsino. Isabela received the reaction she had hoped for when he stood and said, "are you shitting me?"

Hawke shook her head. "I shit you not Varric."

"I can not believe the mess that lyrium is creating all over Thedas. And if even the First Enchanter knows about Arielle..."

"Then having her here only puts us all in danger," Hawke finished his sentence. "Whatever else she can do must be pretty powerful for Danarius to think she can destroy all the Qunari."

"Or she'll destroy all of us," Isabela said what everyone else was thinking. "I think I'll stop stealing things for a while."

"Ya think?" Hawke said exhausted. "But we can't forget that she's still a person, not just some..._thing_. We can't just kill her, if we even knew how to kill her."

Varric shrugged. "If it bleeds, it can be killed."

"Easy for you to say, you haven't even met her," Hawke stated. "You almost can't help but feel sorry for her."

"Not if she has Broody's attitude," Varric smirked.

Hawke laughed at him. "Joke all you want Varric, but you'd die for Fenris now and you know it."

He nodded. "I suppose you're right, I am not as heartless as I portray myself in my stories. Speaking of Broody, shouldn't someone fill him in on this new information? And Aveline? There's a lot more to worry about knowing what we now know about Meredith."

Isabela and Varric looked at Hawke. "Why do I always have to be the one to talk to him? He's your friend too!"

"Yes but we aren't as _friendly_ as you are with him," Isabela said coyly.

Hawke threw her hands up in frustration as she stood. "Fine. I'll go. Even though last time I went there I made the poor girl fall into a heap of hysterics. What more could possibly go wrong?"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"I am not your Master," Fenris blurted out, seeing no other way to say it. "You are free now and belong to no one."

Arielle didn't understand. "I know I haven't performed as I should. I'm sorry, I can do better..." she began.

He cut her off. "No, you don't understand. You were rescued from Danarius. You do not belong to me any more than you belonged to him. Here you can be free; build a life for yourself."

Confusion spread through her expression and then fear filled her eyes. "He did not mean for me to accompany you?"

"Danarius only used you for his own personal gain. You are nothing but a weapon to him that he built to enhance his powers," Fenris tried to explain. "We brought you here to get you away from him."

Arielle stood suddenly, panic filling Fenris as she inadvertently projected her feelings once more. "He will kill me," she said in a whisper. "I must return to him and beg him for forgiveness!" She ran towards the door and Fenris jumped up to grab her. Arielle's markings shown brightly under her shirt as she took her hand and pushed Fenris hard, sending him flying into the wall. For a moment she felt remorse at hurting the man that had been kind to her, and apologized to him as she fled from the mansion.


	8. Wounded

She ran out of Fenris' mansion and immediately turned left, almost running into the guard standing there. She gasped and ran forward passing two more guards and several homes until she came to an open courtyard only to discover it was a dead end.

She ran back towards the mansion and turned left down the stairs, running past the blur of faces and ignoring the conversations that sounded loud in her mind. Another set of stairs on the left going down, another courtyard. To her left was an enormous building with statues as tall as the sky, and a woman dressed in robes at the bottom of the stairs. "Though the lands suffer a thousand wrongs, the Maker yet notices the smallest of deeds."

The statement echoed in her mind as she ran in the opposite direction of the stairs. She had to keep going, couldn't stop, couldn't be caught again. Several people in fancy clothes grunted in disgust at her lack of manners as she ran past them and almost into them. More stairs to the right, another enormous building, mustn't stop, must continue.

But suddenly she noticed something and did stop. A door ahead of her with two shields on the walls. They held the same symbol as the small crest Fenris wore on his belt. She wasn't safe here, she had to keep running. Her bare feet hitting stone echoed in her ears with the loud thumping of her heart.

She was too close to her, to them, to him. She turned from the estate and saw a large man with a painted chest.

_Qunari!_

The fear rose within her as she ran passed him; more stairs to the left, to a small market with several merchants. "Might you need a new outfit Serah, or perhaps some shoes?" he asked as he looked down at her bare feet. She blinked and ran away from him, passed several more merchants until she stopped at the rail overlooking the water. _Yes_, she thought, a ship could get her out of here faster than her own legs. She ran down the stairs to find the docks.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke, Varric, and Isabela approached Fenris' mansion cautiously. His front door was open, something they had never seen before. Hawke moved silently with Isabela to both sides of the entrance as Varric aimed Bianca to cover them. Hawke pushed the door further open and peered inside.

She ran to the slumped form against the wall. "Fenris? Fenris can you hear me?"

Isabela and Varric followed behind, Bianca still ready for anything.

He stirred, opened his eyes and looked up at Hawke leaning over him. "Arielle," he said in a faint whisper, and Hawke looked at Isabela giving the unspoken command to check the rest of the mansion.

She knelt down next to him. "Are you hurt?" She noticed the wall behind him had been pushed in, the force of his body hitting it indenting an outline of his form in the stone. "Fenris?"

He rolled his shoulders back and titled his head up. "I am not….well," came the response He forced his eyes to remain open and turned to look at her. "She ran," he said before coughing, the taste of blood in his mouth.

"She did this to you?"

Fenris remained silent as he tried to stand.

"Here, let me help you," Hawke said standing first and then extending a hand to him. She helped him get on his feet and he leaned on the wall for a moment. His hand felt cold and clammy to her touch. "Let me go get Anders…"

"No," he cut her off. "Help me to the couch."

She did as he asked, fear almost overwhelming her as he moved slowly towards the living room while leaning on her. It was painfully clear to her that he was not well, keeping most of his weight on her as they walked.

Isabela and Varric returned from their search as Hawke helped Fenris. "What happened?"

He sat down slowly, wincing in pain from the bruised rib he knew he had. "You have to find her Hawke," he said. "Before something happens."

"I need to get you help," she said angrily, more concerned about him than Arielle.

"Please Hawke," he begged, eyes filled with worry. "She can _not_ be out there alone."

She melted under the pleading of his eyes. "Fine," she sighed in resolve. "Where would she go?"

Fenris shook his head which only intensified the headache he was now feeling. "I do not know."

Hawke thought a moment. "Well, where would _you_ go," she asked the former slave.

He looked at her with anger at first, but then understood why she was asking. "The docks," he said as if it were obvious.

Hawke looked to Isabela. "Isabela, go to the estate and tell Bodahn to let you into the vault. There's a passageway there to Darktown. Get Anders and bring him here." She nodded. "Varric, go tell Aveline what has happened. She needs to know in case the guards find Arielle first."

"You got it Hawke," Varric said as he and Isabela took off.

"Fenris," Hawke whispered his name as he lay back, drifting in and out of consciousness, "I'll be back soon, and Anders is on the way. Hang in there."

He reached for her hand and squeezed it weakly. "Be careful Hawke. Try not to hurt her."

"I will do my best," she said sighing as she released his hand. He drifted off to sleep and Hawke silently prayed to the Maker he would be okay.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Arielle reached the end of the stairs and entered Lowtown. The soft feel of stone under her feet was replaced by harsh dirt and sand, causing pain as she ran. A quick study of her surroundings showed several more merchants selling weapons and potions and random strangers browsing their wares. Before her there were two paths she could take: left or right. She saw smoke in the distance on the right and chose that option, heading down another small set of stairs.

More merchants in what appeared to be the middle of this section of town. More stairs in front of her, going back up. When she got to the top of the stairs she noticed a door with a large hanging man in front of it. She shrieked at the sight and continued to run to the right towards the smoke.

She came upon a small alcove in front of the Foundry. A few men gave her a curious glance as she realized she had run into a dead end with only the Foundry entrance before her. "Need a hand Serah?" a man asked, front teeth missing and smelling of smoke. She turned from him and ran back out into the streets, straight ahead until she saw more water and more stairs. She followed the steps down to the docks.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke ran down the stairs to Lowtown. Varric and Aveline were waiting by Lady Elegant's stall, absently browsing the merchandise. "Did you fill her in?" Hawke asked Varric as she reached them.

Varric nodded. "Just waiting on you."

Hawke continued past them, trusting them to follow as she began to run again, past the Hanged Man and the Foundry towards the staircase leading down to the docks.

As soon as she reached the bottom step she saw Arielle, standing in front of the large statue Kirkwall had dedicated to her. Even after all this time, she still found the sight of herself standing triumphantly over the Arishoks head bizarre. Hawke held up a hand, indicating to Aveline and Varric to stay put, then continued forwards. It took her a moment to realize she was shaking, the adrenaline of the chase and the terror of finding Fenris slumped over beginning to catch up to her.

"Arielle," Hawke said quietly, fighting to keep her voice steady and not let any of her confused emotions show.

Arielle didn't move, continuing to look up at the statue. "This is you?" she said as soon as Hawke was within earshot.

"Yes. For defeating the Qunari when they invaded Kirkwall."

Arielle turned to look at her. "I saw one in the city on my way here," Arielle said as if it were a question.

"That is Taarbas," Hawke explained. "He is here to collect the swords of the fallen Qunari."

Arielle studied her for a moment before nodding. "I am to kill all Qunari," she said silently, looking back towards the statue. "Like you."

Hawke cautiously moved closer to her. "I didn't _want_ to kill them Arielle. They left me little choice when they attacked the city. If it could've been resolved peacefully, I would've done so."

"Danarius does not want peace with the Qunari," Arielle said solemnly.

Hawke now stood in front of her, seeing her friends look on behind Arielle. "You don't have to do anything Danarius wants anymore," Hawke tried to explain gently. "He can not harm you here, not with me around."

"He will kill me" she said softly, fear beginning to take hold of her yet again.

"No," Hawke said sternly, "he will not. I will make sure he never harms you or Fenris again."

Arielle's eyes widened at the mention of Fenris' name. "I hurt him," she said in a panicked voice, remembering throwing Fenris against the wall.

Hawke tried to control the anger within her. "He sent me here to find you. He was more concerned about you than his own injuries."

Arielle turned away, and Hawke suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt and shame. She knew these weren't her feelings, that they were Arielle's, yet she felt it anyway. "Arielle, Fenris isn't upset with you. He wants you to be safe. Please, come back with us."

"Fenris said that mage Anders is a healer," Arielle said as if asking.

"Yes," Hawke said growing frustrated. "He's on his way to Fenris now so we need to hurry."

"He's possessed," she whispered more to herself.

Hawke shrugged. "Apparently we all have our flaws," she said without realizing the underlying tone of her comment towards the slave. "Let's go, Fenris will feel better knowing you are alright."

Arielle agreed to go with them, and they made their way back to the mansion.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Isabela was sitting in the foyer when they returned. "How is he?" Hawke asked as she glanced into the living room and saw Anders moving his hands slowly over Fenris.

Isabela shrugged. "He's been in there a while." She looked past Hawke to Arielle. "He'll be happy you're back though," she said to her.

Arielle didn't speak as she stared at the wall where she had pushed Fenris. The large dent made her gasp in horror at what she had done. She walked trancelike into the living room that radiated magic, her markings beginning to itch.

Anders stopped what he was doing when he felt Arielle enter the room with Hawke right behind her. Arielle looked down at Fenris laying on the couch, still not moving, and her eyes filled with tears. Behind her, Hawke asked Anders, "will he be okay?"

Anders shook his head. "It's going to take me some time Hawke. He's banged up pretty bad and I didn't come here with a lot of energy to begin with," he said as if ashamed he couldn't do more.

Hawke shot a glance at Arielle and cursed under her breath, storming out of the room before she said or did something she may regret.

Arielle remained and looked to Anders. "Can you heal him?" she asked the mage quietly.

Anders looked at the woman as she stared at Fenris, able to see her true face this time and the sadness in her eyes. "I don't know," he said honestly. "In a few hours, maybe, when I regain some strength I can try again."

Arielle turned to leave, spotting Hawke pacing in the hall and Aveline trying to calm her down. She had to make this right, no matter what the cost. These people had helped her, and she did nothing but bring them pain. Arielle closed the doors to the living room and locked them.

"What are you doing?" Anders asked as she lowered a wooden board, securing the doors.

Arielle slowly removed her shirt, exposing the lyrium markings as they began to glow, and moved back towards Fenris. "Take my power," she said as she knelt down next to Fenris. "Use it to help him."

Anders shift uncomfortably at the sight of the half naked woman before him. "What do I need to do?"

Arielle held Fenris' hand. "I will do it for you," she said as she slowly brushed the hair out of Fenris' face. She took in a deep breath, preparing for the pain that was about to come. "No matter what happens, do not stop until you are finished," she said as the markings grew brighter.

She put her head down and projected her energy towards Anders. He immediately felt the connection she created between them, and felt as if he had an endless source of power. He set to work on Fenris.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"What in Makers name…" Varric said as he noticed the red light coming out from the bottom of the living room doors.

Hawke paused and looked around, realizing Arielle wasn't with them. She moved towards the door and tried to open it, but it was locked. She banged on the door. "Anders?"

There was no reply from Anders, but Hawke swore she heard a soft whimpering from Arielle. She tried to pick the lock on the door but was unsuccessful, and Isabela tried as well. "They've barred the door from the inside," Isabela stated. "I'm sure it's alright though," she tried to calm a worried Hawke. "I don't think she would hurt him."

"She _did_ hurt him," Hawke reminded her friend as she tried to force her way into the room.

"Hawke!" Aveline yelled at her friend. "No point in hurting yourself as well. Give them a few minutes before you break the door down."

And it was only a few moments later that the light faded from under the door, and Hawke was able to enter. Fenris lay on the couch, color returning to his face as he began to stir. Anders helped Arielle stand as she was shaking and crying in pain. Hawke noticed her back as they walked past her; new blisters were forming on the surface of her skin. She moved to confront Anders when Fenris' voice caught her attention. "Hawke?"

"I'm here Fenris," she said as she knelt beside him now, seeing Isabela in the hall lead Arielle upstairs.

He began to sit up with little effort, and Hawke was relieved at the movement. "How do you feel?"

Fenris twisted his back and neck, as if making sure everything was working. "Better," he said as he smiled at her, resting his hand on her face. "Did you find her?"

Hawke looked at him in surprise. "Yes Fenris," she replied. "Do you not remember her being here?"

He shook his head, clearly still a bit disoriented. "What happened?"

"I'm not certain," Hawke said honestly. "Anders tried to heal you but was having trouble," she said quietly. "I think she helped him." Fenris' alarmed reaction startled Hawke. He stood up to go find Arielle, but Hawke kept a grip on his arm, "Isabela is with her Fenris, she may need a few moments."

Anders returned to the living room then, and Fenris grunted a "thank you" to him.

"I would not have been able to do it without her," Anders said a little shaken. "She insisted; I didn't know it would do_ that_ to her."

"It's okay Anders," Hawke said to him. "It was obviously her choice to offer it to you."

Fenris nodded but said nothing.

Varric and Aveline joined them in the living room, neither one comfortable with mentioning what had just happened, so instead Hawke took the free time to fill Fenris and Aveline in on what they found out from Orsino. She also filled them in on how Arielle confirmed the fact that Danarius wanted her to destroy the Qunari.

Aveline was obviously upset about hearing Meredith's involvement, but saw no immediate way to rectify the situation short of stealing her sword. Even then, Varric reminded them, it probably wouldn't help if she was already starting to lose her mind since Bartrand continued to worsen even after he sold the idol.

Anders commented on Orsino already hearing of Arielle's existence, and wondered if they could trust the First Enchanter after he made the connection between Fenris and Danarius. All this new information had everyone on edge, and Hawke was beginning to wonder where it would all lead to.

Isabela came down the stairs and Fenris looked up at her. "Is she alright?"

The obvious shift in Isabela's normally upbeat mood caused alarm. "It's pretty ugly," she stated. "She says magic can not be used to heal her so she has to suffer through it."

Fenris was noticeably upset by the news, and Hawke felt the anger build within her. "Maybe she'll learn not to go hurting the people that help her," she said before she thought.

"Yes," Fenris snarled. "Punishment for the slave, how_ fitting_."

The group felt the immediate tension between the couple as Hawke stood up and stormed out towards the kitchen.

Varric tried to diffuse the situation. "Hawke didn't mean it like that elf; she's just upset at the condition we found you in earlier."

"_Bah_," he said in exasperation, now standing and going after Hawke.

"I think that's our cue to leave," Aveline stated as she looked towards the others who nodded in agreement. "Drinks?"

They headed out as heated words flowed from the kitchen.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"She's the reason you were hurt in the first place Fenris, and now you defend her?"

"I am not defending her," Fenris said in frustration. "But you can not hold her accountable for her actions."

"Why not?" Hawke insisted. "She's human Fenris, she makes choices same as you or I."

"No," he tried to explain. "You do not understand."

"Oh that's right, I don't understand," Hawke mocked. "I'm just some pathetic nobody who doesn't understand anything."

"I did not say that," Fenris tried.

Hawke wasn't listening. "She almost _killed_ you Fenris. Am I supposed to just be okay with that?"

"She was scared," he said quietly, feeling sorry for the slave.

"Next time I'm scared I'll take it out on you and you can forgive me," she said sarcastically.

"Like you are now," he countered. She opened her mouth to respond, but realization hit that he had a point. She moved towards him, defeated, and he pulled her in to embrace her. "I am fine Hawke," he said reassuringly.

She allowed the comfort for a few moments, feeling the weight of the day escape her.

Hawke pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. "I can't take much more of this Fenris. It seems the world insists on throwing everything at us and I'm tired of it."

He smiled at her. "Shall we leave and start a farm then?"

Her usual laugh filled the kitchen, feeling a little better. "No," she said as she hugged him again. "But maybe a garden?"

"I'll see what I can do," he said as he stroked her hair. "Perhaps I can come by later?"

Hawke sighed as she realized he was now asking her to leave, but tried to be the better person. "Maybe you should stay with her tonight. But tomorrow, you're_ mine_," she said as she kissed him.

"Just tomorrow?" he joked after tasting her lips.

"If you're lucky, maybe even the day after," she teased as she walked with him to the front door. "I hope she is alright," she added honestly.

He nodded but said nothing as he closed the door behind her and locked it. He looked upwards as he noticed Arielle standing at the top of the stairs. "You can come down," he said to her as he made his way to the living room and sat down, waiting for her to join him.

Arielle slowly descended the stairs, pain shooting through her back as the new shirt she wore rubbed against her wounds. She tried to hide it when she entered the room and sat down opposite Fenris. Now that she was alone with him, she couldn't look at him. She still felt guilty for hurting him and feared being alone with him.

Fenris felt her fear as she inadvertently projected her emotions again, and he adjusted his position to look at her. "I am not going to harm you," he said calmly.

"I am sorry," Arielle said softly without looking at him. "I didn't mean to…"

"I know," Fenris cut her off. "What you did to help Anders…"

"I did for you," she corrected him.

"Is it...is there something I can do to ease that pain?"

Arielle shook her head, not wanting to admit to him that she wanted to feel that pain as a self-punishment for hurting him.

He sighed, struggling within himself to find a way to comfort her. "You ran before I could finish saying what I wanted you to know," he stated. "May I tell you now?"

Arielle looked up at him, sad eyes meeting his, and she nodded. He knew she felt guilt and shame, and also knew it would be a long road to helping her have any kind of normal life. "I was also a slave," he began explaining to her. "As you may have guessed from my markings, I was a slave to Danarius as well." Her eyes widened at the admission, and he continued. "I do not remember anything before receiving these markings; that is why I feel your memories are not your own, but some trickery of the magisters."

She looked away for a moment and thought about what he had said. "Then I do not know who I am," she realized. "Or even if Hadriana was really my sister."

Fenris shook his head. "I can not say for certain, but having known Hadriana, it is possible since there is a resemblance."

"Maybe she could help me remember," Arielle said hopefully.

Now Fenris felt guilt. He took her hands in his. "Hadriana is dead," he said softly, trying to hide both the joy and guilt he felt in saying it.

"Oh," she said looking off into the distance. "Then I guess I will never know."

"Neither will I," Fenris stated in an attempt to comfort her, letting her know she wasn't alone. "Hawke says the not knowing just means there's nothing holding you back, that you can start fresh." Arielle shook her head towards the contrary, and Fenris asked, "you disagree?"

Arielle shifted uncomfortably, but replied quietly. "She can't understand."

Fenris squeezed her hands after realizing he was still holding them. "No, I suppose she can't."

"She hates me," Arielle stated.

"No," Fenris returned. "As you say, she does not understand. None of them do." He let go of her hands and thought for a moment. "I guess it's good we have found each other then," he said honestly.

Arielle's eyes met his as he gave her a brief smile, and all seemed to be forgiven for a time.

Fenris felt a stir within him. "Are you hungry? I suddenly feel very famished." He stood and held out his hand for her which she accepted.

She made no reply, but the noise her stomach made at that very moment caused them both to laugh. "I take that as a yes," he said leading her to the kitchen. "You should laugh more often Arielle," he said sincerely to her. "It is a beautiful sound."

She blushed at the compliment and followed him to the kitchen, still holding his hand.


	9. Spare Time

"So what do you suppose they _do_ up in that mansion at night?"

"Damned if I know Rivaini. Why, you think it's worth thinking about?"

"Don't you? Broody, green eyed elf alone with suffering blue eyed slave girl?"

"I like where you're going with this; hold on, let me write that down..."

Aveline rolled her eyes in disgust as Isabela and Varric bantered back and forth. She wasn't one for gossip or rumors and watching the two spin their tale was almost enough to make her leave. She let her disapproving attitude be known by slamming her empty mug on the table, startling Varric.

"What?" He shrugged innocently. "This is good stuff!"

"You claim to be his friend but would do this?"

"Hey," Varric seemed offended by her statement. "I'm your friend too and I have volumes on you already."

Aveline shook her head, unsure of the dwarf was lying or spinning more of his tales. "I've had my fill for today," she said as she stood up and left.

"What about you Blondie?" Varric asked Anders, ignoring Aveline's exit. "Offended by my talent for making a living off of others lives?"

Anders wasn't paying attention to any of the conversation, and hadn't been for the better part of the last hour. He kept looking at his hand, turning it over, flexing his fingers, and shaking his head. They had left him alone for the most part, figuring it was his usual moodiness. But with Avelines departure, he was now fair game.

"Oh Anders," Isabela called looking at the mage. "Anders are you there?"

His head snapped to attention finally and looked at the pirate and the dwarf. "What?"

"_What_," Varric repeated laughing. "I know your hand is probably very interesting in private, but you're in mixed company now. Please, spare us the admiration."

Anders eyes narrowed at Varric. "What are you talking about?"

"Pay attention, sheesh," Isabela sighed in boredom. "We were talking about Fenris and Arielle being all alone. And then you and your alone time with lefty there."

Anders looked at his hand again and shook his head. "I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"Somewhere else?" Varric offered.

"Or someone," Isabela said smiling at her own joke.

The mage didn't respond directly to them, but as he turned his hand over again and inspected it, he said, "I can still feel her power within me."

Varric and Isabela exchanged a serious glance and then turned back to Anders. "You aren't going crazy," Varric asked, "are you?"

He looked up at Varric and smiled. "No. It's...amazing. This feeling is like nothing I have ever felt. The power lingers, as if it's not finished yet."

Isabela leaned back in her chair. "So now you have unfinished power and an unwanted spirit within you? Getting a little too crowded for me in there."

Varric chuckled but kept his eyes on Anders. "How did she do it anyway?"

His eyes glazed over a bit, replaying the scene in his mind. "She removed her shirt..."

"Wait, wait," Varric said as he began writing again.

Anders scowled at him but continued, "and then her markings began to glow. As they did, I heard a humming."

"Describe the humming," Isabela asked as she sat up intently.

He tried to describe what he heard. "It had a soft, soothing hypnotic rhythm to it. Almost what I imagine singing would sound like to a baby in a mothers womb. Melodic, beautiful; no words, only the song."

Varric looked up from his writing. "And you're_ not_ going crazy, right?"

"No," Anders whispered as he thought about it. "The warmth and power she filled me with, it was unimaginable. Like diving into warm springs and realizing you can fly all at once."

"Anything else?" Isabela inquired.

He nodded. "Every hair on my body was standing on end; the smallest breeze stimulating sensations in my body," he relayed. "If I was only able to close my eyes, it'd be a dream I never would wake from."

"Sounds _orgasmic_," Isabela swooned.

"Uhm Rivaini? Everything is orgasmic to you," Varric joked.

"No, she's right," Anders corrected. "Only the feeling still lingers. Each movement of my hand still tingles. It's amazing."

Varric looked between Anders and Isabela. "Do you two need to be alone?"

Isabela gave Anders a wide grin and stood up. "Can you still do that _thing_ you did at The Pearl a few years ago?"

Anders nodded, eyes widening.

Isabela took his hand and forced him to stand, and then led him out of Varrics room.

Varric shook his head and continued writing his epic love story.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris had scraped together what little food he had left in the kitchen and made dinner for Arielle and himself. They sat in relative silence when they ate together, and Fenris had a flash of memory to a time before when he used to eat with the other slaves. It was much like this; a filthy room, no real utensils or fancy dishes to eat from, and no conversation.

It got him thinking to how much had really changed for him since he was no longer a slave. Although he had been in Kirkwall for over six years now, he still chose to live in a filthy mansion with little to no luxuries. He was comfortable on his small mattress, more than fine to continue eating with his hands as he always had. Never tried to wear shoes; as far as he could remember he never had, so why start now?

He allowed himself the freedom of a relationship with Hawke, but even then he wasn't as free as he'd seen others be. They weren't very open with their affections in public, and they hadn't been together since their first time. Hawke explained she wanted to take it slow and have their relationship progress as it naturally should've in the first place. Their first night together was after the death of Hadriana, and this is where Hawke believes their relationship failed; sex driven by anger, not love. Fenris didn't agree with that theory, but he didn't want to argue with her since she had just forgiven him for breaking her heart.

He thought about all the times he had left the mansion to visit his friends or walk around Kirkwall. He always wore his armor and never left his weapon at home; another sign he felt he still wasn't free. To be able to dress as a normal man, or go to the market place without being aware of your surroundings, to just be…this was a luxury he couldn't afford. So no, Fenris thought, not much has really changed in all these years. Would it ever he wondered?

Fenris looked up from his meal briefly at Arielle. Her head was down and she ate quickly and silently; exactly like a slave. He knew he could stare at her for a while without her looking at him; she was still so programmed to that life. And the more he thought about it, so was he.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Isabela went by Hawke's estate the next morning. Hawke welcomed her friend to breakfast, surprised Isabela was awake so early. "I don't think I've ever seen you awake before noon Isabela. Are you feeling alright?"

"Mock me if you must," she said helping herself to a biscuit. "But you'll appreciate me more when I tell you what I have for you."

"Oh?" Hawke raised an eyebrow at the pirate as she dunked her biscuit in Bodahn's special gravy. "What's the occasion?"

"Spreading the love," Isabela said as she set a flask on the table.

Hawke looked at the pink substance curiously. "Am I supposed to know what it is?"

"I don't even know what it is," Isabela said with her mouth full. "It's from Anders for Arielle's latest injuries."

Hawke nodded. "Okay, and this is for me _how_?"

"Because sweet thing, I will use it as an excuse to spend the day with Arielle while you spend the day with Fenris."

Hawke smiled. "I like that plan. I can't believe you've already been to see Anders this morning as well. Just how early did you get up?"

Isabela laughed. "I may have….already been with Anders this morning when I woke up."

The look on Hawke's face was priceless as Isabela watched her expression changed. "I don't think I want to know," Hawke said putting her biscuit down suddenly losing her appetite. Against her better judgment and willpower, she thought about it for a moment. "Really? You and Anders?"

"You missed out with that one," Isabela said taking another bite. "Delicious."

"Anders or the biscuit?" Hawke asked.

The pirate laughed, crumbs falling out of her mouth and into her cleavage. She reached in and removed the crumbs, putting them back in her mouth. "Both," she said licking her fingers.

Hawke shook her head. "Please stop before I become sick." She took a long sip of water and stood up. "Do you want to head over there now? Fenris is always up this early."

Isabela grabbed the flask from the table and smacked Hawke on the ass. "Lead on oh fearless leader."

Hawke frowned as she rubbed her rear and her and Isabela made their way towards the mansion.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris was surprised to see the two rogues so early in the morning, allowing them entrance into the mansion. "Is there trouble?" he asked.

Hawke smiled. "No trouble. I told you that you were mine today, so I wanted to start the day early."

He smiled as he looked from Hawke to Isabela. "And you?"

"Oh sweet thing I couldn't if I wanted to, but thanks for the offer." Isabela walked away from the two of them. "She upstairs?"

Fenris nodded

"Isabela will stay with Arielle today," Hawke explained. "I figured you wouldn't want her to be alone."

"That was…thoughtful of you," Fenris said a bit uneasy at leaving Arielle alone with the pirate. "What do you intend to do?" Fenris asked Isabela.

Hawke laughed and replied for her. "Don't worry, she'll be safe." She took his hand and began pulling him to the door. "Come on, it's beautiful outside."

Fenris didn't want to leave without letting Arielle know he'd be gone all day. "Give me a moment," he asked as he released Hawke's hand and went upstairs.

Hawke looked to Isabela and sighed quietly. "There there sweet thing. You have all day to remind him you exist."

Hawke nodded and watched as Fenris disappeared into Arielle's room. A few moments later they both emerged, Arielle following Fenris down the stairs. Fenris shot a stern look at Isabela. "Do not take her from the mansion," he warned.

She crossed her heart with a finger. "I promise," she said as she smiled at Arielle. "We'll have a wonderful day here in this beautiful palace of yours."

Fenris growled at her sarcasm but Hawke didn't allow the argument to continue. She took his hand again and dragged him to the front door. "Bye guys," she called to Isabela and Arielle as she shut the door.

Isabela opened the door a few minutes later and looked outside. Arielle watched her curiously as she blended into the entranceway, looking to the right and to the left before coming back in. "Arielle, how do you feel about a little adventure?"

Arielle looked at Isabela and took a step back. "We are not supposed to leave the mansion."

Isabela sighed, leaning against the wall. "Fenris did tell you that you were no longer a slave, yes?" Arielle nodded. "_Not_ being a slave means you can do whatever you want. So the question is, do you _want_ to stay in this dingy old mansion all day? Or go outside and enjoy the sun, the water, the wind on your face?" She paused, waiting for Arielle to say something. When she didn't, Isabela continued. "You are_ free;_ it's time you indulge in that."

Arielle thought for a moment. It was the first time she was ever asked what she wanted to do, and she was a bit confused. She didn't want to go against Fenris' wishes, but a smile crept up on her lips when she thought of being outside for a little while.

Isabela took the smile as a good sign. She opened the door and grabbed Arielle's hand and led her out of the mansion.


	10. Deals and Unbroken Promises

The contrast of the two women walking through Kirkwall was noticeable. Isabela, in her low cut shirt, long legs and high boots, walked with her head held high and a smile on her face as the wind brushed her skin. Behind her followed Arielle; long sleeved shirt that revealed nothing but her neck, pants down to her ankles and small flat healed shoes. It was difficult to catch her expression, as the raven haired woman didn't look up as she followed Isabela.

Halfway through Hightown Isabela turned and faced Arielle, resulting in Arielle almost walking into Isabela. When Arielle did finally look up at Isabela as she stood still in the square, she had a curious expression on her face. "Lesson number one of being free," Isabela began. "You do not have to walk behind someone. Walk beside me; head up, shoulders back; be proud."

Arielle shook her head. "I am not used to this," she said honestly.

Isabela took her hand and brought her to a nearby bench. "Look around at all the people here, especially the women. See how they carry themselves?"

Arielle did as instructed, noticing all the different women of the town in their brilliantly colored outfits. None of them looked to the ground as they moved or walked stiffly as she knew she did. They moved with purpose, with pride, with expressions that reflected how they felt. She studied each face as Isabela pointed them out, showing her how "normal" women of society moved within crowds.

"They don't have armor," Arielle observed as she continued to look upon the nobles.

Isabela nodded. "Not many of them here do, no. Hightown is considered the richer part of Kirkwall, everyone here are nobles and of importance. Oddly they need the armor the most, but are cocky enough to think they don't."

"Like Danarius," Arielle compared to what she knew, and Isabela nodded. "They aren't mages though," she pointed out. "How do they protect themselves?"

Isabela smiled at her student. "Most of them aren't concerned during the day. But the paranoid ones, those are easy to spot. See that woman over there?" Isabela pointed to a tall redheaded woman buying silk. "Her protector is right above her on the roof."

Arielle looked up and spotted the archer overlooking the square. As she surveyed the rests of the buildings and alcoves, she pointed out to Isabela other hidden rogues and archers.

"Come on," Isabela said. "Let's move on to where you and I fit in a little better."

They made their way towards Lowtown, Isabela careful to point out to Arielle at all times where they were and how to get back. "It's important you know your way around the city. Even if you won't go venturing out alone again anytime soon, it's good to be aware of your surroundings."

Arielle nodded at the instruction, now walking alongside Isabela as they went down the stairs to Lowtown. Some of it was familiar to Arielle from the previous days adventure, but now she took the time to study where everything was and where they were going. "We're headed towards the docks," she said as they passed the Foundry.

"Too smart for your own good," Isabela smiled proudly at her. "While Lowtown is more Varric's style and Hawke's, the docks are all me," she said with a far away look. "I used to be a pirate you know, captain of my own ship and everything."

"_Used_ to?" Arielle questioned.

Isabela sighed. "Well, still am I guess, just been out of the game a while. Hawke's kept me here for a few years and I haven't had the means to leave," her eyes twinkled slyly. "Until today."

Arielle looked at her curiously. "What happens today?"

"_That_ my dear sweet thing, is where _you_ come in."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke looked up to the sky and enjoyed the sun on her face as her and Fenris walked out of the city. It had been so long since they had any alone time together, and Hawke was already enjoying herself. Fenris walked beside her, quiet as usual, but the way he still held her hand since leaving the mansion made her feel special.

They made their way towards the Wounded Coast, to a small little beach that was about a half mile from the main path. Hawke had discovered this beach one day when chasing a Qunari, and she had since been back here several times enjoying the view.

The beach was hidden by several trees that were in full bloom this time of year. Once you cut through the trees, there was a small stretch of sand that could fit only four people comfortably. The sand trailed off to a cliff that overlooked the water. Besides a few small islands, the water went on forever it seemed, until it kissed the sky in the distance.

On many of her previous trips here, Hawke had brought things to make it a little more comfortable. Fenris watched in fascination as she got on her knees and started digging through the sand. "What are you doing?" he asked as he watched her.

"Provisions," she said with a smile as she dusted off the crate she had buried in the sand. Inside she had a large blanket, several pillows, a few books, two towels, and her fire starting kit.

Fenris shook his head as he helped her remove the items. "You certainly do surprise me Hawke."

She unfolded the blanket and shook it out, laying it flat on the ground. "You really don't think I sit in that stuffy old house all day do you?" She grabbed a few pillows and set them up on top of the blanket near the trees. "I started coming here at least twice a week, and decided it would be easier to keep these things here instead of lugging them back and forth all the time."

"Very practical," Fenris stated. As she moved to retrieve more items from the crate, he gave her a half smile. "Now I know where to find you."

Hawke winked at him as she knelt down. "This is only one of my spots Fenris. I have several around Kirkwall."

He crossed his arms. "Really? You enjoy spending that much time alone?"

She forced a nervous laugh as she covered the box and went to sit down on the blanket. "I spend a lot of time with a lot of people," she began with a sigh. "And even though the estate is without my mother now, there's still Bodhan and Sandal and Orana."

Fenris sat down on the blanket facing her and crossed his legs. He was close enough that his knees touched hers. "So you escape to one of your many spots," he said a bit sarcastically.

Hawke nodded. "It may seem silly, but if it gives me even an hour of peace, I'm much better to be around."

Fenris began to smile to himself. "Remember who you're talking to Hawke. I understand alone time better than most."

She gave him her best flirty laugh. "And now I share one of my spots with you. It's an honor; you should feel special."

"I should huh," he said leaning closer to her.

"Mhmmm," she said as she moved in towards him as well. She closed her eyes in anticipation of his lips on hers, and opened them abruptly when she felt him suddenly move. "Where are you going?" she asked breathlessly as he stood and walked towards the path.

"To get us some lunch. Are you hungry?"

Hawke grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, and she heard him laugh as he disappeared into the trees.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"There's no way to ask him nicely?" Arielle questioned her as Isabela led her to a warehouse on the docks. She took a step back apprehensively. "If he is your friend would he not give it to you?"

Isabela sighed and turned towards the former slave. "Well, maybe _friend_ is too nice a word for our relationship." Isabela removed some papers from her pouch. "I intend to blackmail him more than ask," she explained. "Castillon has wanted me dead for a long time, but he's a reasonable man. I think we can negotiate a deal without you having to do anything. But just in case, I need you to be ready."

Arielle nodded, nervousness threatening to take hold of her. Isabela led her into the warehouse and began whistling, making her presence known loudly to her old rival. Arielle stood next to Isabela and cleared her expression of any emotion.

A tall man approached them head on, wearing full leather gear and two daggers strapped to his back. Behind him were three other men, and Isabela shifted from one leg to another. "Be ready sweet thing," she whispered to Arielle as she walked up to meet Castillon.

"Isabela," Castillon said with a wide grin. "What a pleasure it is to see you, although you should be dead by now. I am impressed with your ability to constantly find allies that are willing to put up with you."

Isabela shrugged. "It's a gift. But if you want to talk, maybe we should talk about these documents," she said showing Castillon the papers she had in her hand. "Slavery in the Free Marches? _Someone_ isn't going to like that."

Castillon's eyes narrowed. "I'd ask where you got those, but since my assistant Velasco has been missing I shall assume his corpse was your source. Get to the point Isabela."

"That's easy," Isabela said smiling. "Give me your ship, and your word to leave me alone, and you can take these papers and go." Isabela turned her back briefly to Castillon. "I saw the ship docked in the harbor, Castillon. She is splendid. I want her."

Castillon began to laugh. "Oh my dear Isabela, you really are a simple woman." He closed the gap between them. "But as you can see, you are a bit outnumbered. Sloppy of you, bringing some simple woman along with you to negotiate. I will take those papers of yours and keep my ship, and you will finally get what's coming to you."

Isabela laughed loudly, the sound echoing in the empty warehouse. "You hear that sweet thing? He just called you a simple woman. Are you going to take that?"

Arielle's expression changed and Castillon took a few steps back as fear overwhelmed him without cause. Suddenly the ground shifted beneath their feet. A rumbling went through the building as dust and debris fell from the ceiling. Behind Isabela and Arielle, four Profanes emerged from the dirt floor, remaining stationary and waiting for command.

"As you can see Castillon," Isabela said confidently, "I am not alone. And my friend here is far from simple."

The men that were standing with Castillon ran as the Profanes began to move forward. Castillon shook his head at what he was seeing, not believing his eyes but feeling terrified at the same time. "_Maker's breath_," he said as he looked at Arielle, her eyes turning as red as the Profanes she summoned. "Is this some kind of blood magic?"

Isabela stood her ground, keeping her poker face of calm even though the Profanes frightened her as well. "What matters is now you are outnumbered, as your 'help' ran like the women they are."

Castillon continued to back away from them slowly, fear pulling at his insides. He glanced at the woman who stood silent next to Isabela, and for a moment he saw nothing but pure evil. "Give me the documents, and you can have the ship," he stuttered as he held his hand out. "You will never hear from me again!"

"Swear it," Isabela said moving towards him, Profanes moving with her.

He nodded, continuing to watch the Profanes progress further towards him, now hovering within arms reach. "I swear it on my mother's grave." Isabela smiled and handed over the documents. "The ship is yours my dear. Be well Isabela." Castillon didn't wait for a reply as he ran towards the opposite exit of the warehouse.

Isabela waited until he was gone and then clapped her hands. "Did you see the look on his face? Priceless! Oh that was so much fun." She turned towards Arielle. "Okay you can put the big bad guys away now."

Arielle closed her eyes, concentrating on dispersing the Profanes, and they returned to the ground as quickly as they came. The amount of energy they demanded to remain still however had drained Arielle of everything, and she fell to the floor as they disappeared.

Isabela shook her head. "Well shit," she said kneeling down to Arielle. Her eyes slowly returned to normal, the red tint to them dissipating. "Are you alright?" Isabela asked as Arielle turned a little pale.

Arielle put her hands on the ground trying to steady herself. She took a moment and closed her eyes, but immediately felt the world spin as she did so. "Just…dizzy," she managed to say attempting to stand unsuccessfully.

Isabela exhaled sharply as she ran through the scenarios in her head of how to get Arielle back to the mansion.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The chill of the afternoon breeze prompted Hawke to start a fire as Fenris returned from his search for food. Much to Hawke's surprise, Fenris had caught a chicken and had already set it on a stick ready for cooking. "Such a skilled hunter," she declared as she grabbed a few long sticks to set his catch on over the fire.

He handed her the chicken and sat on the blanket, triumphant look on his face. "Now cook it, _woman_," he said jokingly but in a serious tone.

Hawke laughed as she began preparing the chicken. "Is that how it's going to be?" she asked looking back at him relaxing in the sun. "I would've thought fish would be an easier catch."

Fenris wrinkled his nose at the thought. "I hate fish," he remarked sternly.

"Ah, I learn something new today," Hawke said finishing her task.

Fenris nodded but said nothing, laying back with his hands behind his head and shutting his eyes. She studied him for a moment, taking in the beauty that is Fenris. His unguarded position led her to move on top of him, settling into his lap and straddling him.

"You are blocking my sun," he said without opening his eyes.

She giggled at his seriousness but leaned forward to kiss him, finally taking what she wanted from him earlier. She pressed her lips to his, her tongue softly invading his mouth. He brought his hand up and buried it in her hair, pulling her close. Their tongues did their familiar dance of discovery and demand, desire and tenderness. She pressed her chest into his as she brought her own hand to his hair, moving her hips ever so slightly over his groin. As their kiss intensified, so did the movements of her lower body on top of him.

Fenris felt the need for her building within. He tried to slow down the intensity of her movements, bringing his hands to her hips and holding her still. She released a soft moan into his mouth, and it took every ounce of self control for Fenris to calm himself from taking her right there.

Instead he moved to sit up, guiding Hawke with him as he moved his hands from her waist to her back. He gave one last nibble to her bottom lip before pulling away.

"Don't stop," Hawke said breathlessly as she leaned in to kiss him again.

Her passionate plunge was met with a quick brush of his lips as he kissed her and shook his head. "We must not do this," he uttered softly. "I wish to honor your request to take it slowly, which is difficult to do when you move like that."

Hawke smiled as she looked into his eyes. "'Don't stop' is me giving you permission to forget my request to take it slowly," she said leaning into him again.

But Fenris stood firm, refusing to give into her temptation. "I have already hurt you once, I do not wish to do it again." She murmured something of a protest as she moved off of his lap and sat next to him. The disappointment was clear in her body language, and Fenris sighed from his own frustration. He turned to look at her. "Have I misunderstood your previous concerns?"

Hawke leaned forward and plucked mindlessly at the fibers of the blanket. "No Fenris, you're right of course. I asked for this." She looked over at him. "But it is difficult to resist you."

Fenris smirked for a split second, but then returned to the seriousness of the conversation. "I only wish to honor the promise I made to you. You told me if we were to attempt a relationship again, that it should progress slowly so we are both certain so no one gets hurt again."

Hawke nodded. "I know. And you're right for reminding me of that and for keeping that promise."

Fenris noticed the hesitation and the implied 'but' with that statement from her. "What's on your mind Hawke?" he queried.

She returned to absently staring at the blanket in front of her, considering whether or not to divulge her concerns to him. Since their return from Minrathous, his attention had been primarily focused on Arielle, and she despised the jealousy that burned within her. It had only been a few days that they were back in the city, and Hawke rationalized with herself that it was only natural and normal that he would not only connect with Arielle, but would want to protect her.

She shifted position so she was facing him now, searching for the best way to express her turmoil without him becoming defensive. He waited patiently as she gathered her thoughts, which somehow made it that more difficult for her to speak. "I need to preface this insecurity by saying it has nothing to do with anything you have done," she began.

Fenris focused his attention on her words and took her hand to help her feel more at ease. "Go on," he encouraged.

Hawke drew in a breath and released it slowly, choosing her words carefully. "I have…concerns," she hesitated. "In regards to Arielle." She swore her heart skipped a bit after the words came out of her mouth.

Whatever negative reaction she was expecting from Fenris however didn't happen, as he prodded her for more. "Tell me of your concerns," he asked.

Feeling a little more free to explain after the outburst she'd imagined didn't happen, Hawke began to give him more. "She's a woman, Fenris."

He nodded. "I have noticed," he said.

Hawke wrinkled her nose at him. "I didn't mean to state the obvious. I meant she's another _woman_. In your life. Living with you even." She opened the flood gates of her thoughts and released them on to him. "She's a former slave, like you. She's marked, like you. Her former master is Danarius, as is yours. She can easily understand the darkest parts of your past that I struggle to sympathize with but never could. She can be there for you in ways I could never be, because she's _been_ there. I can see how easy it would be for you to develop feelings for her. How can I compete with that?"

She let the words settle, relief of saying them replaced by fear of his thoughts. His expression didn't change much, one of the many frustrating things about him, Hawke mused, as the silence filled the air.

Fenris startled her when he stood up, and her stomach knotted as he walked away from her. She turned her head to see where he was going, and laughed at herself when she saw he was only turning the chicken on the fire. He returned a minute later and sat in front of her, shaking his head. "These are your fears?" he asked her, and she nodded without looking at him. "I wasn't aware there was a competition," he said genuinely.

"Only in my head it seems," Hawke responded, feeling a bit foolish.

Fenris caressed her cheek and brought his hand under her chin, lifting her face so she looked at him. "Thank you," he said softly, "for not hiding these feelings from me."

She smiled at him and he leaned in to kiss her. She met his lips with her own, some of her fears subsiding as she felt the passion from his touch. They broke away only to embrace in a hug, something Fenris had never really done with her, and she melted into the crook of his neck with ease.

As much as it felt right though, Hawke couldn't help the lingering doubts she still had. He acknowledged her fears and thanked her for opening up, but never denied having feelings towards Arielle. Hawke let it go for now though, not wanting to ruin the time they finally had together alone with any more talk of Arielle.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"I can not believe you left her behind some empty crates in a filthy warehouse!" Anders scolded Isabela as they returned to the docks. After waiting a few hours with her, it was clear to Isabela that Arielle was not regaining her strength anytime soon. If she had any chance of getting back to the mansion before Hawke and Fenris, she had to leave her and get help.

"I didn't have a choice," she said in her own defense. "I can't carry her, she's a grown woman!"

Anders sighed as he picked up the pace through the docks. "I hope for your sake she's still there, or you may be missing a heart come morning."

"Really Anders," Isabela groaned. "Way to make a girl feel good."

"You didn't mind how I made you feel last night," he countered.

Isabela smiled as she thought about the night and morning they had shared. "Would it be inappropriate of me to call you 'magic fingers' from now on?"

Anders shook his head. "Yes, that's what I need, everyone knowing about _that_."

"What?" she pretended to look hurt. "Are you ashamed of our time together?"

He couldn't help but smile. "If only they all knew what they were missing," he complimented as they entered the warehouse.

"That's more like it," she said leading him to the back room. "Besides, I may have already told Hawke."

He ignored her when he saw Arielle's legs behind one of the crates. They immediately began moving the boxes out of the way to get to her, and once free Anders knelt beside her. "Arielle, can you hear me?"

She stirred slowly, struggling to open her eyes and focus on where she was. She strained to see Isabela standing over her, and turned to see Anders beside her. She was laying on her side, the little sleep she managed having done nothing for the lack of energy within her. Anders slid his arm under her to get her to her feet, and she winced at the pain that shot through her body.

"Be careful of her back," Isabela reprimanded him, since his use of her power yesterday caused the newly formed blisters.

"Did you not give her the salve I made for her?" Anders asked taking Arielle's hands and getting her to her feet.

Isabela shrugged. "It's at the mansion; we didn't have time this morning."

Anders stared angrily at Isabela as he brought Arielle's arm around his neck. "You let her suffer this entire day for your own personal gain?"

Isabela ignored the sudden guilt within her as she brought Arielle's other arm around her neck. "Let's just get her home before we're all dead," she said as they helped Arielle out of the warehouse.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris and Hawke spent the remainder of the afternoon enjoying their meal and resting in the sun. Hawke began reading one of her books to him, and at some point they had drifted off to sleep together. The light fall of rain woke them from their comfortable position, and they hastened to put Hawke's stuff away before it fell too hard.

They ran in the rain back to Kirkwall and through the streets of Hightown, Hawke laughing at how Fenris looked when his hair was all wet. In truth she admired the look and it excited her to see him such a disheveled mess, but his demeanor at being in wet armor proved he wasn't too happy the day had ended as it did.

"I was beginning to think it never rained in Kirkwall," Hawke said as they got to the mansion alcove. She smiled at Fenris as he leaned against the inner wall, looking out into the crowd of people scurry to their homes. The drizzling rain dissipated as quickly as it had come, and Hawke scowled at the thought of mother nature cutting her day short. "It stops now? _Maker_ why do you punish me!"

Fenris snickered at Hawke cursing at the clouds as he entered the mansion, the smile on his face quickly vanishing when he noticed the silence. Hawke saw his body stiffen in front of her. "What is it Fenris?"

He put a finger to his lips to silence her, taking his weapon in his hand and headed for the stairs. Hawke followed his lead staying closely behind him in case there was trouble. Fenris systematically searched each room on the top floor, and then the main, and finally the cellar, and discovered no signs of trouble. He returned his weapon to its proper place on his back as he climbed the stairs to the main floor.

"Where are they Hawke?" he growled angrily.

Hawke took a step back, not appreciating his tone. "I was with _you_ all day Fenris, how should I know?"

"_I interficiam pirata_!" Fenris swung the door open angrily, his markings beginning to glow as the door hit the wall with such force it left a mark.

He didn't have to go far though, as Anders and Isabela approached the mansion with Arielle struggling to walk between them. She appeared pale and wet from the rain, her body shivering from cold and whatever else he was unaware of, and the anger within him grew at seeing her condition.

Hawke immediately got between Fenris and the three, hoping he would calm down as she helped them get into the mansion. "Do_ not_ leave," he demanded of Isabela as he took Arielle from them. She put her arms around his neck as he lifted her and carried her upstairs to her room.

Hawke watched him go up the stairs with her, and once the bedroom door was closed she turned to Isabela, her piercing glare filled with anger. "Isabela, what have you done _now_?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: "I interficiam pirata" - Fenris speak for "I will kill the pirate!"** _


	11. Loathing and Tenderness

It seemed they waited for an eternity. Hawke and Isabela sat on the couch in the living room while Anders paced the walls of the room. The silence upstairs was deafening; even whispers couldn't be heard through the dusty mansion. No pacing, no slamming, no yelling, no crying. It made Hawke uncomfortable, wondering what exactly was taking place upstairs. Was he comforting her? Was she crying on his shoulder? Did they even remember there were people downstairs?

Isabela put her feet up on the dirty coffee table and sighed. "What is taking him so long up there?" she asked no one in particular, verbalizing Hawke's very thought.

Hawke turned and shot her friend a nasty glare. "I would let him take as much time as he needs right now so he doesn't kill you," she said in all seriousness. "And if you're lucky, I won't kill you either."

Isabela put on her best hurt expression. "Why are you going to kill me now?"

Hawke sighed and leaned her head back on the couch, trying to ignore the cobwebs she now noticed on the ceiling of the mansion. "We're supposed to be settling down into our evening together, not dealing with more slave drama."

"Hawke!" Anders exclaimed surprised at her comment.

Hawke shot him an annoyed glare. "What?" she snapped. "She_ is_ a slave, and there _is_ drama." Anders just continued to stare at her with disgust, and she gave another sigh. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just been a really difficult few weeks. I had hoped at least today would go by without any problems." Or that he hadn't pulled away. That he accepted her challenge that they move the relationship forward again. She longed for the moment on the beach and wished it had taken the direction she wanted.

Isabela stood up and dusted her rear. "He can't keep her locked up in here forever," she said in her own defense. "I was showing her around the city, trying to integrate her into society. Teach her a few things."

Hawke closed her eyes. "I don't even want to know what you were trying to teach her," she said exasperated. Then she remembered the morning conversation. Her head shot up off the couch and looked at Anders across the room. "And I hear you taught Isabela quite a few things last night."

Anders face suddenly matched the color of the red gem in his staff as he blushed, stealing a glance at Isabela who was smiling widely. She shrugged. "What? I told you I may have told her," she said trying to defend herself.

He pleaded to Hawke with his eyes. "Please, no further than this room. I don't need Varric writing about this in his next book."

Hawke laughed. "I think it's too good to keep to myself," she teased. And why shouldn't she tell everyone, especially after her so-called friend ruined her day and possibly delayed her bedding Fenris for at least another week. "Besides, I'm curious to see what details Varric makes up compared to the truth. I don't suppose you'll share that truth with me, will you?"

"Mmmm," Isabela cooed. "Magic fingers..."

Hawke stifled a laugh as Anders shut his eyes in embarrassment. "We're all friends here Anders, you can share."

The light mood quickly ended when they heard the door upstairs close followed by the bare footsteps on the stairs. Isabela unconsciously repositioned herself near Anders as Hawke turned her body around to look at the entrance to the living room. She felt her own heartbeat increase, and knew Isabela's was probably going just as hard. Hawke braced herself, hoping this wouldn't turn to bloodshed.

Fenris entered the room and laid his eyes on Isabela for a moment, anger still very much present, but surprised them when he asked to speak with Anders. "May I have a moment of your time?" he had asked politely, stunning the women in the room.

Anders nodded and moved forward to follow Fenris into the foyer. Isabela exhaled heavily, wanting the berating to be over with so she could go check out her new ship, and Hawke echoed her sentiment with her own exhale, wanting to try move on from this and salvage the evening with Fenris.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Is she alright?" Anders asked while he continued to follow the elf into the kitchen.

He didn't look at the mage as he was spoken to. Instead Fenris looked elsewhere, anywhere, but at Anders. "She is not well," Fenris finally said. He built up the strength to ask the abomination for a favor. "I wonder if you might," he paused, the words almost painful to say, "explain to me what I can do for her."

Anders nodded, pushing aside their differences for the sake of Arielle. "Of course." He stopped himself from saying how magic would be best, knowing magic couldn't be used on her and the mere mention of it would end this rare civil conversation. "The salve I gave Isabela this morning, that will help the blisters she received yesterday and aggravated today." He pulled out a pouch from one of the pockets of his robe and extended it to Fenris, which he accepted. "Cook these herbs into a tea for her; it will let her sleep. Even though she is exhausted, I have the feeling she hasn't had a good nights rest in a long time."

Fenris nodded.

"The salve will also numb her," Anders explained. "She'll be able to lay down without pain. I can not say for certain if she'll have a reaction to it at first; we know very little about…" he trailed off, not certain how to speak of her markings without offending Fenris.

The equally tattooed elf understood and didn't hold it against the mage. "True." And finally he looked at Anders in the eye. "Thank you," he managed, more easily than he expected.

Anders bowed his head to his enemy and made his way back towards the living room, praying to the Maker that Fenris' mood remained civil.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Arielle lay in her bed unable to move. Each time she attempted to sit up to alleviate the pain in her arm and leg from laying on her side, she found she lacked the energy to do so. She ignored the pain when Fenris had carried her upstairs, and realized now it had been a mistake to do so. She knew he would've stayed, would've helped her, would've remained had she asked him. She was beginning to learn that she could not only project emotion, but feel it as well.

With what little energy she had left she shut her eyes and attempted to explore the emotions of the others in the mansion. She now felt the anger from Fenris building, and wondered if she felt him more strongly because of his markings. The others were harder to get a reading on as she strained herself further. She almost felt as if at full strength she could probably do it with ease, and made a mental note to try it once she rested. Her eyes were heavy and all she wanted to do was sleep, but the stinging pain wouldn't allow for any rest. She shifted yet again and hoped that Fenris would return soon.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris had followed behind Anders and returned to the living room, and his eyes were now fixated on Isabela once again. He stood there for several seconds watching her shift uncomfortably in the corner of the room. He put his hands on the back of the couch and dug his fingers into the cushion as if he needed to direct his anger somewhere. Hawke wanted to reach out and place a hand upon his, but once she saw the indentations in the furniture, she thought better of it.

The silence in the room was almost too much. Hawke tried to think of something to break the tension, but Fenris finally spoke. "You will tell me _exactly_ what happened," he demanded of Isabela. Hawke noticed he hadn't blinked for the entire time he was looking at her.

Isabela's shoulders dropped, obviously prepared to tell the truth but knew everyone in the room would be upset with her. "I brought her to the docks," Isabela began. "I had a meeting," she hesitated to continue. When she looked up at Fenris and saw his furrowed brows and clenched jaw, she exhaled and put it out there. "With Castillon."

Hawke couldn't hide her surprise with her mouth wide open, and Anders closed his eyes and shook his head. Hawke could feel Fenris' grip on the couch tighten, and she wondered just how long the wood would hold. "Go on," he said through gritted teeth, waiting for the details of why Arielle was in the condition she is now.

Isabela shifted her weight and explained the rest. "I went there to negotiate, traded some information for his ship. For added protection I brought Arielle along, and when it looked like he wasn't believing that I was serious, I had Arielle threaten him."

Hawke knew she shouldn't have, but asked for further details. "What did you have her do?"

Isabela shook her head and sighed. "I had her summon her friends, and I may have had her do that little projection of fear thing she does. There, that's all that happened. Satisfied?"

The attitude at the end of the explanation didn't sit well with Hawke, and apparently Fenris didn't appreciate it either. Hawke could feel the anger boiling within him, and sudden soft blue glow in the room revealed his feelings through his markings. "So you used her as a weapon to gain the advantage?"

The statement put her to shame, and Isabela suddenly felt guilty. "No! Well, when you say it like that it's as if…" she tried.

He cut her off. "You are no better than Danarius," he spat, the wood of the couch finally snapping beneath his grip. His upper arms were shaking and his self control was barely holding. "Get out," Fenris demanded of the pirate.

Isabela fled from the room without uttering another word. Anders looked at Hawke who was clearly not going to say anything, and slowly made his way out of the mansion as well to follow Isabela.

Fenris held on to the back of the couch long after Isabela and Anders departed. Hawke said nothing, allowing Fenris to calm his anger a bit and his markings to lose their glow. She kept her eyes on him, being there for him in her silent way, until finally he released a breath that seemed to calm him. He shut his eyes and shook his head as if to brush off the negative feelings within him. He turned his head and looked at Hawke. "I apologize."

Hawke backed him up immediately. "Do not apologize Fenris. Isabela deserved a scolding and more if you ask me."

He managed a half smile at her conviction. "I am trying to learn to control my temper."

Hawke laughed. "A fine job you're doing. Though you may need a new couch," she said attempting to throw humor at the uncomfortable situation.

Fenris nodded in agreement. "I apologize that our day was interrupted," he clarified for her.

"It's not over yet," Hawke said standing up. "Let me help you with Arielle, and then we can finish our day together."

His eyes widened slightly at her offer. "You would help me then? Even after what you told me earlier?"

"What, that I'm the jealous type?" Hawke grabbed the healing salve from the table where Isabela had left it that morning. "That is _why_ I would help. I don't need you rubbing this all over her."

A small laugh came from Fenris as he made his way towards the kitchen. "Anders gave me something for her to drink that will help her sleep. I will prepare it while you assist her."

Hawke went up the stairs and gently knocked on the door before entering. Arielle seemed to be drifting in and out of sleep and it took her a few moments to notice Hawke had entered the room. "I hear you had a busy day," Hawke said as she approached the woman.

Arielle didn't acknowledge the question as she wondered why Hawke was there, until Hawke shook the salve in front of her. "Come on," Hawke said helping her to sit up. "This is supposed to take care of any pain you may have."

Arielle was grateful for the pending relief, and managed to thank Hawke in a whisper. No further words were spoken between Hawke and Arielle as she applied the salve to her skin. It seemed Arielle was too tired to even speak, eyes half open and not paying much attention to what was going on around her. As this was the second time Hawke had to tend to the woman's markings, she was a bit more at ease with it. They were still difficult to look at as she imagined Fenris too once dealt with this kind of pain, but she put it out of her mind for now.

Once Hawke was finished she helped Arielle into a large loose shirt to sleep in, and Arielle actually smiled when she realized she wasn't feeling any pain for the first time ever.

Fenris joined them shortly after, assisting Arielle in drinking all of the tea he had prepared for her. "This will help you sleep," he explained to her as he held the back of her head and lifted the cup to her lips. Arielle smiled at him as he helped her lay back down. "Are you feeling any pain?"

"No," she whispered, a content expression on her face. As Fenris took a blanket and gently draped it over her, Arielle was already out for the night.

Hawke watched from the corner of the room as Fenris handled her with a kindness she thought was only reserved for her. Guilt and jealousy crept up on her again but she tried to remember all the logical reasons he'd be nice to her. She brushed aside those feelings and formed a plan of her own to help conquer her fears once and for all.

Fenris walked away from the bed quietly and escorted Hawke out of Arielle's room, silently shutting the door behind them. When Fenris began head towards the stairs, Hawke grabbed his hand and stopped him. Instead of whatever he had planned, she pulled him towards his bedroom.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"He won't stay angry for long," Anders said trying to calm Isabela. "Give him a day or two, apologize, and all will be forgiven."

Isabela was over it, in her mind anyway, and continued to walk to the Hanged Man for a much needed drink. "I don't care if he never talks to me again. I will be leaving this city soon anyway and it won't matter." _I will be free on my ship_, she thought, _with my new crew setting sail for wherever I wish_.

Anders kept up the pace beside her. "So that's it then? Got the ship and now you're leaving?"

Isabela sighed, hoping Anders wasn't becoming the clingy type because of their one night together. "I was shipwrecked in this stupid town remember? Now I have what I came here with, and I can leave."

"You've also gained friends Isabela," he argued. "Is it so easy for you to cast them aside as well?"

"I am casting no one aside," she huffed back. "I am moving on with my life. I have never been in one place for this long. My life is on the sea, surrounded by water. I am a pirate, remember?"

Anders shrugged. "I had always thought when it came to Hawke's companions we would never leave."

"And that's the problem sweet thing," Isabela pointed out. "'Hawke's companions'. I don't know about you, but I don't remember agreeing to follow her for the rest of her life. She helped me, I helped her. I think we're done."

Anders had to laugh. "How interesting you think you are even. She saved your ass from the Qunari. No small feat even for her. Then when she asks for your help in return in Tevinter you go and steal a slave! Now you've used that same slave for personal gain, and you consider yourself even?"

Isabela turned angrily towards Anders. "That's right, I'm the big screw up. As I said I will leave and stop causing problems for people. And stop following me," she demanded as she walked away from him.

Anders shook his head and sighed, not really sure what had just happened. He changed direction and walked towards Darktown, coming to the realization that he would never understand women.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke didn't wait for Fenris to argue with her. She shut the door to his bedroom and forced him against it, pressing her lips to his. Self control lingered within him as he returned her heated kiss, intertwining his tongue with hers and exploring her mouth. Locked in their dance of passion he brought a hand through her hair, teasing lips with his teeth and inhaling the scent of her.

She brought her arms around his back refusing to let him break away, slowly walking backwards towards his bed. Hawke worked her mouth in ways she never had before, wanting him to want her, needing him to take her. As she made the bold attempt to lift his shirt and remove it, her efforts were met with resistance when he pulled away out of breath.

"Hawke," he uttered in his low lost in desire voice. "You are making this very difficult."

"That's the idea," she purred as she leaned in and began nibbling on his ear. The moan that escaped his lips was her reward as she worked the length of it, subtlety breathing into it so his skin would react as she knew it would. He allowed her to pull him down to the bed, but sat up as she lay there so she couldn't tease him anymore.

"Earlier you said we were right to wait," he reminded her.

"Earlier I said to forget that promise," she countered.

He ran a finger down her cheek and along her neck, eyes fixated on her and unable to look away. "I want nothing more than to do this again with you," he admitted.

Hawke propped herself up on her elbows. "I see no reason we can't move forward Fenris. It's time, it's_ been_ time."

He finally looked away though his hand didn't leave her skin. "It's not only my promise to you," he explained.

Now she sat up completely to be level with him. "What else is there?" she asked softly, bringing her hand to his chin and forcing him to see her sincerity.

He thought for a moment before answering. "You were honest with me earlier about your fears, I suppose it is only fair I do the same." She said nothing, giving him the time he needed to continue. "The last time you and I…you know I began to remember, my life before. They were only flashes, but it was the overwhelming feeling of memories flooding back that forced me to walk away from you."

Hawke nodded, accepting the honesty and seriousness with which he was taking this. "You are afraid you'll remember again," she said for him.

"Yes," he disclosed. "Afraid and yet hopeful; two emotions battling each other."

Hawke licked her lip slowly, trying to calm the desire pulsing through her. "If you did remember more..." she hesitated, not sure how to phrase the question she needed him to answer. Not even sure it was fair to ask.

Fenris lifted a hand and ran it through her hair, leaning forward to initiate the kiss this time. His lips barely brushed hers before he pulled away again, his hand running down the length of her face and tilting her chin up until her eyes were level with his again. "What, Hawke?" he encouraged.

She closed her eyes, embarrassed to feel the tears threatening to fall. "I don't want to lose you again," she whispered. "Not to Arielle, not to your memories, not to anything. I don't think I could bear that."

"Look at me," Fenris said softly, and waited a few moments before insisting. "Hawke." She opened her eyes, and felt her insecurities begin to fade at the affection in his gaze. The look he'd given Arielle earlier, the soft look she'd thought to be hers alone, it didn't hold a candle to the sheer desire and passion she saw in his eyes now.

"I know how important getting your memory back is to you," Hawke said, looking away to try and contain herself from kissing him again. "If... if you start to remember we can stop, before it becomes too much. I don't mean to rush you. I just... I want you."

"And I you," Fenris agreed, and pulled her towards him to once more press his lips to hers.


	12. Body and Mind Collide

His mouth was upon hers again, her soft lips warm and inviting. He teased the entrance of her mouth with his tongue, invading when she opened up for him. He ran his tongue along hers, slowly, effortlessly, broad strokes of passion and desire, and she met his rhythm with her own. Only pulling away to gently bite at her lower lip, they remained tasting each other until the heat began to build within them both.

Fenris removed his shirt before laying her on her back, bringing her down gently and finishing the move by running his hand through her hair. Her hands ran up and down his now bare chest, taking in the warmth of his skin. He held himself there for several minutes, allowing Hawke to touch him as if recognizing her need to do so. He supported himself with one arm as he allowed his other hand to move under her shirt, running his fingers across her stomach. She smiled at the sensation, his light touch tickling her.

Hawke brought her arms up around his neck and pulled him down to her. While she moved her face to kiss him, he had other plans, burying his mouth on her neck. His tongue moved in small circles under her ear, and then his teeth caught her earlobe and bit down gently. In that moment Hawke moved her hand to cover the bulge between his legs and gave him a soft squeeze. Fenris released a soft moan in her ear that caused the hair on her arms to rise. He moved past her mouth to the other side of her neck, repeating his actions with slightly more force, leaving a mark where his teeth met her flesh.

She ran her hands along his back as his mouth claimed hers again, briefly, before he sat up on top of her and pulled her up by her shoulders. Fenris removed her shirt with ease and ran his fingers along the sides of her torso. Again the softness of his touch made her shiver, his slow caress causing heat to rise between her legs. When he brought his hands to her breasts and found her nipples, she tilted her head back and a moan escaped her lips as he squeezed their peaks between his thumb and finger.

Hawke grabbed him by the neck and pulled him down again into a heated kiss, wrapping her legs now around his back and pushing herself up towards him. Though both were still clothed from the waist down, they moved their hips in sync, need and desire building within them. It only took a few thrusts between them before the need for each other overwhelmed them, and they broke away briefly to remove the remaining barriers.

One hand between her legs, massaging her heated core, and Fenris knew she was more than ready for him. His knees pushed hers further apart as his thighs settled between hers. Hawke could feel him against her, large and thick and hot, pushing his way slowly into her body. He was bigger than she had remembered, filling her completely as he invaded, and he pressed tightly into her as he slowly began to settle his weight over her. The feel of him inside her was beyond pleasure or desire, beyond her previous and only experience with him. He tilted her hips to accommodate the length and size of him as he slowly stretched her and she adjusted.

_A memory flashed in his mind; a picture of another time that he was immediately lost in. The dark grey room changed to a brightness of golds and reds. The woman below him wasn't as muscular, her hair much darker and slightly shorter, but the feel of her was very familiar. As he continued to thrust forward inside her he leaned down to taste her lips; a hint of Tevinter wine teasing his senses. The feel of the bed beneath him was soft on his skin, and he had a feeling he had been in this position several times before. As he brought a hand up to her cheek, she turned to kiss his palm lovingly, and then closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against him. He noticed his hand was softer, not rough from years of fighting, and he could actually feel her soft lips on his palm. The sudden realization that there were no lyrium markings on his arm and hand caused him to snap out of the memory; it faded as quickly as it came._

"Fenris?" Hawke noticed a brief change in his expression, and stopped moving beneath him. He looked down at her and kissed her, bringing a hand to her face. When he pulled away from her lips, she turned her head and kissed his palm, just as the woman in the memory had done. A brief recollection hit Fenris, but he moved past it assuming it was some form of déjà vu. He smiled at Hawke to reassure her he was fine, and settled his mouth over hers again. She pushed his odd expression out of her mind, giving over to the pleasure building in her inner core.

Hawke was far too tight, and Fenris' groin burned with an overwhelming urgent need. He moved, plunging forward, burying himself deep beyond her body's initial resistance. Long hard deliberate strokes shook them both as she lifted her hips to meet him, picking up the rhythm as he drove harder and faster. Her breasts rocked with each hard thrust, drawing his attention to them so that several times he had to dip his head down to lap at her nipples. He was rewarded with her muscles clenching down even tighter, waves of warm liquid flowing around him. Her sheath was fiery hot, so tight he could barely breathe with the intensity of his pleasure combined with hers. As a loud gasp and moan left her lips, another flash of memory came into view.

"_Do not wake the house," he heard his own voice say. The woman below him pouted teasingly, sticking her plump lower lip out at him. He bent down to take her lip between his teeth, growling and teasing her as he buried himself deep within her. Her head fell back exposing her neck as she breathed in sharply, his thrusts hitting her in places he had never been before. He kissed her chin, her neck, between her breasts, and then took a soft nipple in his mouth, her body reacting around him. _

"_How long until we can be like this again?" the woman beneath him asked breathlessly. _

_He slowed down his motions between her legs, taking a moment to look into her eyes. "Too long," came his low velvet response. His pace increased once more and he felt her grip on his back. As she ran her fingers up and down his spine, he was again hit with the realization that he could feel her touch all over his skin; there were no markings to break up the sensation._

Hawke ran her hands down his back, the feel of his movements inside her overwhelming. His eyes were closed now, lost in his own pleasure she assumed, and she closed her own eyes to embrace the sensation. The excitement of this moment, the anticipation of them being together again, it had been almost unbearable for the both of them. He continued to swell inside her, pushing her limits with their friction and combined frenzy for each other. His hips drove harder, plunged deeper, until he felt her clutch down around him so hard he almost felt pain. The sensation of her climax pushed him over his own boundary, and he poured himself into her. The release of liquids between them felt warm and inviting as he continued softer, gentler thrusts to ride out their combined orgasms.

Fenris lay on top of her, pinning her to the bed with his larger stronger form, his arms tightly around her. Their hearts were pounding together, almost in sync, and her body continued to ripple around his, still tightly gripping him within her. He moved a thick mass of her hair from her shoulder, baring her skin and breast to his gaze. He lowered his weight more fully, burying his face in the soft column of her throat and taking in the scent of their combined love.

He cupped her breast in his palm possessively, his breath hot on her skin. They were locked together, beads of sweat and heat between them, and he remained within her. He nuzzled her neck, his lips feathering over her skin, nipping at the same sensitive spot as earlier.

Hawke circled his neck with her arms, her body still alive with aftershocks. When he moved his position to lay beside her, she could feel her muscles clenching and unclenching, making her gasp each time with renewed pleasure. She drifted into the warmth of him, the complete harmony between them, and held him inside her with the remaining strength she had left. She held him close to her, embracing the feel of his masculine body against the softness of hers.

As they both lay on their sides, facing each other and still connected, Hawke took a moment to study his face. He looked at her with devotion, with love, tenderness in his eyes that made her heart melt. He lifted a hand to her forehead, removing stray pieces of hair that planted themselves there, and she closed her eyes under his touch. He brought his other arm beneath her neck for her to rest her head on, and she curled into him. He held her in an embrace as they both drifted to sleep, naked and connected in every way.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

_She was crying and he could do nothing to comfort her. In the years they had been together they were always so careful, so cautious, that it seemed an impossibility they'd get caught. Yet here they were, her pleading for his life, he on his knees staring at the stone floor. He wanted to run to her, embrace her, assure her that everything would be alright, but he couldn't move. The chains that bound his ankles and wrists behind him wouldn't allow for him to ever touch her again. The very thought broke his heart, and he felt a lump in his throat as he swallowed his own tears._

_His head jerked up when he heard the slap, the tall man looming above her striking her hard across the face. A large gash in her cheek began to bleed, the result of his ring meeting her flesh. Blood and tears now fell but she became silent, knowing all too well her sobbing would only get her into more trouble. She turned to run but was immediately grabbed by two of the mans guards. She struggled under their grasps to no avail, and she looked towards her lover. _

_Nothing could be done to help her though. And as she was taken from the room her screams could be heard down the hall. He fought against the chains that bound him, metal digging into flesh as he tried to free himself. He cared little for the pain he felt as he struggled, desperate need to get to her overwhelming him. When her screams could no longer be heard, he yelled her name and released his own cry of fear before darkness fell upon him._

Fenris jerked upright in bed, the nightmare still gripping at his soul. His heart was pounding in his chest, sweat covering his entire back. He looked back to see Hawke still sound asleep, curled up in a ball where his chest had been. He gently got out of bed so as not to disturb her slumber, and put on his pants before exiting the room.

He opened the door to Arielle's room, and she too was sound asleep. The moonlight kissed her face as he moved in closer to check on her. Her breathing was calm, her eyes dancing beneath their lids, and Fenris sighed as he took a moment to try and calm himself from his dream. The images lingered in the back of his mind, and he struggled to hold on to them so he wouldn't forget.

As he replayed the dream over and over again, trying to memorize every detail for later, his eyes focused on Arielle. He leaned over her and adjusted the blanket, ensuring that she was warm in the chill of the night. Unconsciously, he brought his hand to her face and pushed back a few strands of hair that had fallen onto her eyes. The odd feeling of being here before, doing this before to her, came over him. And as he did so, and for the first time since she was in his company, Fenris noticed the small scar under her right eye.


	13. Faith in the Maker

Hawke took in the sight of him as he entered the room. Black leggings hugged the muscles in his legs. His bare chest glistened in the moonlight, the sweat and lyrium reflecting the radiance from the sky outside. As he walked towards the bed closer to her, she could hear the soft footsteps from his bare feet on the stone floor. She propped herself up on an elbow and smiled at him. "You're still here."

Fenris reached the bed and sat on the edge, curling one leg under him, and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "I am," he said admiring her disheveled look, only a blanket covering her naked body.

She sat up pulling the blanket to cover herself and reached for his hand. "Are you alright? I was concerned when I woke and you were gone."

Fenris nodded as he continued to look into her eyes. "You feared I'd left," he stated after seeing the relief in her expression when he entered the room. "Understandably so."

Hawke looked down, embarrassed that he had been able to pick up on her fears. He cupped her chin with his hand and lifted her face, leaned in and gently brushed her lips with his own. "I'm sorry for doubting you," she whispered when he pulled away.

"Do not apologize," he commanded a little more harshly than he intended. "I have given you no reason to expect otherwise. I imagine it will take some time before that changes."

Hawke nodded honestly but leaned in to kiss him again. He responded gently as she wrapped her arms around his neck, the blanket falling and no longer covering her chest. "Perhaps we should do it all over again to build up that trust," she said teasing him in between smooth sweeps of her tongue on his lips.

A low growl escaped Fenris' lips as she taunted him, but he brought his hands up to her arms and pushed her away from him. "I would wish for nothing more," he began. "But there is something I must do."

Hawke pouted, laying back down in bed with a thump as her insides were trying to cool down. "It's the middle of the night, what could you possibly do that's more important?"

Fenris shook his head at her. "It's almost morning Hawke," he said leaning over her and kissing her forehead. "I won't be long."

She rolled on to her side and exhaled purposefully. "Will you take advantage of me when you return?" she asked playfully.

"No," he replied as he stood up. She scrunched her face in annoyance as he put a shirt on and began fastening his armor. "There is still a lingering agreement to take this slowly Hawke," he reminded her as he grabbed his sword. "I have not forgotten that."

Hawke rolled onto her back and released another frustrated sigh. "Fine," she conceded. "But you owe me breakfast for this torment."

Fenris couldn't stifle the laugh at her stubbornness. "Fair enough," he said leaning down to claim her mouth once more. She pulled him closer with her arms around him, ignoring the stabbing of his armor into her skin. He softened a bit under the feel of her tongue on his and debated for several seconds remaining to have her again, but knew that one of them had to be stronger than the other. He pulled away to see her disappointed glare once more. "Get some sleep. I will return soon."

"Where are you going anyway?" she asked as she brought the covers up to her neck and settled in for a nap.

"The Chantry," he said as he left the bedroom, missing the shocked expression on her face.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Isabela wandered the massive ship for hours, checking each room and pushing on each board, searching for flaws or things that may need tending to should she decide to leave Kirkwall. The Captains quarters were nice enough but it was clear many men had stayed there. She was already planning in her head to pick up some fine Orlesian silks to remake the bed and add some femininity to the place. She didn't want to seem soft to whatever men she would hire, but she knew this room above all others should be comfortable.

She was satisfied with the provisions left on board, plenty of dry goods and liquor for whatever voyage she had planned. The ship seemed to take to its new owner, swaying gently in the waves and rocking Isabela with that all too familiar feeling of adventure. It had been years since she had a ship to call her own, and this one was calling itself home.

The wind was picking up slightly as Isabela made her way to the deck. She leaned over the rail to take a look at the outside of the vessel, and strategically showed her cleavage to several of the dock workers that had begun staring at her. With a wink in their general direction she turned to walk to the other side, swaying her hips with intent knowing she now had an audience. Another point of sticking her rear out provocatively as she leaned over the port-side rail, now enjoying the whistling from below.

As she looked up from her position she could see a ship coming into Kirkwall. Obvious to her it wasn't a vessel from these parts, she went towards her scope to get a better look. The vessel itself was old, worn, and in need of some serious attention. There was a crowd of people making their way towards the front, watching the city come into view. Isabela took a step back when she noticed the flag on the ships mast; she hailed from Qarinus.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Fenris, this is a surprise," Sebastian greeted the elf as he walked into the Chantry. "Come to make another one of your deliveries?"

Fenris stood awkwardly in front of the Prince of Starkhaven, suddenly wondering if his decision to come to archer was a bad one. He had wanted to confide in someone, and Sebastian being the most neutral of the companions, it was the logical choice at the time. But now in the Chantry, symbols of the Maker and Andraste looming over him, the desire to run almost consumed him.

Sebastian noticed his uneasiness and tried to calm his friend. "Are you alright Fenris? You seem a bit troubled at the moment."

Fenris took in a breath of courage as he replied. "May we speak privately?"

"Of course," the man in white armor stated, leading Fenris up the stairs to one of the private confession rooms. Fenris never noticed the rooms before, but imagined they were designed for believers to spill their sins and ask for forgiveness.

He however was here on a different matter. "You once offered to hear my confession," Fenris began. "Is this where something like that takes place?"

Sebastian remained calm, holding his surprise. "You wish to share your confession with me? I am always willing to relieve a troubled souls burdens."

Fenris shook his head. "No. Burden perhaps, but not confession." While Sebastian settled into a large chair before a lit fireplace, Fenris chose to stand, back turned to Sebastian as if not seeing him would make this easier. "I have need to discuss something that must remain….between us," he asked.

Sebastian assured him, "anything you say will not leave this room Fenris." The questions that came to his mind he held at bay, knowing it took a great deal for the former slave to come here in the first place. He didn't want to scare him away by interrogating him, so he allowed Fenris to set his own pace with the conversation.

"How much do you know," Fenris asked without adjusting his position, "of my past, beyond what I've told you?"

Sebastian sat back and thought about it for a moment. "Not much I'm afraid. It's a sensitive topic for you as well as your companions. They do not speak of it."

"Hmm," Fenris muddled as he looked down at the flames dancing near his feet. "And what do you recall that I have spoken of?"

"We have discussed your lack of memory before your markings, your enslavement to Danarius. I was there when you," he paused, searching for the easiest way to say it, "_spoke_ to Hadriana about your sister before her death. All of our other conversations were about the magisters and the Maker." As Sebastian realized he knew very little, he apologized. "It seems you and I have never had a lengthy discussion. This may already be the longest."

Fenris grunted in agreement. "I imagine this will be." He finally changed position and took a seat next to Sebastian, still averting his eyes from the brothers own. "You are aware we went to Minrathous to find Danarius," he asked.

Sebastian nodded. "Yes. Hawke asked me to keep an eye on the estate and her servants while she was gone. I was only aware of your return when Bodahn told me. Did you find Danarius?"

"No," Fenris said angrily at admitting the failure. "Though the trip was not a complete waste. Isabela managed to kidnap a slave of Danarius, one branded with lyrium as I am."

Sebastian couldn't stifle the gasp that escaped his lips. "Did you bring him here?"

"_Her_," Fenris corrected. "And yes, she is currently at the mansion."

"Surely Danarius will look for her," Sebastian stated the fact.

"More than likely," Fenris agreed. He leaned forward in the chair, settling his elbows on his knees as he gazed into the fire once more. "Are you aware of the reason Hawke and I ended our relationship three years ago?"

The question brought an uneasiness to the air as Sebastian searched for a way to answer. He had known the answer, at least Hawke's version, since Hawke confided in him over the years the feelings she had about the matter. He couldn't break her confidence, but he felt the answer was important to Fenris' internal struggle, so he remained as indifferent as possible. "I would prefer to hear it from you than believe the speculation of others," Sebastian pitched to the elf.

The tension in Fenris was obvious, his body language speaking volumes as he began to relive that difficult night. "We were…intimate," Fenris began feeling a bit uncomfortable at the topic. "During which I began to have flashes, memories of my life before these markings," he explained looking at his hands riddled with lines of lyrium. "It was gone as quickly as it came, but it was too much, too fast. I left her after that night, and for three years have stayed away from her."

"In an intimate capacity," Sebastian clarified, getting a nod of confirmation from Fenris. "You could recall nothing?"

"No," Fenris sighed. "But to know it was there, somewhere still inside me, I suppose it frightened me."

Sebastian felt his insides begin to hurt for this man. The strong warrior he always stood behind was breaking down in front of him. Sebastian silently prayed to the Maker to guide him through this conversation in a way that would somehow benefit the former slave.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Isabela watched the passengers disembark from the ship with curious interest. She stood mostly out of sight in her shadowed position by the stairs leading to the ships ramp. Only a handful of the passengers came on to the docks and she searched for anyone she may recognize. A ship from Qarinus would naturally stop in Rivain and Antiva, so the possibility of old friends or even enemies being aboard was likely.

Fixated on the crowd before her, she hadn't paid much attention to the comings and goings behind her, until a familiar voice disturbed her concentration. "What are you doing Isabela?"

"Hello big girl," Isabela said to Aveline without turning to look at her. "As you can see, I'm not _doing_ anything."

"For the moment," Aveline scoffed as she moved up to stand next to the pirate. "Searching for your next conquest?"

Isabela laughed at Aveline attempting to hurt her feelings. "Please, I don't need to search. The better question is why are _you_ here. The docks are no place for the Guard Captain."

"As such _all _areas are considered my place," Aveline retorted. "But I'm not here on an official capacity."

"_Ooo_," Isabela cooed. "Personal then? I am intrigued you have a life outside of the box you call your office."

"Shut it whore," Aveline replied as she watched the passengers come up the stairs.

Isabela watched the Captain as she stared at the see of faces that passed in front of them. A few men and women strode off with purpose, obviously having been to the city before. Some of the other passengers stopped to ask the guards for directions, and after they scurried away from the docks. Aveline left Isabela to ask the guards where one of the passengers sought directions to.

"Stay out of trouble Isabela," Aveline called to the pirate as she followed the ships passengers into Lowtown.

Curiosity got the better of her though, and as soon as Aveline was out of site Isabela followed in the shadows behind.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Fear is a natural response Fenris," Sebastian attempted to comfort his friend. "After years of not knowing, it must've come as a great shock, even if for a moment."

"Yes," Fenris acknowledged. "Yet I had nothing since, until last night."

"What happened last night?" Sebastian asked before thinking. A glance from Fenris gave him his answer. "_Ah_," he said understanding. "And it happened again, those flashes of memories?"

"At first," Fenris began. "During…" he failed to find an appropriate way to say it, so he didn't, "I had images of a time before my markings, where I was…engaged in the same act. A different woman, a different room, but it was familiar. As if I had been with her several times before."

Sebastian remained silent, allowing Fenris time to continue.

"I wasn't certain what it meant, and had forgotten about it until we fell asleep. Then the dream came."

"You dreamt about this other woman," Sebastian guessed.

Fenris responded with a sigh, bringing his hands to his face and rubbing his eyes that were now burning from staring into the fire. "I could not tell if it were simply a dream or a memory, but the woman was there. From what I could gather our relationship was forbidden by someone, I couldn't make out who. I was chained to a wall and she was dragged away by guards, screaming for me to save her." His silence fell hard as he felt the emotion of himself in the dream, forcing unshed tears to remain hidden.

"Do you think it was a memory?" Sebastian asked softly after some time.

"I didn't know what to think at first," Fenris admitted. "It felt real enough to be a memory, but I had never remembered anything from my past. Even after the first time with Hawke I did not dream anything new, why should this time be any different?"

Sebastian thought on his words. "You said at first you didn't know what to think. Something makes you believe it is more than a dream?"

Fenris leaned back, a little more relaxed that the weight of the tale was behind him. "Before this woman was dragged away, the man who held us lashed out at her, striking her across the face. I recall the wound; its depth and how it bled. I had focused on it intently before she was taken away, for reasons I wasn't certain of at the time." He closed his eyes, replaying it again in his mind, desperate to hold on to the images. "The slave at the mansion, she has a scar in that exact location."

Sebastian was obviously taken aback by the revelation. He knew Fenris was waiting for a verbal response, but he wasn't quite certain what to say. He was clearly in a fragile state over this; regaining memories and the possibility of connecting with someone from his past. Yet Sebastian felt it was his duty to make sure Fenris didn't jump to conclusions out of desperation "I suppose there are two possibilities," he began exploring. "By chance it may simply have been a dream. Your subconscious took her scar and interpreted it into your dream as something you desire within yourself; a piece of your past and a connection to someone you knew before."

Fenris hadn't considered this possibility, but did so now as Sebastian continued.

"The other potential truth? The events are real. They are from your past. Perhaps the Maker has brought this woman back to you so you can regain that which was stolen from you."

Fenris had an easier time believing it was simply a dream rather than some divine intervention, and told Sebastian such. "I'm certain the Maker has better things to do than concern Himself with what I've lost."

Sebastian countered his claim. "You told me once it was difficult to have faith in someone that abandoned you; that you believed the Maker didn't help you when you were enslaved." Fenris nodded, failing to see the point of rehashing an old conversation. "You also said it didn't feel like the Maker cared for you," Sebastian continued, "or anyone. Perhaps this is His way of proving you wrong, by helping you and this woman. Consider the chances that the one person Isabela chose to take from Minrathous was not only like you, but someone you knew, and it is clear there's a higher power at work here."

Fenris grunted. "I liked your subconscious dream theory better."

Sebastian laughed, knowing today would not be the day to convert Fenris. "And what of Hawke, what does she make of all this?"

Fenris shifted uncomfortably. "We haven't spoken of this," he admitted uneasily.

Sebastian looked surprised. "Why? It is clear you've reconciled in your relationship; surely you'd wish to share this with her."

Fenris stood again, suddenly feeling judgmental eyes upon him. "It's…complicated," he tried to explain. "Arielle is her name," Fenris advised Sebastian, realizing he hadn't mentioned it. "Hawke has recently admitted to me that she is…uncomfortable with my closeness to her. I don't think she understands I am all Arielle has at the moment."

Sebastian felt more to the story had yet to be told. "You care for her," he said, seeing if Fenris would admit it.

"I see myself in her," he conceded. "Those memories I can never forget. The difficulties, the emotions and pain one must endure after receiving these markings…" he trailed off, lost in his own horrid past. "Hawke is sympathetic, but could never understand what it was like, what it _is _like for Arielle. Had I someone who understood when it happened to me, perhaps things would've been different."

"You need to talk to Hawke about this Fenris," Sebastian returned to the topic. "Sometimes it's difficult to speak of pain, especially with someone we love. But it's the only way the wound can be lanced." He stood and placed a hand on Fenris' shoulder gently. "It's a noble thing you are doing being there for Arielle. But you must also allow Hawke to be there for you. That is the core of any worthy relationship."

"And what if Arielle is the woman from my past? What if I remember more,_ feel_ more?" Fenris felt the pain, guilt, and weight of his own questions. "Will our relationship be able to withstand that?"

Sebastian feared the answer but tried to remained positive. "The Maker has a purpose here Fenris. Perhaps trust in Him and see what happens."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Isabela stood lazily against the front walls of the Hanged Man waiting for Aveline to exit. A confrontation inside wouldn't be welcome she was certain, so she tested her patience as her curiosity boiled. Thankfully she didn't need to wait long, as the husky red-head departed the tavern moments later. "So big girl, what is it _you're_ doing?"

Aveline sighed in disgust as she headed for the steps to Hightown, clearly trying to avoid answering Isabela. "You followed me all the way to Lowtown? You really need a life Isabela."

"Oh I have a life sweet thing, but yours seems much more interesting right now. So who is it you're tracking? Need some help?"

"No," Aveline asserted as she quickened her pace. "Now go away."

"Nuh uh," Isabela laughed as Aveline's obvious frustration with her. "Not until you spill all the juicy details."

Aveline stopped walking and huffed, realizing Isabela would not leave her alone and would likely follow her all day. "Fine. There's a passenger on that ship I was asked to keep an eye out for. Satisfied?"

"I'm rarely satisfied," Isabela laughed at her own joke but prodded Aveline. "Details Aveline, details!"

Aveline shook her head in annoyance. "Fenris asked me to track all ships from Qarinus. His sister was on board and is now staying at the Hanged Man."

Isabela stood on the middle of the stairs with her mouth wide open in surprise, and Aveline left her there to go find Fenris.


	14. Loyalty

Hawke opened her eyes from her blissful sleep and was met by the bright morning sun shining through the window. She lay in bed for a few moments and thought on the previous evening. To be with him again, to feel his touch on her skin, it was everything she had remembered it to be. Years without that connection was difficult for her, but it seemed that maybe, just maybe, they were beginning again in a positive way.

She knew he had remembered something; she saw it in his eyes and the shift in the way he moved within her. Why he had chosen not to share it with her she didn't know, but she suspected his sudden need to visit the Chantry was his solution. Hawke decided she wasn't going to push him. She knew it happened, he was working out a way to deal with it, and she was going to let him come to her when he was ready. When he hadn't run from her this morning, well that was progress already.

She forced herself to get out of bed and find her clothes that seemed to be everywhere. She hadn't considered bringing something to wear today, so the previous days outfit would have to do. As she searched for a missing sock that seemed to have disappeared, she was startled when she heard a loud noise within the mansion.

Arielle. Hawke couldn't believe she had forgotten the woman was there. She gave up on the search for the sock and walked to the former slaves room, knocking on the door. "Arielle? Is everything alright?"

The door to the bedroom opened and Arielle smiled at her. It seemed the woman was in the process of rearranging furniture. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I didn't know anyone was here."

Hawke rubbed her sleepy eyes. "I was already awake," Hawke told her as she looked around the room. "What were you doing?"

Arielle seemed a bit embarrassed as she retreated back into the room and pushed on the bed. "I wanted to be able to look out the window before I slept," she explained. "I didn't have a window back home."

_Home_. The word seemed so foreign to Hawke, this woman associating Danarius' cellar as home. "Here, let me help you," Hawke offered as she lifted the opposite side of the bed. The two of them moved what little furniture that was in the room, Hawke allowing Arielle to put it in whatever place she wanted. When they were finished, Arielle sat on the bed and looked out the window, smiling. "You seem to be in better spirits today," Hawke stated, sitting at the repositioned desk.

Arielle nodded. "Thanks to you and Anders," she said in her quiet tone. "I have no pain today."

Hawke genuinely felt happy for her. "Good. I'm glad," she said honestly. Arielle's grin continued as she stared out the window, sunlight caressing her light skin. Hawke decided this seemed like as good a time as any to apologize to the woman. "Arielle, there's something I've been meaning to say to you."

Arielle adjusted her position on the bed to face Hawke. "Have I done something wrong?"

Hawke sighed at the question, wishing the former slave didn't always think she was at fault for something. "No, in fact I feel as if _I _have done something wrong." She took a moment to gather her thoughts as Arielle's soft blue eyes remained locked on her. "I know this must be an enormous adjustment for you, leaving Danarius and being brought here with us. I feel as if perhaps we haven't taken the time to really help you work through this."

Arielle looked away from her, not sure what to make of what Hawke was saying.

Hawke accepted her silence and continued. "While it's all new to you, it's kind of new to us as well, so we may be making several mistakes along the way. Isabela for instance, never should've used you like she did yesterday. And I wanted to apologize for that."

Arielle returned her gaze at Hawke. "I didn't mind yesterday," she said almost smiling.

Hawke narrowed her eyes at Arielle. "You had fun," she said realizing the expression on her face.

Arielle sheepishly nodded. "I wasn't forced to do it; Isabela asked me if I would and I agreed. It was nice to do something for her, to repay her for what she has done for me."

Hawke shook her head at her own stupidity and unfair judgment of Isabela. She, like Fenris, had assumed Isabela used Arielle to get what she wanted. It never occurred to her that Arielle was given a choice and had chosen to help her. "_Maker_, I feel like an idiot."

Arielle shrugged. "You didn't know is all. I wasn't able to tell you or Fenris yesterday. But I know you were both angry with her and you need to know the truth. It was my fault." Arielle seemed genuinely sad that Isabela was in some sort of trouble. "She was only trying to help me so I wanted to help her."

"And that makes perfect sense," Hawke realized out loud. "We'll need to tell Fenris when he gets back; he's very upset with her." Arielle's mood shifted and Hawke felt it immediately. She was afraid to tell Fenris. "He'll understand Arielle, don't worry."

"He was very angry," Arielle whispered.

"He was _concerned_," Hawke corrected. "In case you haven't noticed, he's a bit overprotective when it comes to you. When you weren't here, it frightened him. I believe he thought Danarius had found you."

Arielle took the opportunity to confess to Hawke. "I can feel his emotions," she stated. "I realized it yesterday. If I try hard enough I can sense what everyone is feeling, but he comes through louder than the rest."

Hawke shifted uncomfortably. "So you can not only project emotion and fear, but you also know what another person is feeling?"

Arielle nodded. "I think so. I tried yesterday after I felt him but I didn't have the energy. I was going to try today to see if I could on anyone else."

"That could be a bit intrusive Arielle," Hawke warned. "We'll have to find someone willing so you don't embarrass anyone."

"I'm sorry," she immediately said. "I didn't think…"

"No," Hawke stopped her, realizing she was headed down the guilt road again. "It's worth looking into. This could be a very valuable skill to have and we should work on it. I just think it should be someone's choice before you go prying into something they may wish to keep hidden." Hawke hoped she sounded convincing, not wanting Arielle to attempt this new skill on her.

Arielle hadn't realized this ability could be a bad thing. "I trust you," Arielle admitted. "Whatever you think is best I will do."

Now Hawke felt the guilt at this woman revealing such a thing as trust between them. The former slave was really starting to grow on her, and Hawke found herself wondering what a future would be like with her around.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Tell me you have something worth my time," Isabela winked at the young man who stood before her.

"I was given this today," he stated handing Isabela a sealed parchment. "Told to stop for no one and deliver it straight into the hands of the magister."

"Such a good messenger you are," Isabela cooed, kissing the man on the cheek as she took the letter from him. "And what do you suppose is a fitting reward for bringing me something as delicious as this?"

The man blushed, shyly adjusting his shirt and refusing to look at her. "Could you…could we… do like last time?"

Isabela gave him a soft chuckle, leaning into him and whispering into his ear. "Can you handle me again sweet thing?" she asked allowing her tongue to stroke his neck.

The man shivered, knees weakening, as he nodded with excitement. "Y-yes, yes I can," he replied, voice cracking in anticipation.

Isabela pressed up against him and moved her lips close to his. "Close your eyes," she said to him, breath upon his face. The man did as told and Isabela moved behind him, running her hands along the front of his shirt as she quietly removed her knife. With one swift motion she brought it to his neck, slicing his throat before he could make another sound.

As his now lifeless body fell to the floor, Isabela removed the seal on the letter with the bloody knife and began reading:

_D,_

_Forgive the absence of my correspondence, as getting word out of Kirkwall is becoming increasingly difficult under the Knight Commanders scrutiny. _

_I read your last letter with great interest, and I believe there is more I can offer you on the situation brewing here. I know my previous dealings with Q have left you leery of trust, so I offer you this information as proof: I have confirmed that your lost pupil is indeed within the city, and have recently been questioned on the matter you last spoke of. _

_I await further instructions._

_O_

"Shit," she said to the corpse at her feet. "Hawke's not going to like this." She folded the letter and placed it in her pouch, leaving the body to be dealt with later.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Am I interrupting?" Fenris asked standing in the doorway to Arielle's bedroom.

Hawke looked up at him and smiled. "No, just girl talk," she said winking at Arielle. "Is that breakfast I smell?"

Fenris nodded at the basket he was holding. "I see you rearranged the furniture," he noted looking into the room. Arielle remained silent but nodded. "I like it," he said with a hint of approval. "Gives you a better view of the window."

Arielle now grinned as Hawke chuckled, coming to terms with just how similar the former slaves seemed to be. "I'm starving," Hawke said standing up and taking the basket from Fenris. "What feast did you bring us?"

"You are always hungry," Fenris mocked as she began going through the contents. "I may have cheated a bit," he admitted.

Hawke noticed several of the treats wrapped in familiar cloth. "You had Orana make us breakfast? I don't know whether to scold you or kiss you. I do love her cooking…"

They continued their light banter as they made their way downstairs to the kitchen. Arielle helped disperse the contents of the basket and the three ate in relative silence, occasionally commenting on how well the food tasted. Each had a story to tell the other, but it seemed they were satisfied enough to simply enjoy each others company for now.

As they concluded breakfast Arielle began cleaning up, and Hawke stood to help her. Fenris couldn't help but wonder what their discussion had been about, seeing the two of them much at ease in each others company. He had no doubt it was Hawke's attempt at making things a little easier for the three of them, and for that he was grateful.

He decided to help them as well, taking a dish from Arielle to dry it, and for a moment felt as if he had done this before with her. Not so much a memory, but a familiar feeling, a comfortable feeling, and Fenris focused on the image to try and draw from it. When nothing came of it, he released a small sigh of frustration that the women immediately picked up on.

But before either could ask him about it, a knock at the front door disrupted the chore, and Fenris left the women to greet whoever was walking in. "We need to talk," Aveline stated as she walked past Fenris into the foyer. "I have information for you."

She stopped speaking when Hawke entered the foyer followed by Arielle. Aveline greeted them both but didn't continue her conversation with Fenris, knowing he hadn't yet told Hawke about his search for his sister. "Hawke, I need to speak with Fenris for a moment. Do you mind?"

Hawke shook her head. "Not at all. In fact I need to head to the estate. Fenris," she turned to him, "would you mind if Arielle came along? I'm sure she could use some air, and we'll be right back, promise."

Fenris didn't hesitate since he trusted Hawke. "I will meet you there," he countered. He couldn't help but notice the light in Arielle's eyes at hearing she was going out, and he wondered if he was perhaps sheltering her too much. A thought for another time, he waited for the women to leave before escorting Aveline into the living room.

"What kind of information?" he asked as they both sat opposite each other.

"Your sister," Aveline said gently. "She is here." Fenris closed his eyes, allowing the words to sink in. "She is alone, as far as I can tell. Arrived from Qarinus this morning."

"Then Hadriana wasn't lying," Fenris acknowledged, still feeling no guilt for killing her.

"It appears not," Aveline agreed. "Though she knew to go to the Hanged Man, how I'm not so sure."

"I told her to go there if she were to come. Paid for the room in advance in case she ever showed up." Fenris rested his head in his hands. "And now she's here."

"You need to tell Hawke," Aveline pointed out. "I haven't enjoyed keeping this from her, but now that your sister is here she needs to know. The timing seems too coincidental to me."

"I had thought of that," Fenris admitted. "Though if she really did come from Qarinus, he could not be with her. We just left him in Minrathous; the timing would be impossible." He stood and began his usual pacing, wondering what to do with this information. "I have waited years for this moment, and now it seems difficult to comprehend."

Aveline stood. "This is a conversation for you and Hawke," she said feeling a bit uncomfortable. "I did as you asked. Now it's up to you."

He placed his hands on top of the fireplace, closing his eyes once more when he heard Aveline leave. His sister, here, the connection to the past he was looking for. Aveline was right, the timing seemed too convenient, but what choice did he have now? Avoid her? Send her away? Or confront her and the memories she may bring head on?

Fenris knew he only had one option. He had to find Hawke and tell her everything. She was the only one that could help him through this. He owed it to her. And he needed her.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"I can't believe this," Hawke sighed, the letter from Orsino laying on the table. "I was a fool to think we could trust him."

Isabela leaned forward to catch her attention. "I was right there with you sweetie. Luckily the letter was intercepted before it could reach its intended target."

Hawke rubbed her temples in an attempt to help the anxiety brewing within her. "I don't know what I'm going to do." She leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling as if it held some answers. "Maybe I _should_ run away and start a farm. I bet I'm much better at selling eggs than dealing with lyrium skinned ex-slaves and their masters."

Isabela laughed at her friend. "Doubtful. Once you saw the cute little chicken you'd feel the need to rescue all chickens, never allowing another egg to be used for food again."

Hawke smiled at the joke but the worry still consumed her. She only snapped out of her haze when Fenris came walking into the dining room.

Isabela stood up. "That's my cue to leave. Later Hawke," she said as she walked past Fenris without making eye contact.

Fenris released a low growl before sitting in the seat Isabela had just occupied. Hawke rested her head on the table, not ready to face the wrath of Fenris from seeing Isabela at the estate. "Where is Arielle?" he asked cautiously, feeling the obvious tension within Hawke.

She turned her head to the side and looked up at him. "She's upstairs taking a bath," Hawke informed him, resting her chin on her hands. "And we owe Isabela an apology."

"Do we?" Fenris snarled. "I somehow doubt that."

Hawke was drained, too much so to get into a fight over Isabela. She let the matter drop for now. "Everything alright with Aveline?" she asked him, changing the topic.

Fenris nodded. "I had asked her for a favor a while ago, and she was finally able to come through. It's my sister," he began, as Hawke immediately sat up and became attentive. "I didn't tell you, but I followed up on Hadriana's information. Everything she said was true." When Hawke still held whatever thoughts she had, Fenris continued. "I had to keep it quiet, but I eventually contacted Varania and sent her coin enough to come meet me. And now she's here."

"She was in Qarinus after all," Hawke asked, shock of yet more difficult news threatening to overwhelm her.

"Yes," Fenris confirmed. "According to the men I paid, it's just as Hadriana said. She is not a slave, nor a servant. She left magister Ahriman's service to become a tailor. And now she's finally come."

"And you asked Aveline to make sure it wasn't some sort of trap," Hawke deduced. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Fenris looked away from her. "We weren't exactly speaking when I decided to look into it. It took time to find her and get word to her of my existence. I never imagined she would actually come, so I saw no need in telling you. But now she's here, and I need you to come with me to meet her."

Hawke placed her hand on his. "Of course I'll come," she said without question. "We have no way in knowing it _isn't_ a trap, so I will be there as support as well as protection."

"I do not fear it being any sort of trap. She did come here on a ship from Qarinus; there is no way Danarius could've been there and in Minrathous when you saw him."

Hawke sighed, the weight of the latest information forming knots in her stomach. "I fear Danarius may already have help within the city," she stated as she held up the letter for Fenris. "Isabela intercepted this message from Orsino. It refers to Danarius' 'lost pupil' being in Kirkwall, though I don't know if he's referring to you or Arielle."

"_Venhedis_," he growled, rising from the chair. He took to his usual pacing, anger and despair crushing his heart. "He will never let me be free," Fenris suddenly whispered, defeat now taking hold of him. He stopped pacing when he looked into the hall and Arielle stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching him with fear in her eyes. "And now I've brought this upon you as well," he said softly to Arielle, as if he were about to break.

Hawke stood and went to him as she mirrored the look of concern in Arielle's eyes. "I will see to it that_ both_ of you are free," she said to them. "I don't care if I have to destroy the entire city to do it."

Fenris closed his eyes as Hawke caressed his cheek, and for a moment he truly believed her. Arielle joined them, taking Hawke's hand and then his, silently vowing her own loyalty to them as well. It seemed if there were to be war with Danarius, they were all willing to face him together.


	15. Varania

There was almost a definable trail in the path he had paced outside the Hanged Man. Arielle and Hawke stood in the alley waiting for the others, watching Fenris stalk back and forth in front of the entrance. He hadn't spoken a word on the way there, and now they watched in silence, waiting for Varric to bring them an update.

The dwarf exited the building and made eye contact with Fenris, thought better of speaking to him, and joined Hawke and Arielle. "No sign of her yet," Varric informed the women. "My guess is she'll stay in that room of hers until he goes and knocks."

Arielle continued to watch Fenris pace, her head moving back and forth with his strides. Hawke sighed and leaned against the wall. "So we have no way of knowing if she's alone in that room or not."

"Sounded quiet when Isabela checked it out earlier," Varric informed her, keeping a leery eye on Arielle. "But I agree with the general consensus that this is too coincidental. Nothing goes this smoothly, especially for us."

Hawke nodded. "Better safe than bloody," she stated as she kept an eye on the late night crowds wandering Lowtown. "How's the setup inside?"

"As you planned," Varric informed her shifting his crossbow on his back. "Aveline brought several of the guard with her to celebrate Donnic's fake promotion, and they are all armed and ready for anything. It's entirely up to Broody now."

Fenris glared at the nickname but continued pacing, saying nothing.

Arielle stopped watching Fenris long enough to look towards the stairs. Anders came rushing towards them out of breath. "Did I miss it?"

"Anders," Hawke didn't hide her surprise in her voice. "I didn't think you were coming tonight."

"Well," he said smiling at Arielle briefly, "if anything happens, you'll need me around, right?"

Hawke gave him a knowing glance. "You wouldn't be…maybe…growing fond of our elf friend would you?"

Anders clearly didn't like being caught in a moment of softness for Fenris. "I'm here for my friends should there be an all out brawl," he said defiantly. "I can't help it if he's the cause."

"Mhmm," Hawke smiled teasing him. "Good of you to come for the rest of us. Thank you." Hawke dared to approach Fenris, and he stopped walking when she stood in front of him. "Everything is in place," she told him. "Whenever you're ready."

Fenris nodded and closed his eyes, taking in another of several deep breaths he had taken in the last few minutes. "Thank you Hawke," he softly mumbled as she squeezed his arm in an attempt to comfort him.

She stood with him for a few moments, but returned to Varric, Anders, and Arielle when he clearly had nothing else to say. "I think he may split at the lyrium seams," she joked quietly to the three of them. The men did their best to stifle their laughter.

Arielle continued to watch Fenris, who had remained in the same spot. He was staring at the ground, lifting one foot and then the other, looking completely lost. She broke away from the group and walked towards him slowly, trying not to startle him as she felt his nervous energy in waves. "Will you let me help?" she asked softly enough for the others not to hear.

Fenris looked up at her, and somehow he understood what she was really asking. He nodded without a word and closed his eyes, immediately feeling the calming effects she was projecting towards him. His nervousness subsided into soothing relaxation, and tension disappeared into tranquility. He felt his heart slow down from the frantic pace it had been going, and the knots in his stomach unwound themselves. When he finally opened his eyes she was smiling at him, and then quickly walked into the Hanged Man behind Hawke and the others.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Varric took a quick glance around the room as they entered, noticing the scene was pretty much the same as when he left. There was no sight of Varania, but he stole a glance at Isabela in the backroom behind the bar with Sebastian. The large table in the center of the room held Aveline and her guards, and Hawke and Anders joined Merrill at the corner table in the back. Varric made eye contact with all of them while remaining silent, escorting Arielle up to his room. Arielle immediately went to the side room in Varrics suite as Hawke instructed her, remaining out of sight should trouble come. Varric moved his chair to the entrance of his room and sat down, keeping an eye on the front door downstairs as he pretended to clean his crossbow.

Fenris entered the Hanged Man a few moments later, settling into a table near the front door. He made eye contact with Corff the bartender and nodded, acknowledging a prearranged plan they had discussed when Fenris paid for Varania's room. Corff waited for Norah, the barmaid, to return to the bar, and instructed her to let Varania know Fenris was there.

Varric watched as Norah came up the stairs and turned down the hall, and shortly after heard her knocking on one of the doors. The squeak of the door came next, followed by Norah informing the occupant that "a gentleman is downstairs for you." Norah passed by Varric again a few seconds later, nodded at him, and went back to serving drinks.

Minutes went by that made Varric nervous, until he heard that familiar squeak of the door again. The door closed, followed by soft footsteps, and he watched as a redheaded elf walked past him. There was no doubt in Varrics mind that it was Varania; her green eyes matched Fenris' almost perfectly. Varric held his breath as she approached Fenris' table, waiting for any sign of trouble to follow.

It all seemed to move in slow motion at first. He stared intently at the stairs once Norah had returned and waited for what seemed like an eternity for his sister to follow. His eyes locked on hers, faint recognition creeping into the back of his mind. Her eyes were a mirror of his, and he recalled looking into them many times before. As she approached the table he stood, fearful his voice would fail him when he spoke. "Varania?"

"It really is you," she spoke softly, quietly, as if her words alone would make him disappear. She almost reached out to touch him, as if to make sure he was standing there, but she retreated quickly. "I didn't dare believe it," she admitted out loud.

Fenris couldn't take his eyes off the elf before him. "I…I remember you. We played in our master's courtyard while Mother worked." He struggled with the memory, trying to pull it all into focus. "You called me…"

"Leto," she confirmed for him. "That's your name." Varania placed her hands on the table as if to steady herself, and slowly sat in the chair.

Fenris continued to stand for a moment, looking down on his sister as her eyes never strayed from his. "Mother…her hair was like yours…she had our eyes."

Varania nodded, watching him as he finally sat in front of her. Her eyes now trailed down his neck, to his arms and his hands that lay on the table. "What did he do to you," she wondered out loud. Fenris suddenly felt self conscious at the question, pulling his hands from the table and placing them in his lap. "I'm sorry," she offered sincerely. "I never saw you after…"

"I don't remember," he admitted. "Before I mean. I don't remember much." He couldn't help himself but continue to stare at her. "Perhaps…you could help me."

Her expression softened. "I will tell you what I know," she offered. "On the condition you tell me what has happened since."

Fenris suddenly remembered where he was, as the noise in the room interrupted his momentary haze. "Not here," he said standing, startling Varania with his sudden movement. "Will you come with me?"

Varania stood as well, accepting his offer, and began walking to the front door. Fenris followed behind, looking over his shoulder briefly at Hawke; her eyes were wide and looking back at him. He gave her the softest half smile he could to let her know everything was alright, and then moved in front of Varania to open the door for her.

Once the door shut behind them, all eyes in the room turned to Hawke. "I guess that's it guys," she shrugged. "Thanks for coming to this seemingly uneventful event."

But as the rest of the crew began to stand, the sound of Varrics crossbow could be heard upstairs. "Hawke!" he yelled down to his companions. "We've got company!"


	16. Unraveling Mysteries

"Shit," Isabela cursed out loud as the men ran down the stairs in full force. "Raiders!" Her daggers withdrawn she began cutting into the first man she could find.

"Friends of yours?" Hawke inquired while fighting her own opponent, kicking to block attacks and spinning around behind the man to catch him off guard.

"Find the girl!" Came the shout from the corner, Merrill focusing her attacks on him. "The rest die," he ordered.

Isabela ducked under her target and swiftly moved behind him slicing his throat with one clean strike. "Castillon," she muttered to Hawke as she moved closer to assist her fellow rogue.

Hawke didn't have time to be angry at Isabela as two more men joined in the fray against the two of them. "Anders!" Hawke yelled over her shoulder as she felt him casting spells in her direction. He sent a blast of energy towards the three men in front of Hawke and Isabela and they were pushed back, falling to their knees but quickly coming to their feet. "Get her out of here," Hawke said in a hushed tone to Anders when he was next to her. "Varric!" Hawke shouted to get his attention, making sure Varric noticed Anders headed towards the stairs. Arrows soon rained down on the men near the stairs as Anders made his way to Varrics room. All other raiders were too busy to notice in the chaos.

Arielle heard him approach and came out of the room she was in. "Shouldn't we stay and help them?" she inquired as Anders grabbed her hand.

"No," he said taking her to the back entrance of the Hanged Man upstairs. "They are here for you; we have to get you out of here."

Downstairs the commotion continued. The raiders broke up into smaller groups attempting to battle the companions and their friends, but unfortunately for them Hawke was prepared for a fight this evening. Aveline and her guardsman backing up Hawke and the others left very little success for Castillon and his men. Those that dared to confront Hawke and Isabela were met head on with blades of fury. Sebastian and Varric took care of anyone thinking about running. Merrill was content to hit anyone she saw go near her friends.

When the last spell was cast and the last arrow flew, the only man standing was Castillon, Isabela at his back and a knife to his throat. "I should've done this last time," Isabela whispered in his ear. "You went back on your word."

"I did not," Castillon uttered as the blade caressed his skin. "I didn't know you'd be here!"

"Too bad for you," Isabela said preparing to kill the man.

"Wait," Hawke told Isabela as she approached the couple. "We still don't know who sent him."

"Where's broody when you need a good squeeze for information," Varric muttered from behind Hawke.

Hawke smiled at the comment as she stared at Castillon. "You went through a lot of trouble to attack me and my friends," she said. "Perhaps I could be convinced to let you keep your life if you tell me what you're doing here."

The Antivan merchant began to speak, small drops of blood coming from his neck as Isabela stood firm with her blade. "You hear a lot in my line of work," he began. "After I saw the girl with Isabela I did some checking. There's a price on her head."

Hawke crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Who's paying?"

Castillon shrugged, the movement causing him to curse as the blade grazed his flesh again. "Who isn't? There's several contracts for the one branded with lyrium."

Hawke looked over his shoulder at Isabela and they seemed to be thinking the same thing. "How long have these contracts been in circulation?"

"Some new, some a few years," he told her. "Not too many folks with power like that who isn't a mage. I figured she's got to be the one that's wanted."

Hawke sighed as she brought a hand to her temple. "These contracts don't specify gender," she stated without really asking.

"Why?" Castillon's eyes widened. "There's more than one?"

Hawke nodded, but to Isabela and not Castillon. Her blade on his throat never moved, but he fell to the ground as Isabela chose to stab him in the back instead. "Bastard," she muttered while spitting on him.

Hawke looked around the Hanged Man at the destruction that remained. Corff was already back behind the bar drying glasses, knowing that Hawke's scuffles were always dealt with and paid for. Aveline ordered her men to start cleaning up the bodies as Hawke settled the large tab with Corff. "I need to get to Fenris and then check on Arielle," Hawke told the others when she was finished. "Sorry to leave you with the mess."

Aveline glared at her but said nothing. Hawke already knew she'd be in for a long lecture later on about involving the guards in unsavory business. Isabela was busy checking the bodies for anything salvageable before they were taken. When Varric offered to go to the mansion with Hawke, she declined, instead asking him to dig up what information he could about these contracts. Merrill wanted nothing more than to return to the alienage, and Hawke couldn't really blame her after the night they had.

As Hawke headed to the door to leave, Sebastian walked beside her. "I am coming with you whether you like it or not," he informed her.

She smiled and thanked him, and the two made their way to the mansion.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders and Arielle made it to the clinic without incident. As a precaution Anders began locking the clinic doors and extinguishing all lights except for the lantern in his back room. Arielle sat in one of his chairs as she watched him set magical traps by the entrance and gathered a few lyrium potions from his shelf. "Can never be too careful," he said to her when he joined her, sitting on the cot he slept in. "Though I doubt anyone followed us. I think Hawke and the others probably took care of anything that may have come our way."

Arielle looked around the room. Shelves held books, flasks, and bowls of herbs, and there was a desk in the corner with several stacks of disheveled papers on it. The cot Anders sat on squeaked under his weight, and there was a small washbasin in the corner. "You live here?" she questioned eyeing the clothing dresser and small pantry.

"It's not much," Anders admitted, "but it's freedom."

She pondered the statement for a moment. "You were a slave too?"

Anders laughed. "A weighted question if I ever heard one. Depending on who you ask, maybe. I'm a mage, and by all laws should be locked up in the Gallows."

Arielle seemed confused. "Mages are locked up here?"

He nodded. "Different then what you know in Tevinter. There are no powerful magisters here; mages are kept in a sort of prison to prevent us from using our powers."

"But you are free," she noted.

"For now," he told her. "I was allowed some freedom as a Grey Warden, but since I left them too I'm just another apostate. Hawke and some people in this town have kept me safe so far from the templars. Although lately it seems my time as a free mage is limited."

She wasn't certain she understood everything he had said. All she knew was that mages held the power where she came from. To hear they are all locked up made her wonder if this is a better place to live than in Tevinter. "What's a Grey Warden?" she asked.

Anders had to stifle a groan. "It's nothing important here, certainly not important to me anymore. You've really never heard of them?"

She shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't know much," she admitted suddenly realizing how foreign things really are to her. She tried to recall anything about the place she had come from or the people she knew. "I wasn't taught politics or laws of other places," she told him.

"Probably for the best," he said leaning back against the wall. "This all must seem a bit strange to you," he inquired trying to sate his curiosity. "Not even knowing all you're capable of. I can't imagine waking up one day and not knowing I'm a mage, having those powers surface on their own and surprising me and everyone around me."

"And not knowing those people around you," Arielle added as if she only now just realized that fact. "It's lonely," she confessed softly.

She looked sad to him, lost, and he wasn't certain if he was feeling sympathy for her or if she was projecting her own sadness and he was picking up on it. Since they had shared a connection when he healed Fenris, Anders had noticed a difference in the way he felt when he was around her. He wasn't certain if the connection still existed in some way, but there was no mistaking the change he felt within him when in her presence. He doubted she knew any more about it than he did though, so he didn't bother to ask.

Arielle seemed to be lost within her own thoughts, so he didn't press the conversation further. Instead he closed his eyes and relaxed under the soft vibrations he felt by being near her, and they both waited.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris and Varania arrived at the mansion without incident. To her credit Varania said nothing of the conditions Fenris was living in as she followed him to the main room and sat while he started the fire in the dark room. They had walked in silence, both unsure of what to say or how to communicate, but now that they were alone the uneasiness seemed to be subsiding. After the fire was started Fenris sat opposite his sister and searched for all the questions he had ever had; questions that seemed to be fading now when confronted with an opportunity for answers.

As if she understood his internal struggle, Varania began. "How long have you been here?" she asked him.

"Years," he responded without thinking. "I stayed in Seheron for a time before ending up here."

"And you remained?" She asked surprised.

"I was tired of running," Fenris admitted. "Danarius has sent his people after me. He is aware I am here." He did his best to control his anger. "I will run no longer and will face him when the time comes."

Varania bit her lower lip, wanting to comment on the foolishness of his statement but didn't want to begin arguing so soon into their reunion. "I will answer whatever I can for you," she offered him.

Given the opportunity to know everything he ever wanted was overwhelming to him. Fenris wasn't sure where to begin, what he truly wanted to know and what he wished to remain in the dark about. He had flashes of a life with his sister, and now from seeing her could recall what his mother looked like, but wasn't certain why they had been separated. "Our mother," he dared to ask the difficult question first, "does she still live?"

The immediate sadness in Varania's eyes gave him the answer he regretted now knowing. "No," she whispered. "She didn't live long after…" she trailed off.

"After what," he prompted.

Varania thought of the best way to tell him. "We were granted freedom," she began. "Our master released Mother and I, but with no coin or support. We were without jobs and a roof over our head," her voice strained under the memories. "We did what we had to in order to survive, but it took a toll on Mother quickly."

Fenris felt his anger surfacing as his mind went to dark places to fill in the unspoken words of just what they had to do. His earlier memory of being with his mother and Varania flashed in his mind again, and he wondered out loud, "where was I?"

Varania closed her eyes, wishing the conversation hadn't gone there so quickly. "You had competed for a position under Danarius," Varania informed him. "Your reward was our freedom."

Fenris replayed her words in his mind. "I…caused her death," he said out loud, the shock of the admission hitting his chest hard.

Varania shook her head. "You couldn't have known it would turn out as it did. We were all led to believe that Danarius would assist Mother and I in some way. Or that our former master would help us after the years we served him. But we were left with nothing," she said again. "And you were gone."

"But why?" Fenris didn't understand. "Why would I do this? You say I competed to work for Danarius. Why?" He searched the darkness within his memory, hitting walls at every turn. His frustration was building at not knowing why he would do such a thing to his family.

"Two reasons," Varania informed him. "As I said, one was the reward of our freedom. It was a good thing you were doing for us; Mother and I never blamed you for how it turned out."

Fenris closed his eyes. "I am sorry," he whispered to her. Guilt came in waves as he imagined how his mother must have died, at the thought of Varania then having to survive on her own. He compared it to his own struggles after he left Danarius, and wondered if he and his sister were more alike than they knew.

She placed a sympathetic hand on his. "Leto, we _never_ blamed you."

He allowed the touch of her, guilt surrounding his heart while he attempted to believe her. "You said there were two reasons. The other?"

"Vasilia," she said the name, watching for his reaction.

Fenris recalled hearing the name before. "The wife of Archon Hessarian? I don't understand."

"Then you don't remember her," Varania sighed. "Yes, in history Lady Vasilia was Hessarian's wife. But it is also the name Danarius chose for his daughter…whom you were in love with."

Fenris pulled away from her and bolted from his seated position, the news both disturbing and overwhelming him. "Danarius had no children," he stated, believing it to be true.

Varania's body stiffened at the change in Fenris' attitude, but revealed the truth to him again. "Danarius has two daughters. Vasilia and Hadriana. You competed to gain service to him so you could be closer to Vasilia. Your relationship was secret to all but Mother and I."

Fenris made no reply, shutting his eyes as he struggled to remember. He replayed the dream in his mind, the touch of the woman he remembered, the feel of her lips upon his. The images of her being taken away by guards; her screams echoing in his mind once more. He recalled yelling her name as he fought the chains that held him, and this time he heard the name fall from his lips.

Vasilia.


	17. One Step Forward

"Tell me Hawke, how have you been holding up?" Sebastian walked beside her as they made their way from Lowtown to Hightown. He regretted not being as active in her life lately as he would've liked, and Fenris' recent confession told him there was much more going on for his friends than he was aware of.

Hawke sighed beside him, the adrenaline of the previous fight still running through her system. "I'm not certain I have an answer to that question," she joked. "It's been a while since we've spoken," she admitted her own guilt in not seeking him out. "But I suspect you are aware of what's going on from someone's recent visit to the Chantry."

Sebastian smiled at her insightful mind. "While I can not comment on his recent visit, I can admit that yes, I know a little."

Hawke nodded, assuming as much. She knew Fenris would turn to him, above all others, and she was thankful Sebastian was there for him. Although Hawke felt a bit jaded knowing Fenris still couldn't confide in her completely, if talking to Sebastian kept him from running away from her again then she'd hold no ill will towards either of them. "Things are…changing," Hawke acknowledged. "Although it seems every time we get ahead we fall back again."

Sebastian placed a hand on her back and rubbed it gently. "It will all work itself out Hawke. Have faith."

She couldn't help but smile at his eternal optimism. "From your mouth to the Makers ears," she commented approaching the mansion. Another deep breath before pushing the door open, she remained in the foyer and called out to him. "Fenris?"

Varania jumped at the sound of someone in the mansion as Fenris stood. "It's alright," he told her as he called to Hawke. She entered with Sebastian and Fenris made the introductions. "Hawke, Sebastian, this is my sister Varania."

The red-headed elf nodded to both of them as she remained seated. Fenris took notice of Hawke's slightly disheveled look, and then noticed a wound on her arm. "You're hurt," he said touching her arm gently. "What happened?"

Hawke looked down at the slash across her shirt and the blood staining the fabric. "I hadn't even noticed," she said as she peered under the shirt to look at the wound. "It's fine," she assured him when she noticed the concern in his eyes. "But we have a problem."

Fenris looked from Hawke to Sebastian, wondering what had happened. "Where is Arielle?" he asked as panic stirred within his chest.

"She's fine," Hawke said immediately, realizing she should have told him that first. "She's with Anders." She glanced towards Varania and then back at Fenris, feeling a little uneasy having this discussion in front of her. In the back of her mind Hawke couldn't help but wonder if her visit was still a setup, and watched her out of the corner of her eye with suspicion. "We were attacked when you left by Castillon. He was looking for Arielle."

The shift in Fenris' posture was enough to make anyone nervous, as his anger surfaced with the soft glow of his markings. Hawke noticed Varania take in a breath and gasp before Fenris brought himself under control. Hawke was surprised the woman remained seated, assuming any normal person who didn't know Fenris would give in to fear and flee. But since she remained, Hawke felt herself become a little more respectful towards her.

"Is he dead?" Fenris asked, his voice revealing a hint of needed revenge.

"Yes," Hawke advised him. "But there will be others. We need to get you out of here for now until we figure out the extent of what's going on. People are looking for you too Fenris; it's not safe here anymore."

"It never was," he reminded her. "I will not run Hawke. You know this."

Hawke sighed at his stubbornness. "And what of Arielle? Or your sister?" she said looking at Varania, and then whispered to Fenris. "If you wish to protect them, you need to be reasonable here." She turned towards Varania and addressed her. "I'm sorry your visit seems to have come at a bad time, but as a precaution I am offering you a room in my home while you remain in Kirkwall. It will give you and Fenris a chance to catch up and will put my mind at ease."

Varania looked at her brother and Fenris nodded in submission. "I will not lay in wait though Hawke," he warned her.

"I know," Hawke agreed. "Let's get Arielle back to the estate and see what Varric comes up with. We _will _go on the offensive here. I grow tired of people attacking my friends."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Arielle stared at the ceiling in the clinic listening to the soft slow breathing of Anders as he remained quiet. His eyes were closed, and she wasn't certain if he had drifted off to sleep or not, but she didn't feel comfortable enough to succumb to sleep herself.

Fenris had explained to her that Anders had joined with a spirit which caused her initial fear of him. And while he had shown her a few times that he was no danger to her, she still felt uneasy around him. He was a mage; the potential within him to turn into something like Danarius frightened her. His story of mages being prisoners outside Tevinter interested her as she thought on it. But yet he walked around free. Which meant others probably did as well, and she wasn't certain if she could trust him or any of them.

Fenris seemed to be the only one she could trust. She knew that without any hesitation. She could see it in his eyes, felt it when she was near him, and just _knew_ that he would protect her above all else. To be in contact with someone like that was borderline intoxicating; to know that someone not only understood you better than anyone else but would be there for you unconditionally was a new sensation for her.

There was no opportunity for these soft emotions when she was a slave. It was duty, order, discipline, endurance, and submission. There was no feeling of being safe, or protected, or even thought of as anything more than property. And as each day went by that she was forced to learn her new role, and each night ended in brutal torment and assault, Arielle had lost more and more of herself. She had wanted to die, and yet even then wouldn't be able to attempt to end her own life for fear of failure and repercussion.

She longed for memories of a different time, wondered what her life was like before. Fenris had convinced her that whatever memory she had wasn't real, that her nightly trips into the fade were somehow forced by the mages that held her and gave her a false life. And now she dared to dream of a time when she may have been happy, or safe, or loved. Staring into the blackness that was her past was frightening; how could you just not know what you had been before? The smallest things she wished to recall; the scar on her knee and the one on her face, how did they come to be?

Did she have family? Was there someone that may be missing her? Parents who worried about her or friends that she used to hold dear? She watched Hawke's interactions with her friends and knew that they would do anything for each other, even when they were fighting. Did she have friends like that? Was she as daring as Hawke or Isabela? Or perhaps she was once a beautiful princess trapped in some castle waiting to be rescued. She saw and felt the way Hawke felt for Fenris. Was there someone out there that had felt the same for her?

Her imagination would take her to the darkest of places and then the brightest. She didn't know who she was before but she was beginning to figure out who she was now. Someone lucky enough to be near another who understood her more than she even understood herself. Suddenly surrounded by people that have come to care about her because they care about him. They don't know her past anymore than she does, and yet they stand beside her.

And in that moment Arielle knew. She must find a way to repay them.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The banging at Isabela's door was extremely annoying, and no matter how she positioned the pillow over her head, it just wouldn't stop. All she wanted was a quick nap before heading over to Hawke's for Varric's debriefing, but some very insistent person was interrupting her beauty sleep.

Grudgingly she pulled herself out of bed and searched for something to put on, grabbed her daggers and stumbled to the door. "This better be life or death," she said as she opened the door slowly.

Her friend Alfora stood against the door frame, exhaustion and dirt covering her face. Isabela immediately pulled her into the room and shut the door. "What are you doing here," she said to her friend as she helped her to the bed.

She poured her friend a glass of water which she immediately inhaled before answering. "I came to warn you," Alfora told her. "Danarius' men are about two days behind me."

Isabela sat on the bed next to her. "Shit. Are you sure?"

Alfora nodded. "I figured it was quicker me coming here than send a message." A sad expression came across her face. "And they kind of torched my house."

Isabela gasped. "Oh Alfie I'm so sorry," she spoke honestly to her friend. "Are you hurt?" she asked looking over her friend for injuries.

Alfora shook her head. "No. I was in the woods when they approached. But as they were leaving I heard them talk about stocking up and moving out to follow the trail."

"So they _can_ track her," Isabela realized out loud.

Alfora nodded. "There's some big meeting brewing in the city, otherwise I'm certain Danarius probably would've come himself. A bunch of magisters have been showing up from all over the Imperium. No one knows what's going on but security has tripled since you left. No one in or out without Danarius' permission."

Isabela leaned back in her bed and sighed. "I knew I should've left when I had the chance."


	18. Revelation

Hawke was surprised at herself when she was able to convince Fenris to stay at her estate for the time being. She was also surprised that she hadn't completely thought the situation through before suggesting it. She had instructed Orana to make up the guest rooms for Varania and Arielle, but wondered if Fenris would want his own room or if he would share hers. He had remained quiet during the trip from the mansion to the estate, leaving Hawke to wonder what he and his sister had already spoken about. Hawke tried not to read too much into it, but there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach that something wasn't right.

Sebastian came to the estate with them, walking beside Hawke as Fenris remained by Varania. Hawke was thankful at least Sebastian was there to relieve some of the awkwardness. When Orana informed them that Varania's room was ready, Fenris escorted her down the hall, and Hawke sat on the bench in the foyer.

"What is it Hawke?" Sebastian questioned when she leaned her head against the wall and sighed.

She shook her head and her shoulders shrugged as she laughed. "I have no idea what I just got myself into," she confessed.

He sat down next to her, removing his bow and propping it against the wall. "It is only temporary," he tried to reassure her. "Are you still concerned trouble followed his sister here?"

Hawke wasn't certain what she thought. "I have no idea. I find myself without answers to a lot of questions."

Sebastian gave her a simple solution. "Perhaps you aren't asking the right people," he told her.

She turned to look at him, and his piercing eyes somewhat soothed her. "Tell me wise one, who should I be asking?"

"You know who," he replied quickly, standing up as Fenris reentered the room.

Hawke turned to look at Fenris. "Varania okay?" she asked him with honest concern.

Fenris nodded, "I believe she needed a few minutes alone. Today has been…overwhelming." Fenris turned his gaze to Sebastian. "Would you mind staying here until I return?" he questioned Sebastian. "I wish to retrieve Arielle and would feel better if you remained."

Sebastian nodded. "Of course. I imagine the others will be here soon as well, so I might as well stay."

Hawke stood and went to Fenris. "You should let me get her," she told him. "We don't know who's out there looking for you."

Fenris barely held back rage. "I will not remain a caged animal in your home Hawke," he said a bit harshly before he realized it. He tried to make up for it, "unless there are bandits in your vault, I think I can manage a trip to Darktown and back."

Hawke laughed at her own oversight, forgetting momentarily about the vault entrance to Darktown. "How about some company then?" she offered him, eyes hopeful.

Fenris too had wanted some time alone to process what Varania had told him so far, but he couldn't find it within himself to deny her. He accepted her offer and she smiled at him, leading him through the estate to the vault.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Isabela approached the door to Aveline's office and knocked politely, knowing the Guard Captain would still be in her office at this late hour. When she heard the muffled response to enter, Isabela opened the door slowly peaking her head it. "Don't hit me," she voiced teasingly. "I would never want to interrupt your alone time unless it was necessary."

"What do you want Isabela?" Aveline asked without looking up from the papers she was reading.

Isabela strode into the office and planted herself on top of Aveline's desk. "We have a problem."

Aveline sighed and looked up at her. "You mean _you_ have a problem," she corrected the pirate.

Isabela chuckled but shook her head. "Oh no it's _we_, I'm sure of it. Alfora's at the Hanged Man."

That caught Aveline's attention. "What? Why?"

Isabela smiled as she now held the Captain's interest. "Danarius has some men headed towards the city," Isabela explained. "Couple days out." Isabela allowed a moment of guilt, shifting her gaze to the floor. "They torched Alfora's house after we left."

"_Make_r," Aveline muttered. "So they can track her." Isabela nodded and Aveline stood, grabbing her sword and shield. "Does Hawke know? Is Danarius with them?"

Isabela shook her head. "I haven't been to Hawke's yet. I figured I'd tell you first so maybe you can have the guards keep an eye out. They're on foot; they will have to enter through the main gate. And it's just his men," she concluded. "Danarius remained in Minrathous."

Aveline agreed. "I'll brief my guards in the morning. We should go see Hawke and fill her in," she said moving towards the door.

"See all the good deeds I am capable of," Isabela said as she hopped off the desk to follow.

The Guard Captain didn't agree. "Yes, because all of this wouldn't be happening if it weren't for you," she pointed out as they moved through the Keep. "I'm sure Hawke will appreciate the warning."

Isabela scowled but held her tongue, wondering again why she hadn't left this damned city.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Can I ask you something?" Hawke questioned timidly as they moved through the levels of the vault. "It's kind of a serious something, and if you don't want to answer it's okay."

Fenris heard the need in her voice, apprehensive about what she wanted to ask of him. He wasn't ready to discuss Varania or any details into his past she had revealed to him, but once again he couldn't deny Hawke. He allowed her to ask whatever she wished. "Of course."

She took in a deep breath and released it slowly, looking at her hands and absently picking at a nail. "Did you ever…cry? When you were a slave?"

His was a bit taken aback by the question, having not expected it, but his response was quicker than she anticipated. "No."

Hawke brought her eyes up to meet his as he walked beside her. "What about after?"

Another short reply. "Never." He considered her line of questioning. "What's on your mind Hawke?"

She remained silent for a few moments before giving in to her curiosity. "I know I can never understand what you and Arielle have been through. I just can't imagine that I wouldn't eventually break down from it all." She paused a moment, and when he made no effort to interject, she continued. "I've seen her cry from physical pain, or fear, but never as any form of emotional release."

Fenris gave her the easiest explanation he was aware of. "Part of being a slave is accepting whatever punishment you are given," he told her. "Lashes, starvation, sleep deprivation, other forms of torture…you're taught the hard way that showing any other emotion other than submission is not permitted." He thought on his own time as a slave. "If you dare to reveal to them that they have a way to break you, that you have a weakness, they will use it to their advantage. Shed a single tear over being kicked in the stomach, and they will kick you repeatedly until you no longer cry."

Hawke knew she was going to give herself nightmares with the imagery he was providing, but she needed to know everything if she wanted to understand even a little. "And once you escaped? There was never a moment where you finally allowed yourself some time to just let it out?"

"No," he repeated.

Hawke offered him a supportive smile. "You and she are stronger than I think I could ever be," she admitted to him. "I don't think I could keep it in forever."

Fenris shrugged. "I can not speak for Arielle, but I imagine we aren't very different when it comes to what we've endured. It's not a matter of strength Hawke, you misunderstand."

He was right, she wasn't sure what he meant. "If it isn't strength that keeps you from breaking, what is it?"

"Fear," he confessed. "I am certain it's the same for her as well."

She reached for his hand and he accepted as her heart broke for their pasts. "What are you afraid of?"

Fenris rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb as they approached the door to Darktown. "Releasing all of the emotions that were suppressed when we were slaves?" He hesitated before continuing. "I have no doubt it would drive us mad. Or kill us."

The bluntness and brutal honesty in his words crushed her insides. "Then in a sense you will always be a slave," she whispered finally understanding a small fraction of what they must live with. "You are never free of that pain."

"Correct," came a frighteningly calm response.

Hawke looked at his expression and knew she was right. Any emotional bond she would ever try to form with him would never be complete. He simply wasn't capable of giving her everything, because some things had to remain buried forever. If she pushed too hard, or demanded too much, it could potentially open a floodgate of pain that he would never be able to suppress again.

She fought back her own tears from this realization as Fenris knocked on the clinic doors.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"How about you tell me what you know, and I'll make sure Bianca here doesn't get twitchy," Varric said as he pinned down the known member of the Coterie.

The man struggled beneath Varric's foot, a single crossbow bolt pinning his shoulder to the ground. "I told you!" he stuttered through the pain and fear. "I don't know nothing!"

Varric shook his head, priming Bianca for another shot. "You're making Bianca very upset," he warned once last time.

The mans eyes widened at the sound of the crossbow. "Okay okay! What do you want to know? Anything!"

"That's better," Varric said keeping a foot at the mans throat. "The contracts for the ones branded with lyrium," he stated. "Who's looking?"

"No one has bothered with them in years," the man began. "The one's a friend of the Champion; none of us are stupid enough to go after him!"

"And the other," Varric prodded. "The more_ recent_ contracts?"

"I don't know, I swear!" the man said near pissing himself. "I can…I can find out for you! Let me go and I'll find out!"

Varric sighed. "Sorry friend, afraid I can't do that." And with one quick release, another bolt shot through the mans throat, killing him instantly. With the Coterie cleared Varric moved on to the docks to find his next source; the Carta.

Sadly the Carta interrogation turned up nothing but another corpse to deal with. The Crimson Weaver Bloodragers were clueless, the Followers of She barely spoke the common tongue, and the internal inquiry in the Dwarven Merchants Guild was disappointing to say the least.

Varric shook his head as he made his way to Hawke's estate, prepared to tell her absolutely nothing.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Isabela and Aveline arrived at the estate shortly before Fenris and Hawke returned with Anders and Arielle. Aveline informed them that there was news, but Hawke asked her to wait until Varric had arrived. She wanted everyone to share what they found out with each other all at once to avoid anyone jumping to conclusions or incomplete plans being hatched. Aveline didn't seem to agree with this plan, but Isabela side-tracked them all when she asked Fenris to get his sister so they could all meet her.

Fenris only agreed because he knew they'd want to meet her eventually, and figured now was as good a time as any while waiting for Varric to show up. Hawke gave him a sympathetic squeeze on the arm, knowing he wasn't comfortable with opening up his personal life in front of everyone.

He quietly knocked in the guest room door and Varania opened it, inviting him in. He shifted a bit unsure of himself in the entranceway before he could ask her. "Would it be too much to ask you to come meet some people?"

"Are they friends of yours?" she asked curiously, interested in meeting anyone that her brother was associating with.

Fenris thought on the answer to that question. "Some more than others," he admitted truthfully, thinking of Anders in particular. "I apologize for not anticipating all that would happen this evening. You're arrival coincided with some... unfortunate business. We will speak privately soon, I promise."

Varania shrugged and smiled at him. "It has been a long time Leto. I see no harm in a few more hours."

Her good-hearted nature relieved him somewhat of his guilt for dragging her into the current situation. "Is it difficult for you to call me Fenris? You continue to call me Leto when you know I have no memory of that name."

Varania's eyes glimmered of disgust. "I will not call you the name that monster gave you," she told him. "Unless it's uncomfortable for you, I would prefer Leto."

Fenris gestured for her to follow him into the living room where the others had gathered. "It's fine. I imagine it will take some getting used to."

Varania didn't say anything further on the matter, instead she followed behind him in silence as the many voices of the main room filled the hall. Hawke noticed them coming first, and the attention she demanded quieted the rest of the room. "Some introductions before we begin," Hawke said since Varric had finally arrived, but she was quickly silenced when a burst of magic came from the hall.

Beside Fenris Varania stood with her hands in front of her, sending a strong bolt of lightning past the group and straight at Arielle. The others seemed too surprised to even move, the shock of his sister being a mage overtaking them. Two more quick blasts hit Arielle square in the chest, Varania's eyes filled with hatred and her face expressing nothing but rage.

Arielle stood her ground, the attack seeming to have no effect on her. In an instant her markings shown through her clothing, and her stance became offensive. Fenris recognized immediately what she was about to do, having been on the receiving end of this particular power of hers. Before she could send the wave of energy that would slam Varania back into the nearest wall, Fenris moved in front of his sister. "_Arielle, no!_" he shouted as Hawke finally broke from her momentary stun and moved towards Arielle to restrain her.

It was unnecessary however. Fenris' voice got through to her as did his re-positioning, and Arielle held back at the last possible second from releasing her power. Her breathing was erratic, her markings still glowing, and Hawke couldn't think of what to do for her to get her to calm down.

Anders watched the exchange as did the others, his mouth gaped open in disbelief. "Your sister's a mage? You bloody hypocrite!"

Fenris took a moment to growl at Anders, his own markings beginning to come alive in anger. If he had any power to destroy someone with his stare, Anders would've been dead. A deep breath kept him from attacking, instead turning to his sister, grabbing her arms to contain her. "What are you doing?" he asked her, confusion spreading throughout the room.

Varania never deterred her eyes from Arielle, the anger and hatred there visible to everyone. "She is the cause of our family's pain," she said through gritted teeth. "She is the reason Mother is dead!" Her voice escalated from years of struggle and suffering, "she is the reason I lost my brother, my home! You left us for _her_!"

Hawke felt for the wall behind her, afraid she was going to lose her strength to stand at any moment. She felt dizzy, sick to her stomach, and Sebastian immediately moved to assist her. Arielle seemed the same, if not worse, as Anders moved towards her to keep her from falling from her own weakness. She instinctively clung to him, and he could feel her lit markings vibrate through his skin. The two women, as well as everyone else in the room, could do nothing but watch the confrontation between Fenris and Varania.

Fenris searched his sisters eyes for some hint of deception, perhaps misunderstanding, but it was clear she believed every word she was saying. "Arielle…" he tried to explain.

But Varania cut him off. "_Vasilia," _she spoke the name with revulsion. "I will never forget her face as long as I am alive."

Fenris continued to hold her but looked over his shoulder at Arielle. He struggled to recall the images from his dream, the darkened faces in his mind now coming from the shadow into the light. The man towering over him in chains, now clearly Danarius. The vision of his lover, Vasilia.._.Arielle_...being dragged away screaming, calling his name…he could now see the memory clearly and without question as he stared into her sad blue eyes.


	19. Inner Turmoil

For the longest time, no one in the Hawke estate living room was able to move. The weight of the situation froze everyone in place, all fearing the slightest shift would cause some chain reaction with unknown consequences. Varric, Aveline, and Isabela watched with nervous eyes as the three women in Fenris' life began to slowly fall apart. They each held their breath as they waited for someone to make a move.

Sebastian remained by Hawke's side trying to get her to sit down. Her gaze remained on Fenris, mouth still slightly open in shock and disbelief. Was it possible, she thought, what were the odds that the one person they chose to take from Minrathous was a past lover of his? She briefly locked eyes with Isabela, as if searching for the answer in the pirates eyes, but for the first time since she'd known her, Isabela failed to provide any answer. She couldn't turn to see Arielle, she just couldn't. She didn't want to know what she was thinking, or feeling; she didn't care. And it wasn't until she finally looked up at Sebastian that she snapped out of her daze as anger swept over her. He knew. His eyes told the truth; normally the one trait in him she adored, but now she despised. Sebastian had known and never said a word to her. She pulled her arm away from him, hating him and his comfort.

Anders never let go of Arielle as she now completely relied on him for support. Her markings had returned to normal but her breathing hadn't changed. She took short shallow breaths; any attempt at breathing in deeply was met with incredible pain in her chest. As she closed her eyes, she searched the darkness for any truth to Varania's claims. Responsible for death, for torture, for all pain bestowed upon the one person she had come to trust, to care for. She brought her memory back as far as she could remember; stripped naked on a cold slab of stone, the smell of burning flesh and sweat. Mages surrounded her, touching her, tearing into her skin with shimmering daggers. Nothing before that, nothing, no matter how hard she closed her eyes or how tightly she clenched her fist, there was nothing there. It wasn't until Anders lifted her hand that she noticed the blood pooling in her palm from her nails. She watched the blood accumulate, lost in her own dark thoughts.

Fenris felt Varania begin to shake in his grasp. She couldn't take her eyes off Arielle; the sight of the woman she once considered family now filling her with hatred. She had begged Varania to trust her, swore to her_ Leto/Fenris_ would be safe in her home. She loved him; she would never allow any harm to come to him. They'd be careful, she said. It was only temporary she said. Once _Vasilia/Arielle_ could steel coin enough, her and Leto would reunite with her and Mother and they'd leave Minrathous forever. But she never came. Her brother never came. Months on the street, nights in strangers beds, hiding as a former slave, restricted as a mage with no status. Varania cried every night without her brother until their Mother died. After that there was nothing but revenge to live for. Yet her brothers hands were upon her now; she took a moment to realize this as the tears now fell uncontrollably.

Everyone in the room jumped at the sound of knocking at the door. Hawke shook her head to compose herself, walking past Arielle and Anders without looking at either. She didn't care who was at the door, didn't care how late it was, in her temporary haze she almost welcomed a fight to release everything she held within. Her actions seemed to cause the others to move; their feet no longer frozen in the spots they had remained. Fenris put his arm around Varania as he escorted her back to the guest room where she was staying. Anders moved Arielle towards the kitchen to find a towel to wrap her hand with. The remaining three rogues and the Guard Captain immediately moved to the table Hawke kept wine and glasses on and Varric starting pouring the drinks.

The late night visitor was nothing more than a messenger who handed Hawke a letter and scurried away. She closed the door and leaned against it for a moment, gathering her strength to get through the remainder of the evening. The time to fall apart wasn't now; she had an estate full of people who had gathered together on her behalf and she had no desire to waste any more of their time. Repercussions from the earlier altercation would have to wait; they still had other problems to deal with.

Hawke straightened her armor and redid her hair in a bun and then strode back into the living room with her known confidence and strength. She tossed the unread letter on her desk and took a glass of wine Varric had offered, finishing it with one swallow. Isabela, true to form, browsed the letter on the desk. "Hawke, did you read this?"

She shook her head and shrugged. "Another crisis that demands my attention?"

Isabela smiled mischievously. "Better. You've been summoned by the King."

Hawke grabbed the letter out of Isabela's grasp. "What king?"

Isabela had a far away look in her eye. "_The _King. King Alistair himself requests your presence at the Keep. I wonder if he'll remember me…"

Hawke threw the letter back on the table. "He'll have to wait until tomorrow. We've had enough distractions for one evening." She grabbed a bottle of wine and moved towards the dining room, gesturing to her remaining companions. "Forget the others, let's begin."


	20. Anguish, Passion and Disquiet

Fenris listened to the sound of his sisters muffled weeping as he stared out the window. Varania sat on the bed, head on her knees that were pulled up to her chest, and had continued sobbing for a time. He had attempted to comfort her but she closed herself off to him, and now he waited for her to calm down before speaking to her again. The anger within her refused to subside. To come face to face with the woman who tore her family apart, it was overwhelming. To see them together again was near unbelievable. To finally find her brother only to lose him to her…she couldn't go through it again.

Varania gathered her strength to move and stood. Her sudden action caused Fenris to turn and focus on her, and she lowered her head to avoid his gaze. "I'm going back home," she barely managed to finish the sentence while choking back tears.

Fenris closed the distance between them and reached out to her. "Don't leave," his voice nearly failing him, "please."

Varania refused his touch and took a step back. "It is too much Leto, you can not ask me to remain only to lose you again." The sting of tears reformed in her already burning eyes,. "You have no idea what we went through, what I had to do since Mother died." She no longer fought to control her emotions. "To learn you were alive, that you wanted to see me, it was a hope that had kept me going all these years." She took a moment to look into his eyes, "I can't."

Fenris moved towards her again, reaching for her hand. "Don't leave," he repeated, his voice pleading with hers. "I swear to you, you will not lose me."

Varania fell to her knees shaking her head, "those were your exact words then," she told him as he knelt in front of her. "Your last words to me. How can I believe them again?"

"Because I'm here," Fenris stated, lifting her face to his. "I am right here, now."

Varania pulled her hand away from him, unable to stand but wishing for distance. "As long as she remains in your life I can not trust your words," she explained to him.

"Give me a chance to explain," Fenris begged her. "You do not know everything as I am certain neither do I." He reached for her hand again, needing to feel connected to her in some way. "Please."

Varania took a moment to look upon her brother. She had longed for the day she'd see him again, an impossible dream she had nearly every night since they parted. His words repeated in her mind…he is here, now, although the instinct to flee was overwhelming. As much as she feared losing him again, she feared more the regret she'd have if she lost him due to her own actions.

She finally nodded and he helped her to stand. "Thank you," Fenris whispered to her.

Varania moved back towards the bed, then laid down from exhaustion. "Promise me Leto," she begged, "you'll be here in the morning?"

Fenris leaned down to her and kissed her cheek. "Get some rest. You have my promise."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders gently wiped the blood from Arielle's hands, checking the wounds for the extent of the damage. Four deep cuts pierced her skin from where her nails had been embedded, the blood continuing to flow. He took a cloth and ripped it in half, tying each around her hands to add pressure to stop the bleeding. Not once did she look at him or her hands, her eyes unfocused and lost.

He found himself fascinated with her for reasons he couldn't comprehend. He never took interest in Fenris, despised him on most days in fact, but Arielle was different. Her energy was different. She certainly wasn't broody, or angry at all mages for the faults of a few. The more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to know about her and the power buried inside her.

Anders also knew there was much more to her than Fenris. While he had always been keenly aware that Fenris was near due to the lyrium, with Arielle the feeling was much different. Her skin felt as if it vibrated under his touch, and within him he felt a soft rhythm to some unknown song. The hum of the red lyrium was soothing, near intoxicating, and he couldn't touch her for long without wanting more.

The most surprising of it all to him; other than their first encounter where she had projected her fear upon him, Justice had remained silent whenever Anders was near her. For the first time in years, his thoughts were completely his own. It started him thinking; perhaps primeval lyrium is part of the solution to ending his joining with Justice. Not in its purest form he surmised, since the last trip to the Deep Roads and the idol had no real effect on him, but some altered form that was used to create Arielle's markings.

His thoughts were interrupted when she finally spoke, her voice timid and full of shame. "Do you believe her," Arielle asked. "Am I capable of all she suggested?"

Anders heart felt weak at the sound of her voice; so broken and tormented. He didn't know the first thing about comforting her or how to stop her from whatever self-hatred was beginning to form. But he also knew that lying to her wouldn't benefit her either. "What I know of you now? No, you are not capable of such things." He hated what he was about to say, but he knew he needed to. "What you were capable of before? I don't believe you or I can be certain. It is possible everything she said is true. The point though Arielle is things are different now. _You_ are different. Whatever happened in your past does not shape you at this moment."

Her blue eyes widened as they stared back at him, eyebrows piercing upwards showing a faint sign of hopefulness.

He continued. "The woman that stands before me now has lead a difficult life, one none of us could possibly fathom. Yet you have shown you will give of yourself willingly to help those around you. No matter the pain it caused, you helped me to heal Fenris. You helped Isabela when she needed you. There is no doubt in my mind should anyone in that room need aid, you would be there. For only knowing you a few days, I'd say that's pretty remarkable."

Arielle's mouth formed the smallest of smiles as she bowed her head to him. "Thank you," she whispered, "for your kind words."

He lifted her chin with his hand. "Whatever you learn of your past within the next few days, do not let it consume you," he told her sternly. "It can not be changed, only learned from." He withdrew his hand when he realized he was caressing her cheek more intimately than he had intended. He decided a topic change was necessary to suppress an overwhelming desire to kiss her red lips. "Are you injured from the attack," he questioned.

"I will be fine," she told him honestly. "Magic does not effect me the way it effects others."

Anders recalled an earlier revelation, "after we healed Fenris you told Isabela you could not be healed by magic. You are also not harmed by it?"

Arielle didn't admit complete immunity to it. "I absorb the energy as much as I can project it," she tried to explain. "The intended damage, or healing, is absorbed into the lyrium." She recalled the tightness in her chest earlier. "It's an uncomfortable feeling."

Anders tried to put together the pieces of what she said and compare it what he knew of Fenris. "Forgive my questioning. I am trying to understand all the differences between your abilities and Fenris."

Arielle didn't seem to mind. "Fenris says we may not know everything I am capable of yet. More abilities have been surfacing than Danarius told me of." The more she tried to figure it out in her head for herself, the more she realized even Danarius may not know the extent of it. "But I knew of this one. Danarius wanted to be sure Saarebas could not weaken me."

Anders shook his head and for a moment allowed himself to pity her. A living weapon, created for the sole purpose of destroying an entire race. "Whatever the sins of your former self," he said softly, "you most certainly have paid for them since."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke looked around the table at the group assembled before her. Her friends, with all their faults and charms, gathered together to discuss the many issues they were now faced with. No one had dared bring up the incident that had just occurred; they seemed just as content to get down to business as she was. She didn't allow herself the luxury to consider what she had just heard; no, she'll deal with that later, when she's alone. For now she just wanted to get through the next hour of sorting enemies.

While she had no intention of waiting for Anders or Fenris, it seemed her friends had other plans. They stalled as best they could with their banter. Mostly Varric and Isabela did anyway; Aveline seemed like a caged animal ready to burst and Sebastian continued to stare at Hawke. She knew he was; she felt his gaze upon her and refused to meet his eyes. Hawke knew, logically, that she had no reason to be angry with him for keeping Fenris' secret. But for now it was easier to remain angry at him than at Fenris.

Anders and Fenris joined them almost simultaneously from both entrances to the dining room. Fenris didn't say a word as he settled down at the table. Varric nodded to both of them as a welcome. "Where is Arielle," Hawke asked Anders before he could sit. "She should join us seeing as this concerns her as well."

Anders looked at Hawke with a curious glance but made no effort to comment. He returned to the kitchen and retrieved Arielle. She entered the room behind him when he returned, and the others smiled politely in her direction. She sat next to Anders without a word, keeping her eyes diverted from everyone.

Fenris had watched Arielle enter the room and noticed her hands were wrapped before she hid them in her lap. He wondered what had happened, wanted to ask her, but he felt Hawke's intense gaze upon him. He turned his head away from Arielle, away from Hawke, and settled on a small spider that began climbing the wall behind Aveline.

Hawke didn't feed into the moment of jealousy when she saw Fenris eyeing Arielle. With a deep breath she forced herself to focus. She cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. "Alright, now that we're all here, let's begin. Varric? What news do you bring?"

Varric seemed uncomfortable at the direct question, especially knowing he had no answers for her. "I got nothing," he replied. "It's as if the entire undercity of thugs and miscreants suddenly lost their tongues. The only news I was able to gather was that most of them are afraid of you Hawke, and won't touch anyone you associate with."

Hawke sat back in her chair. "So Castillon and his men acted on the information because no one else would?"

Varric shrugged. "Seems that way. There are contracts out there, he wasn't lying about that. But the heavy hitters in the city are ignoring them. No one knows who put them out there either."

"Someone has to know," Hawke noted. "Bur for now we'll focus our efforts elsewhere. Isabela, news on your end?"

Isabela leaned forward, glancing at Arielle before beginning. "Alfora's in the city, came to warn us of impending trouble. There's a group of Danarius' men already making their way to Kirkwall."

Arielle shifted and Anders reached for her hand under the table. "How long," Fenris questioned.

"Not sure," Isabela admitted. "Two days maybe? They travel on foot."

Aveline spoke up. "I will have my guards at the gates keeping an eye out. We'll not allow them entry but people have ways of finding other entrances into the city. I can't control them all."

Hawke sighed. "And Danarius?"

The mention of his name caused everyone at the table to hold a breath, which was released simultaneously when Isabela informed them the magister wasn't headed to Kirkwall just yet. "Alfora said he's been meeting other magisters within the city, but she doesn't know why."

Arielle offered what she suspected on the subject. "I do. It's the gathering," she informed them. "He had arranged for all powerful and influential mages in Tevinter to come to Minrathous to prepare for the assault on the Qunari."

"Shit," Varric muttered. "That kind of war will have effects throughout Thedas."

Hawke brushed it off for now, not daring to think about another war of that caliber. "If we can't prevent his men from entering the city we'll need a backup plan. Did Alfora have any idea how they knew to come to Kirkwall?"

Isabela's expression softened as she revealed the truth. "They can track her. She's not sure how, but they went to Alfora's home first and destroyed it. They know where Arielle's been and are following her path."

"Blood magic," Fenris stated with disgust as the others turned to him.

Hawke paid attention as Fenris appeared to know something they didn't. "Wouldn't he require her blood to do that? From my understanding when Gascard used the tracking spell blood was necessary."

"Danarius may have another way," Fenris began. He studied Hawke for a moment. Her eyes remained locked with his, as if searching for the answer he had yet to reveal. When he turned from her and focused on Arielle, the sadness and fear of what he knew was clear in his expression. "She is his daughter."

Hawke was unable to suppress the surprise of his news. The others weren't successful either, mouths open as the revelation lay heavy in the room. "You are certain," Hawke questioned, voice wavering as she nearly broke from yet another piece to the ever twisting puzzle that was Arielle.

Fenris nodded, barely able to control his own disgust and anger.

"_Maker_," Aveline whispered. Varric took a sip of his drink, shaking his head in disbelief. Sebastian closed his eyes for a quiet prayer, and Isabela's dark skin almost seemed pale. Anders squeezed Arielle's hand that he continued to hold under the table.

"No," Arielle said as she stood quickly, sending her chair backwards and pulling away from Anders. Fenris stood to go to her, but she moved away, leaning on the wall as her body became weak and her mind processed the information. "That's impossible."

Fenris' eyes softened as he remained unmoving, not wishing to cause her any more stress. "It's the truth," he said quietly. "I'm sorry," he tried.

But she could no longer hear his words. Her mind ran through all of the things Danarius had done to her. The branding, the discipline, the torture and pain. Nights she was awoken to him standing over her, touching her, violating her, these are not the actions of a father. _Her_ father. "No," she said again to herself. All eyes were upon her as she looked around the room, suddenly leaving her feeling very uncomfortable and vulnerable. She felt her markings vibrate beneath her skin, and knew for everyone's safety she had to run.

Anders pushed away from the table and was prepared to chase after her as was Fenris. Hawke stood as well, allowing Arielle to leave and then blocked the entranceway. "Leave her," she warned the both of them as they heard one of the bedroom doors slam. "Stop crowding the poor girl and let her be alone for a minute."

Anders was about to argue but realized she was right, and he sat back down at the table and placed his head in his hands. Fenris still stood before Hawke, finally searching her eyes for any indication of what she was feeling inside. He saw her pain in the brief moment she allowed, but she refused to give into it before business was concluded. "She'll be alright Fenris," Hawke said in a softer tone. "Please, sit and let us finish this."

Fenris wanted to reach out to her, to Arielle, to try and comfort either one of them for the pain he knew they were both feeling because of him. But he knew the expression in Hawke's eyes, knew that now was not the time. His need to speak to both of them would have to wait until their business was concluded.

He sat reluctantly at the table, and Hawke returned to her seat as well. "Anders," Hawke addressed the mage, "any idea how to block a blood mage tracking spell?"

"You're asking the wrong mage," Anders pointed out. "Perhaps Merrill will be more suited to answer that question."

Hawke didn't hide her disgust for the elven blood mage. "I'd rather not. If anyone else chooses to question her, feel free." She focused her attention towards Fenris. "Tell us everything you know," she said to him, "and please don't withhold any information. For your safety as well as hers, we need to know everything."

Fenris felt the words like daggers wash over him. There was the truth in how she was feeling. He knew without further discussion that she felt betrayed he had not come to her with what he knew or suspected. And he knew it would take a miracle to gain her trust again.


	21. More Questions

Discussions continued until well into the morning. Although Hawke had asked Fenris to tell the group everything he knew, unfortunately at that moment it was very little. He had just as many questions as they did, but offered what little he could. There was little reaction when he mentioned Hadriana was also the daughter of Danarius. That Danarius would send his daughter to retrieve Fenris made sense to Hawke's companions, as Danarius would probably trust no one else other than his magister daughter and apprentice for such a task. Those that fought with Fenris against Hadriana now admitted to the resemblance between her and Arielle, just as Fenris had noticed when Arielle originally told him.

No one pried into Fenris' history with Arielle, or the things Varania had accused Arielle of. The altercation was still too fresh in their minds, too raw to Hawke and Fenris, so their friends stayed clear of the topic.

Aveline however dared to ask for speculation as to why Danarius would do something so horrible to his own daughter. "If he wanted a weapon against Qunari as Arielle was led to believe, why her? Why not a warrior or a member of his own guard?"

Hawke looked at Fenris as he thought on the answer, seeing he had several responses that he was considering and none of them pleasant. Hawke spoke to take the burden from him. "I can assume, in his sick twisted little mind, Danarius did this as the final blow to both of them. He must know he's lost control of Fenris by now, so he did the only other thing he could do by hurting Arielle."

Fenris dared to meet Hawke's eyes for a moment, her response matching exactly what he was thinking as well. She lowered her head shortly after, a moment of shame over her jealousy for his past relationship that seemed so brutally destroyed.

"What a twisted bastard," came Aveline's reply, and the others readily agreed.

As the sun shown through the windows signaling the day had begun, Hawke wrapped up the meeting with a tired expression upon her face. The others seemed just as exhausted as she was, so she decided to end it with no real resolutions set in stone. Aveline would speak to her guards about the impending visit from Tevinter soldiers and Isabela would sneak around the Gallows to see what she could hear about Orsino and Meredith. Varric would continue to look into the contracts that no one will take credit for. Sebastian would return to the Chantry and pray Hawke figured, and Anders decided he would speak with Merrill about blocking the tracking spell Danarius may have on Arielle. Everyone said their goodbyes as they headed to their own homes for some much needed sleep.

That left Hawke alone to deal with her newly acquired housemates; Fenris, his sister, and his old lover. For now she was left alone in the dining room with Fenris as the other two were thankfully still in their rooms. Hawke wondered how long Fenris was going to stare at her before saying something, but he remained quiet and seemed deep within his own thoughts as he had been for most of the meeting. She wished at this moment she had Arielle's talent for knowing how he was feeling. Inside she was a mess, but refused to let it show until she had some time to process all that had happened and everything that she heard. She suspected he had more to tell her, was certain Varania could fill in some gaps, but couldn't find the strength to go on this morning.

"I'm going to bed," Hawke stated as she pushed her chair out and stood up. "I am exhausted and probably had too much wine," she hinted at not wanting to have any deep discussion right now.

"You do not wish to talk," he stated to confirm her obvious position on the matter.

Hawke sighed, running her hand through her hair. "We've done enough talking for one day I think."

Fenris stood as she did and nodded, saying nothing more than "goodnight Hawke." Deep down he wanted to fold his arms around her until that sad expression left her eyes, but it was clear she wouldn't permit it at this moment. Instead he continued to look at her, wondering if there were any words in all of Thedas that could comfort her.

She waited, expecting him to say more, but he didn't as he remained still at the opposite end of the table. "Mothers room is made up for you," she finally told him as she walked out, letting it be known she would be sleeping alone. She hesitated at the base of the stairs, closed her eyes, and imagined him sweeping her off her feet to carry her upstairs, make love to her, and prove to her that she was his and his alone. But the harsh reality was he made no effort to follow her, so she ascended the steps in front of her alone.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris listened as Hawke's footsteps climbed the stairs to her bedroom and the door closed behind her. He grabbed a bottle of wine and retreated himself, but down the guest hall instead of upstairs to Leandra's room. He knocked softly at Arielle's door, heard movement a moment later, and then she opened the door and allowed him to enter.

Arielle sat on the head of the bed and crossed her legs as Fenris grabbed a chair and brought it closer to her. He sat down and opened the bottle of wine and then offered it to Arielle. To his surprise she accepted it; bringing the bottle to her lips and taking a long sip. Fenris couldn't help the small laugh as a reaction to the face she made; her nose scrunching up and lips slightly contorting, eyes squeezed shut as she shook her head. It was the first time she had tasted wine, or at least in her mind it was the first, and the fruity yet dry liquid warmed her throat. She handed the bottle back to him and he took it with one hand while leaning forward, grabbing her wrist with the other.

She was surprised by his sudden movement but allowed it as he placed the bottle on the floor. He continued to hold on to her as his other hand untied the cloth that Anders had wrapped her wounds with. With no further bleeding he could see clearly the four indented lines she had inflicted upon herself from her nails. Her skin was slightly raised around the marks, and he brushed his hand over them; a movement she didn't understand, but deep within his memory Fenris recalled doing this in another time and place.

He released the hold on her wrist and held his hand out for her other hand. She offered it to him and he repeated the process, removing the cloth and grazing her flesh with a gentle touch. In his memory her hands were uninjured as he traced the lines softly from the base of her fingers to her wrist. "Why did you do this," he wondered out loud without realizing, now holding both of her hands within his.

Arielle looked as well, curious why Fenris seemed fixated on the small injuries. "To focus on the pain," she replied.

"To remain in control," he corrected without thought, and she nodded in confirmation. "She didn't hurt you," he noted.

"No," Arielle informed him. "I absorbed her magic. Part of this," she said forming fists with her hands that he still held, "was dealing with the effects."

As if he just realized what he was doing, Fenris released her and retrieved the bottle of wine, taking another long sip before offering it to her again. She accepted, indulging in a smaller amount this time, and returned it to him.

She knew he wasn't here simply to share wine with her. Arielle could sense exactly what he was feeling, the waves of emotions pouring out of him. Confusion perhaps at his former self's motives and desperation to make things right for her, Hawke, and his sister. She could feel he was blaming himself for actions that he was no longer responsible for. There was an inner struggle she was familiar with of trying to remember; the only difference was he could and she couldn't. Arielle knew she needed to trust Fenris, trust Varania, to fill in the missing pieces for her.

"He really is my father," Arielle asked, needing to start somewhere in figuring out her past.

Fenris nodded but remained quiet, observing her body language and curious as to what her thoughts were at that moment. The more he looked at her, studied the contours of her cheeks, the color of her hair, the intensity of her eyes, he knew his sister was correct and his visions weren't just tricks of the mind. This was the woman from his dreams. She was the reason he became a slave. But what happened to make him abandon his family? How did the daughter of a magister fall in love with a slave? And what happened to her the night she was taken from him? More questions than answers it seemed, and Fenris grew more frustrated at himself for not knowing all the answers.

"I can tell you what little I know of him," Fenris offered.

Arielle wasn't certain she wanted to know. All she could recall now about Danarius was what she had endured while being with him in the last few weeks. Fenris had touched on his past with Danarius before, but now he was offering her more. Would it make a difference? Would knowing any more or less of the pain her father had inflicted on others change anything?

"No," she responded to herself as well as him. She saw no reason to put him through the pain of remembering that time in his life. Arielle had larger questions that she wanted answers to. "Tell me what you know about_ us_."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke stared at her reflection in the mirror for what seemed like an eternity, searching for answers from herself that just wouldn't come. As the day and nights events replayed in her mind, she forced her breath to remain steady. Her hands had begun shaking when she climbed the stairs to her bedroom, the lump in her throat and knots in her stomach tightened, and now that she was alone she feared the walls would come tumbling down at any moment.

_You left us for her. _Varania's words repeated in her mind, the look on the elf's face burned into her memory. Fenris had given up everything for Arielle; family, freedom, even his future. For a love that was apparently so strong it was breaking through the darkness of his mind, he was willing to lose it all for her. Hawke searched her own eyes in her reflection, wondering if their love was capable of the same.

Hawke pulled herself out of her thoughts long enough to begin preparing herself for bed. She pealed away the damaged clothing and studied the wound on her arm. She had forgotten all about it during the nights events until faced with having to tear her shirt away from the injury. A small curse escaped her lips as she reopened the wound when she pulled the sleeve away, and she decided to use the now destroyed shirt to apply pressure. She remembered Fenris' immediate concern when he saw she had been slightly wounded, and a smile dared to form from her lips. He cared, of course he did. She couldn't deny that. But where did his heart stand now?

Once the bleeding stopped again, Hawke cleaned herself up as much as her remaining energy would allow and dressed in her night clothes. Inches away from falling into her bed, a soft tapping at her door prevented her from falling into the blankets and drifting away. A long shallow sigh escaped her lips as Hawke redirected her feet to the door. She couldn't imagine who would be so cruel as to stop her from slipping away into blissful nothing. Slowly she opened the door just enough to identify them without offering any chance of entrance.

"I am sorry to disturb you mistress," came the soft innocent voice of Orana. Hawke's surprise was clear as the servant looked at the floor, clearly uneasy about intruding on her employers personal time and space.

"Orana," Hawke offered gently, "is everything alright?" The blond haired elf turned her gaze back up to Hawke. It was clear from her expression she had something on her mind, so Hawke invited her in to try and put her at ease.

They sat in the corner of Hawke's bedroom where Hawke usually spent time reading. Her servant sat with her usual perfect posture as Hawke took a more relaxed position. When she realized Orana was struggling with how to begin whatever it was she wanted to discuss, Hawke decided to began the conversation for her. "I'm sorry for all the chaos last night Orana," Hawke said truthfully, "I imagine it was as surprising to you as it was to us."

Orana nodded. "I try to stay out of the way," came the quiet response, "but sometimes I can't help but hear things."

Hawke chuckled in her exhaustion, "I'm sure you and Bodahn hear quite a lot. What's on your mind Orana? I can't recall you ever seeking me out in private to talk, so it must be something serious weighing heavily on you."

The elven woman nodded in response. "You have been so good to me," she began. "After Papa…" she trailed off, the sadness of her fathers death still close within her heart. "I have something to offer in return for your kindness."

Hawke gave her a curious glance. "What is it?"

Orana gathered her courage and revealed the secret she had held for the last few days. "I knew Arielle in Minrathous."


	22. The Woman in the Basement

Hawke waited for Orana to set the pace of the story, since it was the servant that had made the offer to share with her. She knew it probably wasn't easy for Orana to do so, and Hawke tried to hide the anticipation she was feeling at hearing what Orana had to say. "Let's start somewhere simple," Hawke offered. "I know you and your father worked for Hadriana. Could you start there?"

Orana nodded. "Yes, okay," she said as she gathered her thoughts. "Papa worked for Mistress Hadriana for as long as I can remember," Orana began. "Her home was huge and we even had our own room! Papa had me help him with the cleaning and Mistress was always very kind to me." She smiled at her memories. "She spent most of her time in the other part of the home that we weren't allowed in."

"Why weren't you allowed," Hawke inquired.

"That was her fathers," Orana said quietly.

"They shared a home together?"

Orana shook her head. "There were two separate homes but joined together within one large estate," Orana tried to explain. "The cellar underneath was just one big cellar but Mistress had her own entire home within her fathers. He had his own servants so we weren't required to go over there."

_Slaves, not servants_, Hawke thought to herself as she listened. "Did you see Fenris when you were there," she wondered out loud.

"No," Orana replied. "At least I don't think so. If I did I was too young to remember. We weren't permitted to speak with the other servants in the house. Hadriana said it was for our own good we didn't try to talk to them or visit with them."

"Did you ever see Hadriana's father," Hawke asked out of curiosity.

Orana shuddered slightly. "No. But a few times when Mistress returned from seeing him I had to assist her." She was saddened as she recalled some of those tense evenings. "Mistress wasn't treated well by him. She tried every day to please him but often I heard her crying when she was alone in her room. He would hit her," Orana revealed. "Those days Papa warned me to stay out of her way. She was less pleasant when that happened."

Hawke refused to feel sympathy for Hadriana, but was beginning to understand why she may have turned out the way she did. "Did Hadriana ever harm you or your father," Hawke dared to ask.

"Not until she killed Papa," Orana spoke solemnly. "I still don't understand why she did it."

Hawke wasn't sure how to comfort her, recalling the corpses Hadriana left in her wake the night they confronted her. So far Orana painted a tolerable environment to grow up in, even if she was a slave. The stories Fenris had told of Hadriana seemed much different than what Orana had experienced, and Hawke began to wonder why there was such a contrast of behavior.

"How is it you knew Arielle if the homes were separated," Hawke asked. "Did she visit Hadriana?"

The sorrow in Orana's eyes surprised Hawke as she waited for the story. "I didn't know her by that name," Orana explained. "At first I only knew her as the woman in the basement."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"_Orana my dear, when you are finished helping in the kitchen I would appreciate a moment alone with you," Hadriana said as she finished her meal and placed her napkin on the table._

"_Yes Mistress," Orana bowed as Hadriana got up from the table. She watched the tall woman disappear into the study, and then looked at her father in a panic. "Did I do something wrong Papa?"_

_Her father looked down on the young elf and shook his head. "I don't think so my dear," he said as he gathered some dishes to clear the table. "But we best get this cleaned up so you don't keep her waiting."_

_Orana helped her father as she wondered out loud, "she has never asked to speak with me before. If I have done something to upset her…"_

"_Quiet," her father scolded her. "You'll do no good with these thoughts in your head when you go to her. Just be on your best behavior and do as she asks. If she hears us discussing it we're both in trouble."_

_Orana didn't say another word as they finished cleaning the dining room and began to scrub the dishes. With each dish that was put away, the anticipation grew within her, and Orana felt the butterflies scurrying in her stomach. She ran through the past few days in her head wondering if she had missed something while cleaning, or misplaced something Hadriana may have been looking for._

_And with each step towards the study her nerves nearly overwhelmed her. When she entered the room Hadriana gestured for her to close the door, which Orana did so reluctantly. She then stood before her Mistress obediently as her father had taught her. "I'm sorry for the delay Mistress," she said to Hadriana, bowing slightly._

_Hadriana waved her hand at her, taking a long drawn out sip of her wine before speaking. "I call upon you for a favor Orana. And I must trust you to keep this quiet, even from your father."_

_Butterflies turned into bats. "Y..Yes Mistress. Anything Mistress."_

_Hadriana set her glass down and set her piercing ice cold blue eyes on the slave. "There is a woman in the cellar that I need you to look after. You must only go down there at midnight and see to it that she has been properly fed." Hadriana held out a key for Orana. "She is past the wine cellar at the end of the corridor, the last room on the left."_

_Orana's eyes widened. "But…"_

_Hadriana cut her off. "I would not put you in any danger," she attempted to calm the slave. "Under cover of night the cellars are empty throughout the estate. My father's…servants are kept within arms reach of him so you will not be discovered." Orana nodded, swallowing in an attempt to relieve the dryness in her mouth as her green eyes widened with every word. "You are never to speak to me of her unless the situation is dire, or unless I inquire. Do you understand?" __Orana nodded again and bowed, afraid to speak knowing her voice would fail her. She kept her stance from wavering by squeezing the key tightly within her hand. "If by chance you happen to get caught," Hadriana warned, "you will tell no one I asked this of you. Danarius cares little for her however, so again I assume you are in no danger." Hadriana reached for her glass of wine and Orana noticed her hand was slightly trembling. "She is my sister Orana," Hadriana admitted quietly, "I trust you with the life of the only thing in this world I care for."_

_Orana had never seen emotion like this from the woman before her, and the severity of the situation hit her hard. Danarius locking up his own daughter, his other forced to keep her alive behind his back. She was never more frightened in her life, and yet never more honored. "I will not let you down Mistress," Orana said in the hopes of bringing some comfort to her._

_Hadriana's eyes turned away from the elf and she finished her wine. "That will be all Orana," Hadriana resumed her normal tone of voice. _

_Orana bowed once more before exiting the study, and immediately ran to the open window to purge her evenings meal._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke had a very difficult time believing Hadriana had a heart when it came to anyone but herself. But the way Orana explained the scene caused her to wonder yet again why Hadriana didn't just help her sister escape. "Did you tell your father," Hawke asked her.

Orana gasped. "No," she said adamantly, "I would never betray a responsibility like this. I only tell you now because Hadriana is dead and her sister here."

"You are very loyal Orana," Hawke offered kindly, "I am thankful you are here."

Orana smiled brightly. "Thank you Mistress."

Hawke leaned back in the chair, no longer feeling as exhausted as she was now that she was finally getting some answers. "So how soon did you start going to the cellars?"

"That night," Orana told her. "I forgot to ask but couldn't once I had left so I decided it was better to go just in case."

Hawke imagined she would've done the same. "And that's when you met Arielle?"

Orana's eyes got that far away look as she remembered her first night delving into the basement. "And the others," she shuddered from the memory.

_The cellars were unkept past the wine cellar. A small door led her to a long stone corridor with over a dozen doors on each side. The smell of rot and urine overwhelmed her as a gasp escaped her lips. Whimpers and scratching sounds echoed throughout the filthy walls as Orana lifted the lantern she was holding to get a better look. The first two doors she passed by were pitch black inside, but she could see bloodied fingers clawing at the stone floor under the door. Slow back and forth movements of their nails as if they were trying to dig their way out of their cells._

_Orana moved quickly past them as a whisper caught her attention from the third door. "Help me," the voice begged over and over again, so hoarsely Orana wasn't certain if it was a man or a woman. The fourth door she heard someone clearly thumping their head against the wall, and the fifth had muttering in a language she had never heard. Six, seven, eight, twelve doors she hurried by, each with its own horror story within. It wasn't until the fifteenth door that Orana screamed as a hand reached through the small bars and tried to grab her. _

_She hurried down the remaining corridor until she reached the last door on the left as Hadriana instructed. She waited a few minutes to make sure her scream wasn't heard by anyone before she stood on the tips of her toes to glance through the bars into the cell._

_A small figure was huddled in the corner, face towards the wall and back facing Orana. She kept an eye on the woman as she inserted the key into the lock and turned it slowly, the click echoing in the hall. Orana opened the door as slowly as she could to prevent the inevitable screech of the rusted metal hinges as she entered the cell. She set the lantern on the ground and knelt down beside the woman, resting her hand on her back._

_The woman didn't move when she was touched, didn't look up to see who had entered the room, and made no sound except for soft quiet sobs. Orana wasn't certain what she was expected to do, if she was even permitted to speak to the woman, or if she was supposed to offer her food and leave. Knowing she couldn't ask Hadriana anything further on the matter, Orana decided she had to offer this woman something more than rations to survive. "I have something for you to eat," Orana whispered, afraid the other prisoners might hear her. She removed a cloth with some meat and bread from the evenings meal and offered it to Hadriana's sister._

_The food was accepted as reddened blue eyes finally looked towards Orana. "Did Leto send you?" she asked softly, bruised hands unwrapping the cloth of food._

"_I'm sorry," Orana shifted uncomfortably in her kneeling position, "I do not know who that is. My name is Orana."_

_The disappointment was clear as shoulders sagged, but the woman began eating the food as if she hadn't eaten in days. A loud scream startled Orana from the hall; some other prisoner crying out to anyone that may hear them. Orana shivered in the cold and from fear, and surprisingly the imprisoned woman tried to offer her some comfort. "You get used to it," she said in a hoarse whisper. "They all stop screaming eventually."_

_Orana's eyes widened even further, wishing she was back in the comfort of her room with her Papa. "I can bring you more food tomorrow," she offered as she stood reaching for the lantern._

_A quick hand grabbed her wrist and a startled shreak escaped her. "Please don't go," the woman asked of Orana. Her face was clear now in the light, and Orana noticed a large bruise to her right cheek surrounding a large gash under her eye. "My name is Vasilia," she told Orana. "I need your help to get out of here."_

_Orana pulled away from her. "I can not help you," she advised her, "I am only to bring you food and make sure you are well."_

_Vasilia laughed deliriously. "Do I look like I am well?" Desperation filled her eyes as she continued to look up at Orana who was attempting to back away out of the room. "I was torn away from my lover and thrown down here by my father! Please, you must find Leto, tell him I am here!" _

_Orana took a quick step back and Vasilia lunged at her, but failed to grasp her from the weakness of her legs. She fell to her knees, scraping them on the stone floor. "Please, please find him," Vasilia kept repeating long after Orana had left the cell and locked the door._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"I could hear her pleading as I ran back down the corridor," Orana recalled as her eyes watered. "But I couldn't help her." She turned to Hawke. "I wanted to, really I did."

"I'm sure," Hawke comforted Orana as she placed a hand on hers. "It was a difficult position Hadriana put you in. If you did help her, you and your father would be in danger."

Orana nodded. "The next night I didn't enter the cell. For the next week I put the food through the bars and left without saying anything. I was afraid she would try to grab me again and then I would get caught. So I left her alone." Orana recalled each night walking through that long dark hall, some familiar noises and cries, and then the new ones that replaced those who disappeared. "On the seventh night she wasn't there."

Hawke was finding herself unable to separate her emotions from the story as her heart began to beat a little faster in anticipation of what was next. "What happened to her?"

Orana shook her head. "I don't know. She was back on the eighth night, and I had to enter her cell because she wasn't moving. I thought maybe she was dead. I put the food down where I usually threw it but she remained still. When I walked over to her she was curled up so tight I wasn't sure what had happened. I couldn't see where she was hurt and she wouldn't talk to me."

Hawke wasn't certain she wanted to know what had happened then, but what Orana explained next was not what she had expected to hear, or even wanted to imagine.

"She didn't say anything for days; she stayed in the same position, didn't even move to use the chamber pot. She was filthy, hadn't touched her food, and it was clear no one had come to see her except for me. I kept taking the old food and replacing it with new, hiding it behind some stones so no one saw. She was shivering from what I thought was a fever; her skin was clammy and her lips lost their color. It wasn't until I told her I was getting a healer that she finally spoke and begged me not to get anyone. I told her I was going to have to get someone unless she told me what happened."

"And judging by your expression, she told you," Hawke observed.

Orana seemed reluctant to continue but confirmed with Hawke that she knew. "Yes," she uttered quietly, as if ashamed for having the knowledge.

Hawke struggled to keep her patience when Orana didn't continue. "What did she tell you Orana?" Hawke prompted again.

Orana stood and turned away from Hawke, unable to look her in the eye as she continued the story. "She told me she was forced to watch her lover die," she spoke softly as Hawke leaned forward to hear her. "Her father brought her into a large stone room. Blood stained the floor and corpses littered the corners. In the center of the room her lover was secured to a table with chains, and she said when he saw her he began screaming her name." Orana couldn't control the tears that were beginning to fall, and Hawke's bottom lip was quivering as well. "She tried to run to him, calling for him not to leave her, but her father's guards would hit her each time she said a word. Several men were in the room, all tearing into his flesh with knives. As one would open his skin, another would place some kind of clamp inside the wound to hold it open, and her father poured something into him." Orana wiped her nose with her sleeve but continued. "She said they did this over and over, and each time he would continue to cry out her name, until eventually he stopped screaming. His head turned to look at her and then his eyes closed, and she said she knew in her heart he had died."

Hawke covered her face with her hands, emotions and exhaustion fighting their way to the surface. She couldn't imagine witnessing this torment, this torture, or hearing her own name on the lips of someone she loved enduring so much pain. Images flashed in her mind of her Fenris, not Leto, screaming for her while she was held helpless to save him. Watching the life leave his eyes, only knowing he'd eventually wake up and have no memory of her or their love. To be so alone, so empty, so cold inside after watching the person you love destroyed by your own father, Hawke couldn't even imagine living after being witness to something so horrible.

It was only when Orana finally turned to her and said, "that was Master Fenris, wasn't it," that the walls came crashing down around her, and Hawke could hold it in no longer. Orana immediately moved to her and brought her arms around her as Hawke could do nothing but cry, whispering Fenris' name.


	23. Freedom

Hawke had no concept of the time when she awoke. The curtains were drawn by some power she didn't recall, and her room was pitch black. She stumbled out of bed and moved towards the window, cursing loudly as she banged a toe into the chair. Slowly she peaked behind the curtain only to be blinded by the sun, and she squinted her eyes upwards in an attempt to discover the time of day.

Late afternoon already. Hawke shook her head as she opened her room up completely to the light and managed her way towards her wardrobe closet. She thought for a moment on what she had to do today, and cursed to herself again when she remembered a meeting with King Alistair. Fancy armor day she realized, wondering exactly where she had put her less worn leathers. For now she threw on whatever clothes were in reach and made her way downstairs.

Orana greeted her in the kitchen as she was cleaning up from the late lunch the others indulged in. "Am I the last one awake," Hawke inquired as she rubbed her eyes.

Orana smiled and bowed to her when she entered. "Good morning," she called, annoyingly chipper Hawke thought. "Master Fenris and his sister took their meal into her room not long ago. I haven't seen Mistress Arielle yet." Orana lowered her voice slightly, "are you well Mistress?"

Hawke managed a half smile as she retrieved a glass and filled it with water. "As soon as I wake up and figure that out I will let you know."

Orana continued to smile as she went back to cleaning. Hawke sat down at the small table in her kitchen, and sighed as she heard someone knocking at the front door. Apparently two minutes of peace and quiet was too much to ask for, as Bodhan entered the kitchen moments later announcing Anders arrival.

"Good, you're awake," he said as he entered briskly. Orana bowed to Anders and left the kitchen giving the two their privacy.

"It's all an illusion Anders," Hawke uttered sarcastically, "I'm not _really_ here; I'm still in my comfortable bed with no responsibilities, or title, or visitors."

Anders wasn't paying attention to her usual snarkyness as he focused on the wound on her arm. "When did this happen?"

Hawke looked at her arm as if she forgot the injury was there. "Yesterday I think? What day is it? Don't fuss, it's nothing."

"Nothing becomes something when not treated," Anders scowled as he began focusing his magic on her arm. She put her head down and relaxed under the warmth of his touch as he healed her. "I can't believe you didn't say something earlier. I was here all night and morning."

Hawke turned her head and glared at him. "Please don't lecture me," she begged.

Anders placed his hand under her chin and lifted her head. "Did you get any sleep at all?" he asked with concern, noticing her puffy eyes.

"A little," she managed to get out before he placed his hand on her cheek and began focusing his energy on the pockets below her eyes. "I stubbed my toe if you want to fix that too while you're at it."

Anders ignored her attempts at humor as he watched the swelling dissipate from her face. "You're deflecting," he said as he brought his other hand to her cheek, cradling her face in his palms. For several seconds he focused on her eyes, removing all signs of the hours of crying he knew she had done. Hawke closed her eyes under his touch as his thumbs brushed her cheekbones softly.

Without warning Anders back stiffened as he felt a familiar song begin to form in his mind. _She_ was near, he could feel the intensity get stronger with each passing second. A noise by the entrance to the kitchen startled them, and both Anders and Hawke turned to see Arielle standing in the doorway. Neither were certain how long she had been there, but Anders immediately felt an uncomfortable wave of disappointment projecting from her. He quickly withdrew his hands from Hawke's face as if he were just caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing, and began fumbling through his pouch.

Hawke looked at Anders curiously, wondering why he seemed suddenly embarrassed to have been touching her. "Hello Arielle," Hawke said over Anders shoulder acknowledging her presence. Anders looked up at Arielle and smiled sheepishly. Hawke tried to rescue him from his obvious discomfort. "Thank you Anders," she said honestly, "without you that headache never would've went away."

Anders handed her a vile from his pouch. "This should help as well," he said to her as he gave her a soft grin of thanks.

Hawke's healed eyes now widened. "Stamina potion? Oh _Maker_ Anders you sure know the way to a girl's heart." Hawke immediately opened the vial and devoured its contents, and within seconds she began to feel like her normal self. She glanced back to Arielle who was still standing in the entranceway. "Arielle, there's some food leftover from lunch if you're hungry."

Arielle shook her head at the offer but remained silent, eyes fixated on Anders.

Hawke looked from Arielle to Anders and began to wonder if there wasn't something more going on with these two than she was aware of. Anders met Arielle's intent stare and his eyes softened a bit. "Hawke," he said without looking away from Arielle, "is there any objection to Arielle returning to the clinic with me?"

Hawke shrugged, still studying the body language between them. "I have no objection if Arielle wishes to go. I will be leaving shortly myself." She thought about it some more. "In fact, it's probably best you do so. It'll give Fenris some time alone with his sister and I won't have to worry about any further confrontations."

Anders finally turned away from Arielle. "I still need to speak with Merrill, it might be easier if Arielle came with me."

Hawke didn't feel comfortable with that. "I need to pick up Varric. I can ask Merrill to come see you while I'm in Lowtown. I'd prefer Arielle stay out of the streets until we have a handle on those men from Tevinter."

Anders nodded in agreement. "We'll use your entrance to the clinic then." He asked Arielle, "are you ready?"

Arielle turned and headed towards the vault without uttering a single word, and Hawke grabbed Anders arm before he followed. "What's going on with you two?"

Anders shrugged. "What do you mean?"

Hawke searched his expression for the answers he obviously wasn't going to give, but she still couldn't figure out what he was covering up, if anything. She wondered if she was being overly sensitive from all she had heard this morning, or from lack of sleep, so she released him without another word about it. "Never mind. Just be careful. It's your heart you know who will rip out if anything happens to her."

Anders rolled his eyes and exited the kitchen, leaving Hawke alone with her thoughts.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Arielle took the lead to the clinic as Anders followed. She remained silent as she descended the stairs, Anders watching from behind as she maneuvered her way through halls and down steps. When they reached the clinic Arielle waited as Anders unlocked the door and opened it for her to enter.

When she passed by him he needed a moment to gather his strength, as if her presence alone was sucking the energy out of him. It didn't last more than a few seconds, but he remained another minute contemplating what he was feeling. Again the absence of Justice was astonishing to him, and Anders decided it was time he confront Arielle.

He entered his side room where Arielle was seated on his cot, legs crossed and staring intently at him. Anders felt as if each step closer to her would be his undoing, so he kept his distance, choosing to lean against the wall a few feet away. "I believe you have some explaining to do," he said to her without holding back.

Arielle now looked in her lap, feeling scolded by his statement. "I'm sorry," she began. "I had to get out of there."

Anders immediately felt guilty when he saw her expression change, but stood his ground as much as possible. "How did you do it," he asked her for answers again. "I knew exactly what you wanted me to say to Hawke, as if you were in my mind telling me what to do. How?"

Arielle leaned back against the wall. "I think we're still connected in some way," she speculated. "I knew I could speak to you without saying a word. I just _knew _it. So I tried it."

"This stems from the exchange of power," Anders assumed, referring to when he healed Fenris. "I have felt different around you since that day as well."

Arielle shrugged. "Danarius always knew what I was thinking or what I was feeling. It works both ways." She moved over on the bed to make room for him. "Try it."

Anders shook his head. "I don't know if that's such a good idea," he said hesitantly. But when her blue eyes looked softly upon him, he felt his apprehension vanish. He walked towards the bed and sat on the edge. "How," he asked.

Arielle took a breath and tried to alter any projecting she may have been doing without realizing. "Follow the flow of energy that is between us. You know it's there, find it and follow it," she instructed. "It should lead you where you need to go."

Being a mage he knew all too well how to manipulate and follow energy, so he went with what he was familiar with and did what she said. He focused on the humming vibration within him that he knew was from her, and closed his eyes. He reached out into the darkness until he saw the dim light that represented her energy and redirected his attention towards it. As it grew in intensity in his mind, he began to feel emotions and thoughts that he knew weren't his own. In an instant he knew exactly what she was feeling. "You're angry," he said as he opened his eyes.

Arielle seemed surprised he was able to pick up on it, but smiled at his accomplishment. She reached for his hands and held them within her own. He immediately felt the power flowing between them, only it was different than the first time she had offered it to him. Her skin tingled the nerves in his fingers, and his senses heightened beyond anything he had ever experienced. "Close your eyes," she whispered, and he did so. "Now see if you can tell me _why_ I am angry."

He continued along the established path in his mind and searched for the answer to her question. She was completely open to him, all her thoughts and emotions were, and it took little effort on his part to discover the reasons behind her anger and frustration. He pulled his hands away from her once he found the answer, breaking the connection in his mind out of fear and respect. He didn't want to cross any boundaries with the trust she had given him, as the temptation to explore the core of her was overwhelming. "You believe Hawke and Fenris know more than what they are telling you."

Arielle nodded. "They have knowledge of my past but will not offer it to me," she said, voice becoming stronger. "Yes, I am angry. It is, or was, my life. Do I not have a right to know?"

Anders wasn't sure what to say to her. "Of course you have that right," he tried. "Have you spoken to them about it?"

"I asked Fenris this morning to share with me what he knew about us, and he refused," she said, anger beginning to reveal itself in her tone. "His excuse was not knowing all of the answers yet, but I know he already knows more than he admits. Her too, this morning it poured off her with little prying on my part. They both claim to care yet refuse to treat me as if I have a mind of my own." Arielle retreated from the cot and began wandering the small room. "Am I really that fragile that I must constantly be handled as if I will break?" She directed her gaze towards him now. "That I need permission from some strangers to walk the streets of this city?"

Her energy was overwhelming Anders, and he was thankful that Justice seemed blocked by her presence. If he were around, Anders knew he'd have no control over his actions at the pure anger Arielle was projecting at this moment. Anders opened his mouth to try and say something to comfort her, but she continued. "He claims I am no longer a slave, but I have been trapped since I was brought here! This is no freedom. She restricts my movements, my talents, and despises me for a past I can not recall. A past that_ he_ knows and refuses to share with me. The two of them are perfect for each other, lying to everyone including themselves."

Anders stood up and went to her, stopping her incessant pacing by holding her still. "They care for you," he tried gently, "they only want what's best for you."

"And what about what I want," Arielle questioned him, "no one bothers to ask and they are so quick to assume."

He searched her eyes before asking, his body dangerously close to hers, "and what is it that you want?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but the flow of energy between them overwhelmed her as well, and before she knew what was happening her lips were pressed against his. Anders responded immediately, his tongue gently stroking her full lower lip before claiming her with an intensity he never knew was within him. Arielle slid her hand up his back and tunneled her fingers in his hair as he brought his hands to her face, holding her as he devoured the heat within her mouth. Need and want went from his mind to his body, waves of passion tightening every muscle. Desire burned in his veins, raw and all too strong. His lust for her had begun since she had first opened up to him, since he had seen her bare breasts as she offered him her energy, and now she was within his grasp. He felt starved, a man possessed, craving her with every fiber of his being.

And when she touched his face, his body reacted with brutal, painful force, filling his groin, pounding and aching with demand. Her mouth trembled beneath his tongue but she didn't pull away, exploring him as much as he was exploring her. She felt through their connection how much he wanted her, how much he needed her, and how desperate he was to touch her.

His heart sank the moment she pulled away, until he realized she was removing her shirt. Again he was presented with her flesh, and this time he took a moment to appreciate her beauty. She stood still, allowing his eyes to explore, knowing he had resisted the last time he saw her like this. He dared to bring a hand to her chest, softly caressing the markings on her collarbone. "Is there still pain," he asked of her as his thumb moved along each line slowly, searching her face for signs of discomfort. Her skin was no longer plagued by blisters thanks to the salve he had given her, but some of her markings were still raised from the flesh they invaded.

She placed her hand over his and once again opened herself up to him. "Feel me," she whispered closing her eyes. "Know what your touch feels like to me."

He followed her lead and closed his own eyes, placing both of his hands now on her shoulders. His thumbs worked along the markings on her upper chest, and he searched for her within his mind. The connection was there easily now, and with each movement of his hand he could feel the reaction he was having on her.

Her mouth found his once again, pressing her entire body against his as she kissed him. They felt the combined sensations through one another, their connection allowing both their own sensations as well as the others. It was an intoxicating feeling to Anders; the softness of her skin under his grasp combined with feeling his own fingers through her senses. Painful anticipation grew in his groin as he imagined what it would be like to be buried deep within her and be able to feel what she felt at the same moment.

There was no need to ask her if she was certain she wanted to do this. He just _knew_, within her mind and his own, that she was as desperate for this as he was. She wanted to taste that freedom she was told she had, she wanted to share her body willingly instead of having it taken from her, and she needed to prove to herself that her life was now her own to do with as she pleased.

He was more than willing to help her.


	24. Kings and Blood Mages

Hawke was thankful Merrill was at the Hanged Man with Varric when she arrived; it would save her precious time before meeting with King Alistair, a meeting she was already dangerously close to being late for. The nerves of the dark haired elf caused Hawke to groan slightly as she panicked about going to Darktown alone. A little encouragement from Varric convinced her she was more than capable, and Merrill was on her way.

Isabela came downstairs moments later, and Hawke couldn't help the gasp of surprise at what the pirate was wearing. "Are you feeling alright," Hawke asked with concern as she circled the woman, checking her out from all angles. "And how in the Makers name did you get into this?"

"Wow Rivaini," Varric said in disbelief, "I hardly recognized you with half your body covered. I'm with Hawke, you feeling ill?"

Isabela put her hand on her hip and frowned at the both of them. "I'll have you know, this is exactly what I wore the first time I met Alistair. I just wanted to make sure he'd remember me."

"Isabela," Hawke said in a motherly tone, "you are hardly a woman men are capable of forgetting. I don't think you needed to get dolled up in armor to see the King."

Isabela shrugged, pushing her breasts up a bit over the top of the leather tunic. "Well then let's get into a fight afterwards so this outfit isn't wasted. We're always going on about cleaning up the streets at night, it's been a while since we've done that."

Hawke laughed. "Probably because it is no longer worth killing thirty people for one blighted sovereign. It cost me more to repair my armor."

"But if we kill them we get their stuff!" she exclaimed, and then stuck her nose in the air. "Oh that's right, Miss Champion no longer needs the coin," she poked. "I enjoyed those nights so much though, the good old days, rummaging through crates and barrels and sacks for all sorts of things to sell."

Hawke rolled her eyes as she exited the tavern with her friends in tow. "Fine, nostalgia night it is. We'll visit the King and then find some gangs to hunt."

Varric chuckled. "Bianca likes that idea," he stated. "So does my coin purse."

"Really," Hawke looked down at the dwarf. "You too?"

Varric shrugged. "What can I say, I've missed you Hawke."

She laughed at the both of them as they made their way through Lowtown, and for a moment Hawke pretended it _was_ just like old times. Before the complications of her relationship, before it seemed everyone in Kirkwall either wanted something from her or wanted her dead. These days her brain and body were in overdrive, and she wondered just how much more she could handle before she completely broke.

"I have some news," Isabela offered, oblivious to Hawke's internal realization of her limits. "Alfora and I were up most of the day discussing the events in Minrathous."

Hawke groaned, wishing she had never gone to the city. "Other than the meeting of the blood minds?"

Isabela smiled at the irony. "_About_ the meeting of the blood minds. This isn't the first time the magister's have all gathered together in the city."

Hawke shrugged, waiting for the point Isabela was trying to make. "Danarius is the head crazy as far as we know, why wouldn't he have several get togethers with other powerful blood mages?"

Isabela seemed annoyed that Hawke wasn't letting her get to the good part of her story. "Several years ago they had joined together like this and shut down the city," she continued. "Right around the time a certain lyrium elf we know would've received his markings."

Hawke couldn't help but remember what she had just heard from Orana, the brutal way in which the ritual was described to her. Orana had mentioned there was more than Danarius present when Fenris received his markings, at least from what Arielle had told her. "Go on," Hawke pushed.

"Well, two months ago Danarius shut down the city again, after he received word that his daughter had been murdered." Isabela watched Hawke intently for her reaction as she continued. "He only opened the gates for a very morbid memorial service, and vowed revenge on the person responsible for her death."

Hawke was confused and a bit angry, "Alfora didn't think this was important to mention when we were there?"

Isabela defended her friend. "How was she supposed to know we had any part in that? She didn't even mention it until I told her Arielle was his daughter. Then when she told me this, all the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place."

"So evil Daddy didn't know Hadriana was dead until two months ago?" Varric asked.

"Apparently not," Isabela replied. "And no more than three days after his gruesome memorial service of anger and vows of revenge, the magister's came to the city again." Hawke's eyes widened as she figured out what Isabela was trying to say. "Now you see where I'm going with this?"

Hawke almost felt sick to her stomach as she began to answer the questions in her mind. "Arielle's markings were part of that revenge," Hawke realized out loud. "Fenris took Hadriana from Danarius, so he finally took Arielle from Fenris."

"Bingo," Isabela exclaimed. "Qunari weapon my ass," she spat, "I think there's an entirely different purpose to Arielle we haven't figured out yet."

"Or are just beginning to," Varric wondered. "You did say it was entirely too easy getting her out of the city…"

Hawke didn't want to know where his mind was going. "What, you think we were meant to find her and bring her back here? Danarius doesn't know me or Isabela, how could he have set up such a scheme? And does he even know Fenris is the one responsible?"

Varric shrugged. "Hadriana was sent here by him to find Fenris. Then she's dead. How did he know she was dead? Who knows. How did they know Fenris was here? I don't know. We don't know. Damned if the Ancestors, Creators, or the Maker knows. All I know is Bianca's getting' twitchy."

"All I know is my headache is returning," Hawke muttered as they climbed the stairs to Hightown. "Thankfully I have the distraction of a King to look forward to."

"Mmmm," Isabela purred, "he's a handsome King too."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Arielle browsed the shelves in the clinic, smelling different potions and ingredients. She tried to distract herself by studying the contents of his clinic, running a hand along the books that were scattered on his desk, and perusing the disheveled papers strewn about. She couldn't understand the words that were written, but she focused on the penmanship; the curves and dots and the way he crossed out things he had written. She wondered what it was he said among the pages, stacks of them overcrowding his workspace.

Anders was still sound asleep in his bed, his deep breathing a calming rhythm for her to focus on. She watched him for a time, the way his chest would rise and fall under the sheet he was wrapped in. Arielle had retreated from the bed and dressed as soon as he fell asleep. The arm he had lazily thrown across her when he nodded off seemed suffocating, and she didn't last more than five minutes without an overwhelming need to be free of him.

This confused her as well. She had been witness to several of Hawke and Fenris' interactions; they seemed unable to keep their hands off each other at times. And only an hour ago she had felt the same towards Anders; the need to touch him, the desire for him to touch her, it consumed her every thought until they acted on it. But once he fell asleep, and their connection severed by his unconsciousness, she felt trapped under the weight of his arm. Arielle knew where that fear within her came from; she always felt like that after Danarius had his way with her and insisted she lay with him until morning, wrapping his arm and leg over her so she couldn't get away.

A soft knock at the clinic door brought her out of her thoughts and caused Anders to stir. When his eyes opened and he realized she was no longer beside him, he scanned the room in a panic as he got out of bed. He saw her standing near the desk and his heart relaxed its pace a little, until he realized he could no longer _feel_ her. "Are you alright," he asked as he hastily put his robes on, taking a moment to caress her cheek with the back of his hand.

She nodded and offered him a weak smile while keeping an eye on the door. "She's a blood mage," Arielle spoke, surprising Anders with her bluntness and ability to sense Merrill.

Anders had no problem making the elf wait as he questioned Arielle. "You aren't fearful of her? When we first met," he shuddered at the memory, Arielle unable to breath and clutching to Fenris, "you were terrified."

"I don't think it was you so much as your…companion," Arielle mused. And as she thought on it, wondered out loud, "I haven't felt him in a while."

"I meant to address that with you," Anders remembered, "but we got...distracted."

Arielle smiled at his lack of a better word. "This blood mage," she reminded him, "this is a friend of yours?"

Anders snuffled. "I do not approve of blood magic," he said harshly. "She endangers all of those around her with what she does," he continued. "But Hawke took her in so I am forced to tolerate her."

Arielle continued to glare at the unopened door as the soft tapping came again. "I am beginning to learn Hawke has a bad habit of picking up strays that don't belong to her," she stated angrily, drawing a surprised glance from Anders as he approached the door.

"I'm sorry I'm so late," Merrill apologized when he allowed her in, "I still get a little lost in Darktown."

Arielle looked from Merrill to Anders, clearly having no faith in this elf's abilities to help her. Her defiant and angry mood continued to fuel her actions as Arielle decided to pry a little further into the blood mage. While Anders and Merrill began with pleasantries of their greeting, Arielle focused her energy on the emotions and feelings of the visiting elf.

She was surprised to find very little malicious intent within the blood mage. Naïve. Lost. No real place in this world. Struggling to fit in. Alone. Arielle held on to the desk to support herself as she felt a little weak from the overwhelming emotion she was tapping into. She found darkness in the mage as well, and dared to follow it further. Determination, consequences be damned, the elf had an underlying need to prove she was right. Everyone would see her for her greatness, would appreciate all she had done. Arielle closed her eyes, focusing harder, following the feeling until she was met with dark eyes staring back at her. A Pride Demon.

She gasped as she quickly cut the connection, Anders rushing to her side as she faltered. He helped her to sit at the desk, the concern from him washing over her. "What happened," he questioned, searching her eyes for an explanation as he knelt in front of her.

Arielle didn't take her eyes off Merrill though, and the elf blushed under the scrutiny of the stare. _She works with a demon_, Arielle reconnected with Anders and said to him in his mind. The reconnection nearly overpowered him; her thoughts, emotions, fear, and the soft melodic hum he had begun to crave had washed over him all at once. He had no idea how to respond back to her, but tried to assure her with a squeeze of her hand that he was aware of Merrill's darker activities.

"Is she alright," Merrill called nervously from the entrance to the clinic.

Anders stood and took both of Arielle's hands, helping her stand to make the introductions. "She's a little sensitive around mages," Anders offered vaguely. "Merrill, I'd like you to meet Arielle."

Merrill bowed slightly to Arielle but said nothing, still feeling a bit uncomfortable as Arielle continued to look at her wearily. "Hawke said you needed my help," Merrill focused on Anders, trying not to think of the piercing blue eyes on her. "What can I do?"

Anders locked the doors to the clinic and moved them to his seating area. "We believe there's some sort of tracking spell that someone is using to find Arielle." Anders hated himself for his next question. "We were wondering if there was something you could do to break it, or block it."

"Oh," she said looking nervously from Anders to Arielle, and then away from them both. "I can try, I guess, but it's not something I have done before."

Anders shifted uncomfortably, despising himself even more for resorting to, even encouraging, blood magic. "What do you need?"

Merrill seemed more nervous than usual at the question, almost afraid to answer. But they knew what they were asking for she assumed, so she told him. "Her blood."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Let me guess, that's your final answer?" Hawke, Isabela, Varric, and Aveline, whom they picked up before the meeting at the Keep, entered the room to find the King engaged in a heated discussion with none other than Knight Commander Meredith.

"Three mages have fled to Ferelden," Meredith said angrily, "and you have intervened to protect them, as if it your right to do so!" She stood firm and unwavering. "What other answer did you expect, Your Majesty?"

Hawke wasn't certain how the rest of the conversation played out, as she was fixated on the sword strapped to the Knight Commanders back. She seemed too angry to even notice they had entered, so Hawke nudged Varric so he could take a look. A soft "humph" escaped his lips as he noticed as well; the red lyrium runes along the blades hilt. The others in the party followed Hawke's eyes and their own widened; the ugly truth in front of them.

Meredith left without even a glance in their direction, and Hawke was grateful there would be no confrontation with her today. She stood in front of a slightly embarrassed King and offered her greetings. "How do you do, Your Majesty?" Isabela wasn't wrong when she said he was a handsome King.

"I've been better," he said shrugging. "Manlier too come to think of it."

The man beside the King, the "uncle, sort of" named Teagan made the introductions. Aveline got to one knee and bowed to her King. "Your Majesty, may I say, what an honor it is to meet you."

"Well you could," he offered a half smile, "but you'd be the first today." As Aveline and the King shared a brief remembrance of Ostagar, a battle Hawke wasn't a part of, she took the time to study the new King. While her heart would always be in Ferelden, it was difficult to imagine going back there now. And this man, seemingly kind hearted and a bit jovial, made her very curious as to what life in Ferelden would be like under his rule.

The loud purring behind her shook her out of her homeland memory as Isabela addressed Alistair. "So, you're a King now," she said with wide eyes. "My, something new to brag about."

He obviously remembered her, as a sheepish grin widened on his face. "Ah Isabela, yes I remember_ you_."

She laughed at him and tossed her hair back, displaying her heaving chest. "I suppose borrowing you for the summer is out now?" The shades of red the King's face turned was apparently hysterical to Varric, who chuckled respectively behind Hawke. King Alistair stumbled on whatever words he was about to say next, unable to speak at Isabela's forwardness.

Isabela's smile quickly turned to a scowl however, and Hawke stared at her questioningly as she began to scan the room. "Oh you little shit," Isabela blurted out.

Hawke gasped, assuming Isabela was referring to the King. Aveline nearly kicked the pirate, until she began strangely sniffing the air like a mabari. "I should've known," she continued, walking past the King and searching behind him. "Where are you hiding?"

A hearty chuckle came from the shadows behind them, and they all turned around to see a golden skinned elf with sun-kissed hair walk towards them. "If it isn't my favorite pirate wench," the distractingly beautiful accent called. Isabela nearly ran the party over as she jumped into the elf's arms and planted a large kiss on his lips.

"Friend of yours," Hawke deduced as the elf swung the pirate around before placing her back on the ground.

Alistair pouted at his secret protection being so easily detected. "How did you know," he asked when the two joined the group.

Isabela laughed. "I can smell that Antivan leather anywhere. Everyone, this is Zevran, and old,_ old_ friend."

Zevran bowed to the party. "My my Isabela, such delicious company you keep," he said eyeing Hawke up and down, undressing her with his eyes. "Tell me, is this one as adventurous as our dear Warden?"

"We could always ask," Isabela suggested as she turned to Hawke.

The King cleared his throat behind them. "Oh no you two don't, not again."

"Fine fine," Isabela said grabbing Zevran's hand. "Looks like it's just us."

Aveline's face was as red as her hair with anger. "You will not disrespect the King in this manner."

Isabela brushed her off though, sending a knowing look to Alistair. "Oh he's not disrespected, trust me. He's too busy remembering the last time we were all together. Ciao!" Her and Zevran took off running from the Keep, Hawke and the others left winded in their wake.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders applied pressure to the reopened wound. Arielle had refused to allow the blood mage to touch her, and Anders cringed the entire time he was forced to drag the knife across her hand. Power lingered beneath the surface of her skin, he could feel it, and her markings began to hum louder in his mind as she was fixated on Merrill's actions. A soft glow rose from them as well, and he could see she was focused intently on her breathing in an attempt to remain in control.

The sight of the blood magic spell Merrill was doing seemed to stir unpleasant memories within the former slave, and Anders did his best to offer comfort to her through his mind and his touch. She watched as Merrill mixed her blood with some ingredients Anders had provided for her, the elf gazing into the bowl looking for answers the others couldn't see.

When energy flowed from Merrill's hands without warning, Arielle stiffened, her markings grew brighter, and Anders stood to move in front of her blocking her view. "You have to calm down," Anders warned, feeling consumed as well from her power. He brought his hand to her chin and lifted her face to his. "Forget what she is doing," he said softly, staring into her eyes. "Focus on me instead."

Arielle struggled against him for a moment, terrified to close her eyes and not know what the blood mage was doing, but she felt better once she redirected her attention to him. He held her hands close to his chest as she drifted into her mind, following his energy and allowing it to enfold her. Her breathing became more natural and less controlled, and her markings returned to their dormant state. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, her control becoming easier with his help. Anders returned her smile and bent down to brush her forehead with his lips, nearly forgetting Merrill was still in the room.

"This can't be," Merrill uttered, swirling the bowl containing Arielle's blood around in circles. "I don't understand."

While it killed Anders to pull away from Arielle, he had little choice at the confusion behind him. He turned and asked her to elaborate. "Is there a problem?"

Merrill shook her head. "I'm sure I did it right, it had to be right, but it's wrong somehow. I don't get it."

"Merrill," Anders called her name forcefully. "What are you talking about?"

She sat back in frustration. "I thought if I started with a basic tracking spell I could work on breaking it. But I can't even do that." Merrill continued to look into the bowl. "It's a simple spell."

Anders didn't want Merrill to know that regular magic couldn't be used on Arielle. He had assumed blood magic would be entirely different, but perhaps she was immune to that as well? Yet that didn't seem likely since they assumed blood magic had to do with her receiving her markings in the first place. More questions in seemed, and Arielle felt Anders frustration. "Why wouldn't it work," he asked her. "Would another spell being in place prevent another one?"

Merrill thought about it for a moment. "I don't think so. Unless there's an ingredient I am missing."

"His blood," Arielle spoke for the first time since Merrill's arrival. They both turned to her as she realized the problem. "He would be certain no one but him could find me. The others," she said coldly, and Anders knew she referred to the other magister's involved in the ritual, "he would make certain they could not find me and claim me as their own."

"Then we have no way of stopping him from finding you," Anders whispered softly, fearful of what the future suddenly held. Merrill placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him but he pulled away from her. "Damned blood mages," he muttered without realizing, referring to Danarius but offending the elf in the room, "if only we had more time. They'll be here any day now."

Arielle wasn't ready to give up yet though. "I may have a way to give you more time," she offered.

"How," Anders asked, daring to hope.

"Take me to where you found the red lyrium," Arielle told him. "Its power is stronger than blood and will shield me from the spell."

Anders shook his head, "no, we're not going back there. We have no idea what being near that much lyrium will do to you."

"You'll take me there or I'll find it on my own," she declared definitely. "Be with me or let me go, but I can not continue to put you all in danger." Anders wanted to argue with her, but he abruptly felt the pain and the magnitude of guilt within her begin to consume him. "I've already hurt Fenris once in this lifetime," she whispered, her first tear from emotion instead of physical pain caressing her cheek, "I will_ not_ do it again."


	25. Vasilia  Part 1

It always felt odd to him being in Hawke's estate when she wasn't there. He was comfortable to come and go as he pleased, but sitting in her living room alone was a bit disquieting. The servants had left for the afternoon to run errands, Arielle was with Anders, and Hawke was currently visiting the King. He knew why he wasn't asked to come along; they hadn't really spoken since she learned of his involvement with Arielle. That and he was quite certain Hawke had arranged it like this for him to have some time alone with his sister. Even if she was angry or upset with him, Fenris knew Hawke was still trying to look out for him.

He and Varania had spent lunch discussing her life, touching on very little of his past. He had more of a desire to know she was doing alright regardless of their past, and had asked endless questions about her life in Qarinus. She seemed happy, settled in a good job and making a name for herself in the city with her tailoring skills. Fenris decided on mostly neutral questions, waiting for a more opportune time to get into the past he had so many questions about. What was a few more hours compared to the years he had visited darkness?

He had also informed his sister that he wanted her to leave Kirkwall. Even though she had just arrived and he needed so much from her right now, he couldn't risk anything happening to her. It seemed every hour brought more news of trouble brewing for him and his friends, and he would never forgive himself if she was caught in the middle. Varania protested this request adamantly, but realized Fenris would have it no other way.

She joined him in front of the fire after her use of Hawke's bath. She settled on the couch beside him, enjoying the warmth of the fire as well as his closeness. "I still feel this is a dream I will wake up from," she said to him. "I wish the trip wasn't cut so short."

Fenris nodded. "Me as well," he said sincerely. "As soon as I am able to, I will make arrangements to come to Qarinus, and will give you all the time you require to get reacquainted."

Varania smiled softly. "I may not let you leave," she joked honestly. "I know you don't remember, but you and I used to be closer than any siblings we knew. Others would bicker or not even speak at all, and we used to wonder how something like that could happen."

"I wish I could recall that time," Fenris sighed. "I have felt alone for many years."

She placed a hand on his knee, "you aren't anymore. Now we are both in the position to fight and keep our freedoms, we should not let anyone threaten that again."

Fenris nodded. "You have my word."

Questions flooded his mind; he wanted to know everything he had lost, everything that was taken from him. There seemed no natural place to start and he wondered what she would want to speak of without feeling uncomfortable. Varania saw the struggle in his eyes; though he may have no memory of her, she still knew him even now. "If we only have today Leto, I suggest we not waste time. You wish to know of your past, so tell me where to begin."

That was the question wasn't it, just where to begin. "There is so much…" he tried, with wanting to know his life, her life, their parents, Arielle…it overwhelmed him. Who was he? Who was this Leto to have such a loyal sister, and such a tragic end?

Varania sat back and looked into the fire, gently squeezing his knee before pulling her hand away and placing it back in her lap. "Our parents were very close from what I can remember," she began, taking the choice away from him and offering him a beginning. "Father had black hair like yours used to be, and Mothers was as red as mine. Most of your features came from Father, and his attitude which included your stubbornness."

"I was stubborn even then," he noted. "That has not changed."

Varania smiled. "You and he would disagree on everything when you were younger, but he would always let you make your mistakes so you would learn from them." She delved into the part of his family that she knew he may have some difficulty with. "Father was a mage," she informed him, "he took an apprenticeship under Magister Caladrius and Mother offered herself as a slave so they could be together."

"Why would she do such a thing," Fenris questioned.

"Because she loved him," Varania answered as if it were obvious. "It was far easier for elves to offer themselves as slaves rather than wait and be traded, or worse killed. I don't know how they met though," she said sadly, "I wish now I would've asked her."

Fenris felt guilty for having Varania bring up difficult memories, but knew there would probably be many more to come. "This Caladrius was good to us then?"

Varania shrugged. "We never minded him and he tolerated us. Even after Father died he kept Mother on and allowed us to stay."

"You did not become his apprentice then," Fenris asked, finally acknowledging that his own sister was a mage. "Would he not have taken you on eventually as well?"

"I wanted no part in that world," Varania admitted. "We saw enough from Caladrius what the mages were like in Tevinter. Too often we turned a blind eye to the blood magic he was into, as well as the others he associated with. As his slaves we could do nothing about it, but as a mage I kept my power hidden so it couldn't be exploited." Guilt flashed across her face when she told him, "I hadn't used magic in years until yesterday."

Fenris was surprised his sister had such restraint. To be a mage in a city where it is such a source of power and prestige, any weaker person would've done whatever necessary to leave the life of a slave and become an apprentice, and then someday a magister. "How did he die," Fenris wondered about their father.

"We were very young when he died," Varania answered. "At the time Mother told us he died protecting Caladrius in their travels. It wasn't until after you were gone that Mother admitted he was killed for not turning to blood magic." She seemed lost in the memory for a moment, and Fenris waited patiently for her to continue. "He warned Mother it may happen, and wanted her to leave Caladrius if given the chance. But she had us by then and nowhere else to go, so she remained until you won our freedom."

"I can not imagine how difficult it was for her to remain, serving the man responsible for killing her husband." Fenris felt his anger surfacing at the hardship his family had endured, and hated himself for not doing something to help them sooner. "Certainly we tried to leave before that, didn't we?"

"We were very young Leto, there isn't much we could've done. It wasn't as bad a life as you may think back then; we often were left alone to live our lives as we wished, wander the city in safety, play our silly games in the courtyard. Caladrius spent a lot of time traveling and was rarely in the city; I think he only kept us to be certain his house was taken care of while he was away. We didn't have it nearly as bad as some others Mother associated with." Varania shook her head, "and the older you got, the more trouble you were," she said as she laughed.

He raised an eyebrow at the statement. "How so?"

"You never seemed to realize you were an elf in a city of humans, or a slave in a city of nobility. On trips to the marketplace where we were supposed to help Mother carry groceries, you would take off to look at swords and armor, or fight with other boys in the square." Varania's face darkened a bit. "It's how you met Vasilia as well."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

_He watched the fight intently from the corridor of the arena. In a city where elves were commonly nothing more than slaves, he was not permitted to sit in the audience. That was fine with him however, as he had the best seat in the house. The smell of sweat and blood permeated the hall a champion would run into, or a body would be dragged through. _

_The fight lasted longer than the others that day, but he had little interest in who would win or lose. He focused intently on their moves; the powerful blades they held performing dances led by their wielders. Every stance, every defensive move, countless striking blows and thought out maneuvers would lead one of them to victory. And he intended to know them all._

_So engrossed in the battle before him, the clanging of metal and grunts of exhaustion, he was unaware of the young woman who had entered the tunnel behind him. It wasn't until she spoke that he was caught off guard, turning so fast he almost lost his balance. "I didn't know elves were allowed down here," she said as she passed by him, moving closer to the action herself. "Though I can see why you would be here. You have an amazing view."_

_He stood there in silence, running through several excuses in his head to get him out of this one. Her fine dress and sweet scent could only mean nobility, and he knew he was in serious trouble. If he was caught again…_

"_Your secret is safe with me," she said as if reading his mind. Cheers came from above them, the thunderous applause echoing in the space beneath, and he turned back towards the arena to see a fighter had lost his life. The winner headed towards the opposite gate to the arena, which meant the guards would be coming to retrieve the poor losers corpse._

_He meant to flee at that moment, but the sound of plated armor and footsteps became louder and more threatening as two guards rounded the corner. The woman didn't move, he noted, but she was permitted to be there and he was not. He had half a mind to go running through the arena, until he remembered it was full of people awaiting the next fight. Easier to run from two than a hundred he thought, so he remained in fear._

"_You there, elf!" one of the guards called out. "You don't belong down here," he said as he came closer._

_He was prepared, feet at the ready, to run right passed them as soon as they got close enough. But the mysterious woman with long dark hair spoke yet again. "He's with me," she said offhandedly as she turned to face the guards._

_They quickly bowed to her, apologizing profusely for threatening her property. "Mistress, my apologies," the guard said without making eye contact. "I almost didn't recognize you in the darkness down here."_

_A wave of her hand dismissed them and their blubbering. "It's quite alright. Return to your duty so the next fight can begin. We don't want to keep them waiting," she said, winking at the elf. _

_He stood his ground as the guards walked between them, retrieved the body and then went back to wherever they came from. Before he could speak another fighter came down the hall, looking nervously at both of them as he entered the arena. Clearly his lack of confidence would end his fight early._

_The woman watched the fight briefly with him in silence until the first heavy blow was landed. She cringed at the violence and spray of blood, and turned to leave. "They shouldn't bother you again today," she said to him, referring to the guards, "but you may want to find a better hiding spot tomorrow."_

_And as she walked down the dark tunnel away from him, he found himself calling out to her. "Wait," he shouted, "who are you?"_

_She looked back at him with her piercing blue eyes and shrugged. "It doesn't matter," she replied, a somewhat sad expression on her face. "Take care of yourself." _

_Her pace quickened as she retreated and he watched her go, wondering who it was that had shown him such kindness._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"I was furious with you when you told me," Varania admitted. "Sneaking into the arena could've cost Mother her job and us to be sold. But you didn't seem to care, you just went on and on about how she was most beautiful person you had ever seen."

He searched the darkness for any recollection, any vision of what she had just told him. He closed his eyes and pictured it as best he could; the way she may have moved, or those eyes looking upon him not as a slave, but as any other person. "Vanilla," he said opening his eyes. "Vanilla and honey."

Varania turned to him. "You remember?" she hoped. "She bathed in it often; it's the first thing I noticed when I met her."

He held on to the memory of the scent, recalling nothing else. But it was enough that it was there, that he could almost smell it now, and that ignited a desire in him to know more. "If I did not know who she was, how did we find each other again?"

"It was a while before you saw her again," Varania filled him in. "But you obsessed over her for weeks. Every time we went into the city you would look for her, and it got to the point Mother and I assumed it was all a dream and you made her up, that she didn't even exist. I remember I teased you about it relentlessly."

Fenris smiled. "We were close then, weren't we."

Varania nodded. "You shared everything with Mother and I, and this was no different. For a time we wondered if you would ever be interested in anything other than fighting. But we also tried to discourage you from searching for her, assuming that if she was someone of importance, you were headed for heartbreak."

"Perhaps I should have headed your warnings," Fenris stated, considering everything that had happened since. How different would life have been had he never pursued the woman in the arena tunnel? Would they have remained in the service of Caladrius? Would he eventually have fought for their freedom some other way, or finally given his family the strength to leave on their own?

"You would not be here," Varania reminded him. "Though we haven't shared like we used to, it's obvious you care for Hawke. No matter the difficulty of the paths we have traveled, they've lead us to today. Do not trouble yourself with a past you can not change Leto."

He knew her words were true, but they were not easy to follow. "How often did I follow your advice back then?"

Varania laughed. "Not often, but as I said you were stubborn. You were driven and determined, and Mother and I should've known then you would not only find this girl, but eventually fall in love with her."

"Had there been no one before her," Fenris was curious.

"She was your first, if that is what you are asking," Varania said slightly embarrassed. "Except for a small crush on a neighbor a few years earlier which was your first kiss, Vasilia was your first in everything else."

A memory itched at the back of his mind of a conversation he had with Vasilia about this very topic. "I remember," he thought out loud, "that first kiss…"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

_He spotted her in the market that day and immediately his palms were sweaty with nerves. She wore a beautiful blue and black dress that clung to the curves of her body, leaving little to his imagination. She was alone as far as he could see, moving gracefully from each stall without making a single purchase. She seemed to be enjoying looking more than anything; touching different fabrics or admiring glass figurines. The merchants all showed their respect by a bow or a kiss on the hand, and he was surprised she seemed more annoyed by it than flattered._

_Eventually she moved away from the stalls and wandered to a farmer set against the wall selling livestock. He gathered his courage and moved towards her, the smell of animals tickling his senses. He hadn't thought of what he was going to say when he got to her, causing a bit of an awkward moment when she turned and looked straight at him._

_He opened his mouth to say something, anything, when suddenly they were both distracted by the rhythmic stomping of soldiers entering the square. The woman grabbed his hand and quickly pulled him into an alley, his body forced to be pressed against hers due to the lack of space. "He mustn't see me," she whispered, and he repositioned himself protectively to conceal her. _

_The beating of footsteps stopped dangerously close to them, and he could hear the farmer merchant call out. "Greetings Master Danarius, might you have need of stock today?"_

"_Take it all," he heard the harsh brittle voice reply, followed by a clink of a coin purse hitting the ground. Squawking and other various animal noises followed as the soldiers gathered the merchandise. Within seconds the march picked up again, the men leaving with the animals and the farmer going home happy._

"_Sorry if I startled you," the woman said to him, her face still only inches away from his. "If he found me out in the market again I'd be in some serious trouble."_

_He hardly heard a word she had said, the sweet scent of her consuming him and the closeness of their bodies igniting a new heat within him. Her eyes looked at him with a sweet innocence that he couldn't pull away from. "Who are you," he asked again from their first meeting, needing an answer desperately._

"_My name is Vasilia, and if you make any comment about the history of my name I shall stomp my shoe on your bare foot," she said as her eyes narrowed at him._

_He had to laugh at her sudden attempt at threats. "I will comment on its beauty and nothing more," he said as charmingly as he could without feeling foolish. Her smile was his reward, and he made no effort to remove himself from the tight space. Her lips curled in such a way that he wanted to taste them, and he nearly did so until they parted to speak._

"_May I have the pleasure of knowing your name as well," she whispered, feeling her own cheeks flush under the scrutiny of his emerald green eyes. _

"_Leto," he said nervously, somewhat ashamed at the sound of it compared to hers. Yet when she repeated it back to him, he knew he wanted nothing more than for her to say it a hundred times._

"_Leto," her body shifted against his, her chest rising and falling heavily, "tell me something. Have you ever kissed a woman?"_

_The question surprised him, and his face warmed under the changing colors. "I have," he admitted with slight arrogance. He didn't know why she had asked and thought she may have meant to mock him in some way. She was human, and he an elf, a realization that suddenly pained his heart. He assumed that being not only slave, but an elf as well, would give him no chance with someone like her._

_He soon realized she wasn't asking to appear better than him or make fun of him. "I have never kissed anyone before. What was it like?" _

_It was nothing like he was imagining now in his mind, staring at the curves of her mouth, but he answered her question as honestly as he could. "We were young and foolish," he told her as he moved his hand over her shoulder to press against the wall she was leaning on. He wondered if she was feeling the space grow smaller as well. "I put my lips to hers and did not move for several seconds. When we pulled away, I wondered what all the fuss was about." He moved his other arm into a similar position above her other shoulder, courage rising when she made no effort to escape him. "I was told later by my sister that I had done it wrong if I felt nothing."_

_Her lips curled upwards again in that sweet innocent smile that he wanted to dive right into. "So it wasn't everything you thought it would be," her soft voice called to him with a desire he had never known. "It wasn't as romantic as a kiss might be in, say, a position such as this?"_

_A muffled groan caught in his throat as he felt his groin respond to her words. In that moment he ignored all the reasons he shouldn't, the voice of his sister in his head telling him how wrong it was, and he gathered all the strength and courage he could find within himself. He brought his lips to hers and pressed firmly against her, feeling her fingers travel down his biceps that still kept her from escaping._

_What happened next was beyond anything he had ever felt or known. Her lips parted under his and he felt her tongue sweep across his lower lip. The new sensation surprised him as she then repeated the movement with his upper lip, and finally pushed her way into his mouth. Her tongue found his with ease, long deliberate strokes brushing against his own, her grip on his biceps strengthening. _

_He followed her lead, his tongue coming alive against hers, and he explored her mouth in an entirely new way. She would pull away to nibble at his lower lip with her teeth, and he would repeat the same. She was teaching him, he realized, without making him feel like a fool, and now he finally knew what a real kiss was like. _

_His fingers tangled themselves in her long dark hair, and every soft moan she released against his lips made him painfully aware of their closeness. He had no doubt she could feel his length against her leg as she pressed against him, and sudden embarrassment threatened to ruin the moment. He feared the worst when her hands left his arms, but then a gentle touch to both of his ears was his undoing. As she caressed them to their points and back down again, he knew he had lost control as he bucked against her involuntarily, moaning at his own release. He pulled away from her as quickly as he could, and ran from the alley._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"What is it," Varania seemed concern at the sudden flush across his cheeks. He groaned painfully at the embarrassing memory, wondering just what wicked tricks his mind was trying to play on him. "What did you remember," she prompted again at his silence.

"A conversation," he admitted to her, "I remember discussing my first kiss with someone else."

"Oh," Varania gasped as she turned almost as red as he was.

He furrowed his brows as he saw her expression change. "You knew?"

She couldn't help the soft giggle as she nodded. "You were mortified," she recalled. "You wouldn't go to the market for a week after that incident. You barely ate and wouldn't speak to me or Mother; you just hid in your room brooding."

He shook his head and rubbed his face with his hands. "My brooding apparently has not changed as well," he joked. "But I can not believe I would have discussed such a thing with you," he admitted.

Varania tried to stifle her continued laughter. "The most embarrassing moment of your life? I'd be hurt if you hadn't," she stated. "In truth I annoyed you until you finally caved and told me, and then you wanted to know what I thought you should do about it."

"And what did you say," he asked, curious as to her response.

"I told you to pretend it never happened, and if she was any kind of woman with a heart she would never bring it up." Varania thought for a moment. "And she never did."


	26. Vasilia Part 2

The realization that memories were returning on their own brought him some comfort. His first night with Hawke, the images came and went so quickly it was painful. To know they were there, just beyond reach, was indeed too much to bear. It had torn them apart, reminded him that he was not a complete man and therefore could not offer her what she deserved; someone aware of his past and able to embrace his future. He could not do one without the other in his mind, and so came the inevitable decision to leave her.

Then he began to accept himself, with her help as well as Sebastian. He was told the only path to a future was accepting the present, not the past. A hard lesson for him to learn, for his unknown past continued to haunt him. Around every corner was Danarius, or a memory, threatening to take hold of him once more.

It wasn't until Hawke let him back in; gradually, at her pace, she offered him a fresh start, a new beginning. Just like he had been given in life, she had said; the slate wiped clean and the opportunity to do things differently. He knew she was still guarded, mostly because he was still guarded, but she let him back in regardless. Perhaps she too began to accept that he may never find peace from the past, or be whole.

"What are you thinking," Varania asked intruding on his thoughts.

A fine question, what was he thinking? That the more she told him the more he remembered. That what he had always longed to know he was now beginning to fear. Would knowing all of his past change him somehow? Or would he never remember it all? There's an entire block of time he can not recall, his sister couldn't know, and Arielle didn't remember. He needed more from Varania, and would continue to ask her what she knew, but would he ever know everything?

"I hear a story of another life," he replied, "and I wonder when I will accept it as my own."

"When you do more than hear it," she said. He turned to look into emerald green eyes that matched his own. "When you can not only see it but feel yourself in that moment, then it will be real. You felt it when we met that you knew me?"

"Yes," he knew her, instantly, and their connection returned. He didn't have his memories of her, but he felt as if he had known her his entire life. She was someone he could trust, and would give his life for. He knew this, without knowing the rest.

"You wonder about her," Varania could see it in his eyes.

He did. His memories of Arielle before Varania's arrival were only starting to surface, and now that he knew a little more he didn't understand why there were no emotions attached to his memories. "I expected to feel…more," he admitted.

Varania offered him a warm smile before gently suggesting his denial. "I think you already do," she told him. "When we talk about her, when you think about her, when you look at her…I see it. Search your heart Leto, she's there now as she was then."

Fenris doubted her but thought back on what he knew for certain. The first time he saw Arielle, a blanket carelessly thrown over her naked body, there was an immediate desire to protect her. The way he lashed out at Isabela for hurting her further. His need to get her as far away from Minrathous as possible. He remembered how difficult it was for him when she had run away, the helplessness that he endured while the others searched for her. And how badly he wanted to take her pain away; that hurt him the most.

These emotions within himself he had always assumed were nothing more than empathy; two former slaves of the same man living the same hell. Perhaps he was wrong. "I need to know more."

Varania nodded. "The next time you saw her wasn't in the city," Varania began again. "She ended up finding you."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

_He was on the front lawn of the estate practicing his maneuvers. One minute he would leap into the air and bring his greatsword down to an invisible enemy, the next minute he'd switch to a defense stance; sword in front of him, back leg extended and properly balanced. She watched him from the gated entrance and realized his moves could easily be mistaken for dance. Spins and leaps and mesmerizing arm movements distracted her for a time until she realized he was staring right at her._

"_Avanna," she greeted him as he approached the gates. "Your skill is most impressive."_

_He removed the lock and chains and allowed her entrance. "How did you find me," he asked nervously, still ashamed of their last encounter._

"_I have my ways," she said mysteriously as she took his hand. "I have something for you."_

_He eyed her curiously but followed where she led, just outside the entrance. Leaning against the stone wall was his gift; obviously a sword by it's shape but wrapped in black velvet cloth. She lifted it and handed it to him. "I see your sword has seen better days," she commented. "I thought you might have need of a new one."_

_Leto carefully unwrapped the cloth to reveal a large black and silver greatsword made of aurum. He ran his hand along the blade as the enchanted runes came to life. "A sword of this make is far too generous," he whispered, daring to fall in love with the blade. "Do you know how rare aurum is?"_

_Vasilia nodded and danced around him, letting herself through the gates. "I am well aware," she told him. "Have you ever seen a Blade of Mercy before?"_

_Leto held the sword up to admire it in the fading sunlight. "Is that what it's called?"_

"_My father is obsessed with Archon Hessarian," she explained, "hence the reason for me being named after his wife Vasilia. The Blades of Mercy are enchanted replica's of the blade Hessarian used to slay Andraste." She moved behind him and admired the sword over his shoulder. "They are valued highly in the Imperium," she whispered close to his ear. "It is considered an honor to carry one."_

_He flicked his wrist back and forth studying the weight of the sword. "What have I done to deserve this honor," he spoke softly while still looking at the blade. He could feel how close she was behind him, and didn't dare to turn his head knowing her lips were so near._

"_For saving me from my father last time we met," she said joyfully as she moved away from him. _

_He hadn't realized it before, but as he recalled their last encounter, it suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks. "Magister Danarius…is your father?"_

_Vasilia giggled at his astonishment. "Did you not figure that out when I dragged you into the alley when I saw him coming?"_

"_I was…distracted," he said in his lowest tone that created small bumps of joy on her skin. _

"_Well now you know," she acknowledged nonchalantly. "Are you going to give me a tour of the estate? I know Caladrius is out of town."_

_Leto reached for her arm and grabbed it before she could go skipping off. "Vasilia," he demanded her attention. "I can not accept this blade from you. It is a thoughtful gift, but much too valuable."_

_She turned around to face him and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine," she seemed upset. "If you must know, I have a sick obsession with collecting them. I have thirteen so far, which is an unlucky number, so please accept this one so I do not have years of bad luck."_

_He studied the blade once more and then her expression, the hidden hurt in her eyes of his possible rejection of the gift. He nodded and bowed to her. "I would not wish this bad luck on you," he said honestly, "so under those terms I shall accept."_

"_Good," she said moving away from him again. "You'll need it for the tournament!"_

"_Uhm, excuse me?"_

_Her smile was bright enough to light up the entire dusk sky as she resumed skipping in front of him towards the estate._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"That was the first time she mentioned the tournament to you," Varania explained. "It didn't happen for several years later, but after you two had become close and you wanted to find a way to be with her forever, she hired a trainer for you to prepare. You were both tired of sneaking around and not being able to be together whenever you wanted."

"The tournament to be Danarius' slave?" Fenris asked disgusted.

"His bodyguard," Varania told him. "That's what you were for a while before…"

Fenris nodded, understanding the rest. "So that was it then, she was in our lives from that moment forward?"

"All of our lives, yes," Varania confirmed. "That night Mother and I were in the gardens attending to the roses, and she introduced herself to us. She immediately got into the dirt beside us and started helping, a surefire way to win over Mothers heart instantly. They talked for a time, and then we had supper, and it became almost a daily ritual of visits until Caladrius returned."

"Mother approved of her?"

Varania smiled, remembering just how much Vasilia used to be adored. "We all fell in love with her. She never had to help us with anything, being who she was, but she insisted every day. While you were training she spent all of her time with us in the gardens or tending to the horses. Not once did she ever make us feel like she was above us in any way. We spent hours talking about history, or philosophy, politics…the four of us got along as if she was part of the family." Varania took a moment to gather her thoughts. "When she told us about her upbringing under Danarius, it broke Mothers heart, what she went through. Mother was determined to show her affection since she got very little at home."

"Tell me," Fenris needed to know.

She took in a breath before deciding where to begin. "She never knew her own mother," Varania informed him. "She died during childbirth. Vasilia was a month early and Danarius wasn't in the city. Hadriana and the servants assisted in the birth because the healers took too long to arrive. There was nothing that could be done and her mother was gone. Danarius was outraged, shunning the child and Hadriana for a time, holding them both responsible.

"Hadriana and the servants raised Vasilia. Danarius wanted nothing to do with her, especially after he discovered she had no magic. Hadriana became more distant as well over the years, beginning apprenticeship under her father. Vasilia was left on her own."

"Danarius held her responsible for two things beyond her control?" Fenris couldn't comprehend.

"We all know what that man is like Leto," Varania responded, "this shouldn't come as a surprise."

"I thought perhaps he would be different with his own children," Fenris stated. Why, he wasn't certain, knowing everything he knows about the man. It was also hard to imagine Hadriana being a motherly figure to anyone given what he experienced with her. Except that glimmer in her eyes, when she mentioned Varania before her death, now he could remember a slight hint of softness. Perhaps Hadriana really did care about family.

Varania continued. "When she presented us with the idea of you competing for our freedom, and then all of us running away together, there was no doubt in any of our minds. By that time she was a part of our family; she was a sister to me, a daughter to Mother, and the two of you had something beautiful and pure. We didn't think twice about agreeing to let you compete and win our freedom, because we trusted her."

"It wasn't her fault," Fenris admitted quietly. "It was mine."

Varania's face displayed her anger. "No Leto," she defied, "Vasilia promised to take care of us, of you. She swore she'd set us all free and we would all be together."

Fenris shook his head, closing his eyes. "You don't understand. I remember," he whispered, "I remember when we got caught. It wasn't her fault…"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"_Do not wake the house," he said with a smile. Vasilia pouted teasingly, sticking her plump lower lip out at him. He bent down to take her lip between his teeth, growling and teasing her as he buried himself deep within her. Her head fell back exposing her neck as she breathed in sharply, his thrusts hitting her in places he had never been before. He kissed her chin, her neck, between her breasts, and then took a soft nipple in his mouth, her body reacting around him._

"_How long until we can be like this again," she asked breathlessly._

_He slowed down his motions between her legs, taking a moment to look into her eyes. "Too long," came his low velvet response. His pace increased once more and he felt her grip on his back. _Once he felt she was near _climax, he reclaimed her mouth with his own, stifling any screams of pleasure she may have uttered in those moments where her body shuddered. Her body tightened around him forcing his own release as he convulsed above her. _

_She looked into his eyes at that moment, sweat glistening on his forehead and dampening his dark hair. "I love you so much Leto," she declared with tears in her eyes. "I can not continue to do this much longer."_

_He pressed his head to hers and closed his eyes. "I know," he whispered tenderly. "Neither can I." He pulled back to kiss her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then her mouth once more, before getting out of bed. "We leave tonight," he informed her as he wiped his body down with a towel before dressing. "We will not be apart another minute longer."_

"_Do you know where your mother and sister are," Vasilia asked as she too left the comforts of her bed to get dressed. "I will not leave without them."_

"_We'll find them," he assured her, taking a moment to caress her cheek with his hand. "And then we will be together forever."_

_The door swung open as Danarius and two of his guards walked in. "Well, well, what do we have here," he asked the couple._

_Leto moved forward as if to confront him, but Vasilia stood in his way. "Just some innocent fun Father," she tried to lie, "borrowing the help in his off time."_

_Danarius looked from his daughter to his bodyguard. "I see. I hope he is performing…satisfactorily?" _

_Vasilia flushed at the comment, taken aback by her fathers inquiry. "Yes Father," she replied._

_Danarius glared at Leto. "My daughter ordered you to do this then?"_

"_Yes Father," Vasilia answered for him. "And he obeyed as any good servant would. In fact he was just leaving, isn't that right Leto?"_

_Danarius continued to stare at Leto ignoring his daughter. "Tell me Leto, is she as delicious as she appears?"_

_The anger within him forced him to snap, and Leto lunged at Danarius fueled with hatred. His guards held him back before he could even touch his Master, but that didn't stop the daming words from escaping his lips. "I love her," he spat at Danarius, "she is leaving with me tonight and getting away from you, you monster."_

_Vasilia felt her legs go weak as she held on to the bed for support. Danarius laughed as Leto fought against his guards. "You love her do you," he said looking from Leto to his daughter. "Well we can't have that now can we." Two more guards came into the room behind Danarius, and he ordered them to take his daughter as well. "Bring them," he said as he exited the room, the guards doing as ordered._

"_Leto!" she called out as they held her arms._

_He couldn't reply. His only thought was to get them out of this situation. His guards had immediately begun chaining his arms behind his back as he struggled trying to break free. They took the couple to Danarius' main chambers and then chained Leto's legs to the wall securely. _

_He looked over at Vasilia being held tightly in place by the guards, struggling as much as he was for freedom. She was crying and he could do nothing to comfort her. In the years they had been together they were always so careful, so cautious, that it seemed an impossibility they'd get caught. Yet here they were, her pleading for his life, he on his knees staring at the stone floor. He wanted to run to her, embrace her, assure her that everything would be alright, but he couldn't move. The chains that bound his ankles and wrists behind him wouldn't allow for him to ever touch her again. The very thought broke his heart, and he felt a lump in his throat as he swallowed his own tears._

_His head jerked up when he heard the slap, Danarius looming above her striking her hard across the face. A large gash in her cheek began to bleed, the result of his ring meeting her flesh. Blood and tears now fell but she became silent, knowing all too well her sobbing would only get her into more trouble. One last attempt at fleeing but the guards held onto her tightly. She looked towards her lover one last time._

_Nothing could be done to help her though. And as she was taken from the room, her screams could be heard down the hall. He fought against the chains that bound him, metal digging into flesh as he tried to free himself. He cared little for the pain he felt as he struggled, desperate need to get to her overwhelming him. When her screams could no longer be heard, he yelled her name and released his own cry of fear before darkness fell upon him._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"If I had held my anger and gone along with her lie, none of this would have happened," he admitted. And retelling the dream, the memory, the one he had focused on so intently since he had it, the emotions and feelings came flooding back to the point of overwhelming him. He loved her, more than any man could love another. His soul was destroyed that day, his heart shattered into a thousand pieces. The thought of never seeing her again, never touching her, the very pain he felt that day he was feeling now.

"Leto," Varania called softly, trying to get through to him. His face was in his hands, his body was shaking, his markings glowing brighter with each passing second. Varania began to panic, unsure what was happening or how to assist him. All she could think to do was say his name over and over, try to bring him back to the present.

But he was lost in his memory, in the pain, in knowing that he did this to them, to her. The sounds of Varania calling out to him he only heard to be Vasilia's, pleading for his help. Everything that had happened to her since was his fault. His mothers death was his fault, his sisters suffering, all from that one moment of losing control.

He was lost in the past, completely unaware that someone else had entered the room. She knelt before him, placed her hands on his, and calmly spoke his name. "Fenris," she said softly. "Fenris it's alright."

Fenris heard his name, the name of who he was now, calling to him in the darkness of dispair. He followed it, held on to it, needed it to save himself.

A gentle touch on the back of his hand, careful enough not to touch his glowing markings. "Fenris, it's me," the voice called to him again.

He knew that voice, found comfort there. He fought to remain in control, to push the memory down into the darkness where it came. Too many emotions, too much pain, he couldn't face it again. Not now, not here, not like this. Her voice continued to encourage him as his markings began to dim. A tender caress of his cheek, a soft kiss on his hand that reached out to her. He opened his eyes and focused on hers, grounding himself in the familiar feel and sight of her. He reached out to her as she brushed several tears from his face with her thumb.

"You're alright," she repeated again, and coming from her he believed it. She offered him a soft smile as he touched her face, discovering her as if she wasn't real in front of him. But she was. And she had just saved him from the darkness that threatened to consume him. "I'm here Fenris," Hawke whispered.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: *Avanna - common Arcanum greeting for Hello._**


	27. On the Horizon

Varania remained next to Fenris on the couch and Hawke knelt on the floor in front of him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her, holding on to her hands afraid to let go. Varania comforted him quietly as best she could, running her hand up and down his back gently. His breathing was finally beginning to settle into a normal rhythm and his markings returned to their normal state. Neither woman said a word as they waited for him to find his way back to them on his own.

"Hawke," he managed, her name somewhat caught in his throat. She nodded and gave him a soft smile, still unsure what had happened but not daring enough to ask.

"I'm here Fenris," she repeated, running her thumb along his knuckles. "Whatever you need, I'm here."

He struggled for what seemed like an eternity, trying to sort out the feelings that had flooded him moments ago. His memories brought him pain, guilt, and love that he had not expected. Before him was the woman he knew he cared for, had begun to give his heart to, and the one who's voice just saved him from the dark recesses of his mind. Yet now he remembered a love so pure, so deep and also suffocating, being torn from him in an instant by Danarius. He tried to focus on the present, on what was right in front of him, but his past still called to him deep within his soul.

Sounds from the other room caused Hawke to glance over Fenris' shoulder as Arielle and Anders had returned. Fenris' grasp on her hands tightened and his back stiffened slightly. "Fenris?" Hawke questioned, "what is it?"

He closed his eyes and turned away, attempting to block out the sound of Arielle's voice. "I can't see her right now," he warned Hawke, his memories on the verge of overwhelming him again.

"Stay with him," Hawke told Varania as she released his hands and stood up, moving towards the vault where Anders and Arielle were coming from. She took a moment to catch her own breath; the sight of Fenris so vulnerable causing her some distress. A deep breath as she rounded the corner and stood in the doorway of the vault, essentially cutting them off from entering the living room. "You two are back earlier than I expected," she said to them.

"Good, you're here," Anders scowled. "Maybe you can talk her out of this insane plan of hers."

Hawke looked from Anders to Arielle. "Oh? What's going on?"

Arielle remained silent, choosing to lean against the wall and stare into nothing rather than respond. She could feel Hawke had little patience at this moment, and she chose not to bother explaining anything to her.

When Hawke didn't get a response from Arielle, she redirected her gaze towards Anders. He too was looking at Arielle, unsure why she had suddenly closed herself off to him again and refused to speak. The abruptness of the disconnection shook him a little, the soft vibration from her now missing within him. "Merrill wasn't able to do anything for us," he explained when she didn't. "Arielle believes returning to the Deep Roads where we found the lyrium will be able to block the spell and buy us some time."

Hawke shrugged nonchalantly. "Okay, so we go back to the Thaig."

Anders stared at Hawke as if he had heard wrong. "You're agreeing to this? Are you as insane as she is? We have no idea what being down there will do to her!"

Hawke placed a hand on his arm to calm him down. "No, we don't, but I trust she wouldn't suggest it if it wasn't our only option, am I right?"

Arielle was as surprised at Anders that Hawke was willing, and nodded.

"Besides, I was going to ask you if you'd return there with me anyway," Hawke admitted. "Apparently the Wardens have taken a great interest in our discovery there and sent a group to retrace our expedition. That group is now missing, and I've been asked to find them."

Anders seemed confused. "Why would the Wardens be interested? Who asked you to go?"

"A woman tracked me down on my way back from meeting with the King," Hawke explained. "Her brother is part of the group that went missing. Her name's Delilah Howe, her brother Nathaniel."

An audible groan came from the mage. "I know Nathaniel. Well, _knew _him. I'm not certain running into him or the Wardens is what I need right now."

Hawke nodded. "Think about it, but I'm going either way and it looks like Arielle is too." Hawke focused her attention on Arielle again. "We can leave tomorrow afternoon. Is that alright with you?"

"Thank you," Arielle answered sincerely. She had expected Hawke to ridicule her or attempt to deny her this, and found herself surprised that Hawke not only agreed but was willing to help. "I'd like to go to my room now," she said as Hawke was still blocking the door.

"Of course," Hawke said moving out of the way. "But I'd avoid the living room; Varania's waiting for me there and I'm not certain she's ready to see you again."

Arielle understood as she gave Anders a quick glance. "Good night," she said to him quickly before she left without any further comment.

Anders seemed upset about the brief goodbye and Hawke picked up on it immediately. "I will ask you again Anders," Hawke said almost scolding him, "what is going on with you two? And don't tell me nothing. There's obviously something and I need to know before we all traipse into a very confined space for three weeks."

"Not now Hawke," Anders replied clearly agitated, running his hand through his disheveled hair. Hawke considered stopping him as he sulked back to the entrance to Darktown, but thought better of it, not wanting to leave Fenris alone any longer.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Orsino paced his office, listening to the sounds of orders being barked in the other room. He despised her office being so near his; her ever watchful eye on him and his activities. He wondered if she had any idea what was happening in her own city, if she knew what was right under her nose.

Her behavior was becoming more and more erratic, to which he reveled in. Soon she would snap and the entire city would see her for the tyrant she really was. If his plan worked, if all the pieces fell into place at the right moment, he and his mages would give this city something to think about.

A small fire burned in the office fireplace, and he began carefully placing letters and notes into the flames. He knew he had to cover his tracks, suspected someone was getting too close to his plan. It didn't matter now, nothing could be done as things set in motion would happen regardless of any attempts to stop it.

It wasn't what he had wanted. No, this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. Circumstance caused these changes to take place, he rationalized in his mind, and in the end the city and the future of mages would benefit from it. He was doing it all for his people, and in the end they would have him to thank for their freedom.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke returned to Fenris and Varania, still unsure what she was going to say to him. There were so many unresolved issues between them, many conversations that they had placed on hold for various reasons. Yet as she saw him so vulnerable, near broken, she couldn't remember anything that was so important other than her love for him.

When Varania noticed Hawke standing in the doorway, she stood and said her goodnights to the both of them. Though she would be leaving in the morning and wished she had more time with her brother, it was clear he needed Hawke more than her right now. She didn't know Hawke very well at all, but knew she was the one to get through to her Leto, so she offered them her time at this moment.

Fenris remained on the couch, unable to face Hawke as he heard her approach and settle beside him. For a while they both remained silent; he lost in his memories and her lost in her fear. What was he remembering? What was he feeling? She wasn't sure but knew he'd come to her in his own time…or at least she hoped.

He reached out for her hand and she gave it to him, his fingers intertwining with hers and holding on as if she was the anchor keeping him grounded. She joined his gaze into the fire, settling into the comfort of just being near him after so much had taken place, and fearing all that was yet to come.

Fenris felt her grip tighten involuntarily and he turned her head towards her. She seemed as lost as he was, and it pained him to know that he was the cause of most of her inner turmoil. "Hawke," he dared to speak her name, pulling her from her thoughts.

She blinked her eyes and refocused them on his, their beckoning clear without a word other than her name being spoken. Hawke offered him what little she could right now, a soft gentle smile to try and relieve the awkward tension surrounding them. She shifted her body to face him, curling a leg up under her and allowing the other to dangle off the side of the couch. "Business, pleasure, or pain?"

Fenris tilted his head to the left slightly as he pondered what she had just said. "Uhm, excuse me?"

Hawke laughed uncomfortably. "Do you wish to discuss business, run upstairs and devour each other, or delve into all the things we need to talk about but both are avoiding?"

For whatever reason he forgot that this is the Hawke he fell for in the first place; serious when the situation warranted, yet able to take a difficult moment and turn it around to a lesser burden. They did have a lot to discuss, too much in fact, but with his memories invading his mind all he could think about was trying to remain in the here and now instead of getting lost in the what was.

Hawke knew he couldn't answer, wouldn't answer, given everything that was clearly going on in his mind. She could tell by the haunted look in his eyes that he was still struggling, and realized tonight wasn't going to be anything more than something to get through. She stood and extended her other hand to him. "Come upstairs Fenris."

Nervousness tore through him unexpectedly. "Hawke…"

She knew. She knew him better than anyone. She expected his hesitancy. "Let's go to sleep Fenris. Nothing more. We'll face the world and all its troubles tomorrow." A slight need of her own shown in her eyes. "All I am asking for is to be near you tonight."

He owed her that, much more in fact, but he accepted her hand and her terms. They ascended the stairs together in silence, curled into each other in bed, both too exhausted to say another word.

Dreams would haunt them both that night.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The man walked along the rows of empty cages, the smell of filth permeating the air. He was immune to it, to all scent really, considering the things he had done in his lifetime. Each door was open for him to see the conditions they had lived in. Scratch marks on the floors and the walls as well as the inside of the wooden barriers that prevented their freedom. Some chains and shackles hung loosely on the walls, covered in a brown substance that dried long ago.

Something scurried under his feet and he took a step back instinctively to keep from squashing the creature. Another followed; sickly looking rats darted from room to room in search of food. He wondered how they lived down here, how any human or elf survived these conditions.

The corners of some rooms had piles of hardened feces, some as high as he was. Other cells were free of the defecation; perhaps due to starvation or having been cleaned before his arrival. It was no matter; the corpses they pulled out of this cellar were evidence enough of the horrors that occurred here.

He approached the last door on the left, the one he was sent to investigate, and adjusted the lantern so it would shine brighter. As he entered the cell he noticed it was exactly like the others he had just seen; signs of resistance, of struggles, of desperation and despair. Yet there was one thing this cell had that no other did, and he took a moment to really process what he was looking at.

Each wall had markings clawed into them. Small lines, hash marks, indicating days spent as many other prisons and slaver holding cells he'd visited. This one was overwhelming though. This one didn't have a few markings to indicate days, or weeks, or even months. All the walls were covered from the ceiling to the floor with these marks. All four walls, no more than a half inch apart, shaky lines carved with nails and stained with dried blood.

There was no easy way to estimate how many hashes there were in total, but at quick glance he guessed there were enough to make up the days totaling seven years. That was until he saw the marks continued on the floor. Was someone keeping track of days? Or simply losing their mind in the isolation, uncertain of what a day even was anymore?

He shuddered at the thought of how a situation like this would change a person. He'd seen enough prisoners released after a year of isolation never fully recover. How was this person free and functioning at this very moment?

"Commander," a voice came from behind him down the darkened corridor, footsteps echoing in the empty cellar. His Second In Command approached quickly, taking a moment to peek into the room. "Maker," he gasped immediately at the sight of such a place.

"What is it?"

"The men have searched the entire estate Commander," his Second briefed him. "There is no sign of Danarius."

The Warden Commander sighed, shaking his head as he took one last look in the empty cell. "Then we are already too late," he said softly. "Gather the rest. We must head to Kirkwall immediately."


	28. Goodbyes and Acceptance

_She searched the city for him after traveling for over a month. It took her that long to find him, unsure if it was even him, but the adrenaline running through her veins kept her going. Through the streets she ran, not knowing where she was going but hoping, praying to the Maker, she'd find him._

_Her endurance and vigilance paid off. In the distance, at a market stall browsing swords, was Fenris. Hawke ran to him, nearly tripping over her own exhausted feet and pushing several people out of the way. She called his name but he ignored her. Louder she repeated her call, which went unanswered, others in the square beginning to stare at her._

_As she reached for him he spun around on his heels, blade in hand and at the ready. Her eyes widened at the alarm in his, and she called for him again. "Fenris?"_

_"Draw your weapon if you wish to fight," he snarled, staring back at her._

_"I don't want to fight you Fenris," she informed him, face flushed and out of breath from running. "Why would you think that?"_

_He remained in a defensive position waiting for her to strike. "I do not know what you are looking for here friend, but I suggest you move on."_

_A dark hair woman approached them carrying several bags of recently purchased items. Fenris put his arm out and held her behind him. "Stay behind me," he ordered the woman._

_"Leto," she said softly, "who is that?"_

_"I don't know," he growled at Hawke, "but she was just leaving."_

_Hawke looked behind Fenris and studied the woman's face. "Arielle?"_

_The woman whispered in Fenris' ear. "Is she mad dear?"_

_"It appears so," he said protecting his woman and switching stances. "Move along stranger, there is nothing for you here."_

_Hawke was confused and unsure what was happening. "Fenris, it's me Hawke. How do you not know who I am?" How do you not recall that we are lovers, that you are my world, or that I would die for you?_

_"You clearly are mistaken Miss," he replied. "My name is not Fenris, nor do I know you. Now please leave us. I will not ask you again."_

_Hawke felt her legs grow weaker, the exhaustion finally catching up with her and the dismissal of her lover crushing her heart. "We have spent years together," she began, lip quivering from the threatening tears about to burst free. "Why do you claim not to know me? I helped you escape from slavers, taught you how to read, travelled with you for years!" Frustration turned to fear, "do you not know the only woman you have ever been with?"_

_The woman behind him gasped. "I thought I was the only woman you have been with!"_

_"You are," he growled to her over his shoulder. "This woman is obviously insane. She doesn't even know my name. Be gone woman, before I call the guard to clear you from the city."_

_The pain in her heart increased at the thought of him not remembering her. What foul magic was this that would take him away from her just when they were getting back to each other? The couple watched her as her mental breakdown continued; Hawke didn't know where to go from here. The expression on her lovers face was clear; there was no recognition there. He was telling the truth. And each time he'd steal a glance towards the woman he was protecting, Hawke knew that was the one who held his heart. His body language was clear; the way he kept his body in front of her, one hand on the sword he threatened with, the other hand extended behind his back to keep constant physical contact with her. He would let no one touch her, nothing harm her, and Hawke's heart broke at the realization._

_Whatever world she was in, in this reality she had no place in his life. He was devoted to another, loved another, and treated her as nothing more than a stranger. On her knees she fell, her world crashing down around her, and she welcomed the darkness that followed._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

_His steps were carefully placed to be in rhythm with Danarius; only a foot of distance between them. Holding the position of bodyguard to the most powerful magister in the Imperium was an honor, a duty which he took very seriously. He owed this man for his family's freedom, and he would honor the contract between them to the fullest. No harm would come to him, not on his watch, Leto had sworn to it the day after the tournament._

_Now they walked down the long halls of his home, Leto ever vigilant in looking into the shadows for any threat to his employer. Danarius rarely spoke to the elf; but his confidence in his abilities was clear. Each morning Leto would receive an itinerary, plot the best course to reach destinations in the safest and quickest amount of time, and then he would dispatch the other guards to be in place before they arrived. Leto didn't need words from the magister to know he was doing a fine job; he prided himself in his own details, and a stronger, confident stride from Danarius told him that he was doing his job well._

_Leto opened the door to the study and scanned the room first before allowing his employer to enter. Normally he'd stand by the door, sometimes for hours, while Danarius would study books or write letters. Today was different though; today the magister asked Leto to sit opposite him for a discussion._

_He wouldn't accept any offer of comfort, or a chance to be unguarded while protecting his employer, so Leto chose to stand in front of the magisters desk instead, hands behind his back in a more relaxed pose. "I prefer to stand, if you don't mind," Leto informed Danarius._

_He nodded, accustomed to the elfs desire to always be at the ready. It was a trait he was beginning to admire in the boy. "I admit I am surprised at how skilled you are in the position you've been given," Danarius began._

_Leto nodded, acknowledging the rare compliment from the man. He knew better than to speak unless asked a direct question. He'd seen several slaves on the receiving end of the man's anger, and was always careful not to provoke him in any way._

_"I will be going out of town for a few days; we will be leaving tonight." Danarius informed him. "I trust this isn't too short notice for you?"_

_"I will begin the preparations," Leto stated in a neutral tone._

_Danarius waved his hand. "That will not be necessary," he said. "You will remain here."_

_Leto shifted his weight as he eyed his employer. "Forgive me," he began testing how the man would take to his questioning, "but that is unwise."_

_Luck was with Leto today as Danarius wasn't offended. "I appreciate your concern," the older man said leaning back in his chair. "Normally I would agree with you, yet this trip Hadriana will be accompanying me, so I will need someone I trust to remain here and oversee the others."_

_Leto did his best not to let his expression change. His employer admitting trust was overwhelming enough, but the thought of finally having time with Vasilia..."I understand," came his response, composure in check._

_Danarius returned to the papers on his desk. "I leave it to you then," he concluded._

_Leto gave him another nod and returned to his position at the door. His mind dared to wander to spending the night with the woman he loved, whom he hadn't seen in weeks. Tonight they would finally be together again, and each night after until Danarius' return. It was a gift he would enjoy greatly, inwardly smiling at the thought of being in her arms again._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke woke from her dream, startled, tears staining her face as her heart raced with fear. It took her a moment to realize it was all in her mind as she turned her head to study the sleeping elf next to her. She wanted to reach out to him, connect with him to prove to herself that he was really there, but she retreated her hand when she saw his lips form a smile. Normally he was plagued with nightmares; she didn't dare wake him from something that seemed pleasant.

Inwardly she struggled with the vision she'd just had; an endless search for the man she loved only to be rejected because of a lack of memory. If Arielle had her memories intact, Hawke imagined that's how she would feel at this moment. Finally finding the one you love, your first true love, only to have him stare blankly at you while in the arms of another.

She ran a hand through her hair and leaned forward, stretching her back while grabbing her ankles. A morning ritual that usually calmed her for the day ahead, but the images of her dream still plagued her. Her head leaned into her knee and she held the position, wondering what she was supposed to do with these thoughts. Her father always told her that dreams were our souls way of telling us something, and Hawke replayed it in her mind looking for a clue on how to proceed in the days to come.

A soft moan escaped Fenris' lips and she turned to look at him. He seemed so happy in his dreams; content, relaxed, peaceful. Hawke wondered what his eyes would show if they were open, and dared to hope his dreams were of her. She had never seen him so beautiful, not an ounce of tension in his body as her eyes drifted to his shirtless form. His skin glistened from the beads of sweat beginning to surface, and she soaked in the sight of him beside her.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders stared intently at the ceiling unable to sleep. The ever present song he felt within his soul when he was around her was gone, cut off by a simple action from her, and he found himself craving it. What power did this woman hold over him? What mysterious force gripped his heart and wouldn't let go?

Hours he spent attempting to dream, yet the pulsing in his veins pounded in his ears. Footfalls in snow is all he heard, a constant drumming of agony, each step louder than the next. His flesh felt tight around his bones, a strange desire to claw at it gnawing at him relentlessly. He longed for the connection again, the rhythm of her heart in his mind, it was as intoxicating as it was brutal, knowing it would end when she wasn't near.

He had never felt a connection so strongly with someone. Even merging with Justice could not compare to the completeness he felt when she opened up to him. Every touch of his hand on her skin he felt, every movement within her he shuddered as well. It was an experience he knew could not be matched with any other in his lifetime, and his body ached for her.

She'd be leaving for the Deep Roads today. Weeks without her; he couldn't fathom. The heavy emptiness in his heart for that song, the one within her that called to him, his fear at something dispelling that sweet melody crippled him. He couldn't let her go without him. Wardens be damned; nothing was going to keep him away from what he needed to breath.

He pulled himself out of bed and dressed once more, longing for her, pushing away any rational thought he had left. He had to be near her, had to touch her, and it had to be now.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke made her way quietly out of the bedroom, leaving Fenris to his dreams, and headed towards the kitchen for some much needed tea to begin her day. A brief discussion with Bodahn had him, Sandal, and Orana scurrying through the waking city to prepare for their journey and Varania's departure. The dwarf wasn't thrilled with the idea of returning to underground but he had offered to go when Hawke mentioned it. Having been there once before would let her be better prepared; provisions previously neglected would be brought this time to make the trip as comfortable as possible.

The steaming tea sat idly in her hands as she thought about retracing old steps. They would no doubt pass by where her sister had fallen, and she dared to wonder if the body would still be there. A grim thought but she was still curious, would the darkspawn have taken her remains?

Varania's entrance interrupted her and she smiled at the elf. Hawke was sad her time with Fenris was cut so short, and couldn't help but feel responsible. She offered the woman some tea, which Varania accepted, and then the two settled into the table opposite each other.

Varania broke the silence with a weighted statement. "You are in love with my brother."

Hawke didn't bother to look at her but nodded, acknowledging the truth perhaps for the first time to someone other than herself. She had never said those words to him she realized, never came out and admitted it to him. He hadn't either, something that hadn't occurred to her until now. Their actions spoke volumes about how they felt about each other. Was there a need to verbalize it?

"And he you," Varania said seeing doubt in Hawke's eyes. She placed her hand on top of Hawke's to offer some comfort. "If I wasn't certain in the way he spoke about you, it was confirmed for me last night."

She had spent very little time with Varania, but Hawke found herself daring to believe the words she spoke. "Will he still," her voice giving away her fears, "when he remembers all that he's lost?"

Varania gently squeezed her hand. "Leto always followed his heart," she began, "which now belongs to you. He will need to revisit his past as it comes, but his heart today will always return to you. I am certain of it."

Hawke lifted her head to the elf before her, captivated by the resemblance she and her brother shared. Soft spoken with such a warm smile, Hawke found herself wanting to drown in her certainty that things will work themselves out. She knew him as Leto and was accepting Fenris; to have been so close to him made her long for her own siblings. "I had a brother," Hawke told her for no real reason she could think of. "We never got along though. My sister, her and I were close. For all their faults I miss them both terribly. I'm glad you and Fenris found each other again."

"I am glad he found you," Varania replied. "So many twists and turns to the story of us reuniting, but it began with you. She may have had him then," she said speaking of Arielle, "but it is clear you have him now regardless of the ghosts of the past." A bit of sadness hinted in her eyes as she looked away. "The woman he used to love is gone. Vasilia is gone. As his memories return that is a loss he will have to deal with. Arielle is a poor tortured soul who knows nothing of their love, of a father who hated her, or the elven family that embraced her. She only knows what she has endured since losing herself, and we can not hold her responsible for that past."

Hawke was surprised at what Varania said, never really looking at the situation that way. She felt threatened by his past and by Arielle's presence, yet Varania managed to make her understand that Arielle is not Vasilia. Fenris may recall a time when they were together, but Arielle did not. Though there was clearly a connection between them, perhaps it didn't run as deeply as Hawke allowed her jealousy to assume. "Do you plan on speaking to her before you leave," Hawke asked.

Varania shook her head. "I regret attacking her, but I wasn't aware then that she too had lost her memory. I have nothing to say to her, and have no wish to be reminded of the friend I have lost by looking at her as she is now."

Hawke understood and didn't prod further. Just imagining someone like Isabela or Aveline not knowing who she was or what they had gone through together was enough to make her heart heavy if she had to see them like that. "I wish you could stay longer," Hawke admitted. "I feel as if we could have been closer given time."

Varania smiled. "We will be. You keep my brother safe and then visit as soon as you can."

"I look forward to it," Hawke said honestly. She heard movement above the kitchen upstairs and knew Fenris was awake. "Sounds like he's finally risen," she said smiling to herself. "I guess it's almost time then."

Varania nodded as she stood, Hawke following her lead. "Tell him," Varania told her softly. "Do not hide your feelings from him. Though I have no doubt he is aware, it is still something that needs to be heard."

Hawke swallowed hard and nodded, accepting her advice and realizing the truth in it. "I will," she promised. "I'm not certain when the right time will be within the next few weeks, but I will."

Varania grinned at her knowingly. "A discussion of love needs no right time; do it sooner rather than regret not doing it later."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Mmm Isabela," the heavy accent drifted into her sleep as he caressed her outer thigh. "How you continue to seduce me I shall never know."

Isabela stirred at his touch and his warm breath upon her ear. "Always blaming me for the all-nighters," she joked as she turned to him. His lips stole hers with a passionate need, sliding his hand now up her inner thigh. She giggled at his tickling touch. "You sure know how to wake a girl," she said pulling away from him.

"My dear, it is you that wakes every sense and muscle I have with your dangerous ways." He sat up and stretched, glaring at the sunlight streaming into Isabela's room. Through a yawn he said, "I suppose the King will be most cross with me."

Isabela got out of bed to get a drink, her naked body glistening in the morning rays. "Too bad he couldn't join us, he was so corruptible last time."

Zevran laughed. "Indeed," he agreed. "Though not as bendy as I'd like."

Isabela offered him a glass of water as she sat back on the bed. "Are you leaving today?"

Zevran nodded. "A relentless task keeping the King alive," he told her. "Traveling with him can be tiresome, and we must acquisition a new ship since the last one was less than desirable."

Isabela's eyes widened. "In need of a ship you say," she said with a hint of excitement.

He reached for her hand and kissed the back of it, then planted several pecks up her arm. "What is going on in that devilish mind of yours Isabela?"

A wide grin crossed her face. "I happen to have recently aquired a ship, and have been dying to get her out in the ocean again." She pulled her arm away from him and stood, suddenly giddy with anticipation. "I don't suppose you could convince him to let me take you to Ferelden?"

Zevran lay back down with his hands folded behind his head. "I suppose I could," he pondered, staring at the ceiling. "But I may need some convincing to do so."

Isabela took a running leap into the bed and jumped on top of him, straddling his nakedness with her own through the sheet. "And you say I'm incorrigible?"

"Mhmm," he said pulling her closer to him for another passionate kiss.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Arielle wandered the Amell Estate wondering where everyone had gone to. The servants were nowhere to be found, and the fires in all the fireplaces seemed to be holding on to their last embers. She noticed the door was open to the room Fenris' sister was staying in, and she dared to peek inside. The bed was neatly made, everything seemingly in its place, and there was no sight of the woman staying there.

She continued down the hall, randomly opening doors, curious why there was so many bedrooms for someone who lived alone. Must be a rich person thing she figured, having intimate knowledge of every one of Danarius' bedrooms in his home. Through the small hallway leading to the living room, a brief stop in the kitchen, then onwards upstairs.

The room to the left was much like the ones downstairs; seemingly ready to be occupied yet no one did. A noticeable difference were the woman's clothing in the closet; too fancy to be anything Hawke would wear she realized. Whose room was this, and why had her things remained?

She left that room and entered the only other room in this section of the second floor. Now this room was clearly Hawke's; armor stand, weapon stand, various tools for keeping both in pristine condition. Her closet was full of practical, everyday clothes that were worn under her armor. Arielle poked through dresser drawers full of undergarments and an assortment of soaps and potions. She opened a few vials to see what they contained; recognizing most from her time with Danarius, and discovered that others were sweeter, as if some kind of perfume. She shrugged and put them back in their place.

The bed was still disheveled from the previous nights sleep, and Arielle sat on it to test its comfort. Of course her bed would be more comfortable than those in the guest rooms. She grabbed the nearest pillow and held it close to her, feeling its softness. A familiar scent teased her senses, and she buried her head into it.

Fenris had laid here.

The sound of the front door startled her, and she threw the pillow back into the mess of sheets and left the room quickly. She knew it was him before she heard him call her name, and descended the stairs to meet him. "Anders?"

He met her in the living room, holding both of her arms while scanning the area. "Are you the only one here?"

She shrugged and nodded, sensing his anger but was confused by it. She pulled away from his grasp and took a step back. "What is it," she asked softly.

He rested his staff against the wall and ran his hand through his hair. "They left you alone, knowing the danger you are currently in? What were they thinking?"

"Maybe they weren't," Arielle offered. "It's no matter, they probably will return shortly."

His anger was clear but was beginning to quickly settle as the closeness of her calmed him. The soft hum he had grown attached to had returned, and he realized he could focus on little else but her. "Why did you pull away," he questioned.

"You were hurting me," came the response that crushed his heart. "Will you wait with me until they return?"

He didn't mean to hurt her, hadn't realized his grip was that hard, and tried to offer her an apology. "I am sorry," he said honestly. "I am angry they would do such a thing, and it overwhelmed me. Of course I will wait with you. In fact I wanted to let you and Hawke know I'd be accompanying you to the Deep Roads."

Arielle sat on the couch and leaned her head back to stare at the ceiling. "I thought you didn't want to go," she stated, remaining closed off to him.

Anders sat beside her, feeling the distance she had created. "I was up all night because of it. I do not want you going there, that hasn't changed. But if you're insisting, then I must go as well to keep you safe."

She turned her head to look at him. "Are you my protector now?"

He gave her a disconcerted look as he pondered the intent behind the question. "I care for you, certainly, after what we shared yesterday. Is it wrong for me to want you to be alright?"

Arielle refocused her attention on a mark on the ceiling. She felt his confusion and sighed, wondering what she could do for him. It was clear he expected more from her, and perhaps couldn't comprehend that she was unable to give him what he wanted or needed. She readjusted her position to face him properly, hoping to find a way to make him understand.

As she closed her eyes he felt the reconnection between them. Her soul seemed to merge with his own, and he was flooded with the same overwhelming feeling he had known when they were together. He dared to reach out to her and caress her face, feeling his own fingertips upon her skin mixed with the sensation of her face under his touch. "Why do you keep me from this," he whispered, closing his eyes as well to fully appreciate the sensation of their combined perceptions.

"I offer you the truth," Arielle spoke. _Search within_, she then said with her mind to him, _and tell me what you find?_

Anders concentrated on pushing his own thoughts and feelings aside as he focused in on hers, uncertain what he was looking for but determined not to lose this connection again. Her memories began to flood into him; things that Danarius had done to her, the torture and brutality she had endured. He fought to keep control of his own emotions as he felt what she did in those moments; the fear, the pain, the knowledge of being nothing more than a slave to be used and then tossed aside. He felt a tear fall down his cheek as he uncovered all the hiding places within her mind she would run to when laying naked on a bed, being forced into by her master.

_You are still thinking as yourself,_ she called to him._ Detach your feelings and concentrate on mine. What do I feel at those moments?_

He did as instructed, though slightly difficult, ignoring the heartbreak he felt for her. Anders felt his head begin to ache as he explored her mind, and knew he was doing something wrong when all he could find was darkness.

"You are not wrong," she spoke aloud again, slowly disconnecting herself from him this time. "You find nothing because there_ is_ nothing."

His own emotions surfaced as her mind drifted from his, and he found he couldn't remove his hand from her face. "I want to kill him for what he's done to you," Anders admitted, anger threatening to consume him. Normally when he felt this way about anything, Justice would surface and he was pushed to the side. Anders was surprised yet again at the spirits silence, and almost relished in being able to be infuriated again.

"I don't," Arielle said simply. "I feel your hatred, and the love you hold within you. I recognize it but am not capable of experiencing it."

Anders disagreed. "I have seen you angry! Just yesterday you were angry at Hawke."

"That is not hatred," she explained. "Love and hate are extreme emotions that I don't really understand."

A solemn expression crossed his face. "So us, being together, meant nothing to you?" He finally pulled away from her, unable to look her in the eyes.

Arielle tried to find the words to explain, unsure why he couldn't simply_ know_ what she was trying to say by merging with her. "I have never experienced what we shared together," she tried. "To be so in touch with someone that I could feel what you felt. Your touch was...gentle. I desired it." Her cheeks flushed as she admitted, "I still do."

"I can not understand how you can separate sex from love," Anders said bitterly.

She didn't take offense to his tone; instead she attempted to explain further. "I consider what happened with Danarius as sex. An act between two people, willingly or not. I don't know love Anders, but I do know being with you was different than sex. It was a connection I offered you, _wanted_ to have with you." He finally turned his head back to meet her eyes, but now she looked away. "You asked me what I wanted and I showed you; I wanted to feel like a woman, not a slave. I wanted to feel what it was like to be normal, at least for a little while." She was surprised at the sadness she began to feel inside. "Please don't think it meant nothing to me."

Anders felt her despair, realizing she hadn't completely detached from his mind. He wanted to kick himself for confronting her as he did, and his own stupidity for not putting it together sooner. "For a moment I must have seen you as normal, for I placed the same expectations on you as I would any other woman. Forgive me," he asked, "for my ignorance."

"If I were any other normal woman," Arielle watched his reaction, "could you see me loving you?"

He placed both his hands on her face, caressing her cheekbones with his thumbs. "If only I were that lucky," Anders whispered before pressing his lips onto hers.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris grew impatient with the harbormaster as Hawke and Varania watched from a distance. It seemed there was a slight commotion at the docks this morning, and the harbormaster as well as the workers were busy in a largely forming crowd. Hawke recognized the Kings guards as she stood on the steps to get a better view, and sighed at their horrible timing. "Fenris," she called to him, seeing his agitation.

He came skulking towards her and his sister, his anger surfacing. "Is it not bad enough I must tolerate the stench of fish from the fishing vessels, now we are expected to wait until the Kings departure?"

"Wait here," Hawke offered. "Let me squeeze in there and see what I can do."

Varania and Fenris watched as Hawke maneuvered her way through the crowd, her rogue skills clearly an asset at going unnoticed. She slipped past the guards as well, sneaking onto the ship that the King was to set sail on. As she made her way to the deck in search for the boats captain, she was caught off guard suddenly by a dagger to her throat. "Ah, could not stay away could you," the Antivan accent whispered in her ear. "My dear Champion, you should've come with us last night when we offered."

Hawke shook her head at Zevran's advances when he removed the blade from her neck. "Alas I was a bit tied up last night, my apologies."

"Tsk tsk, rope too and no invitation? You wound me with your taunting," he said putting his dagger away. "Are you here to see the King? Or say goodbye to Isabela?"

Hawke's eyes widened at the assassin. "Isabela is going with you?"

"Hmmm," Zevran realized, "it seems our sultry friend had not thought to inform you of her departure. Allow me to present you with the facts. We needed a ride to Ferelden, and Isabela offered to take us."

"Where is she," Hawke asked angrily, though not surprised Isabela would jump at the chance to leave the city.

"Right behind you," Isabela said as she approached them. Zevran disappeared with a bow, leaving the women to say their goodbyes. "I was going to tell you," she began, "but it happened so fast we didn't have time. I have to get them out of there before more refugees try to jump on board. It's been a nightmare this past hour getting the King below deck."

Hawke stood defiant, crossing her chest with her arms. "Do you plan on returning?"

Isabela rolled her eyes. "Of course sweet thing, I can't leave you alone with all the trouble you're causing. Besides, Varric informed me you were headed back to the Deep, so I didn't think you'd mind me making a quick trip of my own."

Hawke was relieved to hear her friend wasn't going for good, and offered her a hug instead of the planned slap she had been holding back. "Safe travels then," she said as she pulled away. "I guess I'll see you when I return."

"You too Hawke," Isabela replied. "Don't do anything foolish like get dead. That would totally suck."

Hawke laughed as she walked with Isabela off the ship. "If you could hurry it up a bit, the crowds are holding up any other ships leaving and we're trying to get Varania out of here."

Isabela nodded as she untied the ropes holding her ship at the dock. "We're heading out now. Seriously Hawke, do be careful."

Hawke hugged her friend once more and then rejoined Fenris and Varania. It took another half hour for things to return to normal once Isabela's ship left port, and finally Fenris was able to get Varania on the next ship to Antiva. From there she would head home, safely away from the impending troubles of Kirkwall.

Hawke wanted to allow Fenris a private goodbye with his sister, so she saw to hers first. "Safe journey," she said as she smiled at the elf. "May the Maker guide you home."

Varania took both of Hawke's hands in hers. "Thank you. Hawke," she paused, "if I may ask, what is your first name?"

Hawke was surprised at the question, but answered with a shrug. "It's Aeryn, but only family has ever called me by it."

"Which is why I asked," Varania informed her. She released her hands and embraced her. "Take care Aeryn, and remember what I told you."

Hawke was taken aback by the implication that she was now a part of their family. She held on to Varania tightly, hiding the tears in her eyes from the gesture. "And I will do my best to keep him safe."

Varania pulled away and offered her one last smile. "I know you will."

Hawke's eyes met Fenris' as he watched the exchange, and then walked off with his sister towards the ship. Her heart was full from the acceptance of Varania, and knew she had to make things right with Fenris. She vowed silently to herself to not only be there for him without jealousy, but to tell him how she really felt about him. She owed it to Varania, and to him.

And to herself.


	29. Truth

Hawke climbed the stairs to the old Qunari compound. Dust and dirt kicked up under her feet from the lack of use over the years. In the absence of a viscount many things in Kirkwall were left unattended, and Hawke imagined it would be another few years before anyone bothered to reopen this section of the city.

Fenris followed in silence, watching in fascination as Hawke expertly unlocked the gates to the sealed off location. She had done this before he assumed, as she held the gate open just enough for him to slip by, and then shut and locked it behind them. Another one of her spots, he mused, that she would run away to when she needed time to herself. It was obvious in the way she strode through the now empty courtyard, up another unused flight of steps, and settled into the large bench previously occupied by the Arishok. "Come here often?" he asked, breaking the silence for the first time since Varania's departure.

Hawke nodded as she watched Fenris sit on the bench beside her. "The sound of the water is peaceful here without the noise and smell of the docks," she explained. "Even though they left so much carnage in their wake, they certainly took care of this place."

Fenris looked around and was impressed at how the compound now looked. With the exception of the large stone chair they both rested on, all evidence of the Qunari having been here was gone. Not even a hint of the fire pits that once would've served them for dinner and warmth shown on the clay stone beneath their feet. They knew the Qunari had planned the attack on the city for a long time, and it was apparent that they knew it would be their last stand. The lack of anything left behind was simply more evidence of a basic principle of the Qun: honor and respect.

Hawke reached under the bench and dragged out a small crate, popping it open with her dagger. Inside Fenris noticed several items of use and couldn't help the smile that dared to form on his lips. "Provisions?"

Hawke's face turned to his, a soft twinkle in her eye. "You're learning," she said as she removed a bottle of wine from the box. She slid it back into its place and opened the bottle, taking a long sip for herself before offering it to him. "'Always be prepared' my father used to say."

Fenris accepted her gift and brought the bottle to his lips, allowing the warm liquid to calm him. He was surprised he was suddenly nervous to be alone with Hawke. Perhaps it was the location; the complete isolation of the compound and its walls surrounding them. Or perhaps he knew that it was finally time they begin to address all the events of the last few days. Whatever was going on in Hawke's mind, Fenris allowed her to set the pace, trusting her to guide them both to some understanding.

"I had a dream last night," she began as he returned the bottle of wine to her. She indulged in another sip of courage before continuing. "More so a nightmare really. Months we were apart as I searched for you, and when I finally did find you, you had no memory of me." She didn't dare look at him to see his reaction, instead she focused on the morning sunrise above them. "It broke my heart," she spoke softly, "to have needed you for so long only to have you reject me."

Fenris shifted his position next to her, concentrating on the stone beneath his feet. "I'm sorry," he offered her, not knowing what else to say.

She responded to his apology with a sigh, not wanting him to feel guilty with her internal struggles of their current situation. "I think I realize now what the dream meant." She turned to look at him. "I was able to find you, regardless of the outcome. Now it's your turn to find your way back to me."

Fenris lifted his head to meet her eyes; not full of sadness as he feared seeing, but hinted towards something that he wasn't quite sure of. "I wasn't aware I was lost," he said before he realized that wasn't true. He was lost, unsure of everything that had been happening around him lately. His memories, his feelings towards a woman he no longer knew, and his wavering status with the woman before him. How did he not realize he was indeed already in the darkness he had feared, searching for a way back?

Hawke made no effort to correct him, seeing his thoughts find their way to the truth in his expression. Her patience with him was the one thing she knew he needed; pushing him to choose, or explain himself would do neither of them any good. She waited in silence for him admit it to himself as she passed the wine back to him.

Fenris held the bottle in his hand for a while, looking into it as if all the answers he needed could be found in the dark depths of the red liquid. It seemed every time he closed his eyes lately he was seeing the past, living in it, and then when he opened them she was there, waiting patiently for him as always. She had waited years for him, and when he finally managed to gather the courage to be with her again, the walls in his mind came crashing down. It wasn't fair to her. "You deserve more than I have been able to give," he said to her. "For that I apologize."

Hawke turned her position to face him more easily. "I don't want apologies Fenris," she explained to him, "and I've always understood you give me everything that you can." She thought for a moment, searching for the words to get through to him without pushing him. "Tell me what you need from me. If you wish for me to be by your side, I will, forever." The tears stung before she realized they were about to fall. "If you need me to walk away for a while, then tell me now so I don't make things harder for you, or hurt you more."

Fenris dared to look at her, a sudden panic stirring in his chest at the thought of her leaving him. How could she think _she_ was hurting _him?_ He knew it was the other way around, saw it clearly in the hovering tears that would spill should she blink her eyes. Anger replaced panic, hate for himself for doing this to her, making her think she had to set him free for the second time.

He stood and walked a few steps away, knowing that behind his back the tears would fall and then she'd wipe them quickly away so he wouldn't feel guilty. Countless times he was painfully aware that she suffered in silence, but would continue to put on a brave face for him so that he could work through what he needed to. Here she was again doing the same; willing to let him figure out what he needed to without the added pressure of their relationship.

Once again she would sacrifice her own needs for him.

He owed her the truth. The realization hit him harder than anything. He needed to tell her everything, the entire painful truth, and then beg for her to remain at his side.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Her lips were soft on his as he pressed against them, hands still holding her face as his fingers tangled within her hair. Arielle didn't hold back in her response to his need, feeling her own tongue glide upon his when she closed her eyes. She knew he'd move to nibble at her lower lip next, felt his planning in his mind before his body followed through. Anders devoured the taste of her, the warmth of her breath upon his face as she breathed through her nose, allowing their mouths to remain connected. He wasn't as elegant; his panting growing louder as his need for her outweighed his need for air.

Her hands moved to the back of his head, nails grazing his scalp as she held on to him and buried her hands in his silky locks. She felt the tingling of his skin as her touch brought pleasurable bumps to the surface. She couldn't help but explore what he was feeling as he felt it under her touch, their reconnection enhancing all sensations. She moved a hand to his face and thumbed the short stubble of hair that shadowed his bottom cheek, and felt the softness of her touch increase his desire for her.

Anders pulled away slowly, dragging her bottom lip with him until it would stretch no further, and stared into those eyes he was forever lost in. "Do you see yourself as I do," he asked her, still holding her in place before him. "Do you feel what I feel for you?"

Arielle nodded, resting her forehead upon his gently, still holding him as well. "Do you understand that I can't," she whispered softly, immediately feeling the painful ache within his heart at her words. It was disorienting, the struggle and confusion building inside his mind. She tried to sort it out, make sense of it, distinguish it from her own inability to comprehend, but it was overwhelming her. She began to close herself off to him before it became too much.

Anders grip on her tightened as defiance swelled within him. "No," he said harshly, demanding her to stop. "You wanted me to search inside you for what wasn't there, now you will experience what is inside me without running away from it."

Arielle pulled her hands away from him but Anders didn't release her. The more she struggled under him the tighter he held on, compelling her to look at him as his emotions ran rampant. She attempted again to shut him out before falling into the depths of his soul, only to discover she was unable to. He was somehow keeping the connection open against her will. "Release me," she begged him, no longer struggling under his grasp but slowly falling into the depths within him.

"No," he repeated more softly this time, willing her to enter into him in the hopes she could find a way to love and be loved. "You must understand what it means to be alive, to be free."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris didn't turn to look at her as he began his confession, regretting having to do so. "That first night, when I began to remember, I ran like a coward. I wanted you to hate me. Yet every year that passed I wanted nothing more than to be with you again." He lowered his head in the shame he felt for having abandoned her on that night. It was a decision he still despised himself for. "When it happened again, I wanted it to be different."

"But it wasn't," Hawke continued for him. "You started to remember again."

He nodded, closing his eyes unbeknownst to her. The admission was difficult enough for him, the understanding in her voice made it even harder. "Flashes at first, pictures of another time." Of another woman. And then the feel of her. The taste of her. Fenris recalled it all vividly now. "That was the first time I remembered her, though I didn't know it was Arielle at the time."

Hawke kept her breath as steady as possible. She wanted to allow him this time to open up to her without judging him, but she couldn't help the brief stab to the heart at his revelation. Hoping her voice didn't betray her, she tried to make it easier for him. "I knew Fenris," she managed to say evenly. "I knew you were remembering something that night."

He turned to look at her. "We had agreed to stop if it happened…"

"I didn't mind," she admitted. "I wanted to be with you. I could tell something was happening but I didn't want to stop and you didn't seem to want to either."

"It was not fair to you," Fenris said sitting back down beside her.

She placed her hand on his to try and relieve some of his guilt. "I don't remember complaining," she joked honestly. "I woke up and you were still there. That was enough for me."

Fenris wasn't sure how to follow up, so instead he picked up the forgotten bottle of wine, wetting his drying mouth. Hawke was seemingly okay with his first admission, even though inside he still felt he betrayed her somehow, although unwillingly. He imagined she didn't want to know the details, so he decided to move on. "I dreamt that night, though I suppose now I can say it was another memory, of the last time I saw her before receiving my markings."

"What happened," Hawke asked, her hand still on his.

He shrugged. "We were caught; she was taken away, I was knocked out. After that is unclear, though I imagine the ritual was performed days later."

Pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. Now Hawke understood why Fenris was forced to endure what he did. A father's love? No, more like pride, torturing the servant that dared to touch his daughter and create a spectacle for the magister. "Punishment for the relationship," Hawke assumed out loud.

"I think so," Fenris confirmed. "Varania mentioned I fought for a position as his bodyguard," he continued, "a position that would bring my family's freedom."

"And you'd be closer to her," Hawke added what he obviously didn't want to tell her. He nodded, offering her the wine again. She accepted but held off on drinking any more, working through the details of his past in her head. "So you had already known her before you went to work for Danarius."

"Yes," he replied. "Varania says she was a part of our lives for years, though I can only recall a little." He held back from the details of what he knew, concern for Hawke's feelings weighing heavily on his mind. She didn't need to know that he remembered how they met, or their first kiss, the details of their first time together. But there was one other thing he had to tell her, needed to say out loud so she would understand his need to protect Arielle. "The night Danarius found us together, the last time I saw her, she lied to him, told him she was using me."

"She was trying to protect you," Hawke assumed, knowing if put in the same situation she'd try to do the same.

"I decided we were going to hide no longer," Fenris informed her. "I stood up to Danarius, for the first time. Told him I was leaving and taking her with me, never to return." He shut his eyes in an attempt to silence the memory of her screams echoing in her head. "That is what I remembered last night." He opened his eyes and looked at the lyrium lines that were embedded into his arms. "I am responsible for this."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders closed his eyes as his head rested on Arielle's, her struggles coming to a halt as she was pulled into him. Although he knew she was now completely connected to his mind, he had no concept of what it was she was seeing or feeling. Her body felt weightless in his arms as he held her, waiting.

Arielle flowed through his memories at a dizzying pace. A child, a family, torn apart by men in silver armor. Walls, a prison, the need to escape. Women, several, offering themselves to him. Freedom, captivity, repeated several times at different ages. Creatures so monstrous they were frightening. A ritual, blood consumption, changing his very essence. Another ritual, the bonding, of a just spirit that turned vengeful. Hawke, his feelings for her, and then the hurt of unrequited love. Desperation at an unfair way of life. And then she saw herself, a longing and lust and need he had for her. A song in the distance which grew stronger when she was near.

Arielle felt ill as all of it rushed into her, her body resisting the urge to expel the contents of her stomach. She tried to slow it all down in her mind, stop the frantic pace in which the images and emotions flooded her. Terror gripped her heart as she found it difficult to breath, her lungs tightening and her throat closing.

But next came his deeper thoughts. Where he hid the fighting, the pain, the brutality in his past. The heartbreaks, the loneliness, the emptiness and self hatred. A darker side where the vengeance came from, and it is there that she found Justice, hiding in the darkness.

Anders broke the connection this time, feeling her body trembling within his grasp. She began coughing so violently as if he had choked her, gasping for air as if she was drowning. "I'm so sorry," he said to her stroking her hair as she fell against his chest, curling into him. Every second seemed like an eternity to him as she grabbed fistfuls of his robe, struggling against some unknown entity he couldn't see. It wasn't until he noticed that her markings were glowing under her clothes that he too nearly panicked.

"I saw him," she whispered into his chest through rapid breaths that hadn't calmed.

Anders lifted her chin so their eyes met, the look of anxiety clouding her normal beauty. "What happened," he asked, moving random strands of hair from her face.

Arielle swallowed once she realized her throat was no longer tight, and told him what transpired. "Your spirit just tried to kill me."


	30. White Lies

Hawke took several deep breaths to calm her emotions from overwhelming her. Fenris' admission to being responsible for receiving his markings frightened her. That he would go to such an extent, to defy a powerful magister for his first love, it both touched her and terrified her. She knew the man she loved now had such a big heart, though he hid it from most, so she wasn't surprised to learn that hadn't changed about him no matter what Danarius had done to him. But her bigger fear was the emotions that he was remembering as well. She waited for that admission, the knot in her stomach tightening with every second that passed.

"Varania told me of our past," Fenris continued, changing the subject for a moment. "My father was a mage," he admitted for the first time out loud.

This surprised Hawke. "That must have been difficult to hear," she said, knowing his hatred for mages. The knots in her stomach began to subside with the change of topic.

"Would it surprise you to know it wasn't? I have no memory of him. Varania told me he was killed for not resorting to blood magic."

"I'm sorry," Hawke offered.

Fenris shrugged. "I can respect him now, even if I do not remember him. Varania claims she had not used her own magic for years before the other night, choosing a much simpler life in the Imperium."

"So a father and a sibling mage; we have that in common," Hawke smiled. It was nice to learn a little of his past that didn't fuel her jealousy. "Is Varania your only sibling?"

He nodded. "After our father died it was us and our mother for a time. It seems her death was also the result of my actions."

Hawke didn't pry further, wishing Varania could've brought some happier memories to him. She didn't want him to focus on all of the negative of his past, but it seemed this was the life he had led before her. "Even though you are learning of your past for the first time," Hawke tried to lessen his guilt, "it can not be changed. What's done is done. I'd hate for you to discover what you've always wanted to know only to have you hate yourself for it."

Fenris turned to look at her, and while she expected him to appear upset over the suggestion, he almost smiled. "Varania said that as well."

Relief washed over her as she returned a grin. "See? Then you have to listen to us."

"Hmm," he replied, trying to do just that. "You and her are similar," he stated. "Considering how close she says we were, perhaps that is why I was drawn to you from the beginning."

Hawke accepted the rare compliment from him and felt a small blush hit her cheeks. "I didn't get to spend a lot of time with her, but I can see us easily becoming close friends. The two of you are so opposite; she tries to see the good in every situation."

"And I brood," he finished for her, "or so I'm told."

Hawke couldn't hold back the laughter as she doubled over. "Haha, yes, that you do and do it well. But you've come a long way since we first met. I have no doubt in a few more years your dry sense of humor will outshine any gloom that seems to follow you around."

Fenris couldn't help himself as he brought his hand to her cheek. Her smile and laughter drew him in and he needed to touch her, remind her that he was still hers.

The sudden seriousness in his eyes and the touch of his fingers on her skin melted her, and Hawke thought for a moment he was going to kiss her. Had he done so, all thought of reason would leave her mind and they would never continue the conversation she knew they should be having.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders searched within himself, calling out to Justice with such force Arielle could sense it. He was angry, that was obvious by the clenched teeth and hands that formed fists in his lap. Arielle had moved away from him, needing physical as well as mental distance, as she calmed herself from the spirits attempts to hurt her. Anders didn't seem to notice, as his eyes were closed and jaw tightened, demanding his internal companion to answer for his actions.

Silence. Nearly deafening. Without Arielle in his thoughts, and with Justice retreating to the furthest hiding place he could find, there was nothing in his mind to hold on to. The thunderous sound of blood flow ringing in his ears was all he heard; that eerie now familiar stomping of footsteps in the snow. He opened his eyes to look at her, and knew he was about to face the consequences of his and Justice's actions.

Arielle quickly ran through every drill Danarius had taught her to close off her mind to others. While it somehow never worked with him, Danarius had her work with other mages to ensure she could perform the task efficiently. She felt his eyes upon her and ignored him, instead concentrating on protecting herself should he think to force himself on her again.

She was suddenly frighteningly aware she was alone in the estate with him. Confused by her earlier need to cling to him after such an assault, now she feared the solitude. Even more confused she was when she considered the manner in which Anders tried to show her what love was. She may not be very knowledgeable in such things, but she was pretty sure _that _wasn't the way to a girls heart.

Anders pulled his gaze from her that she was avoiding, and instead concentrated on the fire. When that too held no answers, he rubbed his face with his hands. The stillness of Arielle still seated on the couch with him pained his heart with guilt. He should say something, or offer to leave, apologize, beg for forgiveness, but he too was frozen in the realization of what he had just done.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke placed her hand over his and held it for a moment before gently pulling Fenris away from her. "Have you had any other memories return to you?" she asked, returning to the harder topic of Arielle.

Fenris grabbed the bottle of wine, needing something to hold on to in place of her. Another sip warmed his throat as he continued. "Any memory I have had involved her, or the thought of her. Brief moment with Danarius when I worked for him, but that one ended with her as well."

Hawke remained quiet, pretending to be a sympathetic ear while fighting the jealousy within her. Why was she so insistent on breaking away from his kiss? She now silently berated herself for not just letting it happen, damned the consequences of ending their conversation early. Her inner struggles seemed to be consuming her, and without realizing it she had taken the bottle of wine from him and finished it.

He didn't seem to notice as his own thoughts wandered. "Everything after our capture I am familiar with, and I know I never saw her again. What I don't know, and what Varania didn't know, was what happened to_ her_."

Hawke nearly bit her tongue from forming a reply. She knew what happened to Arielle; she was painfully aware in great detail. The amount of guilt he just admitted to would triple if he knew the truth. Was it right for her to deny him though? "What would knowing that accomplish," she asked cautiously.

Fenris looked at the sky, the sun now shining brightly above. "It will solve an unanswered question for her," he remembered. "She has memories that I know to be false. She claims to remember being Danarius' slave for years with no recollection of being his daughter. The mages planted those memories there, I am sure of it."

Hawke shifted a bit uncomfortably. The information Orana had given her wouldn't benefit either of them she decided; more guilt for Fenris and fact of torture and abuse for Arielle. It made sense to her now to keep this from him.

She followed his gaze towards the sky, surprised to find that most of the morning had already passed. "We should be heading back," Hawke said. While she didn't want to end their conversation on such a topic, they had to finish preparations for the Deep Roads.

Fenris stood, agreeing with her assessment of the time. He held out a hand for her as she stood. "Hawke," he stopped her before their departure, "I know there is more we need to discuss."

She offered him a smile. "There is, but it can't be all done in a day. We'll have plenty of time to talk on the road."

He moved his weight from one leg to another. "Are we..alright then?"

Hawke leaned in and pressed her lips to his, offering him the soft kiss he had looked for earlier. When she pulled away, her reply was simple. "We will be."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders and Arielle hadn't changed position in nearly an hour. Arielle couldn't decide between staying or running, and Anders was just as indecisive. Lost in their own thoughts, it wasn't until Varric came through the front door calling for Hawke that both of them jumped. "Hawke, you here?"

Anders finally moved, standing to greet the dwarf as he came into the living room from the foyer. "Varric, Hawke's not here."

Varric pinched his brow, obviously antsy about something. "Shit. Something's going down on the steps to the Keep. It's not pretty."

Anders followed Varric out of the estate, making their way through a crowd that was forming outside Hawke's door. Arielle quietly followed behind, curiosity getting the better of her.

On the steps of Viscounts Way, Orsino stood above a large crowd of nobles and merchants. His words echoed through the square, the normally soft spoken mage now booming loudly for all to hear. "I know you fear us. Knight-Commander Meredith uses that fear to take control of your city. She opposes every effort to replace Viscount Dumar, and you have seen the chaos of her reign. Will you allow it?"

The crowd around them shook their heads, obviously touched by Orsino's words. Varric groaned audibly as Anders smiled openly at the display from the defiant First Enchanter.

Arielle felt something stir within her, a feeling she was unfamiliar with pulled at her mind. She held on to the wall for support, concentrating on pushing aside whatever seemed to be attempting to call to her.

Cheers quickly turned to silence as Meredith walked through the crowd, a sea of bodies shifting to allow her entrance. "Return to your homes," she commanded. "This farce is over."

Arielle felt it as she walked by, the sword on the woman's back nearly hypnotizing her into some strange trance. She seemed to lose focus on the crowd around her as she began to move, inching towards Meredith without thought.

"Wait!" Orsino called to the crowd as well as to Meredith. "Perhaps there are some who might disagree with you _Knight Commander_."

Anders turned his head to follow Orsino's gaze, seeing Hawke and Fenris making their way through the crowd. _Impeccable timing_, Anders thought.

Meredith scoffed. "Do not hide behind the Champion," she said to Orsino. "She has no role in this."

Varric gathered from the whispers of "it's the Champion" that Hawke had made an entrance, though he couldn't see with the blighted humans in the way. It was confirmed when he heard her voice above all others. "I don't need anyone speaking for me, Knight-Commander." _That's my Hawke,_ he smiled proudly to no one, not noticing that Arielle had now moved passed him and closer to the arguing couple.

"Is that so," Meredith said approaching Orsino and the front of the crowd, demanding as much attention as Orsino had.

Orsino met her face to face, templars at the ready in case it got out of hand. "I think the Champions views would be appreciated," Orsino said boldly against Meredith. "Or do you fear what she has to say?"

Meredith removed the scowl she had for Orsino and lifted her head a little higher. "I fear nothing," she said shifting to Hawke. "My only interest here is in keeping order and protecting the innocent."

Arielle was beyond Anders now, only two rows of people away from Meredith. She stared at the sword like a beacon, guiding her in all the darkness that surrounded her, pulling her in.

Somewhere, someone coughed loudly and pointedly, and for a second Hawke could've sworn it was Anders choking on the Knight Commanders words. She ignored Meredith for now and focused her attention on Orsino. Just what kind of game was he playing here? "What are you trying to do," she asked him publicly. "Cause a rebellion?"

Hawke felt Fenris take a sharp breath in and then leave his position behind her. He carefully made his way through the crowd towards Arielle, who was now dangerously close to Meredith. Each step she took he took two, maneuvering in and out of the sea of bodies who didn't even seem to notice him.

"The people of this city need to know what is really happening," Orsino said to Hawke. "Her refusal to listen to reason leaves me little choice."

Hawke tried to be rational. "Threatening each other isn't going to help matters," she said to both of them. "Though, Knight-Commander, your measures have become more extreme lately."

"Kirkwall needs its templars more than it needs a new ruler," she said simply.

Arielle was now behind Meredith, blocked from view by the templars who stood beside her. She reached out her hand towards the sword, her markings glowing softly, somehow encouraging her forward. As her fingertip nearly grazed the blade, Fenris was behind her pulling her away, his hand on her mouth should she make a sound. She made no effort to scream or resist; she remained transfixed on the weapon.

"And when will that end," Orsino demanded. "When will you stop seeing evil in every corner?"

"When it's no longer there," Meredith said, unaware of the incident that just happened behind her.

"You're both at fault here," Hawke said, eying the sword on Meredith's back and fondling the letter from Orsino to Danarius in her pocket. She had hoped by saying so, they would get a hint she knew more, and would back down from this insane display of power play. "I can not support either of you, not like this."

Fenris escorted Arielle back to Hawke's estate, passing Varric on the way. The dwarf gave the elf an odd look but redirected his attention back to the fight. Whatever was going on with the lyrium twins could wait, he thought, knowing he'd be a part of it within minutes anyway. For now he had to focus on the outcome of the insanity in front of him. What kind of writer would he be if he missed the details?

Hawke turned her back on the couple, now facing the people of Kirkwall who were listening intently on their every word. "Has this city not been through enough these last few years," she asked the crowd as well as Orsino and Meredith indirectly. "Do you both forget that working together is what limited the needless slaughter of innocents by the Qunari?"

While Orsino still appeared angry and ignored her words, Meredith almost softened a bit by backing down. "This will not be solved today," she conceded. "But I will not tolerate any more public speeches from the First Enchanter."

Hawke turned back to look at Orsino. "There has to be a better way," she said to him, playing on the fact he still thought they were allies. "Taunting each other in public helps no one, not when she is the current power in Kirkwall."

"I'm right here," Meredith spat at the Champion.

Hawke ignored her. "Please Orsino, go back to the Gallows. Walk away before this gets ugly."

Orsino's eyes darkened briefly, but he nodded in resign. "For now Champion, I will do as you request. But things need to change around here, before matters get taken into by the wrong hands."

Meredith narrowed her eyes at the First Enchanter. "Is that a threat?"

Orsino met her stare with his own and their eyes locked briefly before he turned around and headed towards the docks. Meredith said nothing further as she headed up the stairs towards the Keep, no doubt to harass Aveline for her guards not being around to control the situation.

The crowd began to lessen; seeing the public argument over the nobles returned to their homes and the merchants to their stalls. Hawke walked up to Varric and Anders as they waited outside her home. "Nice job Hawke," Varric complimented. "Thought it was going to get ugly there for a minute."

Hawke shrugged, bigger concerns on her mind. "Where did Fenris go?"

Varric's eyes widened as he remembered there was more entertainment to be had inside. "Last I saw he was dragging Arielle into the estate with his hand over her mouth. If I didn't know him I'd say it was a kidnapping."

Anders and Hawke glanced at each other, concern filling both their eyes. Without another word the three quickly headed into the estate.


	31. Love

Varric busted through the door of Hawke's estate before the others, searching the immediate vicinity for Fenris and Arielle. He didn't want to miss a minute more of whatever was transpiring within. Hawke's bravery in standing up to the power of Kirkwall was an epic tale in itself, but he knew the more interesting story was probably within.

Hawke sighed as she removed her weapons and placed them on the table in the foyer. She was in no rush to see Fenris and Arielle together, even if her own curiosity was gnawing at her. Anders noticed her apprehension and questioned her. "Are you not concerned about what happened?"

Hawke shrugged. "Seen one damsel in distress you've seen em all," she joked.

Anders became angry. "Of course you don't care, you're the one that left her alone this morning! What if someone came after her while no one was home?"

"It was a joke Anders," she tried to defend herself. "And I have most of the city guard and half the mercenaries I used to work with watching the place; she was hardly alone." Hawke ran her fingers through her hair. "Sadly I'm more concerned about heading off to the Deep Roads while Orsino and Meredith are at each others throats."

Anders body relaxed a bit as he released the angry tension growing towards Hawke. "I'm sorry," he muttered. She was right about the Deep Roads, of course, it seemed the timing for their trip was not the greatest. But his concern for Arielle grew, and he followed Varric from the living room, to the study, and then finally the kitchen.

Arielle was seated at the table, a glass of water in front of her untouched, as Fenris leaned against the wall watching her. "Should we add kidnapping to your list of talents?" Varric asked Fenris as he and Anders entered the room, Hawke lingering a small distance behind.

Anders pushed passed Varric and knelt before Arielle, asking her if she was alright. Fenris watched the mage closely, studying the way he placed his hand on Arielle's knee. Hawke observed as well, her suspicions confirmed at the caring way in which Anders was concerned for her. Varric studied everyone, suddenly very aware of the complicated scenario playing out in front of him.

Fenris took his eyes off Arielle and looked at Hawke as he spoke. "The Knight Commanders sword had some sort of effect on her," he explained. "I watched her move towards it and reach for it, though she didn't seem to be in control of her own actions."

"I don't remember," Arielle said more to Anders than the others, in response to what Fenris had told them. "I don't remember any of it."

Varric turned to Hawke. "Maybe going to the Deep Roads is a bad idea Hawke."

"I _need_ to go," Arielle protested.

Hawke opened her mouth to say something, but Anders stood, his body tense once more. "No, we should not be taking you anywhere near that place!" His anger was clear, and Hawke watched him closely for any signs of Justice emerging. "That cavern is covered in red lyrium; it could harm you, or worse kill you!"

Arielle stood, pushing passed Anders so she was now between him and Fenris. "I told you I was going with or without you," she said to Anders. "I can not be here when Danarius' men show up, why don't you understand that?"

Anders turned to face her, clearly forgetting everyone else in the room. "Hawke's killed dozens of people before," he said plainly. "What's a few foot soldiers from Tevinter going to do?"

Fenris broke into the fight now, but kept his voice steady and even. "Clearly you have never been involved in a fight with Danarius' men, or you would not be so quick to dismiss this idea." He moved closer to Arielle, standing directly behind her now and speaking over her shoulder at Anders. "While I do not agree with running, it is the best option to pull these men away from Kirkwall. When they want something bad enough, they will destroy everything in their way to get it."

"That doesn't sound healthy," Varric commented.

"It's not," Fenris replied, still locking eyes with the mage.

Hawke came up behind Anders and placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him. "We hope to lure these men into the Deep Roads with us. Fight them from a fortified position, and if she's up for it, use Arielle's talents to help defeat them." Hawke looked at Arielle who nodded, clearly willing to do whatever was necessary. "I assure you both," she felt the need to address Anders as well as Fenris, "the smallest sign of any reaction to the lyrium and we move out."

All eyes were on Anders, as if waiting for his approval of the plan. They would leave either way, Hawke had already decided that. Fenris had briefed her on the danger of these men entering the city, and Hawke also still had to find Nathaniel Howe. "We need you with us Anders," she said more softly. "Without a healer we will all be in trouble."

Anders pulled away from her and stormed into the living room, clearly upset about being outnumbered. Varric shook his head as he left. "Without Blondie we're screwed."

"We leave before nightfall," Hawke instructed them. "Varric, I need you to go to the Chantry and see if Sebastian will join us. I'll talk to Anders, though I'm almost certain he'll be going no matter how much he wishes not to." Hawke addressed Fenris and Arielle. "You two should get ready, once Bodahn returns I want to be out of here. I know you need to go to the mansion," she said to Fenris, aware that most of his clothing and equipment are still there, as well as Arielle's. "Please do so now while it's still daylight and I have men outside watching your back."

Fenris nodded and began to follow Arielle out of the kitchen. Hawke stopped him by placing her hand on his arm, and waited for Arielle to leave before speaking. "How much have you told her?"

The answer was clear in the shamed expression on his face; he hadn't told her anything.

"You need to talk to her Fenris," she whispered to him. "She deserves to know."

Fenris was confused as to why Hawke would suggest such a thing, but he remained quiet since Varric was still in the room. He nodded and left as well.

Varric turned to Hawke, changing the subject since it was obvious his friend forgot he was in the room. "You really want to take Choir Boy with us?"

Hawke smiled at the dwarf. "You can't be the only sane one I take along," she replied. "That would be a terrible burden on you."

Varric laughed heartedly. "Sadly true," he stated as he walked with Hawke to the living room. "Good luck," he muttered as he left Hawke alone with Anders, who was sulking on the couch.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"You are angry," Arielle said to Fenris when they entered the mansion.

The walk there had been silent, Fenris replaying the scene with Arielle and Anders in his mind. When had they become close? When had she begun to have such a defiant attitude? Was he so lost in his own need to discover his past that he was blind to the changes around him? "Yes," he confirmed for her as he went up the stairs to his bedroom.

Arielle followed him and sat on the bed while he began to gather his things. She watched him toss belongings from one part of the room to another, making no real progress in packing. His jaw was clenched, his muscles tight, and the emotions she felt from him were stronger than she had ever felt before. "You are angry with me," she stated softly.

Fenris stopped what he was doing but refused to face her. "Yes," came the reply, though more hurt than anger was revealed in his voice. He didn't bother to turn and face her, he didn't want to. Now that he knew their history, and had remembered and felt so much of it, he was finding it difficult to be in the same room as her.

"I'm sorry," Arielle apologized, though she wasn't certain why. She couldn't remember doing anything to upset him, but she got the feeling she had disappointed him in some way.

Fenris cringed at the sincerity in her voice when she apologized. He knew she had no reason to, that his anger was his own and not really meant for her. He heard her get up and leave and his heart dropped. Hawke was right; he needed to tell her what he knew.

Arielle went to the room she had slept in and sat on the floor in the corner. She pulled her knees up close to her chest, not caring about the dust and filth that surrounded her. She struggled to shut out the emotions she felt from Fenris as they confused her. There was something different in the way he felt towards her. In the beginning it was concern; now it felt almost like fear. And for reasons she didn't understand, his fear frightened her.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"I'm in trouble Hawke," Anders said to her as she sat beside him. "I don't know what has come over me, but I fear I am losing myself with each passing day."

Hawke studied her friend intently. While they often didn't see eye to eye on many things, well, one thing mainly which was Fenris, he was her first real friend in Kirkwall besides Varric. They had grown close over the years, as long as the topic of her relationship was avoided. To hear the suffering in his voice now however nearly broke her heart. "Anders, tell me what's going on. And please do not lie to me again, I know it involves Arielle."

Anders sighed. "It all started the day we healed Fenris. When she opened herself up to me, I was overwhelmed with such powerful sensations. It lingered for days." He purposely left out the part about sleeping with Isabela, as it was something he now regretted. "The more time I spent with her, the more I hated it when I wasn't with her."

Hawke found herself surprised at the admission. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"It goes beyond emotion," he tried to explain. "She has shared with me something…an ability to join completely with another person."

"Do you mean like you and Justice," Hawke questions, not certain she understood.

"No," Anders said turning to face her. He grabbed her hand and held it, tracing her palm with his finger. "I can do this with her, and know exactly what it feels like to her. The warmth, the sensation of it, how this feels to her as well as what it feels like to me at the same time."

Hawke pulled her hand away slowly, a bit uncomfortable. "This is some sort of skill she has," she asked.

"I don't know how much of it is her or me being a mage, or the combination of the two," Anders wondered out loud. "But we've gone so far with it, now she can project thoughts to me with only her mind."

Hawke's eyes widened in realization. "In the kitchen, Arielle did that didn't she. The way she was looking at you, I could've sworn you two had an entire conversation without me."

"I haven't been able to do it in return," he answered, "but she is capable with me. With others I don't know. There's more Hawke, there's so much more."

"Perhaps you better continue," Hawke suggested.

Anders told her everything, probably more than he realized he was saying. Their connection, the way Justice hadn't surfaced since the day she was frightened of him. How Arielle could sense the demon within Merrill, and how Anders was beginning to feel almost physically ill when not in her presence. When Hawke seemed to be listening intently and without judgment, Anders told her the rest. How they had been together intimately, and the recent attack by Justice.

Hawke remained silent through Anders admission, mostly processing everything he was telling her with what little information she had on Arielle. She hadn't expected to learn that they slept together, though she had her suspicion. She was also surprised that Justice would make such a move.

She wasn't certain what to say about to Anders when he was finished. While he was entitled to live his own life, as was Arielle, the danger of the situation was apparent. His blatant attack on her would have to be addressed, as well as her concern about Justice.

"Please," Anders begged desperately, "say something."

"It's a lot to take in," Hawke replied to him. "I'm sure I don't need to point out where you were completely wrong in your actions, but know forcing yourself on her was unacceptable, no matter how it was done."

"I had to make her see, make her understand." His desperation was clear in his expression, and that caused Hawke to worry. Anders didn't seem to think what he did was wrong, but it wasn't really her place to scold him further.

"Try to hear me out Anders before being upset with me at what I'm about to say." Hawke tried to prepare him for what she knew he wasn't going to want to hear. "I have to look at both sides here. I know you, and I know your need to be loved and accepted. If Arielle can read your emotions, is it possible she knows this too, and may be using that to her advantage?"

"What advantage would that be," Anders disputed Hawke's theory. "She's a lone woman who so far has been surrounded by people that have tried to suppress who she really is. Danarius tortured her, abused her! You and Fenris haven't allowed her any freedoms. She came to me, gave herself to me, because I am the only one that doesn't treat her like property."

"You are not hearing me out Anders," Hawke said calmly. "I am only trying to figure out why you would have such strong feelings for someone you've known only a week. We know she is capable of manipulating emotions. And I'm not entirely sure she's doing it on purpose! We also have no idea what being exposed to the red lyrium does to us, and you have had more contact with it and her than any of us."

Anders shook his head and laughed, then glared at Hawke. "Is it so hard for you to believe that I could care for someone other than you?"

Hawke was taken aback by his question. "Is that what you think? That I'm jealous?"

Anders stood. "Of course you are, anyone can see you have been jealous of Arielle since she's been here. The way _he_ takes care of her, is concerned for her, and now she has my attention as well and it just kills you doesn't it?"

Hawke came to her feet as well, fighting back the overwhelming urge to slap him. "You would come to me for help, tell me all of this, and then when I offer you a possibility you don't want to hear, you purposely try to hurt me? You're right Anders, you are losing yourself. And maybe Justice knows it too and that was his reason for attacking her. Because Maker knows I wish for nothing more right now than to cut your head off and stick it on a pike!"

And with that Hawke stormed upstairs, leaving Anders speechless in the living room.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

After several minutes of getting nowhere with packing, Fenris made his way towards Arielle's room. She remained seated on the floor, so lost in thought that she didn't look up when he entered. "I am not angry at you," he admitted, catching her attention.

Arielle looked up at him, blue eyes glistening from unshed tears. "Who are you angry with," she asked in a whisper.

"Myself mainly," he answered as he sat beside her on the floor. "I have been avoiding you, unfairly, and for that I apologize."

Arielle shrugged, not seeing why he needed to apologize. She turned to look away from him, resting her head on her knees as she brought them in closer. Her thoughts still lingered towards what happened with Anders. "Why would someone who cares about you hurt you," she asked Fenris.

Fenris pondered the question for a moment, uncertain why she was asking.

When he didn't answer right away and she felt his confusion, she turned to look at him and continued her thought. "Danarius is my father, which means he should care for me, but he has hurt me. You seem to care about me, but avoid me and withhold things from me…" she trailed off, about to mention Anders, but remembered from her connection with him that Fenris disliked him very much. To tell Fenris what had happened would put Anders in danger, and as much as she felt hurt by him, she didn't wish him harm. "I don't understand."

Fenris focused on her eyes, and for a moment was caught up in his past and the memory of who she used to be. He was finding it difficult to begin telling her what he knew of their past, but it was clear she was searching for answers to something. "You asked me to tell you what I knew about the past," he began, finding it hard to continue to look at her and separate her from his memory of her. "If you still wish it, I will tell you what I know."

Arielle nodded and remained silent, watching him intently as he told the story of a time she didn't remember. He would refer to her as Vasilia when he recounted what Varania had told him, and then he also included what he had begun to remember himself.

She closed her eyes as he spoke of a couple who seemed destined to be together. From two different worlds they somehow found happiness in each other, and she had found the family she always wanted. He spoke briefly of their first kiss, of falling in love, of discovering each other intimately. Hopes and dreams of their future that was shattered by her father. Fenris told her everything that he knew, every last detail.

When Fenris explained to her that it was his fault they were torn apart, Arielle opened her eyes at took his hands. "The only one to blame in this story is Danarius," she said softly to him. "You weren't given a fair chance by falling for his daughter. Had it been anyone else, your story would have had a happy ending."

"I did not want anyone else," he reminded her. "I only wanted you."

It was the first time since telling the tale that he addressed her directly. Arielle felt the love he had for this woman, for _her,_ and for the first time she understood what she was struggling to figure out all along. She didn't hesitate to lean into him and kiss him, the tears finally falling from an emotion she didn't think she had.

And as Fenris felt the warmth of her lips pressed against his, he responded without hesitation. For a moment they were lost in each other; Leto and Vasilia had found each other again.


	32. Campfire Chatter

The walk to the Deep Roads entrance was as sullen and depressing as the Deep Roads themselves. The crunch of the carts wheels over the sandy trails with the song of the night creatures echoed around them. There had been no conversation since leaving Kirkwall; Hawke took the lead as always and everyone followed behind.

Sebastian and Varric were behind the entourage, observing and feeling the tension from their friends. Hawke was avoiding Anders. Anders was avoiding Arielle. Arielle was avoiding Fenris, and Fenris was avoiding everyone. They seemed to be using the wagon of supplies as a buffer between then; Hawke in front, Arielle and Anders on opposite sides, and Fenris in the back.

They didn't bother to cover their tracks; Hawke was making it a point to leave prominent clues as to where they were headed. She wanted to be followed, was daring Danarius' men to come after her. Another hour of travel to the same entrance Nathaniel had taken, and then they would camp for the night with the largest fire possible. Hawke was ready for a fight; in fact she welcomed it.

Bodahn was also well aware of the tension among the group. Dinner was prepared in silence as bedrolls were spread out and firewood was gathered. The only discussion was shifts of watch throughout the night, and Hawke was the first one to fall asleep. Fenris and Arielle settled down next as well as Sebastian, leaving Varric and Anders to take first watch.

Varric began writing in his book as Anders stared at Arielle's sleeping form. They sat quietly for a time until Anders caught Varric watching him. "What are you doing," Anders asked the dwarf.

"I'm writing an epic poem about a hopeless romantic apostate waging an epic struggle against forces he can't possibly defeat." He closed the book and smiled. "Care to weigh in on the ending?" Varric was dying to know what was going on with the mage and the slave. The fight about returning to the Deep Roads was certainly interesting, and it hinted to a much broader story than anyone was admitting to. Varric was a bit hurt no one had filled him in on that latest development.

"What are these forces I can not possibly defeat," Anders asked, ignoring the rest of Varric's statement. He struggled every day with so many things, what was the dwarf getting at now?

Varric shrugged. "Yourself mostly. What's going on Blondie? And don't tell me you've been taking tips on brooding from the elf now." _Tell me the good stuff Blondie, all the juicy details that would cause you to snap in the middle of Hawke's kitchen as Broody watched, ready to rip the heart out of your chest._

"There is nothing going on Varric," Anders said with a sigh. "Nothing that I understand anyway." _I have fallen in love with a former slave who has no idea how to love in return, and in the back of everyone's mind they think I am some hopelessly lost romantic. I want to be with her every second of every day. I want to show her the world and the freedom she could have, even if I myself as a mage can not._

Varric chuckled, taking out a flask and kicking back a few sips. "You obviously need to talk about it. And while we all know I don't give two figs about your personal life, I'm sensing a worthy story here that needs to be told."_ That's a lie of course, I do care, I want all the juicy details for my new tale of The Apostate and The Slave_. Varric spoke louder, taunting the information out of Anders. "I could always wake her up," he said gesturing towards Arielle, "see what she has to say."

"Don't," Anders hissed at him. "Besides, there is nothing to talk about." _Nothing at all, just a connection that can not be compared to anything you would ever understand. A joining of two souls discovering each other in the deepest way possible. Until your inner spirit decides to attack that is._

Varric rubbed his chin, studying Anders slumped over posture and intent longing stare at Arielle. "Wow, you've got it bad. And in less than a week?"

"I have tried to avoid it," Anders began, "but I can not deny what is happening. I…I can not talk about it." _Or I will run to her, beg her for forgiveness. I long to touch her, to feel that song deep within the very core of me._

"Oh Blondie cheer up, you're making me cry just looking at you." Varric took another swig and tried a different topic. "Okay, you don't want to talk about her, I get it. How about Meredith and Orsino today, hmm? I bet that's got you tickled under that feathered pauldron of yours." _But if you start talking about templars again, Bianca will come out to play._

Anders shrugged, seemingly uninterested but willing to engage in conversation. "I think Meredith is mad, and Orsino one step behind her." _I suppose I am as well. Maybe Hawke was right, maybe my own emotions are being played with, manipulated into feeling this way about someone I do not know._ He leaned back against a tree, swatting at flies that seemed to be attracted to his scent. "Though I admit I never knew the First Enchanter had it in him. Since when was he so defiant?" _But I do know her, I have been inside her mind and been closer to her than any other. Her song...still calls to me..._

Varric nodded in agreement. "Maybe he thinks Danarius is going to back whatever his plan is." _Or maybe he's just crazy. Maybe Anders is crazy. Arielle is crazy. Bianca baby, you and I are the only sane ones here._

Anders didn't like the sound of that at all. While he has struggled against the templars and Meredith's role in Kirkwall, he balanced it by helping as many mages as he could escape the Gallows. He never involved his friends; didn't want his actions coming back on them. The mages plight was his fight, not theirs, but Orsino's outburst in the square was only the beginning he feared. "What little we know about Danarius, I would rather not have his hands in Kirkwalls politics." _Or him here at all. If he returns, if he dares to try and touch her again..._

"Heh, I second that," Varric said standing up._ Time to end this before Justice comes out to play._ "I suppose we should walk the perimeter."

Anders stood as well. "Varric…" _Leave us alone, leave her alone, do not let them know how desperate I am to be with her again..._

"I know Blondie, I'll keep my mouth shut." Varric shook his head at his friend. "But if you start to go crazy Bianca won't be so nice." _And neither will Hawke, or the elf, or the templars..._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Varric had the honor of waking up both Hawke and Arielle as Anders laid down a few minutes earlier. He had wanted to avoid the shift change awkwardness between the two women that were currently upset with him, and Varric agreed that was probably a good idea.

Hawke suggested her and Arielle move further away from the others so they didn't interrupt anyone's sleep, as she had wanted to have a conversation with Arielle before heading into the Deep Roads. Arielle moved behind her as Hawke climbed a few small hills and settled on a large rock overlooking the camp. The darkness stretched for miles except for the burning campfire, and the stars seemed close enough to touch.

Arielle knew what Hawke wanted to talk about before she began, but allowed her to open up the conversation. "Anders told me what happened," she started. "I made sure we had watch together so I could see if you were alright."

Arielle sat on the edge of the rock dangling her feet over the smooth stone. Her head was full of confusion when it came to what Anders had done. She had time to think about it on their walk but still had not come to any conclusions on her own. "His spirit did more damage than he did," she finally responded, looking up into the night sky.

"Can you explain to me this connection he spoke of, the one Anders forced on you?" _His brutal description was disturbing, even if I don't understand what in the Makers name he was talking about. Then again, I rarely understand what Anders is talking about. And this conversation is a great way to distract myself from wondering what it was you and Fenris talked about. When I walked into the mansion..._

Arielle turned her head slightly to look at Hawke over her shoulder. "I can not explain it," she replied, feeling out Hawke's motivation for prying. Then she shrugged. "He meant well," she said returning to the view of glimmering lights above. "Fenris told me of our past," Arielle told her, giving her the answer to the question she really wanted to know. _Why lie? Why lure me into a false sense of friendship when all you want to know is what happened between your lover and myself?_

Hawke glanced down at the camp, keeping a watchful eye on the site while they spoke. "Was it difficult for you to hear?" _Was it difficult for him to tell you? Did he remember more while he spoke to you?_

"Would it be difficult for you to hear a story about two people you didn't know and what their life was like?" Arielle answered, detached from emotion. "I feel like everyone thought this was going to change something." _Anders worried about the closeness with Fenris. The dwarf seems suspicious. The guy in white shiny armor kept staring at me like he knew too much for someone so quiet._ She turned once more to look at Hawke. "It hasn't changed anything," she lied. _Except I could feel. I felt something when I kissed him..._

"It has changed a lot for him," Hawke advised her, "learning who he was before." _Knowing he had loved before. Gave up his family for you. His life for you. When he didn't know...we were almost at the point where it didn't matter. And now it consumes him, consumes us..._

"I know," Arielle replied quickly. And for her as well, though she wasn't prepared to admit it. She had thought, for a moment, that she had felt something for Fenris. But the separation of his emotions and hers was difficult at the time. After a month of darkness there was something there that hadn't been before. Anders had tried to show her, but feeling it from Fenris was different. _It was raw and it was real and it felt right. What does that mean? I don't understand..._

Anders didn't love her. But in that moment Fenris did. "It has not changed a thing for me," Arielle repeated softly. _I still can't comprehend the emotions I felt from Anders and now Fenris. They both look at me in the same way, but the feelings are different. How can it be different? Isn't an emotion the same no matter who feels it?_ She pushed all thoughts of Fenris aside for now and turned the conversation back to Hawke's original question. "Anders and I established a bond when I offered him my energy. A link has been created from that which I no longer have control over."

Hawke noted the sudden change in topic, but didn't push her any more about Fenris. She hadn't had a moment alone with him since picking them up from the mansion, so she wasn't certain how things went as far as he was concerned. _Though they both were obviously very uncomfortable I entered the mansion; their faces flushed, almost appeared guilty..._ "Anders has learned to use it against you," Hawke questioned.

Arielle pulled her legs up from the edge of the rock and crossed them in front of her, looking down now on Anders as he slept. "He thinks he loves me," she informed Hawke. "He thinks he can _fix_ me." He had shown her everything, though she doubted he had meant to. He wasn't as good at hiding in his mind as she was. _He has loved many in his past, his emotion the same with all of them and not like what he feels for me._ "I tried to show him he can't, but he doesn't understand." _I wish I did, I wish I wasn't this lost hopeless cause that they seem to think I am..._

Hawke felt sorry for Arielle. The last two weeks had been chaotic for all of them, and in that time Arielle had to deal with the most. Hawke allowed herself to have sympathy for Arielle, because she couldn't for Fenris. He would see it as pity, and then resent her for it. "I think we all need some time to process," Hawke suggested. "A few weeks in some filthy darkspawn infested caverns should help us all. That or we'll all kill each other."

Arielle smiled at the joke as she breathed in the night air. It was a freedom she still wasn't about to take for granted.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris and Sebastian took to the shadows of the trees, scouring the darkness for any sign of trouble. The others had reported nothing out of the ordinary, which put the final watch team on high alert. Danarius' men were out there somewhere, probably watching the camp closely, and Fenris was ready for battle.

Sebastian watched his friend avoid him, hunting for something that wasn't there. _Perhaps his last confession to me weighs more heavily on his mind now_, Sebastian thought._ It is clear that there have been further developments I am not aware of. _He offered up a prayer for his friend. _Maker, help him find rest within his soul. He has done and seen things no one should have to endure, and he was finally finding peace. I beg you have mercy upon him; do not put him through needless suffering any longer._

The hours passed quickly without incident, and the two returned to the now dying fire as the sun began to rise. Bodahn and Sandal woke first, quietly gathering what they needed from the cart to prepare breakfast. Sebastian headed back into the trees to find more wood, and Fenris found himself alone on one side of the camp with Arielle.

He watched her sleep, the slow rise and fall of her chest under the blanket she clung to. What did she dream he wondered, with no memories to fall back on? It had been so long since he received his markings, he didn't remember much from those earlier times where she was now. Were her memories of the last month with Danarius? Would she ever remember another time as he had? Would knowing her past change things for her as it was changing things for him?

His mind then wandered to the kiss they had shared and her last words to him:

_They broke away from the kiss simultaneously, though Fenris still held a hand to her face, his fingers tangled in her dark hair. He searched her eyes for what she was thinking, but didn't need to wait long as she spoke. "That was for you to say goodbye," Arielle said to him softly. "You may remember _her_, but I do not remember _him."

For a moment her words stung, as if Vasilia herself had spoken them to him. But as he turned his head towards the waking movements of Hawke, he realized he did need to find a way to say goodbye to his past. His future was right in front of him; he just needed to find his way back.

Sandal watched the occupants of the camp intently. He saw Fenris observing Hawke, then Anders glancing at Arielle. He then turned to his father. "Enchantment?"

Bodahn followed Sandal's eyes as they moved from each couple. "Indeed my dear boy. Indeed."


	33. Into the Deep

The abandoned ruins they knew to hold an entrance to the Deep Roads seemed much different than the last time they were there. The stone door they had crafted in their departure lay in rubble a few feet off to the side, and the area had been cleared of brush and overgrowth. The remains of a fire pit between the four crumbling pillars indicated that Nathaniel and company may have camped here before wandering into the tunnels.

A large plank descended into the darkness indicating the Wardens had also brought carts of supplies with them. Hawke silently thanked the Maker for that, having planned on carrying what little they could with them. Her smile shined brightly to the apprehensive travelers who followed behind her. "Oh come on, it's not that bad. Unless one of you plans on locking the rest of us in there, what could possibly go wrong?"

Varric shook his head as he prepared Bianca for battle. "Why would you jinx us at a time like this? I'm already regretting coming back here."

"Oh Varric, where is your sense of adventure," Hawke asked as she moved towards the gaping hole. "Anders, if you wouldn't mind assisting me? I would like to check it out before the rest follow."

"Of course," he replied as he grabbed two torches from Bodahn's cart of supplies. Arielle reached for his hand, an act that surprised him since they had barely spoken since Justice attacked her. She looked at him with fear and sadness in her eyes. "I will be alright," he said to her, taking a moment to caress her cheek.

Fenris watched the exchange between the two and then approached Hawke. "Are you certain it is wise to only take him with you?"

Hawke nodded and gave him a confident glance. "A few minutes Fenris, nothing more. Anders can sense the darkspawn before we encounter them, and with our friends still following us I'd feel better if you remained with the others to watch our backs."

"I prefer you remain," Fenris stated removing his sword from its usual position on his back, a motion that clearly meant he was going and she was to stay put.

Hawke eyed him suspiciously. "You aren't going to rip his heart out and pretend the darkspawn did it, are you?"

Fenris smirked at the comment but didn't dispute it as he moved towards the entrance. Anders raised an eyebrow at the change in party but remained silent as he conjured a small fireball in his hand to light the torches. Hawke, Arielle, and the rest of the party watched with bated breath as the two descended the wooden plank.

The stale, humid air was a shock to their lungs as they stepped into the cavern. The walls within the entrance were covered in moss and some unidentifiable brown substance, the same as the ground underneath the platform. Anders tried to recall if Fenris was barefoot on their last trip as well, and if so how did he keep from slipping on the faintly glowing substance.

Fenris took the lead through the dwarven made tunnel, using his eyes and ears to spot any hint of danger. Anders followed a few steps behind, ignoring the squealing sounds of bats above them. Every few steps Fenris would turn to look at Anders, confirming that there was no danger ahead. A soft orange glow began to form ahead of them, getting brighter as they journeyed deeper, until the cavern opened up into the thaig itself.

Fenris and Anders both stopped suddenly as the scent of rotting death nearly overwhelmed them. Corpses of darkspawn lay in several piles to the left and right of the massive halls, dried blood staining the orange stone beneath their feet. Some unknown source lit the stone in all directions and Fenris threw down his torch, apparently forgetting they still needed to climb back through the darkness to get the others.

Anders knelt beside a mountain of darkspawn to examine the cause of death. The Wardens were definitely here somewhere; probably intending to burn the bodies on their way out. "Be careful," he warned Fenris as the elf moved around the softer pools of blood that had not yet hardened. "Perhaps you could wear shoes when we return?"

Fenris narrowed his eyes towards Anders. "Perhaps you should keep your hands to yourself," he threatened, clearly off the topic of darkspawn.

Anders sighed as he used his staff to stand upright again. "Alright," he said turning to meet Fenris. "Let us do this now while we are alone, because I will not do it in front of them."

Fenris stood his ground, weapon still at the ready. "Tell me _mage_, exactly what is it that you think you are doing?"

Anders laughed heartedly, the sound reverberating off the stone walls. "I do not see how it is any of your business," he commented. "If I recall correctly, you are with Hawke, are you not?"

"I will not see any harm come to either of them," Fenris replied stepping closer to Anders.

Anders backed away, placing his staff in front of him as a boundary he hoped Fenris didn't cross. "Neither will I," he responded with a more serious tone. "Whatever our differences, given the past few days I would hope you realize that." For whatever reason, he also felt the need to confess to Fenris. "You should know I have come to care for her. A great deal."

Fenris backed down slightly, though he still looked at Anders suspiciously. "Just how far has this gone," he asked seeing the change in Anders as he spoke of Arielle.

Anders became defensive at the question. "I don't ask you how many times you shag Hawke," he said angrily.

"Hawke and I do not _shag_," Fenris growled, disgusted by the demeaning term of the two greatest moments in his life. And then slowly the realization came to him. He tried to control his anger as his skin began to vibrate from the impending glow of his markings. Fenris knew if he didn't walk away from the mage now, there would be one more corpse to add to the piles.

As Fenris began to pace the corridor, Anders stood now with his arms folded in front of him, waiting for the elf to get it out of his system. Anders knew the instant Fenris had made the connection, the rage and resentment that flooded his widened eyes. Whatever it was Fenris had to come to terms with, Anders hoped it would be soon before the others began to worry.

Fenris' footsteps slapped against the cold hard stone, the lyrium imbedded in his flesh radiated a soft blue light. He was angry, that was obvious, but what he couldn't determine was exactly why he was so furious. Anders was correct; he was with Hawke, and had made a promise long ago never to leave her side. Yet the thought of the mage, the _abomination_, laying a hand on Vasilia..._Arielle_...brought a new level of emotion Fenris couldn't quite comprehend. Fenris was certain it wasn't jealousy; he had no more claim on Arielle than she had on him. But then what was it?

"We need to go," Anders stated, interrupting his strides.

Fenris paused to glare at Anders again. Over the last few days the mage _had _been a help to Arielle as well as himself, and Fenris tried to concentrate on that thought alone. He couldn't forget that Anders had recently saved his life as well as Arielle's suffering from her markings. With the exception of their first meeting, Anders and Arielle did appear to have some connection of their own. Who was he to stand in their way? Especially since he was the cause of her suffering to begin with?

"If you hurt her, I will kill you," Fenris promised as he retrieved his torch and moved towards the entrance.

Anders shook his head in disbelief and exhaled a heavy breath. He was willing to accept that as permission to continue whatever it was he was doing with Arielle. He could only hope Hawke would not tell Fenris what happened with Justice, as Anders had no doubt Fenris would enjoy following through on that threat.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The two returned to the surface unscathed to the relief of the others. A few adjustments on the cart were made so items wouldn't scrape the side walls. Much to Anders surprise, Fenris did indeed put shoes on, though they were more like slippers. It was enough to keep his bare feet from touching the stone, so Anders didn't push any further.

Fenris, Sebastian, and Varric led the way, followed by Bodahn, Sandal, and their supplies. Hawke, Anders, and Arielle brought up the rear as they all maneuvered through the small space. The torch Anders held lit the cavern walls and Hawke could see faint scratch marks within the stone. What manner of beast had done it she wasn't certain, but she knew she had no desire to find out. She felt Anders and Arielle stop behind her, and turned to see what was wrong.

Arielle was standing close to one of the walls, lifting her hand towards the lines Hawke had noticed. Anders gently placed his hand on hers. "Do not touch the walls," he whispered to her, lowering her hand. "It is not safe for you."

Arielle didn't acknowledge his words but didn't fight him either. She continued to stare at the wall as if seeing something they couldn't.

Hawke approached the couple. "Arielle? What is it?"

Arielle didn't turn to look at her, but responded quietly, "they seem familiar." She tried to reach out to the slick substance again but then held back, remembering Anders warning. There was a faint memory in the back of her mind that she tried to retrieve as she closed her eyes to concentrate. Another place but similar...confining, restricting, marks on the wall surrounding her, the scent of mold and dirt...she couldn't place it and sighed in frustration.

Hawke bit her lower lip as she watched Arielle struggle. Was she remembering her time in Danarius' cellar? The way Orana had described it, these walls would certainly seem the same, right down to the jagged lines that marked the days of her existence in her prison.

Hawke glanced at Anders who was studying her now, and Hawke felt her cheeks flush under his scrutiny. He knew she knew something; the expression on his face was clear. She turned to get away from his prying eyes and muttered to them that they had to continue on.

Anders and Fenris warned the others of the sight and smell of the thaig halls before leaving the dark cave. And although they were warned, the heavy stench still surprised them all when they approached. Hawke immediately brought a hand to her nose, and Varric tried to dull his senses with a swig of alcohol. Bodahn and Sandal seemed unaffected, as well as Sebastian who only displayed a look of disgust. Arielle's hand covered her mouth in fear of expelling breakfast, and Anders kept a soft grip on her arm to keep her steady.

The trail of corpses continued through much of the thaig that they traveled. Torches were no longer necessary as the natural light of lava, lyrium veins, and fluorescent moss ran through each different section they entered. They easily followed the path they had walked before, the fear not as overwhelming as the first time they were there. Well, for most of them anyway, except for Sebastian and Arielle.

Sebastian seemed to be doing a lot of praying; his eyes were wide as he kept a watchful eye in front of him and his lips continued to move without a sound. The sound of water dripping from somewhere had him on edge as he'd turn his head to try and find it. Although his bow remained securely behind him, he kept an arrow in his hand that seemed to keep him focused. A few times he could be heard asking the Maker to protect them as they journeyed on.

Arielle kept her silence up since leaving the entrance cavern, but continued to keep a tight grip on Anders hand as they now traveled ahead of the rest. She seemed to adjust to the sight of darkspawn corpses and grew accustomed to the smell, but there was an underlying fear that continued to knot her stomach. Somewhere along the way she had opened herself up to Anders again; not completely, but enough to feel his soothing presence. Anders didn't dare pry into her feelings when he felt her reconnect, but her projection alone was enough for him to understand what she was going through. Arielle was extremely claustrophobic. He rubbed her knuckles with his intertwined fingers in a slow motion to keep her calm as they kept a steady pace for the others to follow. He would have to find a way to help her if they were to remain for several weeks.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hours later they approached a wider area of stone and masonry where the Wardens had obviously camped. Ash from their fire lay in a neat circle in the center of the room, and the ground was completely cleaned of debris. There were no corpses in the area and they had finally found the source of the dripping water that antagonized Sebastian. A small pool of fresh water gathered within an indentation of the floor, a clear sign to Hawke that this was the best place to rest for the night.

Bodahn began preparing his feast while the others setup the tents Hawke insisted on bringing along. After the lack of any privacy during their last trip, Hawke had planned well for this one. Four tents in total were all they had room for on the cart, which was plenty when shared by two people. Originally she had planned on sharing with Arielle as the only two women in the group, but Fenris and Anders seemed to have other plans as they distributed all the belongings. Fenris placed his gear with Hawke's and Anders had done the same with Arielle's. Bodahn and Sandal had their own, and Varric was stuck with Sebastian. The cart was placed in front of the small pool of water for anyone requiring privacy to clean up before dinner.

Sebastian was first to wash the grime from his skin; the sense of uncleanliness made him scowl in a way Hawke had never witnessed before. Fenris and Varric began going over maps that Anders had previously provided, and Arielle disappeared into her tent.

Anders and Hawke spent this time setting traps and glyphs around the two entrances to the area. Hawke wanted everyone to get a decent nights rest, so she planned on doing without watch this evening. Their safeguards plus Anders should be enough to warn them of any trouble, and she doubted anyone would sleep deeply anyway.

"How is she holding up," Hawke asked Anders of Arielle, noticing her quick retreat into solitude.

Anders concentrating on casting the glyph of paralysis before answering, "she's unsurprisingly claustrophobic." He took the opportunity to question Hawke as to her earlier disposition. "You know something," he accused, though not harshly.

The question caught her off guard and Hawke nearly lost her hand as the trap she was setting sprung from her accidentally setting it off. She looked at Anders and gave him a sheepish grin at her error when he reached for her hand to make sure she was okay. All fingers accounted for, he released her but kept his eyes on her waiting for an answer.

Hawke sat down and prepared more poison for the traps as she responded. "Yes, though it will do you no good to hear it. She'll know you know and it's unnecessary for the future to dwell on the past."

"Is that the advice you gave Fenris when he wished to remember his past," Anders asked kneeling down before her.

"That's not fair," Hawke said quietly, not meeting his intense focus on her. "What I know does not include a loving family, a supportive sister and mother, or any of the good that accompanies his nightmares. Leto," she purposely used his former name, "was the only bright spot in her history. Leave it alone Anders, and don't encourage her to find out."

He shook his head. "You are the one not being fair Hawke. It is not your decision to make. She has a right to know, no matter what it is." He paused for a moment before his next question. "Does he know?"

Hawke immediately responded, "no, and he never will. He has enough guilt for a lifetime without adding more. Anders please, if you insist I will tell you, but learn from my mistakes and trust this is a heartache you do not want to deal with."

Anders was indeed about to demand that she talk, but the tears in Hawke's eyes gave him pause. She rarely allowed him to see her vulnerability, and yet clearly this was a difficult subject for her to discuss. "I have struggled with him through so much," she continued softly, looking over his shoulder to see Fenris and Varric still focused intently. "When we lost Bethany within these very walls, he was there for me; he came with me to tell Mother and Uncle Gamlen. And then when Mother died," she paused, refusing to allow her emotions to consume her, "he was the one that spent every night with me until I could breath again. We may have a very trying and difficult relationship, but his support and friendship has never wavered. I am trying to now be there for him; be as understanding and supportive as I can be."

"Hawke..."

"There's more to my apprehension than Fenris' guilt," she continued, ignoring the whisper of her name or his hand now resting gently on her knee. "Arielle has just emerged into this world of freedom, of feelings and emotions other than the hate she's known from Danarius. She told me last night learning of her history from him hasn't changed anything. She knows of the only good in her past. Will knowing the worst of it really help her move on? Or help you two in any way?"

Anders thought on her words, and they did hold some truth. "Is it that bad," he dared to ask, imagining the worst.

Hawke didn't respond, but she placed her hand on his. "Embrace the time you have together Anders and enjoy it," she told him as she looked at their surroundings. "Any day could be our last, and I for one am tired of spending my time fighting. Just be careful," she warned, their previous fight still in the back of her mind.

Anders nodded, accepting her warning and her wish to keep Arielle's past to herself. "I am sorry Hawke," he whispered, now regretting every word he had said to her the other night.

"Tired of fighting," she reminded him, gently squeezing his hand before standing and brushing herself off. "I won't tell him about you two," Hawke continued, looking towards Fenris, "if that's what you're worried about."

Anders stood with her and grinned. "He may not like it, but he is already aware," he said, informing her of his previous discussion with Fenris. "Though I would prefer the details of our talks remain strictly between us; my insides have already been threatened."

Hawke had to laugh at the visual in her head. "I'm sure it has. Now that our uneasy tension is dissolving, let's finish this up and then eat. I am starved!"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders managed to coax Arielle out of the tent and join the others to eat. They sat around the fire indulging in the stew Bodahn had made and listening to Bodahn tell stories about his time with the Hero of Ferelden. Varric was happy to let someone else tell the tales as he enjoyed his food and drink, and even Arielle seemed glued to Bodahn's words of travel and adventure. Fenris noticed Hawke fighting the urge to yawn several times, and finally suggested to the group they begin to settle in for the night.

Hawke remained to help Bodahn clean up after dinner as Fenris prepared their bedrolls inside the tent. When Hawke entered and saw everything was ready for her to collapse and fall asleep, she grinned sweetly at Fenris. "Thank you for this," she said to him as she began to remove her armor.

"It was no trouble," he said to her as he helped her, undoing several buckles and disarming her of all hidden weapons. He then removed his own and placed both sets of armor outside the tent, as there was little room to move as it was. Fenris lay down first, finding a position he could tolerate on the hard ground and then Hawke did the same, shifting on to her side to face him. "What is on your mind Hawke?"

She smiled at him, enjoying the way he seemed to know her so well. "Who says there's something on my mind," she questioned his assumption.

Fenris turned on his side, his elbow to the ground and hand supporting his head. "Your eyes do not lie," he stated, waiting for her to say whatever it is she wanted to say.

She sighed softly and rolled on to her back, staring at the canvas that covered them. "I wonder when things will return to normal," she admitted, letting her guard down now that it was just the two of them. "That normal life we joked about not so long ago? I want it, now more than ever."

"Hmm," came the low growled response from beside her. "I too wonder," he stated.

She turned her head to look at him watching her. "What is it that you wonder?"

His serious expression didn't falter when he answered. "I wonder why you are so far from me at this moment."

Hawke's eyes widened but she moved quickly, shimmying her way towards him while still buried in her bedroll. His strong arm draped over her and pulled her in close as he tangled his fingers in her still wet hair with his other hand. "Better?" she asked as she pressed up against him, curling her arms into her chest and inhaling the scent of him.

"Yes," came his response, wrapping her in his arms and resting his chin on her head. The warmth of their bodies together was enough to keep the cold stone from freezing them. "I know what is really on your mind Hawke," he whispered above her.

Her breath caught in her throat and she shifted slightly to curl into him even more. She fought the tears that stung her eyes as his hand moved slowly up and down her back. Of course he knew. She tried to avoid thinking about it all day, but her discussion with Anders brought it back to the surface. "I miss her," she choked into his chest, emotion spilling out of her uncontrollably in the safety of his arms.

Fenris held her tighter as her sobs shook her body beneath him. The memory of Bethany's death was on his mind as well, and soon they would come to where they had left her body. At the time there was no way to carry her out of the Deep Roads, a decision he knew haunted Hawke often. She insisted Anders burn her sisters corpse, not wanting the darkspawn to desecrate her any more than they already had. While Fenris was thankful there would be no decaying body to stumble upon, he had no doubt the scorched stone remained.

After a time Hawke calmed a bit and then seemed to have fallen asleep against him. Fenris shifted his arm so it was no longer trapped beneath her and she thankfully didn't wake. He continued to stroke her back until he too began to drift off, the steady pace of her breathing next to him lulling him to sleep as well.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

For several days they repeated their pattern of breaking down camp, traveling, and then resurrecting camp and traps for the evening. They had met no resistance thus far, making good time towards the abandoned thaig that held the red lyrium. Only a few more days by Varric's estimate.

Along the route they continued to come upon signs that they were still on the Wardens trail. The amount of corpses they came across dwindled, until they went an entire day without seeing any. Had the Wardens managed to kill them all? Or were their numbers simply dropping the further in they went? Anders could offer no explanation for the lack of darkspawn, but advised Hawke against questioning it and instead she should thank the Maker. Sebastian agreed.

There was also no sign of Danarius' men that were following them. They had agreed it was more important to try and find Nathaniel instead of waiting to ambush the hunters, but the calm was unnerving everyone at this point, so they began to consider a new course of action.

Until they heard the screeching sounds of combat not far in the distance.

Bodahn and Sandal were instructed to follow, leaving the supplies behind for now. Hawke didn't want to split the group up given the danger ahead, and so they ran together until they found the source of the noise. Rounding the corner they spotted several darkspawn surrounding a man attacking relentlessly with his bow. Arielle remained a short distance behind with Bodahn and Sandal as the others immediately jumped into the fray. Their combined efforts made short work of the vile creatures; Fenris leaping in to taunt the group and Hawke creeping up from behind as the others rained down arrows, fire, and ice at the enemy. Systematically Fenris and Hawke picked a target, finishing off what remained after the aerial assaults, until the ground was littered with corpses.

"Nathaniel?" Hawke asked, approaching the man they had just assisted.

"You," he said placing his bow securely behind his back. "You're the Champion of Kirkwal, aren't you?" He walked to meet the group as they gathered together, Arielle and the dwarves behind them. "And...Anders?"

Anders smiled as his old companion. "Making friends as always, I see."

Nathaniel shrugged with a laugh, "there's no escaping you it seems."

Hawke interrupted the reunion, needing some answers. "Your sister said you followed my expedition's route. Care to tell me why?"

Nathaniel hesitated before answering. "You went further into the Deep Roads than anyone believed possible," he said, eyes widening a bit as he noticed Fenris for the first time. "The First Warden himself ordered this investigation. I was offered a generous share of the salvage, plus extra coin up front to discourage any...curiosity."

Hawke wasn't sure she liked what she was hearing. Danarius' interest in the thaig was enough to handle, but now the Wardens too? "I don't remember drawing anyone a map to the thaig...who told you about it?"

Nathaniel shifted uncomfortably. "I'm afraid I can't tell you that Champion," he admitted looking at Anders. "I don't wish to seem ungrateful for your help just now, but there are certain things I can not discuss with anyone outside the Wardens."

Hawke pressed her lips together in frustration, but didn't push the issue. "You can't be down here alone. Aren't there other Wardens with you?"

"I was separated from them when we were attacked, though I am certain they yet live," Nathaniel explained. "Some Wardens survived the initial ambush, as well as a dwarf we brought from Vigil's Keep. If you and your companions wouldn't mind accompanying me, I wish to go further into the tunnels to meet up with them, though I am not foolish enough to do it alone."

"Of course we will," Anders answered for Hawke without hesitation.

Hawke nodded in agreement. "If you don't think they are in any danger, I would like to go back and retrieve our supplies first. In all honesty there is a possibility we were followed down here, and the support of both our teams would be welcomed."

Nathaniel nodded. "I would be happy to assist as payment for your help here, as will the others. And if you don't mind, I would like a private word with Anders before we continue."

Hawke rolled her eyes. "Oh go off and have your secret Warden meeting," she teased. "I saw all of the not so subtle looks between the two of you. Enjoy your reunion, we'll return shortly."

"Thank you Hawke," Anders said as she and the others retreated back down the hall and around the corner. Nathaniel moved to the far end of the hall to keep an eye on the departing group. Once they disappeared from sight, he turned to his old friend. "Anders, why have you and the Champion returned here?"

Anders leaned against the wall, narrowing his eyes in response to the question. "In part to find you. Delilah asked Hawke to find you when you did not return; claimed you were missing."

"Clearly she was mistaken," Nathaniel stated rubbing his brows. "That girl worries too much. And the other reason?"

"For reasons I do not care to get into, there is a group of Tevinter hunters tracking us. We thought to bring them here, steer them away from Kirkwall, and ambush them on neutral ground."

Nathaniel nodded. "I thought as much. The elf you travel with, the markings on his skin, they are lyrium, are they not?"

Anders wasn't sure he liked this line of questioning, but began to understand what his fellow Warden was getting at. "You are here because of the lyrium," he realized out loud.

"Yes," Nathaniel answered honestly, "more specifically, we are after the red lyrium. There's more to it, much more, but I'm afraid we don't have the time to get into the details." He glanced down the hall before continuing. "There is another group of Wardens coming from the north, led by the new Warden Commander. Since the Champions expedition was the first to encounter the red lyrium, the Warden Commander himself is headed to Kirkwall to investigate personally."

Anders tried to keep his fear in check as he continued prodding. "What is so special about the red lyrium to have so many Wardens focused on it?"

Nathaniel was very blunt in his response. "You, for example," he stated. "You are the first Warden to come in contact with it that we know of. Do you have another explanation why I can no longer sense the taint within you?"

Anders was thankful he was leaning against the wall, because he was certain he would have fallen over without the support. He hadn't even noticed until now that he did not _feel_ Nathaniel's presence, though he was standing right in front of him. He also realized he hadn't sensed the darkspawn when they came rushing towards the fight. Anders thought back to the last time he had been in contact with a Warden or darkspawn. He had run into Stroud twice since living in Kirkwall; the last time they were in the Deep Roads, and then again during the Qunari attack. He had also battled darkspawn with Hawke on the coast. All three times he had sensed them, so that ruled out the joining with Justice as being a factor, as well as the initial contact with the red lyrium.

The only other possibility was Arielle.

"It can not be the lyrium," Anders stated, trying to protect her. "I have sensed other Wardens and darkspawn since our last trip here. Maybe it is all the smog in Kirkwall?"

Nathaniel clearly had his doubts. "We are already certain it is the red lyrium," he told Anders. "Experiments have already begun and been somewhat successful with the help of Avernus and the Architect."

"Have you all gone mad?" Anders could not believe what he was hearing. "I knew it was a mistake letting him live, I tried to tell her...this is too much, I can't..."

"Anders," Nathaniel placed a hand on his friends shoulder to steady him. "You must be prepared. They will want answers. We _all_ want answers. If you have found a way to eliminate the taint within us, do you know what that means?"

"Yes," Anders replied softly. It meant their lives, their futures restored to them. It meant no more Wardens needed to succumb to the taint in their later years and go through the Calling. It also meant the possibility of family, of children for many who have gone without for a greater purpose.

But at what cost?

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**_Words can not express how touched and loved I felt when my wish was granted by these two amazingly talented artists. I asked for Fenris with shoes...and my wish was granted!_**

**_First: EkoCentric created a cartoon version of Fenris with the perfect pair of shoes! His expression is priceless, and the shoes are so fitting I never would've thought of it on my own! I gushed over this for days let me tell you, and as I look at it now I'm still smiling! _**

**_Second: AndAgain created two for me! I don't know which one I like better because they are both so different! There's one with Anders and Fenris that I am leaning towards more because it's directly from the story; the two of them walking through the cave. The other one is just Fenris, but in such a triumphant pose that it is epic in its own way! _**

**_Links to both can be found on my profile page, as well as links to their pages here. Please take a moment to show them some love!_**


	34. Escape from the Deep

Nathaniel studied Anders quiet contemplation, searching for a sign that his former brother realized the severity of the situation. There was much Anders wasn't aware of, too much, and Nathaniel considered just how much he should tell the mage. Anders had always been one to do his own thing; escaping the Circle, joining with Justice, leaving Amaranthine, all decisions he never considered consequences to. To trust him with Warden secrets...

Yes he is still a Warden. Will always be. But his loyalty has always wavered with them. Nathaniel was aware Anders conscription was simply a way to save him, the kind heart of the Ferelden hero the only reason he stood before him today. But he had no regard to her or his fellow Wardens when he fled Amaranthine after merging with Justice, a secret that remained within the walls of Vigil's Keep. In Nathaniel's eyes, Anders owed him, owed the Wardens, the knowledge that he possessed. But would he help them?

Anders struggled with his own similar thoughts over Nathaniel. One of a handful of people that knew about Justice. He had kept that from the Wardens as far as Anders knew, but could he trust this man with Arielle's life? If the Wardens were after the lyrium, and all knowledge surrounding it, Arielle would certainly be in danger. And now they were underground with an entire troop of them, and more on the way. Anders had little news of the Wardens; had no idea there even was a new Warden Commander. But he was certain whoever it was wouldn't be as understanding as the one he served under.

At present there was little time for discussion, but Anders decided he had to try. As long as they were trapped together, it was worth the risk. If his plan backfired, he'd take Arielle and run. "I know I have no right to request your silence," he said to Nathaniel, "but I may have an explanation for you. I risk a great deal in telling you."

Nathaniel ran both his hands over his face. "Anders, you ask too much of me. If you have knowledge of how to destroy the taint, that is something I must share with the others."

"It is not the solution you think," Anders insisted. "I am not even certain it is a solution, or what has happened to me. I can not explain it though if you do not swear to keep it between us. I only wish to tell you to prevent further prodding from the Wardens."

"Anders..." Nathaniel sighed. "You assume I have more power than I do within their ranks."

"No," Anders insisted. "I assume you are a friend willing to keep one more secret for me. Had we not come to find you, no one would ever know of this to begin with. I am not even certain it is permanent. I wasn't even aware of this five minutes ago! Please, hear me out, I beg you."

Nathaniel shook his head but conceded. "Fine. But ask no more of me my friend. These burdens should not be mine to hold."

Anders nodded and began to explain his story in the most simplest way he could. "The elf you saw, Fenris, he is not the only one I travel with that has been branded with lyrium. There is another that has similar markings, only they are of the red lyrium you seek."

Nathaniel's eyes widened. "I suppose both have certain strengths and powers?"

Anders raised an eyebrow, "yes...but how did you..."

"Go on," Nathaniel insisted.

Anders continued, withholding further questions until he was finished explaining. "If what you say is true and the Wardens have already begun experimenting with the red lyrium with favorable results, then it is possible this person is responsible for you being unable to sense the taint within me. We have...merged, for lack of a better word. Not like Justice, but on some other level I can not understand or begin to explain. She is the reason the hunters are after us; the one who branded her is trying to reclaim her and the elf."

Nathaniel processed what Anders had told him. "Tevinter hunters you said, am I correct?"

"Yes," Anders confirmed. "A magister from Minrathous, Danarius, infused both of them..."

Nathaniel gasped. "Danarius?" Clearly this wasn't the first time he had heard the name.

Anders crossed his arms. "You know Danarius?"

Nathaniel turned away from Anders and began pacing the stone floor. "Danarius...Anders...stop. Don't tell me anymore. I can not know this..."

Anders approached Nathaniel and grabbed his arm, turning his old friend to face him. "What do you know?"

Nathaniel narrowed his eyes and pulled away. He continued his strides and rubbed his temples, a foolish attempt to forget what he had just been told. Anders was saying something but Nathaniel was no longer paying attention. _Danarius...oh Anders, what have you stepped into..._

Anders was begging his friend to explain himself, but suddenly a strong wave of panic and fear overwhelmed him. He dropped to his knees, alarming Nathaniel who now ran to him. Anders felt his throat closing up when Arielle's voice shouted clearly in his head. _Anders!_

Anders held on to Nathaniel and got to his feet. "They're in trouble!" he shouted as he broke free from Nathaniel's supportive grasp and ran down the corridor. As he rounded the corner he and Nathaniel began to hear the sounds of combat, his friends in heavy battle with the Tevinter hunters. Nathaniel immediately drew his bow to assist as Anders moved in front of Arielle, pulling her behind him and blasting the hunters that approached her.

Bodahn and Sandal were hiding behind the cart out of the fray as the others attempted to push the hunters away from them. Fenris was engaged with two, Hawke had two, and the now three ranged attackers rained down their arrows on the six that approached from the rear. Anders assisted in ranged attacks and attempted to slow the ones on Hawke and Fenris. Everyone seemed to be holding their own until an arrow came out of nowhere and landed straight in the middle of Anders' chest.

His scream and pain ripped through Arielle as if she had been hit herself. As Anders fell in front of her, the blood beginning to seep through his robes, rage and anger fueled her. Her markings came to life as she stepped in between Hawke and Fenris. She ignored Fenris shouting her name and shrugged of Hawke's grasp as she channeled her power, allowing it to build in strength. Hawke tried to reach for her again, but the attackers on her pushed her out of the way, blocking further contact. She called to Fenris but he was in the same situation, both of them now completely separated from Arielle as the hunters closed in around her.

Arielle's eyes changed colors to match her brightly glowing skin as she glared at the hunters that moved towards her now from the rear. She smiled as they moved in closer. They wouldn't harm her; she could sense it easily with her markings at full strength. They needed to capture her alive...and that would be their downfall. Within seconds they were on her, attempting to hold her, while she continued to smile mischievously at them. Once they held her by each arm and considered themselves victorious, she released her fury.

The hands that held her now pulled away from her, their flesh blistering and burning from their grasp on her. As they screamed in pain while clutching their wrists at their now useless hands, another wave of energy knocked them clear across the cavern. She reached her arms out to the attackers on Fenris and Hawke, her physical contact with them scorching their skin under their armor. The distraction of pain was enough for Hawke and Fenris to gain the advantage, and they took down the hunters with ease. Nathaniel and Varric made sure the ones that were now slumped against the wall never stood again, and Sebastian knelt down to Anders to assess his wounds.

Arielle stood among the carnage, eyes still blazing red and fury on her lips. Fenris approached her cautiously, calling her name to try and calm her. She turned to look at him, her chest rising and falling to match her rapid breathing, and for a moment Fenris was truly afraid. "Arielle," he called to her again softly as he reached out to her.

Realization that he would be hurt washed over her as she pulled away. "Don't touch me," her voice called angrily, though she hadn't meant for it to.

Fenris withdrew his hand but stood his ground, staring into her eyes, hoping his focus on her would snap her out of her anger. "It is over," he said to her. He had been there before, where she was now, so full of anger and hate that the markings took over. The loss of control once you felt the full strength of them. It had taken him a few times of going through it before he learned to come down from it with ease. If she didn't relax soon, it was possible she would continue with her destruction, and they were all in danger.

Arielle locked eyes with Fenris, knowing he was attempting to calm her wrath. She struggled internally, looking at him but wanting to give in to anger she was feeling. It wasn't enough what she had done. She wanted to do more. The eight of them weren't nearly enough to quench this thirst of hatred within her. But the green eyes peering into hers was starting to subdue her. The fire within her refused to go out however, until she heard her name whispered behind her.

Anders. She wanted to run to him but knew she'd hurt him if she did so in this state. She closed her eyes and fought the flames of hate around her heart. He needed her, she had to go to him, he was hurt because he protected her, and now she had to make sure he was okay. She held on to those thoughts as her markings dimmed, until there was nothing left but concern.

She stumbled a bit from the expelled energy when she tried to move, and Fenris immediately went to her to support her. He helped her walk to Anders who no longer had an arrow implanted in his chest, but was gathering his own strength to heal himself. Sebastian and Hawke were beside him doing what they could for him, and Arielle knelt down and took his hand. He turned to look at her and smiled weakly.

Nathaniel stood in the distance watching the two. Having witnessed Arielle and Fenris during the fight, and the nature of Anders' relationship to the woman, he knew he had to keep their secret. Unfortunately, he didn't know how he was going to protect them.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The battle worn crew moved slowly through the underground roads. The threat seemed larger than it actually was, and Hawke was a bit annoyed the hunters were dispatched so quickly. Besides finding Nathaniel, coming back here was only to protect Arielle...and yet she didn't seem to need any protecting at all. Hawke's mood was clear to those around her, and everyone gave her a wide berth as they traveled.

Anders moved beside Arielle in silence. He was able to heal his wounds shortly after he fell, but the sight of the blood still on his robes was making Arielle uneasy. She held on to his hand as they walked but hadn't said a word since the attack. Anders didn't try to pry into what she was feeling, not with the current audience of Nathaniel still in tow. He wanted to get back to his discussion with Nathaniel, but the Warden was keeping his distance as well, conversing with Bodahn about something to do with dwarven explosives.

They were walking straight towards the other Wardens, and Anders fear grew with each step. When Nathaniel warned them they were close, sensing his group, Anders looked back towards his friend for any sign of an answer. Would he keep their secret?

Though it wasn't audible, Nathaniel gave a slight nod, and Anders took in a sigh of relief. For now, they were safe. He stopped to drop his gaze towards Arielle, making sure her markings were well hidden under her clothes. There was nothing he could do about Fenris' however; he only hoped Nathaniel would keep the Wardens disinterested.

Nathaniel approached the camp first, revealing himself to his comrades and then briefly explained the situation to them. Hawke went with him, confirming that she had only come to the Deep Roads in search of Nathaniel, but was now willing to assist them with whatever information they needed from the thaig with the red lyrium. They would rest for the night and then venture to the thaig in the morning.

Hawke and Fenris excused themselves from dinner; Varric and Anders gave a knowing glance as they took off down one of the corridors that branched off from their current location. "Is it wise for them to be going off alone," Sebastian had questioned.

Anders allowed Varric to answer, not wanting to be the one to bring it up. "Hawke's sister didn't make it out of here last time," Varric informed Sebastian. "I think they're going to say goodbye."

Arielle looked at Anders. "You couldn't save her?"

Varric shook his head as Anders face clearly displayed years old guilt. "I tried," Anders began to explain, "but it was out of my hands."

Arielle thought on his answer but didn't push it, feeling his sadness. They ate in silence before setting up their tents, the Kirkwall companions staying separately from the Wardens. As much of a comfort it was to be surrounded by trained darkspawn killers, they were also concerned about why the group was down there in the first place.

When the others retired for the evening, Anders took Arielle's hand and led her away from the group, but remained within eyesight. "I wanted to talk to you," he began, sitting on a large piece of stone in the middle of some rubble. He helped her cross the debris and sit beside him. "I need to ask you something," he continued, "and I need you to be as honest as you can be."

Arielle stared at him, a bit surprised at his statement. "I wouldn't lie to you," she responded.

"I know," he sighed, "of course not." He gathered his thoughts before speaking. "You are aware that Justice is a part of me, inside me, and that I have little control over him, yes?"

Arielle nodded but remained silent, awaiting his point.

"You are also aware that I was a Warden once, and I told you I had left them when I came to Kirkwall."

"Yes," Arielle replied, remembering the conversation.

"The truth is, you can never really leave the Wardens," Anders explained. "I may not be fighting at their side or continuing their cause, but there is a physical change that takes place in order to become one. Much like with Justice, it's something I can not control; it's a part of me. It's how the Wardens are able to find the darkspawn...we can sense them."

"That's why Hawke said you should go into the cave first," Arielle pieced together, "because you would know if they were around?"

Anders smiled, "yes, that's the way it should work. Just like we can sense darkspawn, we can sense other Wardens. It was a ritual we went though, called the Joining, where we ingested some of the darkspawn blood."

Arielle gasped in surprise and whispered, "blood magic?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "To be honest I cared little at the time. It was a way to save me from the templars returning me to the Circle, so I did it without question. It is forbidden for me to tell you about the Joining, but I need for you to understand."

"Why," she asked, still uncertain what he was trying to tell her.

"The taint," he continued, "is what we call it, the blood that runs in their veins and ours. The thing that allows us to be aware of each other. The reason I tell you this, is because something has happened to change that within me. I can no longer sense the darkspawn or the Wardens, though I am currently surrounded by them. And I believe that has something to do with you."

Arielle looked away from him, contemplating all that he had told her. He was looking to her for answers but she didn't have any, and she feared disappointing him as he clearly looked to her for help. The truth was she knew very little about her markings or her abilities. Danarius never sat down and explained anything to her. He was in the process of teaching her certain skills but would never bother to fill her in on why any of it worked, or how. She shook her head as she looked at him again, eyes full of sorrow at not being able to help him. "I'm sorry Anders, I don't know," she responded quietly, full of regret.

Anders leaned his head back against the stone wall behind him. He put his arm around her and pulled her into his chest. "It's alright," he said to her, even though he knew she didn't believe him. "I knew it was a long shot, but I had to ask."

"This is important to know," Arielle questioned him, bringing her legs up and draping them over his as she curled into him.

"It is," he said as he wove her hair through his fingers. "I will ask Fenris when he returns, though I doubt he knows any more than you do."

Arielle began to piece together his unspoken words. "Your Wardens will want to know why," she stated, prying gently into his thoughts for confirmation. "I'm in danger here."

"We all are," he answered her truthfully. "The Wardens are here for the red lyrium and seem to already be aware of some of its power. If they become aware of you...there's no telling what they will do."

She remained silent, slipping her hand into his robe and gently rubbed his chest. His fear wasn't hidden at all, she could feel it as easily as she felt her own. There was more he didn't know, that other Warden hadn't told him everything, and he was hoping for a chance to be alone with him again. Anders didn't seem to mind Arielle using their connection to help her learn the rest; he hid nothing from her.

Except the part about Danarius.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris kept a close watch over Hawke as she knelt down on the hard stone, her fingers running through the ash that remained of her sister. In the years that has passed it seemed nothing had disturbed the area; it was exactly as they had left it. Fenris shifted under the heaviness in the air, the memory of Bethany's death replaying in both their minds.

_"Could we...slow down," Bethany had asked, looking paler than usual. "I'm not feeling very well."_

_"I think all our stomachs are a bit tender right now," Hawke had replied, their rations being controlled tightly with not knowing how much longer they'd be in the Deep Roads._

_Varric had commented about her illness being caused by the mushrooms they had found that morning, but Hawke didn't hear him. Her sister fell behind her, and Hawke ran to her side._

_"It's the blight, isn't it?" Bethany looked up at her sister, fear clouding her dark eyes. "I'll end up just like Wesley, won't I?"_

_"No," Hawke said defiantly. "I'm not going to let that happen." How does one fight darkspawn taint? They were in the middle of nowhere, no help for days out. "Anders, can you do something?"_

_"It's the blight," he confirmed. "I can sense it. No healing magic can cure the taint."_

_"I'm not going to last until the surface," Bethany told her sister. "It's coming on faster."_

_Hawke looked to Anders again, her eyes filled with tears. "Please Anders, anything to help her, I beg you."_

_Anders swallowed hard. "There might be something we can do."_

_Anders had informed them that Grey Wardens may be in the Deep Roads as well. Why he hadn't revealed that information to them when they were trapped Hawke wasn't certain, but there was little time to get into it. "Let's go Bethany," Hawke said as she helped her sister up, Fenris assisting her. "You are not dying today. Not if I can help it."_

_Their pace was slow at first, Bethany's weakness causing her to stumble between Hawke and Fenris. When she had no more strength to continue, Fenris picked her up and carried her in his arms. Hawke hid her tears, the severity of the situation weighing heavily on her heart. She believed there was some hope in that moment though; if Fenris can put aside his hatred for mages to carry Bethany, maybe there's a chance someone is watching over them._

_"I'm sorry. I know this comes as no comfort to you, but we do not recruit Grey Wardens out of pity," the Warden, Stroud, had said when they found him hours later. "It is no kindness."_

_"You think it's kinder to let Bethany die from the blight," Hawke argued, infuriated with the man._

_"Sometimes it is, yes." Cold. Heartless. _

_Anders begged his former brother. "Stroud, trust me when I say this one is worth your time. With the blight over, you Wardens don't have recruits lining up."_

_"This is no simple thing Anders," Stroud replied, crossing his arms. "This would be as much a death sentence as the sickness, and you know it."_

_"She'll die anyway, take her and try!" Anders was clearly frustrating, wishing for the first time he knew how to prepare the Joining himself. Damned Wardens and their rules. "Duncan did it for the Hero of Ferelden to cure her. I'm asking you to do the same..."_

_"Being a Grey Warden is not a cure, and do not compare this woman to the Hero. Being a Warden is a calling. We do not accept charity cases. Now if you'll excuse us, we have pressing matters to attend to."_

_And that was it. Hawke broke down as she watched the Wardens walk away from her, from them, leaving Bethany to her fate. "You'll take care of it, won't you sister?"_

_Hawke closed her eyes, wishing it all away. It had to be a bad dream. She would wake up and her sister would be fine. They would be out of the Deep Roads, comfortably asleep in their beds in Lothering..._

_"It's just you now," Bethany said, bringing her pale shaky hand to Hawke's face. "Take care of Mother..."_

Hawke opened her eyes. It wasn't a dream. The sad reality was clear in the ashes in front of her. Bethany was gone. Hawke's promise to take care of Mother broken. She covered her face and let the tears fall into the remains of her sister. Fenris knelt beside her and offered her what comfort he could, as he did the day Bethany died.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Morning came quickly for them as Hawke and her companions packed up for the final trek of their trip. Nathaniel and his Wardens had shared with Hawke their more recently updated maps, which included another way out of the Deep Roads from the thaig that held the primeval lyrium. The news of this new exit didn't sit well with Hawke. Had it been there when they were with Bethany...

She pushed those thoughts out of her mind. It would do her no good to revisit them again. Instead Hawke tried to focus on the positive; the hunters were dead, and this time tomorrow they would be laying under the sweet sky, breathing in the clean air away from this rotting stench. She had little fear of their safety; their numbers now tripled with the Wardens. Whatever they were to face on their way out of the Deep, it would be worth it to have the sun on her face again.

They moved through the darkened halls with ease, orange stone giving way to blue and then black. The Wardens lit several torches to guide their way, and Nathaniel held back to walk with Hawke and her companions. "We are approaching the thaig now," he told them.

"Is it just me," Varric asked, "or is it a lot darker than it was last time we were here?"

"It's not just you," Hawke replied, moving cautiously.

Arielle tripped behind them, Anders grabbing hold of her at the last minute before she fell. "Are you alright?"

Arielle nodded. "Got a little dizzy for a minute," she said. "The air is different here."

Anders wrapped his arm around her to steady her. "Stay close to me, we'll be through here in no time."

Hawke turned her gaze towards the two, as did Nathaniel. Hawke had agreed to back away if Arielle had any problems being near the lyrium, and she searched the former slave now for any sign of discomfort. "I'm fine," Arielle assured them.

Into the dark they continued, until they entered a large room. The torches cast several shadows on the walls, reflecting off four large pillars in the center of the room. The dirt under their feet had several lines going in different directions, the evidence of carts that had been there before them. Several Wardens moved to the center of the room, opening up maps and holding the torches close to them to find their current position.

"Hawke," Varric whispered her name behind her, the sound of disbelief in his tone.

"I see it Varric," Hawke said quietly, and Fenris and Anders spread out in different directions surveying the room.

"What is it," Nathaniel asked, clearly confused as to their behavior.

"It's the thaig," Varric responded. "Only it's..."

"Empty," Hawke concluded for him. Once brightly lit in various shades of red, the room now was barren, empty, no sign that the red lyrium existed. The veins gone, all crystals missing, chipped away from the stone that surrounded them.

Nathaniel conferred with the Wardens who confirmed they were exactly where they should be. "So it is true," Nathaniel said rubbing his forehead. "We must leave and meet up with the others; they will want to hear of this."

Hawke cut through the Wardens and approached Nathaniel. "You mean you knew about this? What has happened here Nathaniel?"

"I'm afraid I can not get into it with you Champion," Nathaniel responded. "We must head to the surface immediately."

Hawke stormed off towards Anders, prepared to demand that he find out what was going on, when the ground began to shake under their feet. At first they feared some sort of cave in, until the ground split open in several sections and creatures began to come from below.

"Profanes!" Hawke yelled as the others readied their weapons. The Wardens followed suit as dozens of the creatures formed before them. At first they attacked the group wildly, the rock creatures seemed out of control and disorganized. But seconds later they all turned in unison towards Arielle, and began to descend upon her.

Arielle attempted to control them but she was resisted. She backed up towards the wall as they approached her, her strength quickly weakening. Anders came out of nowhere, blasting the profanes and erecting a shield over him, grabbing Arielle to pull her into the shield as well. "Can't you do something," he asked her, focusing his energy on the shield as the profanes began to attack.

Arielle looked at them with sadness in her eyes. "They are starving," she said to him.

An explanation for their attack on her then. Hawke and the others along with the Wardens began cutting through the rock-wraith creatures who seemed to have no care for their own well-being. They didn't defend themselves against the assault behind them; they were only focused on Arielle, needing to feed their hunger. Several minutes had passed as the foray continued. Anders felt his strength dissolving, calling to the others to act quickly. Several arrows bounced off the shield as Varric, Sebastian, and Nathaniel attacked the profanes from the rear. The Wardens, Hawke, and Fenris cut through the crowd relentlessly, though more seemed to form as soon as a handful dropped.

Sweat formed on Anders forehead as he focused on keeping the shield solid, the only thing protecting him and Arielle. "Anders, use what strength I have left," she offered him.

"No," he commanded looking back at her. He knew what it would do to her, the pain he would cause her, and he would not put her through that again if he could help it. "It may strengthen them as well," he assumed out loud. He redirected his attention towards the shield, both hands focused on flowing the energy to it. "In my pocket," he gasped, "lyrium."

Arielle reached into his robes and pulled out the vial. She opened it and fed it to him as he continued to stare straight ahead at the battle in front of him. He could see the Wardens successfully cutting their way through to them on the left as Hawke and Fenris did the same to their right. Some of the Wardens couldn't help but notice Fenris glowing brightly as his greatsword cut down three profanes at once, moving on to the next.

By the time the battle had concluded, Anders had gone through three lyrium potions and the ground was littered with the remains of at least forty profane. Now nothing but rock, they formed a horseshoe wall knee high around where Anders and Arielle had positioned themselves. Hawke and Fenris assisted Anders and Arielle in climbing over the pile of stone as the others joined them.

"You fought well Champion, as did your companions," Nathaniel praised them when the dust had settled.

"We thank you and the Wardens for your assistance," Hawke stated honestly. "Now if you wouldn't mind showing us the way out of here, I think we all wish for nothing more."

"Of course. I recommend a quick meal to regain our strength and then we will head to the surface."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Sebastian and Varric went back for Bodahn and Sandal and their supplies, and returned moments later; Bodahn quickly preparing lunch for the tired fighters. In silence they devoured their food, everyone's thoughts on the darkened room that surrounded them. Hawke still wanted answers but didn't dare approach the Wardens right now. She had her suspicions as to what they were discussing, often glancing over in the Champions direction.

Fenris kept an eye on Arielle, trying to figure out if she was alright. She was obviously weaker since the attack; he had to assist her in settling in to her current position. But she seemed paler as well, and perhaps a bit feverish. With the watchful eye of the Wardens nearby, there was little privacy for discussion, so his questions for her would have to wait.

Anders remained by Arielle's side, still protective of her even though she was no longer in danger. He wasn't worried about any further profane attacks; his concern also rested on the hovering Wardens. Suddenly the large room seemed very small to him, and he desired nothing more than to get away from them and head back to Kirkwall.

An hour later they began to head out, and it was another hour before the cool wind could finally be felt on their faces. The Wardens exited first followed by Hawke and her companions, all glancing towards the sky to embrace the sunlight. Time had certainly changed for them in the Deep; when they thought it was late afternoon, it was only morning on the surface.

The scouts that traveled with Nathaniel immediately headed out in several directions as Nathaniel began preparing his Wardens for departure. He then offered Hawke one of their maps with their current location marked on it for them to find their way back to the city. "A moment please Nathaniel, before we part ways?"

"I am afraid I can tarry no longer," Nathaniel stated, wishing to avoid the inevitable questions.

"Nathaniel please," Hawke begged, "There are some things we must know."

Nathaniel shook his head. "I think it is better for all of us if we leave now," he hinted, sensing the uneasiness of his Wardens. "You aren't the only one with questions Champion." He looked back towards the Wardens for a moment, and then turned to her again. "Go Hawke. Now. Please."

Hawke sighed but did as he asked, turning towards her friends and handed Varric the map. "Any idea how far out we are from this?"

Varric studied the map and their location. "Not bad, about a week maybe."

"Hawke," Fenris growled looking over her shoulder, "we should move on."

Hawke followed Fenris' eyes as he looked towards the Wardens. Just beyond them was another group of Wardens headed straight for them. "The Warden Commander," Hawke gasped. "We can't outrun them. Do we wait?"

Anders shook his head. "No," he said securing their items on the cart.

Fenris, Hawke, Arielle, and Anders led the way down the road and up a small hill in the opposite direction of the Wardens, trying to set a pace that wasn't obvious they were avoiding the Wardens. They turned around a sharp corner of the Vimmark Mountains and ran straight into a large group of Tevinter hunters. At the head of the group was Danarius.

Both Fenris and Arielle froze, eyes glaring at their former master. The gray haired man stood his ground and folded his arms across his chest. His lips curled into an evil grin as he looked upon his two slaves. "I see the lioness and the wolf have found each other again. How exciting."


	35. Unlikely Alliance

Fenris did not take his eyes away from the man who stood before him. Not while he spoke, or crossed his arms as if winning some kind of victory. Not even when Arielle fell to her knees, begging her former master for forgiveness. There had been several times Fenris assumed he would do the same, as he had done when Danarius found him among the Fog Warriors.

But not this time. Now the hate for him overwhelmed any false loyalty. The desire to crush his heart a burning intensity within his own. Fenris could feel his markings surge to life under his skin. He could not hear Hawke speaking, or Danarius' conversation with her, not over the rapid flow of blood pounding through his veins.

"So this is your new mistress," Danarius addressed Fenris briefly, before turning his attention back to Hawke. "It would be wise to calm him then Champion," Danarius said smiling as if he had already won some battle. "As you can see, you are clearly outnumbered."

Hawke looked over Danarius' shoulder at the men behind him. A dozen, maybe two, hardly the army she thought someone of his stature would travel with. Her eyes were drawn above her; maybe another six were hidden in the cliffs? Even so, not nearly as outnumbered as Danarius made it seem.

"Hawke," Sebastian called her name, the warning in his voice as clear as the weather turning above them; clouds rolled in above and thunder roared in the distance. Hawke dared a moment to look in his direction behind her, and saw the Wardens closing in from the rear. _Oh this does not look good at all_, she worried.

Fenris wasn't the only one with eyes sharply on Danarius. Anders had watched Arielle fall into instant submission and his own anger boiled to the surface as well. She had immediately cut off all connection with him, and Anders wasn't sure if it was to protect him or to rejoin with Danarius. The very thought sickened him. He was ready to strike at any moment, until a hand on his shoulder gave him pause.

Nathaniel moved to the front of Hawke's companions, placing a gentle hand on Anders before turning to face him. He said nothing, but looked to his left as more Wardens approached with him. The intensity of the situation was unsettling; even Sandal seemed frightened as Bodahn kept his arm around the boy.

The Warden Commander, dressed only for combat it seemed in his silver plate mail, blue griffon design on its front, made his way towards Danarius. The magister didn't change his posture as he stood, but Varric could've sworn he saw a touch of fear in those dark evil eyes. Once he removed his helm, the Warden Commander turned to address Hawke and her companions.

Once Hawke saw who the Warden Commander was, her stomach clenched tightly. Her anger nearly as great as Anders and Fenris, her only thought was to attack the man in front of her. "Stroud."

"We meet again, _Champion_," Stroud said the last word acknowledging her newest title since seeing her during the Qunari attack. "It appears we have both moved up within our ranks." Stroud purposely placed himself in front of Danarius, his back towards the magister. "I suggest you and your friends return to your city Champion. The battle you seek will not happen today."

Fenris hadn't moved, but did nothing to stop the glow of his markings as they grew in intensity. Anders looked to Nathaniel for any explanation in the mans eyes, but he had turned away from his old friend. Arielle remained on her knees, head buried in typical slave fashion, and was motionless as well.

"I do not take orders from the Wardens," Hawke defied Stroud. "You have no authority here."

"That is where you are wrong," Stroud replied, motioning for more of his men to form behind him, intertwining themselves with the Tevinter hunters and surrounding the Champion and her companions. "This man has been conscripted to join the Wardens; any attack on him is an attack on us, and we will not allow it."

Anders nearly choked on the statement. Fenris, for the first time, looked away from Danarius and set his eyes on Stroud. Varric and Sebastian had their own choice words under their breaths behind the group. Hawke's rage continued to increase. "You would deny my sister, claiming pity, but would take this evil man into your service?" She gritted her teeth, her jaw clenched, fingers twitched for her blades. "I should cut you down where you stand."

"And in doing so would sign a death sentence for your friends," Stroud returned the threat. "Stop thinking with your heart Champion," he offered, "it is your weakness."

Arielle lifted her head towards Danarius, and now the two looked at each other intently. Though no words passed between them, Anders knew Danarius was doing something to her. He took a step forward to intercede, but Stroud placed himself in the way. "Anders," Stroud said his name in disgust, "the same goes for you as well. You have turned your back on the Wardens, so your fate is the same as theirs," he said waving his hand over Hawke's companions.

Anders opened his mouth to say something, the anger clear in his expression, but Stroud released one more statement. "You are lucky to have someone in higher authority protecting you," he whispered the words as if they burned to say them, "or I would take you in myself for your insubordination." Stroud surprised them though when he turned to Danarius. "Release your hold on the girl. We need to get moving, and you have cost us enough time as it is."

It seemed to happen instantly, Danarius obeyed without discussion. Arielle's head dropped back down and choked heavy sobs, Anders kneeling beside her immediately. He looked up at Danarius as he wrapped his arms around Arielle. "What have you done to her?"

Danarius ignored Anders and spoke to Stroud. "I require a private word with the Champion before we leave."

"I have nothing to say to you," Hawke spat.

Fenris could barely contain his anger much longer. "You will not go near her," he growled, threatening his former master.

But Stroud nodded, allowing his request. He called for two of his men to step in front of Fenris, and two more to approach Hawke from behind. "Give them five minutes. If she moves to touch him, kill her."

Fenris turned to Hawke. "Hawke..."

She looked at him and took a deep breath. This was not the outcome they had always dreamed of when it came to finding Danarius. It would seem there would be no closure today for him, for Arielle, for any of them. They didn't stand a chance against the massive Wardens that surrounded them. What other choice did they have but to stand down? She had no desire to hear anything Danarius had to say, but her curiosity was weighing on her. "Five minutes Fenris," she assured him, and then grinned. "I will be fine."

The group watched as Hawke was escorted towards a clearing a short distance away from them. The hunters and the Wardens gave Danarius the privacy he requested, but all eyes were upon them. Sebastian chanted quietly, "Maker protect her," as the thunder continued to roll around them.


	36. Secrets

"Bodahn?" Hawke barely looked up from her writing as the dwarf approached, finishing the last letter she needed to send out.

"Yes messere?"

She handed him the stack letters, all neatly addressed to those they were intended for. "Please see that these are sent on their way immediately."

Bodahn took the pile he was handed and began perusing their intended recipients. He raised an eyebrow as he read each name, curious what his employer was up to.

"Bodahn?"

"Yes messere?"

Hawke looked up at his questionable face. "That one on top gets priority. As much as you need to pay to get it in his hands as swiftly as possible, and only by someone you trust."

Bodahn bowed to her and called for Sandal, setting out immediately from the estate. As she heard the front door close, and remembered Orana was at the market for the day, Hawke took a moment to appreciate the quiet.

The trip back to Kirkwall had remained uneventful after parting with the Wardens and Danarius. It was silent, eerily so, given the weight of the situation. Hawke made herself available to Fenris whenever possible, but he seemed lost in his own world of anger. Arielle hadn't said anything either; avoiding even Anders until last night when they all returned to Kirkwall.

Fenris retreated to his mansion and Arielle remained with Anders. Varric and Sebastian went their separate ways, and Hawke came home with the dwarves. She didn't push anyone into discussing their thoughts, and no one pried into hers. It seemed they all understood that time was needed to sort through what they had learned. Hawke still wasn't certain what any of it meant.

Her previous moments of alone time were few and far between in the last few weeks, and today would be no different. Only minutes after Bodahn and Sandal left, a knock at the door interrupted Hawke's thoughts. With a heavy sigh she dragged herself to the door where both Aveline and Isabela were waiting for her. "The two of you together," Hawke gasped in surprise, "it seems the Maker is offering miracles today!"

"Hello Hawke," Aveline said as she barged into the estate, moving at top speed it seemed to get away from the pirate.

Isabela shook her head and leaned against the front door frame. "My my sweet thing, you look about as fun as Varric this morning."

"Nice to see you too Isabela," Hawke smiled as she waited for Isabela to enter before closing the door. "I take it your trip went well?"

Isabela nodded as she moved into the living room where Aveline was already seated. "One handsome King safely delivered back to his throne, more or less intact."

Hawke looked over her shoulder to glance at her friend. "And the assassin?"

Isabela smiled mischievously. "I may have borrowed him for a bit longer."

"Isabela," Hawke scolded, "wasn't Zevran supposed to be helping protect the King?"

"He was bored," Isabela stated as she plopped herself down in a chair. "Besides, from what I hear you may need an assassin in your back pocket."

"And not in your pants," Aveline replied narrowing her eyes at Isabela.

Isabela laughed at the guard captain making a joke at her expense. Hawke could do nothing but smile at the familiar banter between the two; the first real sign she was home. "Alright," Hawke began, seating herself between the two women. "An update into the insanity that has become my life."

Isabela sat back in her seat and removed a small dagger from her boot. She began picking underneath her nails with it, already bored. "Make it a good story Hawke," she said barely interested, "I gave up sex for this you know."

Aveline opened her mouth to reply, but Hawke's response was so much better than any retort she could've come up with. "How about a blood mage using you as a puppet Isabela, is that good enough?"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Sebastian watched his friend pace the dusty floor of the mansion. He had come to check on Fenris after being met with silence for the remainder of the trip home, and had hoped the night in familiar surroundings would've settled him. Instead he found Fenris as he was now, cursing under his breath and utterly exhausted. "I can't imagine being in such a depressing place is helping your mood Fenris. Perhaps it is time to move on from here."

"Move on," Fenris growled under his breath repeating the words. "Yes, I shall do just that. Move on while my former master still lives." His anger remained at the surface as he kicked the sand on the floor. "To have him within my grasp and not be able to crush his heart..." Sebastian dared to move closer to the elf, but stopped as green eyes stared up at him in hate. "Even now he controls my actions. Protecting himself within the Wardens. Still free to haunt me as he chooses. There is no closure, no moving on. As long as there is breath within him I can not be free."

Sebastian stood his ground and hardened his voice a bit. "Fenris, you _are _free. The chains you claim to have are of your own making. The only person holding you back from accepting that is _you_."

"You know nothing about being a slave," Fenris stated as his pacing resumed.

Sebastian sighed. "No, but I know what it is to be a man that holds on to too much hate. It will consume you my friend, until there is nothing left of you. Would you allow that to happen?" When Fenris didn't respond, Sebastian added, "would you do that to Hawke?"

Fenris stopped at the mention of her name. He closed his eyes and pictured her face, the smell of her skin, the way she looked at him. "I have no wish to hurt her," Fenris whispered.

"Then you must stop this madness," Sebastian insisted. "Years ago you thought you thought you would never earn her forgiveness. You have that now and more. Why throw that away while stewing in your hate for your former master? Your place is with Hawke, not in this filthy mansion obsessing over Danarius."

Fenris wanted to respond but couldn't. Though he had longed to be with Hawke again for an eternity and now finally was again, he had wished death upon Danarius far longer. Knowing all that Danarius had stolen from him; his family, his memories, Vasilia, to come face to face with him again and watch him walk away, it dropped Fenris into some dark hole he could not see a way out of.

"I need to be alone," Fenris said as he brushed passed Sebastian and out of the mansion.

Sebastian turned his head upwards at the cracking ceiling. Normally his faith got him through anything, his certainty of the Maker watching over him. Lately though as he watched the people around him struggle with their own demons, he was beginning to have doubts. Sebastian dropped his head with a sigh and left the mansion as well, heading towards the Chantry for some much needed prayer.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Isabela felt unclean. The knowledge that Danarius had used his magic on her didn't sit well with her, and her skin began to itch from something she couldn't quite scratch. "He told you this himself," Isabela asked, still having a hard time believing Hawke's story.

Hawke nodded in confirmation. "Varric was right; it was too easy to get Arielle out of the city," Hawke continued. "For something so valuable as his daughter, to have no guards watching her, no hunters stopping us from leaving...even the golems at the gate should have been tipped off. I guess the lockdown and initial hunt was just for show. He wanted us to take her."

Isabela was nearly sick, the knots in her stomach tightening. "Torching Alfora's house was just for show?" Isabela rolled her eyes. "She'll be so happy to hear that."

Hawke sighed. "He certainly isn't the most stable person I have ever met. How you can brand your daughter with lyrium and then claim to want her protected..."

"More lies and games," Aveline figured out loud. "How do we know he didn't get into your head during that conversation?"

"And do what," Hawke asked, "compel me to tell you both the truth? Of course I don't trust most of what he said, but if even half of it is true..."

"Go through it again Hawke," Aveline stated. "From the beginning."

_"I don't see what you and I possibly have to talk about," Hawke said to the much older and taller gentleman before her. "My only desire is to slit your throat and watch you bleed to death."_

_"Such passion," Danarius admired, "too bad you aren't a mage. The fun you and I could have together."_

_Hawke shifted her weight and crossed her arms. "Five minutes Danarius. What do you want?"_

_Danarius checked one more time to make sure no one was within earshot and lowered his voice. "About one hundred paces north of here there is a cave. Within that cave is a chest. You will want to retrieve what I have left for you."_

_Hawke eyed him suspiciously. "For me? How did you even know I would be here?"_

_Danarius clenched his jaw from his lack of patience with her idle questions. "I have been aware of your every movement since you met Fenris. I have eyes and ears in every city from Seheron to the Korcari Wilds. I granted Fenris his freedom by not pursuing him the moment I knew he was in Kirkwall. I allowed you to take Arielle. Did you really think you could walk into my city and take my daughter right from under me?"_

_Hawke kept her expression as neutral as possible. "Why would you allow it then? Given what you've done to her, I must doubt that you care about her. Or anyone but yourself for that matter."_

_Danarius didn't feed into her personal jabs at him. "Your whore companion was easily manipulated into finding Arielle. A simple spell really. I needed Arielle out of the city and you provided me with the perfect opportunity to not only accomplish that but have her protected."_

_"Protected from what," Hawke questioned._

_Danarius looked over her shoulder at the massive army at their backs. "The Wardens. They are after the red lyrium, and anything associated with it."_

_"Then why are they not taking Arielle as well right now? Why only you?"_

_"I made a deal," Danarius informed her. "I have something they want more than her."_

_Hawke thought for a moment, and then realization hit her. "You're the one who removed all the lyrium?"_

_Danarius nodded. "Minrathous has close ties with Orzammar. The dwarves were more than helpful in assisting with its removal. Unfortunate half of them have gone mad however." He shrugged off his latest comment and continued. "The Wardens have already attempted several experiments with the lyrium themselves, to less than favorable results. They seek my knowledge as well as my supply."_

_"The only supply left in all of Thedas," Hawke concluded and Danarius confirmed with a nod. "So you are to become a Warden then?"_

_Danarius shook his head. "My skill is not in fighting darkspawn Champion. The Wardens conscript many that do not undergo their Joining. It's a means of protection, nothing more."_

_Hawke thought on his words, and confronted him in a discrepancy. "You said you did not pursue Fenris, but you did. You sent hunters and Hadriana after him. How is that granting him his freedom?"  
><em>

_The mention of Hadriana seemed to change Danarius' demeanor slightly. "I did not send Hadriana," he told Hawke. "She chased after Fenris of her own volition."_

_"Why would she do that?" Hawke asked curiously._

_"I haven't the time nor the patience to explain my family to you," Danarius snarled, clearly not wishing to discuss the matter further._

_"Alright then, so why share all of this with me," Hawke questioned again. "What is your plan Danarius?"_

_"I have granted both Fenris and Arielle their freedoms. In exchange for this, when the time comes, I expect them both to fight at my side," he informed her. "A war much larger than you can imagine is coming Champion. It would be wise of you to choose the winning side."_

_Hawke scrunched her brow in confusion. "What war are you talking about?"_

_"Don't pretend to be naive little girl," Danarius scolded her. "For now the war is just beginning within your own city."_

_"The templars and mages?" Hawke asked. "I thought this was about the Qunari?"_

_Danarius formed a satisfied smile. "How much and yet how little you know Champion. In time, yes the Qunari. But before that can happen the mages will need their freedom. And you are going to help them achieve it."_

_"Oh I am, am I?" Hawke dared to ask, "and just why would I agree to help you?"_

_"No doubt you did not miss the display of power I held over Arielle just now," Danarius warned her. "If I wish it, I could bring Fenris to his knees just as easily. They are both my creation. I can destroy them with a simple thought. If you wish for his life, you will side with the mages when the time comes."_

_Hawke did not appreciate his threats, but did not respond to them. "The chest, what's in it?"_

_"Everything you need to know about the ritual that branded them both," Danarius told her. "As well as their capabilities. Neither one of them know their full potential. But most importantly, that book can never fall into the Wardens hands. You will destroy it before that happens, are we clear?"_

_Hawke wasn't sure if she was clear on anything he had said. Could they trust him, or anything he had said? The approaching Wardens signaled their time was up, and Hawke nodded to Danarius before he turned his back on her and left with the army._

"So where's the book now," Aveline asked.

"Where else," Hawke smiled, "but in the hands of a Warden."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders ran his hand through his ragged hair, and then scratched at the lengthy stubble on his chin. He sat at his desk in his clinic surrounded by parchments of notes and various scribbles. His manifesto was tossed to the floor the previous evening and replaced with a book he poured over well into the morning. The only thing to tear him away from his studies was Arielle, who called for him from his bed in the backroom of the clinic.

He sat on the bed beside her, gently running his fingers over her forehead to remove the waking strands of hair that covered her eyes. Arielle studied his face for a moment, before wetting her lips with her tongue to speak. "You haven't slept," she stated, seeing the redness in his eyes and the exhaustion in his face.

Anders shook his head as he brought the back of his hand down her cheek. "We need answers," he whispered to her. "How could I sleep when they are in the next room?"

Arielle pulled away from him and moved herself against the wall, making room for Anders to lay in the bed with her. "Leave it for now," she said to him.

Anders sighed but did as she requested. He settled into the bed next to her on his back, staring up at the ceiling as if it held some answer for him. He pulled her into him as she rested her head on his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart. "Close your eyes," she whispered to him as she settled into his mind. "Follow me."

Anders stroked her hair as he joined her in her mind, following her thoughts into an image she presented to him. A night sky overhead, clouds below giving way to the final rays of the sun as it sets. A rainbow of colors contrasting over the clouds and reflecting on water. A vast ocean surrounded a mountainous island. "What is this place," Anders asked, losing himself in the reds and blues of the changing sky.

She smiled under his touch, feeling the warmth of the sun and the winds of the ocean in her mind. "My hiding place," she informed him as she brought her arm over his stomach and rested it there. "It's where I used to go in my head when I needed to escape."

Anders tried to keep his negative thoughts away from the scene, suppressing his anger at the things he knew had been done to her to create such a place. "It's very beautiful," he commented as he wrapped his arms around her, "as are you."

Arielle opened her eyes and lifted her head to look at him. He knew she didn't believe him; didn't see herself as capable of being such a thing. She didn't have to say it; their connection was strong enough now that they knew each others thoughts with little effort. Just as she knew he meant what he said, he knew she couldn't comprehend such a concept.

Anders was about to ask her again what had happened between her and Danarius in the mountains. Arielle knew the question was coming and put her head back down on his chest, avoiding his stare. "Leave it for now," she said again, keeping her thoughts to the event closed off from him.

He didn't push her. Instead he trailed his fingers up and down her back until she drifted off to sleep. Moments later he followed her into the rainbow clouds in her mind.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **__**On my profile is a link to a picture of the place Arielle takes Anders to in her mind.**_


	37. Whispers

_He wanted nothing more than to be with her. Watching her every day but being unable to touch her was slowly driving him mad with desire. This day when she moved passed him, she "accidentally" dropped her scarf, and bent down to pick it up. The white sheen dress she wore fell over her skin, accenting her hips that he longed to dig his fingertips into. The sunlight shown through the window and caressed her rear, and it was easy to see she wore nothing underneath._

_The low growl vibrating in his throat matched the pulsing sensation within his groin. She stood slowly and arched her back in a stretch, peaked nipples pushing against the material, taunting him. He wanted to secure his mouth on those peaks, run his tongue in circles around them as she squirmed beneath his heavy form. He longed to hear her call his name, beg for him to tear the cloth from her body and take her where she stood. _

_She brought the scarf around her neck, allowing each end of the fabric to fall upon the breasts that enticed him, and brushed her long black hair off her shoulders. He focused on her exposed neck, the marks he had left there a week ago finally fading to a soft yellow. She ran her long fingers across the colored flesh and then settled the scarf in place, the marks disappearing behind the dark silk that matched her eyes. _

_He watched her disappear behind the door at the end of the hall, her bedroom that he knew well, and he focused his attentions on softening the uncomfortable bulge between his legs. He knew she would remain there for the rest of the night; smiling at thoughts of him at first, and then as the sun settled her eyes would turn to sadness. She would drift off alone, as he would, questioning why they had chosen this path apart._

"Fenris?"

Her voice called to him and he turned to gaze upon those same eyes he had just thought of. "Arielle. What are you doing here?"

She sat beside him on the fallen tree, absorbing the view of the water below them. A cliff just outside Kirkwall's gates provided them with a view of the incoming vessels. Arielle kicked a few rocks under her feet and watched them fall over the edge, plummeting to the sea. "I came looking for you," she answered his question.

Fenris straightened his posture but remained next to her. "How did you find me?"

"It seems we both have the ability to locate large quantities of lyrium," Arielle informed him. "Doubting you were in the Gallows, I chose the next highest concentrated area."

"The book," Fenris assumed and she nodded in confirmation. "He was able to decipher it then?"

"He's done little else in the last week," Arielle told him. "I don't understand what any of it says or what he's writing. I just know it's a lot."

"Hmm," Fenris muttered. He assumed she couldn't read, much like he couldn't before Hawke had taught him. It had been a while since he thought of their similarities; everything she was probably beginning to realize about herself just like he had so long ago.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the waves below crash into the sandstone rocks beneath them. The wind began to pick up around them; Arielle's hair waved in the breeze and hit Fenris in the face. She laughed and apologized, gathering the dark locks together and pulled them over her opposite shoulder, exposing her neck to him.

Fenris found himself desiring to taste her skin, remnants of his most recent flashback, and he pushed those thoughts away before he acted on them. His heart was heavy with confusion and he turned from her, wondering when those old feelings would dissipate. He cleared his throat and attempted to engage in conversation, hoping it would help him forget. "Why were you looking for me?"

"Anders asked me to," Arielle answered him. "In part to see if I could actually find you, but also to tell you of something he found in the book that he knew you'd want to know."

Fenris turned to look at her, seeing a bit of conflict in her eyes. "Tell me."

Arielle didn't meet his gaze; instead she looked out into the horizon as she filled him in. "There's a spell. One of the few he's certain he can perform without blood magic. The decision is yours of course, but he would need some warning to gather the ingredients he doesn't have on hand."

"More magic," Fenris groaned, already disliking the idea. "The purpose of this spell?"

She turned her head slowly to look at him, his eyes still intently upon her. "Anders told me that you believe the pain from the ritual erased your memory."

"Yes," Fenris said. "Parts of the ritual were my earliest memories. I was not strong enough to hold on to them while enduring the pain."

Arielle shook her head. "That's not true," she told him. "Anders said that if it were pain alone you wouldn't have remembered even basic speech or language; you'd be as helpless as a baby. He told me that part of the ritual was to block personal memories while leaving intact the knowledge for basic function." She knew from his expression he wasn't believing her, so she continued. "You still knew how to fight, how to understand and speak both common and Arcanum didn't you?"

He nodded, slowly seeing her point.

"The memories were never erased; just blocked by the ritual," Arielle continued. "Anders thinks that's why you are able to remember some things now. He claims all magic fades over time."

"And this spell he has discovered?"

"Will remove the barrier completely," Arielle concluded, "allowing you to remember everything."

Fenris felt the need to move, so he stood and began pacing the sandy area. Varania had helped him remember a lot of his past, but being presented with the opportunity to remember everything seemed to overwhelm him. Small memories had come to him on their own, but now he would have it all. His mother, a part of him he recalled very little of. His father...to finally be able to see him as something more than a vague description. His sister, their childhood, how they grew up. It was one thing to hear it from Varania, but to now remember his own experiences? Times he wasn't with Varania that she couldn't possibly ever tell him about?

And then his thoughts drifted back to Vasilia, as he watched Arielle watching him. To remember every detail of their relationship; every day spent with his family, every night spent with her...would that hurt or help the feelings he was currently struggling with? Would he be able to say goodbye to her, like she insisted he needed to do, if he could recall every intimate touch between them?

He had to know. "Have you decided?" Fenris asked her. If she remembered him as well...would she be so quick to reject him like she had before?

Arielle nodded. "I have."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

In a dark corner of Hightown, down the only alley in the area, the group met for the third time. Their numbers increased since their last meeting; now six robed figured joined the seven wearing plate. One stood guard at the entrance to the alley as the others discussed their latest plan.

"I still don't think this is the way to go," a man said, his voice in a hushed whisper for only the group to hear.

"I see no other option," a woman, stern in her conviction and denying all other suggestions.

"If you let me talk to her, she will see reason. I have dealt with her before," the man said, "she will help us."

"No," the woman spat back. "You forget I have dealt with her too, and she will not see reason from words. We must force her hand if we expect her help. It is the only way."

A shy voice spoke up from the crowd behind the woman. "Surely we can not find peace by committing such an act. Does this not go against what we stand for?"

The man in plate agreed, but the woman would hear no more. "And if she decides to turn us all in instead? Then what? It's the dungeons for you and tranquility for us. That is a risk I am not willing to take."

"But Grace..."

"No, Ser Thrask. If we want her on our side, she must be forced into it. You heard her during the debate. She refuses to take sides. The time for courtesy is over."

Thrask nodded, conceding to the idea. "Have you determined who is closest to her?"

"We have," Grace informed him. "Upon our next meeting we will work out the details. For now we must go. We've remained too long."

As the group disbanded Thrask made his way back to the Gallows with Keran beside him. The impending plan weighed heavily on both their minds, and finally Keran stopped and addressed Thrask. "If it wasn't for Hawke I would still be under the thrall of that blood mage, or worse. I can not believe we are agreeing to do this to her."

Thrask turned to look at the younger recruit. "I know she saw reason before when she helped Grace and the others. But times are different now. Grace is right, Hawke chose no side in the argument between Meredith and Orsino." He placed a hand on Kerans shoulder. "Without her influence it won't matter what our group accomplishes. We are still small in numbers, and don't have the support we need without her."

"But kidnapping?" Keran shook his head.

Thrask looked sternly at the boy. "You are either with us or against us Keran. I know it is difficult, I have my doubts as well. But Meredith can not be allowed to continue on this path. All of Kirkwall may fall under her wrath, and it is our duty to protect this city."

Keran said nothing as he fell into step with Thrask. He wondered if there was some way he could warn Hawke without the others knowing, but being only a recruit he knew his actions would be monitored. With a heavy sigh he remained silent, hoping Hawke and her friends would be smart enough to cooperate so that no one got hurt in the end.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Varric sat at his table pouring over notices and letters that had piled up while he was gone. Notices from the merchants guild about various rules that were broken, amendments to rules that were made, funds distributed to this cause and that. Nothing of interest there he thought as he tossed them in the trash pile.

A few responses to his inquiries about the contracts that were out on the lyirum twins; everything pointed to those contracts disappearing. Still no idea who put them out there in the first place, and yet now they were recalled. Varric set those aside in his Hawke pile and continued.

Finally, something of interest! His letter to Scholar Gertek in Orzammar had arrived. Varric sat back with his mug of ale and read over the letter:

_Varric of House Tethras. The second of House Tethras to inquire about the primevil lyrium. After Bartrand, the influx of questions was alarming considering the sources. It was a courtesy to provide such information to your family, but this will be the last communication you receive on the matter given the circumstances._

_Since Bartrands inquiry we had also received requests from the Wardens, a Tevinter magister, and Knight-Commander Meredith whom you should be familiar with. We owe no obligation to two; our treaty with the Wardens was settled long ago, and Meredith is nothing to us. But the magister, he has had an alliance with several of the noble caste for years. He commissioned an expedition into the thaig where Bartrand originally discovered the primevil lyrium, and has since removed all of its supply. Do not waste your time returning there, I hear it is completely empty now._

_The expedition members returned recently and began to show alarming signs of confusion, desperation, hysteria, and paranoia. We had wrongly assumed dwarves were not susceptible to the power of red lyrium. The status of these brave men show otherwise; though their troubles will not be recorded in the Memories by the Shaperate. These dwarves were offered positions among The Legion of the Dead to finish out their limited life spans given their mental state, but most ended up taking their own lives or forced the city guards into doing it for them. I offer you the same warning I offered your brother: stay away from the primevil lyrium at all costs. Atrast tunsha._

"Well shit," Varric said to himself. "Thanks for the warning Gertek."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke timidly walked into the mansion, the creaking of the front door finally stopping when she closed it behind her. She hadn't seen Fenris since their return from the Deep Roads, and her fear was beginning to overwhelm her. She figured he would want time alone to deal with Danarius slipping through their fingers, and after Sebastian told her how his visit went, Hawke thought it best to give Fenris some time.

But that was a week ago. Days without speaking to him, or knowing what he was thinking, how he was managing his anger. Hawke began to wonder if he blamed her for not allowing the inevitable battle to the death. Her imagination ran wild until she could stand it no longer; she had to see him.

"Fenris?" Her call for him echoed off the stone walls, answered only by the movement she heard upstairs. Slowly she walked up the steps, her hand on her weapon just in case, and she pushed open the bedroom door.

Fenris was moving swiftly through the room, gathering assorted clothing and sharpening tools and stuffing them into a bag. She watched for several minutes, trying to comprehend his actions as he continued what appeared to be packing.

"Fenris?" She called again, a near whisper this time as her heart sank and her stomach knotted.

He lifted the bag and swung it over his shoulder, turning to look at her for the first time. "Hawke," he said her name in that low tone of his that normally brought pleasurable bumps to her skin.

This time though, the fear overwhelmed all other thoughts in her mind. A lump caught in her throat as she surveyed the room, seeing that all of his personal belongings were now stuffed into the bag he carried. She opened her mouth to ask, her voice betraying her with its own fear. "Fenris, are you leaving?"

He took a few steps forward, his head hanging low as his eyes remained fixed on the floor beneath his feet. He hadn't planned on her coming to the mansion, but now that she was there, he was almost glad to get it over with. "Yes," he told her, daring to lift his head to see the tears in her eyes.


	38. Moving Forward

They stood in the doorway to his bedroom in silence. Hawke searched his eyes for an explanation, wondering why he would want to leave. She ran through all the possibilities in her mind; was it her? Danarius? Arielle? Everything seemed to be okay between them in the Deep Roads; though they hadn't made love since that night right here in this very room, they were at each others sides through the dark and cold. Every night on the surface and below they spent in each others arms.

What has changed? Sebastian told her little about his conversation a few days ago. But as far as Hawke knew Sebastian was the last one to see Fenris. The only advice Sebastian gave was to give Fenris some time. Yet to Hawke, time was not on their side. Had she waited any longer...would he have just left? Without a goodbye?

Fenris watched her intently, fascinated by all of the different emotions on her face. She seemed to be having some internal dialogue; something he knew she did often. When he noticed her expressions were growing largely full of sorrow, he interrupted her thoughts. "I thought perhaps it was time I accepted your advice," Fenris told Hawke as she stood before him, the tears threatening to fall at any moment.

She cleared her throat, also trying to clear her mind of the many ways this day was going to end. None of them were pleasant to her; all of them ended in pain. She responded in a small, timid voice, "what advice was that? I'm having a hard time remembering."

Fenris brought his hand to her face and rested it gently on her skin. He ran his thumb over her cheekbone, attempting to keep her tears from falling. His lips curled into a small smile as he stared into her eyes. "If the offer still stands, I thought I would move in with you permanently."

Hawke's mouth fell open into a gasp, and then anger and rage took over. She clenched her fist and punched him square in the chest, hard, the impact causing him to take a small step back. Immediately the pain shot through her knuckles having come in contact with his armor, and she frowned at the blood that started to flow.

Fenris couldn't help but laugh at her display of anger, dropping his bag to take her wounded hand into his. She ripped her hand away from him and shoved him hard in the chest again, this time causing him to stumble. "Why are you laughing at me," she demanded, though her temper was fading under the boisterous laugh that he was still booming. "This is not funny," she claimed, though she began to laugh with him.

Fenris moved towards her with lightning speed and wrapped his arms around her, holding her head into his chest as he stroked her hair. "Hawke," he spoke her name calmly now, though she could tell he was still smirking. "When I said I would not leave you, I meant it."

She turned her head to look up at him, resting her chin on his armor. "You really mean it? You are moving into the estate?" What were tears of utter despair and sadness moments ago were quickly turning into tears of joy.

He bent down and pressed his lips on to hers, pulling her closer to him. She opened her mouth for him and the warmth of his tongue on hers sent chills down her spine. Teeth nibbled on her bottom lip before he retreated and set his green eyes intently on hers. "There is no reason for me to remain here," he answered her. "And there is no other place I would rather be than with you."

Hawke couldn't help the huge girlish grin on her face. "Good," she said giving him a quick kiss before detaching herself from his arms. She moved passed him and picked up his bag. "Just to be sure though, your things stay with me until we get there."

Another brief chuckle from him lifted her heart. "You may keep everything of mine you wish Hawke," he said as they both descended down the stairs. "But when we get to the estate, there is something I would like to discuss with you."

Hawke looked over her shoulder at him. "That will have to wait until tomorrow," she responded. "I am not speaking to you for the rest of the day, and it's the guest room for you this evening!"

Fenris grabbed her arm and pulled her into him, forcing another kiss upon her lips. The power of his desire, his sudden need for her, nearly knocked her off her feet. But he relented. "Fair enough," he said when he broke away from her, his breath so close to her tickling her nose.

Her knees were weak from the demand in his kiss but she refused to waver further. Fenris noticed her temporary will falter and grinned again, causing her to huff and storm out of the mansion ahead of him. He may have distracted her temporarily with his passion, but she was determined to not let him win so easily. The fact that he laughed at her quick jump to conclusions, laughed! Oh the nerve of that elf! She was already plotting seductive revenge in her mind.

Fenris exited the mansion after her, and they both paused as Fenris shut the door behind him. Though there were many fond memories of the mansion, they were both glad to never have to return. Hawke reached a hand out to him which he accepted, and they offered a silent goodbye to the home that was never really his.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Orsino carefully opened the letter, breaking the wax seal of the griffon. His hands shook slightly as he unfolded the vellum. He feared what was inside, had a suspicion what it was, and took a moment to prepare himself before reading the words:

_Our friend is now in the custody of the Wardens. No further contact between you and I or you and he are possible. Proceed as originally planned; this setback changes nothing, and is only temporary. Plans for his release are already underway._

_Do not fail us. Everything rests on you now._

_In War, Victory._

_Janeka_

Orsino studied the letter, rereading it several times. He ran a hand through his graying hair and pondered the true meaning of Janeka's words. It was in his hands now. Everything they had planned over the last few years was finally on the horizon. Nothing further would happen without his action; an act he knew would change the world forever. Was it the pressure that was frightening him he wondered, or was he having second thoughts as to his role in this?

A knock at the door disturbed his thoughts as Knight-Captain Cullen stepped in. "First Enchanter, a word if you please."

Orsino stood, carefully slipping the letter between a few other papers on the desk. "What is it now," he asked Cullen, aggravated that the templars seemed to constantly interrupt his time.

"I do not wish to discuss it here," Cullen said in a low voice, nodding towards Meredith's office. "We need to discuss the Harrowing schedule for tomorrow," he said a bit louder, faking an excuse.

Orsino followed in step behind Cullen and left the office, moving down the long corridor to the gardens at the end of the hall.

Moments later the door to Orsino's office reopened as the rogue slipped in unnoticed. The desk was searched carefully for the letter that was recently received; its description clear from the messenger who delivered it. Once found, the rogue slipped out of the room unnoticed, and moved through the shadows towards the Gallows courtyard.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Arielle entered the clinic as Anders attended to the last patient of the day. He seemed worn out, sweat collecting on his brow, as he expelled the last of his healing magic into the girl. "What happened," Arielle asked Damen, Anders assistant, who was leaning by the door of the clinic to turn away any last minute stragglers.

"Beam came down in one of them lower hovels," Damen explained. "Crushed the girls leg well and good, but the healer's got it under control." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "He's pretty spent though ya know. You should convince him to sleep this night."

Arielle nodded but remained quiet, feeling the outpouring of magic in the small room. Anders worked tirelessly until he seemed to have nothing left in him, and Damen ran to be by his side in case he faltered. Anders held on to Damen's arm briefly as he steadied himself, and then smiled down at the girl. "Why don't you try to move it now, see how it feels."

The girl lifted her leg and then bent her knee, her smile matching that of her mother that looked on. The mother was a mess of tears, thanking Anders over and over again as Damen attempted to escort them out of the clinic. It took a few minutes, but she finally gathered her daughter and left, whispering "thank the Maker for the healer" as she exited into Darktown. Arielle locked the doors behind them.

Anders gave her a weak smile as she left the door and moved towards him. She took his hand and laced her fingers between his, and then pulled him in the direction of the bed. Anders rubbed his brow in exhaustion, allowing her to lead him. She then released his hand and began working at undoing his robes, and he brought his hands to hers to stop them. "What are you doing," Anders questioned her in a tired voice.

"_I _am doing nothing," she told him. "_You_ are getting some rest."

He shook his head in protest. "I can't. I must do more research before I can rest for the night." A yawn escaped his lips but he tried to hide it, resisting the urge to crawl into bed. "Did you find Fenris alright?"

Arielle ignored his question and resumed unbuttoning his clothing. When he tried to stop her again, she allowed the waves of anger to pour out of her and into him. Anders couldn't help the smile as he admitted defeat and allowed her to continue. Buttons and buckles were undone and a belt was untied. Soon his robes fell and she kicked them out of the way. She climbed into the small bed first, and then pulled him down next to her.

They formed in their usual position; Anders on his back with an arm around her, and Arielle resting her head on his chest. They had done this since the Deep Roads; cuddling and falling asleep together. Arielle still kept a distance in their connection which Anders understood, but he felt it was time to address all the unspoken issues between them. "Arielle, we need to talk."

"About?" she said as she ran her hand along the muscles of his stomach. He closed his eyes for a moment, lost in her touch, the light caress of her fingertips on his flesh. He knew he'd lose all control if she moved a few inches lower. But he couldn't. They hadn't. He needed answers.

Anders sat up a bit and leaned his back against the wall, forcing her to move with him. "This," he said waving his hand over the two of them in bed. "Us. We've barely spoken about anything that has happened since Justice. I understand why you withhold the connection, but without it I do not know how you are feeling." Arielle's face flushed a bit, and his heart broke at the thought that he had hurt her somehow. But he pressed her further; he had to know. "We sleep together but have only been intimate once. You say you can't love me yet every night you are beside me. What are we doing?"

Arielle turned away from him, and he immediately brought his hand under her chin, gently turning her face to look at him. His touch on her face softened her, but she still avoided his eyes. The small connection she did allow him to have she now closed, not wanting him to know the struggle that was building inside her.

"Don't do that. Don't shut me out like that," he said to her. "We can't keep avoiding it."

"I am not avoiding anything," Arielle said to him, though neither one of them believed it.

Anders tried to hide his frustration. "What happened with Justice. With Danarius. What's happening between us. You have been avoiding it, and I have allowed you to." Anders kept his hand on her back, moving his hand up and down her spine. "Talk to me love. Please."

"I can't," Arielle whispered so softly he barely heard her. She wanted to, desperately, to clear the air between them. He was right though, she was avoiding. Avoiding him, avoiding the truth, avoiding her feelings. The easiest way to let him know would be to open up to him. But that trust had been damaged; he had forced himself into her mind. Justice had attacked her. She had forgiven those things, but found it difficult to forget.

And then there was Fenris. Deep down her body ached with guilt over what had happened between them. She knew her eyes betrayed her, knew from his expression that he saw the guilt there, and he asked. "You have something to say. I can see it. Tell me," he begged, "please. Anything."

"I kissed Fenris," Arielle said without thinking, and the soothing movement on her back ceased. The tension in Anders was clear as his jaw clenched and she felt a fist form behind her. Arielle breathed through the building anger and jealousy within him. "I thought you should know," she whispered.

Anders pulled his arm from behind her and let it rest on his chest, controlling his own breathing as best he could. He pushed, he knew it, but this was not what he expected her to say. Anders chose not to look at her, to avoid her deep blue eyes as they looked way from him, and he dared to inquire further, "this happened today?"

Arielle shook her head. "No, before the Deep Roads," she explained. "He keeps thinking of me as the person he once knew and I'm not that person. I did it so he could say goodbye to her. I..." she paused, trying to find the words to explain it to him, "I didn't want him to stay in the past."

Anders faced her now, searching her eyes for emotion. Then realization hit him. This was his fault. "Before the Deep Roads," he repeated to himself.

"Yes," she confirmed. "After...after what happened with Justice."

Anders felt the weight of the statement hit him in the stomach. "I drove you to him," he stated more to himself than to her.

But she responded. "No," she said placing her hand on his. "Remember when you told me that whatever I learn of my past I should not let it consume me?"

"After Varania attacked you," Anders recalled.

"Yes. Fenris told me everything; anything he knew about who we once were. You also told me that the past cannot be changed, that it can only be learned from. And I learned that I am not that person he was talking about. I don't even know who she is. And I don't want to know."

Anders was still a bit stunned from her confession. "But the spell. To retrieve your memories. You _can _know. You _will _know...he will know..." he trailed off, the pain of the thought almost too much. Fenris would have her then. They would be together as they once were...

"I don't _want_ to know," she said to him, "and Fenris already knows. But he is in love with Hawke, and nothing is going to change that. He needed to say goodbye to the memory of Vasilia in order to move on, and I wanted to help him. I owed him that. I owed them both that."

Anders didn't know what to say. He knew in his heart Arielle wouldn't lie to him, that she was probably incapable of doing so. He knew from his previous experiences of being within her mind that she cared for Fenris, and though often upset with her, she cared for Hawke as well. They had rescued her from the torment she was forced to endure; they gave her freedom and fought to protect her. It was a gift she felt she could never repay.

Her next words confirmed what he was thinking. "After everything I have learned about my past, why would I want to remember that life? It sounds empty, hard, painful. But this life, though it may have started off that way, seems to be changing for the better."

Anders closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "Do you really believe that," he asked, not daring to trust what he was hearing.

"When you got hurt in the Deep Roads," she began, "it hurt me too. I thought you were gone." He opened his eyes and looked at her, seeing the pain in her face for the first time. "When Danarius had his hold on me, I pulled away from you because I didn't want him to hurt you. If he knew we had the bond that we do, you would be in danger." Arielle felt the emotions she did then, each instance she described, and it was starting to overwhelm her. "When Justice attacked me, I still wanted you, still came to you, still needed you." He watched as the tears began to fall from her eyes. "I told you I don't know anything about love Anders. But I know I don't want to be anywhere but here. With you."

Anders brought his hand to her face and brushed her tears away. "Sweetheart," he pressed his mouth to her quivering lips and remained there for several moments before pulling away, "that is the very definition of love."


	39. Seeking Answers

Hawke sat in the library going through the letters she had received yesterday. A tiresome task; which to ignore, what to respond to, calculating how many lies were necessary for the others. The one she was waiting for wasn't among the stack, and she sighed in disappointment. She knew her impatience was to blame, but she wanted and needed answers to so many questions.

Isabela, Varric, and Zevran were escorted into the library by Bodahn, who gave a polite bow when he exited. Hawke looked up at the trio with a concerned frown. "What's with the rogue invasion?"

Zevran smiled mischievously as he turned to study the books Hawke owned. They had seen each other a few times during the week when Hawke was dragged to the Hanged Man. After several flirt attempts were returned with snarls from Fenris, Zevran behaved himself within her company. Isabela didn't however, each night daring Hawke to come to bed with the two of them as always. Some things never changed in Kirkwall, and Hawke was glad for it.

Varric moved towards the large table in the room and sat down. Hawke turned her head to look at him and stood, realizing it was one of _those_ visits. "You should probably get broody in on this too," Varric told Hawke.

"'Broody' is already here," Fenris said as he entered the room. Zevran nodded his head towards the fellow elf as Fenris glared at him before taking his usual seat at the table. The others did the same and Varric placed a letter on the table.

Hawke read the note first; details about the red lyrium from Gertek as well as who had recently inquired about it. Mostly the letter was confirmation for suspicions the group already had, but the news of the dwarves going insane was a little troubling. Hawke handed the letter over to Fenris and watched his expression as he read it.

"We should take this to Anders," Fenris said.

"I agree," Hawke stated despondently. "What do you think Varric? I know we have glossed over the topic before, but it seems it's time to address it again." She thought carefully on her next words, not wanting to upset Fenris. "Could she be a danger to us?"

Varric snorted. "Shit, what do I know? If she were an object? I would say run. But we have no idea. These dwarves were handling raw material, which she isn't. You touch broody all the time and you're fine, what's the difference?"

Hawke looked towards Fenris to gauge his reaction the statement. "We were down there with her for a long time in an enclosed space, and we all seem to be alright. Besides Anders, you've had the most exposure to her. Notice anything unusual?"

Fenris shrugged. "No. Perhaps Danarius' book will help. I do not remember the ritual, so I can not tell you how the markings came to be in the first place."

Hawke turned away from him and bit her bottom lip as she realized the secret she's been keeping could actually be beneficial to this discussion. She quickly weighed the options in her mind, ignoring the narrowing eyes from Isabela who looked like she knew Hawke was hiding something.

Orana told her the story, so Orana would have to retell it to the group. Hawke knew that was likely to make the girl extremely uncomfortable, so much so she may never confide in Hawke again. That option was out of the question then; Hawke didn't want to do that to her after all she had been through.

She could tell them what she knows, swearing them to secrecy that Anders, Arielle, and Orana never know that they know, but then she'd have to admit that she's been holding it in this entire time. The rogues wouldn't care, but Fenris...he just moved into the estate. They were finally starting to put their relationship where it should be. If she was going to tell him about the worst day of his life, it shouldn't be in front of an audience.

"I'm sorry," Hawke said shifting out of her daze, "I am such a terrible hostess. These meetings always make me thirsty...anyone else?"

A few heads nodded, though Fenris was busy staring at her, clearly not believing her concern was only for their thirst. He let her leave the room though and did not follow. If she wanted to be alone for a few minutes he would give her the space and not push. He too was concerned about their relationship finally getting back on track, and did not want to jeopardize that.

Hawke went to the kitchen and began fussing with wine bottles and glasses. As she did so, she replayed the conversation she had with Orana in her mind. She tried to forget about all the gritty details of the dungeon and the claw marks, and concentrated on Vasilia's description of the ritual: _Several men were in the room, all tearing into his flesh with knives. As one would open his skin, another would place some kind of clamp inside the wound to hold it open, and her father poured something into him._

Hawke closed her eyes and pushed the image out of her mind. After a few deep breaths to stop the tears from falling, she carried the wine and glasses into the library. She set them on the table and went to her books as Varric began pouring drinks for everyone. "You're thinking something aren't you," Isabela said as she observed Hawke opening and closing a few books.

She returned to the table with her herbalist book and opened the page to lyrium potions. "It doesn't matter how powerful Danarius is, he's still human," Hawke began explaining her theory to the group. "He couldn't touch raw lyrium any more than we could; present dwarf excluded." Varric nodded, confirming the statement. "The closest he'd be able to handle is lyrium dust." She paused to make sure everyone was still following her.

"Fascinating how your mind works," Zevran chimed in. "You are thinking some kind of potion then?"

Hawke smiled. "Exactly. Lyrium potions take a bunch of ingredients," she pointed to it in the book, placing the pages in the middle of the table for everyone to see. "Besides the lyrium dust, you need Heatherum and Foxite for the concentrator agent, and then those rare bulbs from the Frostback Mountains for the distillation agent, though oddly the book doesn't give the names of those bulbs."

Zevran's eyes widened. "I know what you speak of! I have seen surface dwarves gathering small round plants outside Orzammar. They come in three different colors but are of the same size and shape, and they charge a fortune for them. Unfortunate for me and my poisons I must admit."

"Sounds like the ones," Hawke agreed. "I think whatever combination of ingredients the markings are made of, it would have to be a liquid. They are too smooth and clean to be powder...that stuff would be spotty or clumpy."

"Clumpy?" Fenris repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean," Hawke laughed, thankful Fenris didn't seem uncomfortable about the discussion. "If Danarius was able to handle it, and Fenris and Arielle are able to draw power from it, and we're always around Fenris, what would make Arielle's markings so dangerous?"

The group around the table considered Hawke's evidence. "Bartrand did only lose it because of the idol..." Varric stated.

"And Meredith is slowly losing it because pieces of the idol are in her sword," Isabela offered.

"Exactly," Hawke agreed, sitting back in her chair triumphantly. "All pieces of the hardened raw red lyrium we're dealing with, just like the dwarves that removed it all from the Deep Roads. I hate to put it this way, but it seems the markings you two have is a watered down version of the bad stuff."

Fenris observed the others. "Then you feel Arielle poses no danger?"

Hawke shrugged. "It's just a theory. I'm guessing we'll know more when Anders finishes the book." Fenris nodded in agreement but said nothing as he pulled the herbalist book towards him and began reading up on the different potencies of lyrium potions and their ingredients.

"Now that you have settled that mystery," Zevran said with a gleam in his eye, "I have yet another for you to deduce." He placed the note he stole from Orsino's office on the table. "Twenty silvers to the one who guesses where I found this little beauty."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Arielle sat on the floor by his desk, glancing over the pages strewn about. She had looked upon them once before, unable to read them but enjoying the lines and beauty of the script. The ink flowed in loops and circles and random dots, as if a piece of art. The first line of each page was always so neat, so gentle, and as the lines continued down the parchment they seemed to have a rhythm of their own, moving quicker, less delicate and more intense. By the end of the page the gentleness was gone and the words seemed almost chaotic.

Now these works of art were tossed aside, uncared for, unthought of, as the man sitting at the desk above her concentrated on something else. She had sat there for a while, watching him as he poured over Danarius' book, coming upon the last pages. A few times he'd slam his hand on the desk, startling her, and then reach down and caress her cheek in apology. Other times he would sigh, or close his eyes and shake his head. He hadn't shared much with her yet, but just seeing the rainbow of emotions he was going through while studying the tome made her a bit uneasy.

When he took a moment to rest his face in his hands, Arielle spoke to him. "Anders?"

He looked down at her on the floor, legs crossed and covered in his manifesto. "What is it love?"

"What is all this," she asked.

He got up from his position and settled next to her on the floor, taking a few pages from her lap. He read them silently, remembering when he wrote them, the combined passion of his thoughts and Justice on the pages. "It started off as a place to write down my arguments. To convince people that the circle was abusive and unjust. I believe that a mage's gift is granted by the Maker."

"What does this one say," Arielle asked, handing him the one she had studied the longest.

Anders took it from her and read it out loud. "Andraste suffered at the hands of magisters, thus she feared the influence of magic. But if the Maker blamed magic for the magisters actions in the Black City, why would he still gift us with it? The oppression of mages stems from the fear of men, _not_ the will of the Maker."*

Arielle leaned into him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She picked up the page again trying to match the delicate lines with his words. "Why are these carelessly tossed to the floor? Do you not believe your own words anymore?"

Anders kissed the top of her head. "I still believe them," he told her, "but I guess my passion is currently elsewhere." He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face to his, leaning down to meet her lips with his own. She opened her mouth for him, allowing the soft tender flicks of his tongue to invade her, and her body suddenly ached for him.

Arielle tossed his words aside and wrapped her arms around his neck, inhaling the scent of him as their kisses turned from sweet pecks to a ravenous need. His hands were tangled in her hair as he pressed into her, lips swelling under the pressure from the both of them. Anders felt his own body reacting to the intensity of their tongues together, lungs struggling for air. He pulled away before it overwhelmed him, afraid that at any moment he may reach the point where he can't stop. "Arielle," he questioned breathlessly.

Her lips were red and moist, her chest rising and falling in quick breaths, and there was a clear look in her eyes. "Anders," she whispered his name, in the way that set his groin immediately aflame with need. "_Please_," she begged and allowed permission at the same time.

Instantly he was on top of her, pushing her down on to the soft blanket the forgotten manifesto created on the floor, and his body took what it had been craving for weeks. Intimacy was tossed aside for overwhelming desire, a buildup of lust out of control. No time for a proper undressing; his robe was pulled up to his chest and her pants dropped to her ankles, and then he pushed into her with ease as she was ready for him. She kept their connection limited; this time she wanted to enjoy feeling him and only him, and Anders didn't seem to mind.

Each thrust was met with gasps and moans, every taunting kiss resulted in a faster pace, until their movements were near violent with desperation. Anders managed her shirt up far enough to sink his teeth on to raised pink peaks, the pain most pleasurable to her, causing Arielle to cry out as her body clamped down around him within her core. The feel of her muscles tightening brought him to his climax, and Anders released inside her with shocking force. He collapsed on top of her, beads of sweat leaving his forehead and falling on to the vellum beneath her.

Much later, when he would help her up to take a bath, he would spend a good hour getting ink off her back.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Isn't that...the Warden seal?" Hawke asked eyeing the parchment in her hands.

"How very observant," Zevran said, kneeling on his chair and leaning onto the table. "It is short and not so sweet but very exciting."

Hawke read the words several times before handing it to Fenris, and she rubbed her temples to stave off the incoming headache. Fenris studied it for a time but remained silent, waiting for Hawke to comment. "Do I even want to know how you came across this," Hawke asked Zevran.

"No, I don't suppose you do," he replied with his mischievous smile. "Perhaps it goes without saying, but the Wardens seem to keep coming up in places you least expect them." Varric had filled the two rogues in on what happened in the Deep Roads, hoping Zevran's knowledge of traveling with the Wardens would help them in some way. Zevran could come up with little to assist them, but had already sent out several messages of his own to see what he could find out.

"So," Isabela addressed the unspoken uneasiness in the room, "this 'friend' being Danarius already has an escape plan from the Wardens, by a Warden, and the recipient of this letter is now continuing with some unknown plan to what, start a war?"

Hawke shook her head. "We need to know more. I assume this came from Orsino's office?"

Zevran's eyes lit up. "Deliciously brilliant as well as beautiful. A fine specimen of a woman you have my friend," he said towards Fenris. "Isabela would probably be better suited to tell you how a treasure such as this happened to fall into my hands."

All eyes were on the pirate as she shrugged. "What? It's no big deal really. I can have eyes and ears in this city as much as Varric can, right?"

Varric snorted, doubting Isabela had nearly as many as the hundreds of people he knew in every corner of Kirkwall, from Hightown to Lowtown, to the docks and beyond, on the outskirts of town, to the underground sewers, a few nobles pockets, several guilds named and unnamed, this faction and that, shit, even the rats that roamed the streets could tell him something...

"Alright fine," she caved as Varric counted them all in his head. "I may have...done something for Sol that he owes me for. I mean he's right there in front of Templar Hall; who better to know the comings and goings of the place? Any messengers that go in and out, he tells me."

Pairs of eyes remained fixated on her, and she knew they were now picturing her bedding the herbalist. "Andraste's ass, I didn't _sleep_ with him! What kind of woman do you think I am?" Zevran opened his mouth to reply and she shot him a glance that warned him: any word out of his mouth and their fun was over. "The real question is, what are you going to do with this information?"

"What can we do," Hawke asked, "except continue to gather information and wait and see what happens. Make sure Sol continues to keep an eye out, though this letter states there won't be any further contact. Maybe strange visitors, or his schedule, something to go on. I don't trust him."

"What about the Wardens Hawke," Varric wondered. "Bianca twitches at the thought of them."

"A step ahead of you there Varric," Hawke informed them. "As soon as I know, you'll know. Until then, fill in the others when you see them. Fenris and I will talk to Anders and Arielle. Get word out to whoever you can. If anything out of the ordinary happens in this city, I want to know about it."

As the others filtered out, Hawke waited until she heard the front door close before addressing Fenris. "Alright, it's just us now. Out with it."

Fenris raised an eyebrow as he grabbed the bottle of wine and drank from it now that their companions were gone. "I could say the same to you," he shot back at her as he handed her the bottle. He watched her take a long sip of the red wine and set the bottle down, and then laid her head on the table. He leaned over and brushed the hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "Hawke," he said her name in that familiar tone that questioned what she was thinking.

She watched him as his hand pulled away from her, missing his touch the instant he moved. "Are you worried about Danarius," she dared to ask, wondering what was on his mind after reading the letter from Janeka.

He shrugged, leaning back in his seat. "No more or less than two weeks ago," Fenris stated. For him, the possibility of Danarius' return had never increased or decreased. It remained the same; knowing where he was or seeing him made no difference. The fact that he lived meant at any time, any place, he could be there. Fenris was used to that.

Hawke lifted her head in surprise. "Really? You're alright with this?"

"I am not _alright_ with it Hawke," Fenris advised her, "but it is beyond our control at the moment. Instead I would prefer to undo as much as possible that he has done." He stood, extending his hand to her. "That _is_ within my control, and I wish to do it soon."

Hawke accepted his hand and they left the estate to go to Darktown. There Anders was working on the key to unblocking Fenris' memories, something Hawke and he had discussed the night before. Hawke stated she would not support him until she knew exactly what was involved and what the repercussions may be. Fenris agreed to not make any decisions without her. Unlocking the past was something they would both have to face together she had told him, and her support was more than he could ask for.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: *Excerpt from Anders' actual manifesto._**


	40. Decisions

Hawke and Fenris arrived in Darktown shortly after their meeting with the rogues. As they approached the clinic, Hawke noticed that, for the first time since she had met Anders, the lanterns above the doors were not lit. An odd feeling crept into her stomach; this just wasn't right. He was always available, at least when she'd visited, and now she wondered if they weren't lit when he was traveling with her?

Fenris looked at her curiously, wondering what had puzzled her, but Hawke smiled reassuringly at him and continued up the stairs and knocked on the door. They heard the door being unlocked from the inside and then were greeted by Damen, who allowed them entrance. "He is expecting you," Damen said with a bow before exiting through the door they came in. "Tell him I'll be right outside if he needs me."

Hawke nodded as he closed the door and walked with Fenris towards the back of the room where Anders was writing at his desk. Arielle was seated next to him, hair still wet from her bath. She smiled at the couple as they came closer.

"Your assistant said he'd be outside," Hawke told Anders as she and Fenris sat on a small bench in front of his desk.

Anders finished writing something before welcoming them. "Sorry," he apologized. "Damen, yes, he's been informing patients that I have been unavailable and only allowing the extreme emergencies to come through."

"He isn't sleeping," Arielle added, scolding Anders in front of his friends.

Hawke looked at Anders with concern, now noticing the exhaustion in his face. Anders waved it off. "I will, tonight in fact, now that I've translated what I believe to be the more important sections of the book." He handed the page he had written on to Hawke. "That is the list of everything I have been able to decipher so far," Anders explained.

Hawke handed him the letters from Gertek and Janeka. "I'll trade you," she said as she began reading the parchment. After several seconds, she looked up at him. "Uhm, Anders?"

"Yes?"

Hawke grinned. "This is a page from your manifesto. I know because I have at least twelve copies of it at the estate."

A small smile crept up upon his lips. "Turn it over," he advised her. "I ran out of vellum and reached for whatever was on hand at the time."

Fenris shook his head as Hawke turned the paper over and began reading the list of subjects Anders had uncovered in Danarius' book, along with the notes he had made on them:

_Recipes for different forms of Lyrium ~ nothing new here_  
><em>Ritual for initial "test subject" ~ Fenris?<em>  
><em>Magister meeting notes ~ coded, decipherable word Qunari<em>  
><em>City golems ~ control instructions without rod<em>  
><em>Family matters ~ coded<em>  
><em>Mind and behavior manipulation ~ blood magic<em>  
><em>Ritual for primevil test subjects 1-7 ~ failed!<em>  
><em>Corrected ritual for test subject 8 ~ Arielle?<em>  
><em>Ritual recipe for memory restoral ~ Dragon's Blood<em>  
><em>List of names ~ Dwarven? Varric<em>  
><em>Several entries refer to another book - Wardens confiscated<em>

"Anders," Hawke said after reading and rereading the list, "this is..."

"Highly disturbing," Anders completed her sentence, finishing the two letters he had read. "I don't know what to make of any of it. The Wardens alone..."

"Have their hand in every problem we are currently facing," Hawke concluded. She thought for a moment on what they knew, what they had speculated, and what was still unknown. "Again we have more questions than answers."

"For some of it," Anders offered. "But for right now, we should focus on the task at hand. Have you decided on whether or not you wish to attempt unblocking your memories?" he asked Fenris.

Fenris looked at Hawke before responding, "Hawke wishes to discuss the risks before a decision is made. If it involves blood magic in any form, the answer is no."

"No blood magic," Anders confirmed for them. "It is surprisingly fairly easy to accomplish, except for an ingredient I need for the potion that I don't have here. As far as the risks involved, we think we have figured out a way to make it as painless as possible."

Hawke reviewed the list again. "You really need the blood of a dragon to accomplish this? And 'we'? What do you mean 'we'?"

Anders explained what he and Arielle had discussed when he first found the reversal ritual. "The flood of the memories may be traumatic at first; you will remember everything. Whatever memories you had before the ritual as well as the ritual itself. I know the last time something similar happened, it was...overwhelming for you."

Fenris shifted uncomfortably but nodded his confirmation. He wasn't aware Anders knew what happened that night, and glanced at Hawke. The expression on her face explained everything; she had told Anders. What he didn't know, was if it was since they had gotten together again, or if it was sometime during the months they barely spoke.

Anders seemed to be aware of his thoughts but remained silent, allowing Hawke to talk to Fenris about it at a later time. "We," he looked to Arielle and then back at Hawke and Fenris, "believe that if Arielle keeps a projection of calm focused on you, that it may help lessen the initial impact. You should be able to accept them for what they are, memories, without the flood of emotions."

Hawke looked at Arielle. "What will that do to you?" Hawke asked her, not quite sure she liked what she was hearing.

"Anders and I have already begun working on blocking my mind," she explained. "Once the spell is cast, Anders and I will connect and he will assist in keeping Fenris' emotions from me as I project to him. We don't think I'll have any reaction to it."

"And when it's your turn?" Hawke asked. "No one will be able to do that for you. How will you handle that?"

Anders reached for her hand under the desk and she smiled at him. "I am not going to do it."

Hawke turned to Fenris who didn't seem surprised. So he already knew her decision. "May I ask why?"

Arielle shrugged. "I know enough to know I don't want to know, if that makes any sense."

For the first time since Hawke had met the woman, she found herself admiring her strength and wisdom. When Fenris had initially told her there was a possibility that both their memories could be restored, she was frightened Arielle would jump at the chance to recall her life before. But when Hawke thought on everything Arielle truly did know; her father's brutal assault to her flesh, the isolated way she grew up as told by Varania, it made sense. She had some of her own memories she wished she could erase permanently.

Her own hand reached for Fenris. "You still wish to do this?"

Fenris placed her hand between both of his. "To be able to be with you with no fear of my past coming between us again? I want nothing more." And he meant it when he put it that way to her, without care that Anders and Arielle were witness to his confession. The two times they had been together intimately, flashes of his life before interfered. It's what kept him from doing so again, despite her many advances since he moved into the estate. "I want you Hawke," he reminded her, "and not as the broken slave you have had before, but as the whole man you deserve."

There was no fighting the tears in her eyes when he finished speaking. She squeezed his hand and turned to Anders. "How soon can we do this?"

Arielle seemed moved by Fenris' statement as well, and even Anders had a hard time speaking with the lump in his throat. "All we need is the blood."

"Tomorrow then," Hawke stated as she stood, wanting to get Fenris home and this day over with as soon as possible.

Anders and Arielle walked them to the door, and Hawke stopped to hug the both of them. As she embraced Arielle, who returned it a bit awkwardly, Hawke whispered in her ear, "thank you." Hawke's emotions ran wild with appreciation and relief at knowing Arielle would not attempt to rekindle any old relationship with Fenris.

Arielle felt herself tear up as she responded, saying goodbye to Leto yet again. "Take care of him," she whispered.

Behind the hugging women, Fenris extended his hand to Anders. "I owe you a great deal," Fenris stated.

Anders clasped Fenris' hand. "As do I," Anders said.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: A link to a picture of the "list" Anders hands Hawke can be found on my profile.**_


	41. The Bone Pit

They stopped by the Hanged Man and requested Varric join them in the morning. Hawke was still going through ideas in her head - where they could find a dragon? They had encountered a few in the past, but to actively search for one may be tricky. Then there was also the matter of killing the dragon; something she wasn't looking forward to.

Fenris was quiet for most of their traveling that evening, and when they finally returned to the estate, he excused himself to take a bath. Hawke let him have his time; it was a big decision they had just made, and the anticipation weighed on them both. Hawke was still trying to decide if she should tell him what she had learned from Orana; it was a piece of his past that he would no doubt remember, and maybe if he had some warning it wouldn't be as bad.

Bodahn advised her that a new stack of letters had arrived and they were on her desk as usual. Hawke took them and went upstairs, dropping the stack on the bed as she changed into more casual attire. She started a fire in the fireplace and then returned to her bed, sorting through the day's messages.

The first one she came across piqued her curiosity. It came from the Seneschals office and Hawke broke the seal quickly and began reading. Enclosed was the deed to the Bone Pit, as well as a note from Hubert:

_Champion,_

_We are ruined my friend! The mine's have been overrun by dragons! All workers have fled or been killed and our equipment destroyed! I leave this cursed land to you; I have lost enough of my coin in the filthy pit!_

Hawke shook her head and placed the letter aside to show Fenris. Luck that a dragon just dropped into their lap at the cost of so many Fereldens? They had cleaned out all the dragons there, hadn't they? She tried not to think about it for now as she went through the rest of the messages. Useless invitations, requests for donations, someone selling a bridge outside the city, and then the last one she came across was the one she had been waiting for. She was careful not to rip into it with anticipation, breaking the seal with no symbol. It didn't need one, she knew who it was from:

_A meeting has been arranged; time and location will be sent separately. You are correct; I am concerned. I will do whatever I can to aid you. Until then, may the Maker watch over you._

"I assume from your expression this is good news?" Fenris asked, exiting the bathing room and moving towards the bed.

Hawke nodded. "In one hand, I have found our dragon and apparently am now the proud owner of the Bone Pit," she chuckled. "And in the other? My request for a meeting has been approved."

Fenris sat on the edge of the bed and perused the two notes she held out for him. "The Bone Pit used to be controlled by the Tevinter Imperium," Fenris informed her.

"A little far out of their territory, isn't it?" Hawke asked curiously.

Fenris nodded. "The Imperium used to cover as far south as Ferelden and as far east as Rivain. Danarius had a large map of the old Imperium in his study; 'one day we will have it all again,' he'd say."

Hawke smiled. "Then I'm glad I own it. If only to prevent him from doing so."

Fenris read the other letter; brief and to the point, but that held more than it actually said. "Are you certain you want to go through with this?" Fenris asked her while handing the letters back to her.

"The meeting? Oh yes," Hawke responded, taking the letters and placing them on the table near her bed. "I can't believe you aren't more excited about it. Don't you want to go? Find out some answers?"

Fenris shrugged. "Whenever we think we have answers, we only end up with more questions. I will go with you, however."

Hawke nodded, "Of course you will. But we have a while before that happens. Tomorrow, we slay dragons!"

Fenris laughed at her excitement. "You are enjoying this, aren't you?" he asked.

"I want for us to be together," Hawke's tone turned serious. "I'd slay an Archdemon if it helped accomplish that."

Fenris grinned, taking her hand and kissing her knuckle. "A thoughtful gesture, but not possible or necessary." He leaned in closer to her and brought a hand to her face. "Thank you Hawke," he said just as serious as she had been. "I could not have done this on my own."

Hawke relaxed under his touch and closed her eyes as his thumb gently caressed her cheek. She wanted to believe that they would always be like this, that even after he had all of his memories he would still wish to be with her. Yet there was a small doubt buried in the back of her mind that continued to worry his feelings for Vasilia would only become stronger and that he may wish to explore his past. The thought caused a frown upon her face, which he noticed immediately.

"Hawke," Fenris said sternly, forcing her to open her eyes and look at him. "What is it?"

She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but concern there. They had been over this before, and she didn't want to keep rehashing the issue, but fear of the unknown was difficult to deal with. "Excited as well as nervous," Hawke replied honestly. "It's more than memories Fenris." Even though Arielle was with Anders, even though she's given her blessing to Hawke hours ago, there was always the possibility that something could go wrong. What if Arielle felt how Fenris loved her when he remembered? What if Arielle started getting her memories back over time, or if seeing Fenris successfully regain his memories she changed her mind and wanted to do it as well?

Hawke nearly drove herself into a frenzy of thoughts and doubts until Fenris moved closer and demanded a kiss from her with the force of his lips upon hers. He held on to the back of her head and drove his tongue into her mouth with little care of her initial resistance. He devoured her warmth as if he starved for her, and she melted into him. When he pulled away she was left breathless, and a stern look came over his face. "You will not lose me," he reminded her.

"I'm still so full of doubt Fenris," she said teasingly. "I think you need to convince me some more."

He laughed at her false sincerity. "Another time perhaps," Fenris said as he stood. "I believe I am still under punishment for making you believe I was leaving town?"

Hawke sighed. "That was forever ago," she stated. "And I believe I have punished you enough for that, haven't I?" Hawke had spent that night and every night since wandering around the upstairs in little to no clothing, pretending she was sleepwalking into the guest room. Fenris had carried her back to her room like a gentleman, refusing to take advantage of her false weakness. While she was initially upset with him, she realized her plan was backfiring on her miserably, as he remained in the guest room and had barely touched her since moving into the estate.

"I believe so," Fenris replied, unable to resist the pouted lips she was exaggerating for him. He leaned down to her and devoured her mouth once again.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Isabela and Zevran circled their prey, the intensity of their gaze enough to scare anyone that was watching. Both had their weapons out at the ready, prepared to strike at any moment. Zevran's steps were slow and steady as he moved, Isabela's a bit more speedy with anticipation. They were both ready to pounce on their victim, moving closer and closer until they were almost within reach.

Merrill squealed from the anticipation, turning away from the rogues and facing Sebastian who laughed at her. "It's alright Merrill," he tried to comfort her. "They know what they are doing."

"I know," Merrill replied, still refusing to turn around. "I just can't watch. It's making me itchy."

Isabela smiled as she continued her dance. "Oh Kitten don't worry, we have this under control," she said, striking at her target a split second later.

The target moved out of the way of the incoming blade, leaping backwards and then ducking as Zevran's blade nearly landed a blow to the head. The target rolled forward between the two and came up behind them, blades out and ready to strike. She nearly did so, until Zevran's hearty laugh distracted her. "Okay, you win," he said wiping the sweat from his forehead. "I can not best you when you cheat."

Isabela pouted as well. "You need to turn off that...that thing you do...and play fair," she demanded, wiping her upper lip from the beaded sweat that had formed there. "We both would've had you."

Arielle smiled and handed the daggers back to Isabela. "Fenris said it is not cheating if I use the skills I am given," she said smiling to both rogues as she accepted the water Sebastian handed her. "And I know you aren't really coming after me, so it's still not a fair fight anyway."

"That's because Fenris would kill them if any harm fell to you," Sebastian stated as they moved towards the shade of the courtyard. Since their return from the Deep Roads, Arielle had been training with the rogues a few hours each day. She had asked Fenris to train her at first, but he suggested she begin with Isabela. Zevran was recruited by the pirate to assist, and now Arielle was fairly skilled at daggers thanks to the both of them. She could never take them down on her own, but she knew enough to defend herself without resorting to her markings.

Anders had gone to the Bone Pit with Hawke, Fenris, and Varric, so Arielle wanted to get a little more practice time in. They had been at it all morning, and Isabela and Zevran seemed to be in the mood for something other than practicing. "There's nothing like some great scrapping to get you in the mood," she had said, giving Zevran a wink.

"In the mood for what?" Merrill had asked, and Sebastian offered to show her the Chantry gardens before Isabela could explain it to her.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"Maker's breath what's that smell?" Hawke said as they approached the Bone Pit. The smoke from the fire had warned them a while ago that they would be coming upon some destruction, but the overwhelming smell now had them all moving cautiously. As they rounded the cliff and began to see the charred bodies, Hawke took a moment to calm herself. "I sent them all here," she remembered. "How much of this is my fault?"

Varric shook his head. "No blaming yourself Hawke, they all worked and got paid better than before you became involved. Let's just do what we need to do and get out of here."

Hawke wasn't convinced with his argument, but Fenris' arm coming around her waist seemed to calm her. "We should move on," he said to her, moving her away from the bodies.

Anders looked around the area at the damage. "It certainly looks like a dragon has been here, but where is he now I wonder?"

They all spread out a bit and began looking towards the higher cliffs, until Varric finally spotted what they were looking for. "Anyone bring their dragon whistle?" The others moved towards him and followed his gaze. A High Dragon, perched up on one of the cliffs, seemed to be sleeping and took no notice of them.

Hawke moved closer to the edge to get a better look at the dragon. "He's directly in front of one of the exits of the mine. If we enter the mine we should be able to sneak up on him."

"And if he takes flight?" Fenris questioned.

"We run back down?" Hawke asked sheepishly. "Come on, we'll work on a plan on the way. It'll take some time to get through the mine."

They climbed the western cliff to the mine entrance, stepping over more corpses and avoiding fires that were still burning. Fenris held on to Hawke the entire time, hoping that his presence would ease some of her guilt for now.

Upon entering the mine they discovered more bodies, only these seemed different than the ones outside. "How did they die in here?" Hawke questioned the party. "There is no way that dragon made it through that small entrance."

Anders inspected one of the corpses. "These are not mine workers," he told them. "This one was a mage. He's wearing the Vestments of Sacrifice; similar to the ones Grey Wardens wore during the second Blight. I had one myself once. Got it at Vigil's Keep."

Hawke knelt down beside Anders. "Those are knife wounds," she said peeling back the robes to examine the chest. "This man was murdered."

"Hawke," Varric called from a few feet away. "Another over here," he said standing over the body of another man. "Doesn't even look dirty enough to have been down here for long."

"He wears a griffon feather belt," Anders informed them. "That is crafted especially for the Wardens."

"Are you saying these were both Grey Wardens?" Hawke asked.

Anders nodded, taking a closer look at the wounds on this body as well. "These aren't that old Hawke," he told her. "Whoever did this must have left shortly before we arrived."

"Or they are still here," Fenris snarled, taking his weapon in hand. The others followed his lead and began moving further into the mine. Varric searched the ground for tracks, but couldn't find any that made sense. The ground had been trampled several times over from workers, Wardens, who knows what else.

He stopped the group short when he came upon a trap. "Careful, someone left a surprise for us," he said crouching down to disable the small trap.

An uneasy feeling came over Hawke, and she motioned for the others to be quiet. The sound of a rock being kicked around a corner snapped them all to attention, and suddenly the air in the enclosed space shifted. The corpses they had just stepped over became alive, rising from the ground and moving towards them. Fenris spun around and attacked the first deceased Warden as it stumbled towards the group, and Hawke dove for the second as Anders and Varric got some distance for ranged support.

As they battled the two corpses, skeletons began joining the fray, and Hawke shouted to her companions. "Where's the blighted mage?"

Varric ran around the corner and spotted the one responsible for raising the dead. He aimed Bianca at the mage. "I wouldn't if I were you," he warned as she began to cast a spell. His words were too late however, as Anders shouted for him right before a skeleton attacked him from behind. Varric spun around to face his attacker as the blood mage ran past the group towards the entrance.

"Anders!" Hawke shouted, hoping he could stop the mage before she got free. While the others tackled the corpses and skeletons, Anders threw a glyph of paralysis in the mage's direction. She was stuck instantly, drawing her dagger across her skin in an attempt to free herself from its grasp. Before she could complete her spell however, Anders cast a frost spell to keep her from moving.

When the fighting was over Hawke approached the blood mage, taking the knife out of her hand as Anders released the spells. "What are you doing here?" Hawke questioned. "Why did you attack us?"

The mage seemed afraid of the group. "I didn't want to die like they did," she said motioning to the corpses on the ground. "I just wanted to get out of here."

"What were you doing here?" Hawke questioned again.

"I've hidden here for a while now, came from the Starkhaven circle," the mage explained. "The miners found me and were taking care of me, letting me stay here and feeding me. After the dragon attacked outside I hid. Then this morning a bunch of men came in."

"Go on," Hawke encouraged.

"Those two," she pointed at the corpses, "came first, and started gathering drakestone. Another group came in right after the first and killed them, then stole the drakestone for themselves and ran out. I hid in the shadows as best I could; neither group seemed very friendly."

Hawke turned to Anders who was slowly approaching the mage. He reached for an amulet that she was wearing, and ripped it off her neck. "Anders!" Hawke scolded him, but he wasn't paying any attention to her.

"This necklace," Anders whispered. "Where did you get it?"

The mage seemed genuinely afraid of Anders as she replied. "I...I found it, on one of their bodies," she told him. "I felt magic on it...powerful runes..."

Anders turned the amulet over in his hand, and walked away from the mage seemingly lost in thought. Hawke nodded to Varric and Fenris to watch the blood mage as she moved towards Anders. "What is it?" she questioned him.

"Wardens are given amulets like this after their Joining," he explained to her. "It's called the Warden's Oath. But this one is enchanted and has an inscription on the back. Two sets of initials. There is only one like it."

Hawke turned to study his expression. "I take it you know who this belongs to?"

Anders nodded. "An old friend of mine. You'd know her best as the Hero of Ferelden."


	42. Best Laid Plans

The blood mage from Starkhaven was secured at the cliff entrance by Varric and Anders and then the four set out to kill a dragon. No small feat for the seasoned combatants; the dragon gave as much as it got. Fenris felt his heart clench twice as Hawke pulled amazing stunts to carve through its wings to keep it from flight, and then they battled the beast until it expelled its last fire breath. Several wounds were healed by Anders as their entire potion supply was consumed in the battle. It lasted only minutes, but they all felt a year older when the monster finally collapsed.

Anders retrieved the necessary ingredients from the dragon as the others untied the blood mage. On the way back to Kirkwall, Hawke learned the mage's name was Eileen, and she was once friends with Grace and Decimus. Eileen confirmed that it was Decimus who started the fire at the Circle in Starkhaven, allowing for their escape. Tired of running and hiding, and clearly outnumbered and overpowered, Eileen agreed to be taken to Kirkwall.

To Hawke's surprise, Anders didn't argue with taking Eileen to the Gallows. It was clear his thoughts were elsewhere as he continued to study the Warden's Oath amulet. The mystery behind finding the amulet at the Bone Pit would remain such, as there were no Warden survivors in the mines. Anders confirmed that none of the corpses were the amulet's owner, but he stated there was no way the Hero of Ferelden would've parted with it willingly. One more unanswered question added to the list.

They arrived back in Kirkwall just before dusk and headed straight for the Gallows; all except Anders, who decided returning to the clinic was a better idea rather than assist in handing over a mage to the templars. Hawke began to approach Cullen to fill him in on Eileen's situation, but was stopped as Isabela came running towards her.

"You're back!"

Hawke smiled at her friend. "We are indeed. And in one piece, well, more or less." She looked over Isabela's shoulder at Solivitus in the distance eyeing the both of them. "What are you doing here? Has something happened?"

Isabela raised an eyebrow. "Some mercenaries came through a few hours ago and disappeared up the stairs. They came back out and went right to Sol, trying to sell him some extra ingredients they had on hand."

"Really," Hawke said folding her arms across her chest. "Any idea what they were selling?"

"Who cares," Isabela shrugged. "The better question is who is hiring mercenaries to do their dirty work in the Gallows?"

Hawke laughed at her passion for the mystery. "Thank you Isabela, we'll meet up with you later. I have a mage delivery to make."

Isabela took a peek at Eileen shifting uncomfortably between Varric and Fenris. "Oh she's delicious Hawke, do you have to?"

"Blood mage," Hawke said to the pirate in a whisper. "Sorry, you can't play with her."

"Spoilsport," Isabela huffed as she moved past Hawke and the others exiting the Gallows.

Hawke motioned for her friends to wait at the stairs as she searched for Cullen. In his usual position near the stairs, she moved towards him quickly in the hopes she didn't draw too much attention to herself. Though they had worked together in the past and were somewhat friends, Hawke needed to speak with him privately before handing over Eileen.

"Champion," Cullen greeted Hawke as she approached him.

"Hello Ser Cullen," Hawke smiled at the Knight-Captain. "Might I have a word alone for a moment?"

Cullen nodded and gestured for them to move to a small alcove near the courtyard. "What would you have of me?" he asked.

"I recently came across another of the Starkhaven mages," Hawke stated quietly. "I bring her to you but I require a favor."

Cullen gave her a curious glance. "I can offer no guarantees Hawke, but of course you may ask."

"I know the templar policy on blood mages," Hawke stated softly. "I ask that you give her a chance first to redeem herself. She was very alone and frightened when we found her..."

Cullen sighed and turned away from her. "You ask a lot of me Champion."

Hawke moved in front of him. "I know," she whispered softly. "I wouldn't normally ask, but there's been so much bloodshed lately."

Cullen looked up at her and his eyes softened in resolve. "I will keep an eye on her," he stated, "but I will not inform the others of what you have told me."

Hawke smiled in relief. "Thank you," she said earnestly.

"It is not without a price however," Cullen stated, surprising her. He took a quick glance at their surroundings before continuing. "Numerous mages have left the Gallows at night, sometimes for days at a time," he informed her. "I've already confronted the First Enchanter on the matter, but he denies having any knowledge of such an occurrence."

Hawke was surprised. "Why haven't you reported this to the Knight Commander?"

Cullen appeared nervous. "I have seen madness before. The Knight Commander...she is not there yet, but I do not have to ask where the rumors come from. I fear going to her with this, what her actions will be if she finds out."

Hawke eyed him suspiciously. "There's more to it than that..."

Cullen looked away from her. "Meredith would have you believe blood magic is involved," he told her, "but I fear it's almost worse than that. Several templars have done the very same; slipping out of the Gallows at night. And for these mages to come and go so freely..."

"You believe some of your own men are assisting them," Hawke concluded.

"Yes," Cullen said solemnly. "I have managed to discover that there is a meeting in Hightown tomorrow night. I can not confront them on my own, not without informing the Knight Commander."

"You wish me to check this out for you," Hawke stated.

Cullen met her stare, his eyes pleading for her help. "You have so far remained neutral in this brewing war between the templars and the mages. If indeed some of them are joining forces in the dark, they'd be more inclined to speak with you. For the safety of this city I need to know what they intend on doing, what the purpose of their meetings are for."

Hawke nodded, needing no further convincing. She placed her hand on his arm. "I give you my word; I will help you in this. I don't want to see any harm come to those that don't deserve it."

Cullen closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you Champion."

They returned to the courtyard and met up with the others, Cullen taking Eileen and escorting her through the Gallows. As they walked away, Varric asked, "problem Hawke?"

Hawke smiled at the dwarf as she moved towards the boat landing before replying. "Just the usual Varric. Getting into all kinds of trouble."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders sat on his bed in the clinic dangling the amulet from his wrist. The light from the lanterns illuminated the liquid inside as he nearly entranced himself staring as it swung back and forth. He felt Arielle return before he heard the door open, and heard her say goodnight to Zevran before securing the door. As she rounded the corner to the backroom she smiled at him briefly before noticing the condition of his clothes. "Rough day?"

Anders looked up at her and grinned. "Long day," he nodded as he moved over for her to sit next to him. The old cot creaked under her weight as she settled beside him. She looked at the necklace in his hands and gasped. "Is that blood?" she asked.

He nodded. "It's darkspawn blood," he explained. "When a Warden undergoes the Joining, it's tradition to place some of the blood we consume in a pendant to remember those that didn't make it." He turned the amulet to show her the initials. "These are the initials of the two that didn't survive."

"I'm sorry," Arielle offered.

"It's not mine," he informed her. "We only lost one at my Joining. This belongs to a friend of mine. It was found on a Warden corpse in the mine." He allowed her to hold it when she reached for it, and continued as she studied the dark substance within the clear vile. "I can't imagine she would ever give it up willingly."

Arielle shrugged as she handed it back to him. "Maybe one of them was keeping it safe for her."

Anders nodded, placing the amulet on the side table before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead. "How about your day? Did you get hurt at all?"

"Injury free," Arielle said proudly of herself. "Isabela scolded me for using my abilities though."

Anders smirked. "She's just jealous love," he said squeezing her in the embrace and then nuzzling her neck. "As am I, that she got to spend all day with you," he whispered in her ear.

Arielle leaned back into his chest and brought her arms behind her head, wrapping them around his neck as his arms crossed her chest. He placed small gentle kisses on her ear and behind, sending chills through her body that made the hair on her arms stand at attention. She pushed back into him with a small gasp as he nibbled her earlobe, feeling the now familiar want and need for him begin to stir.

"Anders," she whispered as she tangled her fingers in his hair.

"Yes love," he replied low in her ear, causing her to moan.

"You stink," she said as she pulled away from him and leapt off the bed, running towards the washroom.

His grin was brighter than the sun as he moved to chase her, grabbing her from behind and lifting her in the air. "Put me down," she playfully protested kicking her legs as he bit at the back of her neck.

"I don't smell any roses on _you_ love," he said as he carried her into the room and placed her next to the bathtub. "Do you care to remove your clothing? Or shall I do it for you?"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke decided on the most neutral of her friends to accompany her to the mage/templar meeting in Hightown the next night. Though Fenris wasn't entirely thrilled at being left behind, he understood her reasons for trying to provide a safer environment for these rebels to trust her. The plan was to walk in on the meeting with Varric at her side, while Isabela and Zevran covered them in the shadows just in case things went wrong.

Upon seeing Hawke approach, one of mages immediately shouted a warning. "Someone's coming! The Champion!"

Hawke held her hands up as a sign of peace. "Wait! Hear me out," she pleaded.

An older templar stepped forward. "We know you're spying for Orsino," he stated.

The look of surprise on Hawke's face would've convinced anyone. "What? That's absurd!"

Weapons were drawn and another mage called to the others. "Run! We'll handle this."

Nothing further could be said as fireballs immediately shot through the air in their direction as Hawke and Varric narrowly escaped their flames. Zevran and Isabela came out of nowhere and began assisting in the defense, slicing through those immediately in Varric's vicinity to give Bianca some room to work. Hawke and the others had no choice but to rely on their dexterity without a warrior to handle the brunt of the attack. Shock bombs and acid flasks were thrown for distractions as daggers laced with poisons found their way into the backs of mages and templars alike.

In the aftermath of the battle, Hawke knelt beside the older templar who was the first to go down. She shook her head in despair. "All of this could've been avoided."

Zevran placed a hand on her shoulder. "You did try to warn them my dear. Do not blame yourself for their shortcomings."

Varric joined Hawke and Zevran. "This is not going to look good Hawke," he pointed out. "Meredith will spin this as her templars going after runaway blood mages."

Hawke looked up at Varric. "Should we cover it up then?"

Isabela scoffed, "well that's a silly question. Of course we should."

"I'll go get some help," Varric said as he left the others alone.

The thought of hiding the bodies sickened Hawke, but she knew her friends were right. She gently placed a hand over the older templars eyes, shutting them to give him some final peace.

"Well well," Isabela said from behind them. "Have a look at this Hawke."

Zevran held out his hand to help her stand, and the two of them walked over to the body Isabela had just looted. She handed Hawke a torn note found in the conspirator's pocket:

_...will not tell you again; it's not safe to bring new recruits to our meetings. Meredith has eyes everywhere. Bring anyone who claims to be against her to Gardibali's Warehouse tomorrow night. We must ensure their loyalty, lest Meredith discover us before we are ready to confront her..._

Isabela sighed. "Of course they hold their meetings in a warehouse by the docks. Doesn't anyone go there just to have sex anymore?"

"Besides us you mean," Zevran stated.

Hawke ignored the banter as she reread the note a second time. "We should go check this out," she told them. "I'll meet you at the Hanged Man tomorrow and we'll try to see what these people are planning." She looked at the bodies that surrounded them. "Whatever it is, they were willing to die for it."


	43. The Ritual

The second floor of the Hawke estate basement was cleared out; crates and barrels were removed and the floor was swept. Torches were lit and hung in the center of all four walls. Anders took his time creating a perfect circle with the powder he had created from sage, sandalwood, and lyrium dust. He measured out two footsteps and placed a candle on the powder, continuing along the ring until five candles were of equal distance apart. Arielle held the book open for him as Anders took the dragons blood and replicated the symbols within the circle.

Hawke and Fenris descended the stairs a few minutes later as the final symbol was finished. Hawke walked around it, feeling the chill in the air as the moment grew closer. She had tried to hide her emotions all morning, but seeing the completed circle pushed her fears to the surface. She looked over at Fenris as her own nerves clenched her stomach and wondered what he was feeling.

Fenris didn't say much as Anders explained his part in the ritual. Fenris would enter the circle, free to sit or stand, and allow the magic to do what it needed to do. The only other requirement was his constant connection with an item from his past. "I have nothing from before the ritual," Fenris stated, unsure how Anders thought he'd proceed without it.

Anders looked towards Arielle. Did they mean to use Arielle as this link? Fenris opened his mouth to protest, but stopped when Arielle turned to retrieve a large box from the corner of the room.

Hawke joined Fenris and they walked over Arielle as she knelt to open the box. Hawke could see the reaction in Fenris as Arielle pulled back the cloth.

"Is that..." Fenris paused, not quite certain he was seeing what was in front of him.

Arielle nodded as she stood and offered it to him. "A Blade of Mercy. Not the exact one of course, but Anders believes the power of the memory itself is what's required, and not the actual object."

Fenris took the weapon from her, running his hand along the steel to activate the runes within. "I can not believe you found one so far from the Imperium."

"When Anders read about the requirement for the ritual, I began checking with all the sword smiths in Kirkwall. Finally one turned up, found in some abandoned warehouse by the docks." Arielle saw the confusion on Hawke's face and left them alone for Fenris to explain.

"What's the significance?" Hawke asked him.

Fenris turned to look at her, offering her the blade to examine. "It is a replica of the blade Archon Hessarian used to slay Andraste," he said as she tested the weight in her hands. "Hessarian's wife was Lady Vasilia, and coincidentally it was Vasilia's first gift to me according to Varania."

"Oh," Hawke whispered as she handed the weapon back to Fenris. "A lucky find then."

Fenris brought his hand to her cheek. "I'm sorry..."

Hawke shrugged him off. "Don't be. That's what today is all about right? Getting the past back and moving forward?"

Fenris nodded, kissing her gently before releasing her. "If you do not wish me to go through with this..."

"Shhh," she said pressing a finger to his lips. "We do this. Together."

He nodded and took her hand as they walked back to Anders and Arielle. The door upstairs opened and Fenris stopped moving as he saw Merrill. "I thought I was clear there was to be no blood magic," he said through gritted teeth.

"There won't be," Anders stated as he moved towards the stairs, "but I do require some help." Beyond Merrill was Sebastian, and behind him was Keeper Marethari. "Thank you for coming," he said to her as she entered the room.

Fenris and Hawke both seemed to be surprised at Marethari's arrival. "Keeper Marethari," Hawke approached her. "I wasn't aware you would be helping us."

"Neither was I," the older dalish elf replied. "But you have passionate friends Hawke," she said as she smiled at Merrill, Anders, and Arielle. "I will assist in whatever way I can."

"Thank you," Hawke replied. "And Sebastian? What are you doing here?"

"I asked him here," Fenris told her. "Just in case."

Hawke was about to question what he meant but then she realized that Sebastian was in full armor. He stuck out surrounded by the rest of them in more relaxed attire. Fenris called him here for protection then in case something went wrong. As the strongest of the group, he'd have the most success restraining Fenris should things get out of hand. The thought sent a chill up her spine, but her love for Fenris' need to protect them even from himself warmed her heart. "Thank you," she said as she hugged Sebastian. "Though I hope you have wasted time coming here."

"As do I," Sebastian responded.

"Are you ready?" Anders asked the group once they settled down with their greetings.

Fenris nodded and waited for the others to take their positions. Merrill stood with Hawke and Sebastian against the east side wall. Arielle knelt beside the circle to assist in keeping Fenris calm through the process. Anders and Marethari stood on opposite ends of the circle, and Fenris stepped into the middle. He sat with his legs crossed and placed the sword in his lap. Arielle kept her eyes on Anders until he bowed his head for her to begin.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Varric tried to ignore how much he and Isabela stood out as they entered the Gallows. Normally wandering around with Hawke they weren't so conspicuous, but he couldn't shake the feeling that all eyes were on them.

Isabela didn't seem to notice, strutting through the courtyard with her head held high and swaying her hips to tease all the young templar recruits. As they approached Solivitus, he seemed just as nervous to have them there as Varric felt being there. "Thank you for coming on such short notice," he said once they were within ear shot.

Varric stood firm, fighting the urge to look over his shoulder at every noise. "Hawke sends her apologies for not being able to come herself," Varric said to him. "Given the urgency of your request she sent us here instead."

Solivitus nodded. "I trust whomever she travels with, and this is indeed urgent news." He looked towards Isabela. "I told you yesterday about those merchants? Well they returned this morning."

"Trying to sell you more junk again?" Isabela asked.

He lowered his voice so Varric and Isabela had to lean in to hear him. "Yesterday it was drakestone. Today it was Sela Petrae."

Varric shrugged. "Is there something we're supposed to gather from this information? Sounds like foreign herbalist speak to me."

Solivitus sighed and broke it down for them. "The two ingredients alone mean nothing. It's when you put them together that there can be a potential problem. Knowing that both of them were gathered by merchants and delivered to someone here can only mean something terrible is about to happen!"

Isabela placed her hands on his shoulders. "Take a breath Sol. What do you mean by 'something terrible?'"

He looked over their shoulders to make sure no one could hear him. "It's an explosive. Worse than any dwarven made bomb I have ever seen. More destructive than the Qunari's gaatlok." He ran his hand through his hair, the fear clear in his expression. "The merchants brought in enough of both to take down the Chantry if they wanted!"

Isabela released Sol and looked down at Varric. His concern was as clear as hers. "Hawke will need to know about this," Varric stated. "And we need to figure out who it went to."

"Thanks Sol," Isabela offered. "We'll look into it. Perhaps now would be a good idea to take that vacation you were planning, get out of Kirkwall for a while?"

He readily agreed. "I think you're right. I'll close up shop immediately, and you should tell your friends to do the same! There's no telling what's going to happen with this stuff in the wrong hands!"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The markings on Arielle's skin began to glow a soft pink as she concentrated on projecting an emotion of calm towards Fenris. He felt his nervousness slip away as he allowed her comfort to sooth him. Their eyes remained fixed on each other, Fenris finding the need to ground himself somewhere as he waited for the flood of memories to return to him.

Anders and Marethari both extended their hands towards the circle and began chanting the words that were written in the book. "Offerimus sanguis draconis effigiem mens reddere. Et memoria omnino claustra redire ad se posita anima mutatur."

As the phrase was completed the first time, one of the five candles lost its flame. As they repeated the words another candle went out. On the third repetition Fenris closed his eyes and Arielle's markings grew brighter as she struggled to maintain the calm around him. Anders remained focused on the task at hand, refusing to acknowledge the fear and pain he knew Arielle was beginning to suffer. Merrill placed a hand on Hawke's arm as she nearly ran towards Fenris during the fourth repetition, his markings on his feet beginning to glow. They watched as the light traveled up his legs to his chest and ended at his chin before disappearing as quickly as they began. The last phrase was spoken and altered slightly with the addition of "et nunc fiat." The final flame extinguished, and Fenris immediately fell to the side unconscious.

Anders quickly moved towards Arielle and knelt beside her; Hawke took his cue and pulled away from Merrill, entering the circle to assist Fenris. Merrill and Sebastian closed in and Marethari ordered them to wait as she stood over Fenris and Hawke.

Hawke sat on the floor beside him and moved the Blade of Mercy out of the way, then pulled Fenris into her lap. As she moved the hair from his forehead she noticed how hot he was, and then gasped at the blood beginning to trickle out of his nose. "Anders!" she called as panic set in, not knowing what was happening to him.

Arielle waved off Anders attentions as she held her own head and told him to check on Fenris. He did so reluctantly, moving within the circle to examine him. "I don't sense anything physically wrong with him," Anders replied as he looked up towards Marethari.

She nodded her head in confirmation and placed a hand on Hawke's shoulder. "He will be fine Hawke," Marethari assured her. "Give him a few minutes to find his own path home."

Hawke nodded, using the sleeve of her shirt to remove the blood from above his lip. Anders returned to Arielle. "Help me," Arielle asked of him, "he won't be out for long."

Anders sat beside her and took her hand, opening himself up to her now that the ritual was completed. She maintained her projection of calm over Fenris with renewed strength from Anders, and they all waited for him to wake up.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"We need to see Hawke," Isabela stated barging into the estate after Bodhan opened the door. Varric followed behind, apologizing to the fellow dwarf for the pirates rude behavior.

"Messere Hawke is not to be disturbed right now," he called after them as they entered the living room. "She has given strict instruction..."

Varric put his hands up to signal compliance. "We'll wait for her, we know what she's doing."

Bodahn still seemed nervous as he left them alone to stand guard at the vault door. Varric removed Bianca from her usual position on his back and placed her next to the couch as Isabela moved towards the stairs. She took out her small dagger clipped to her thigh and began carving into the stairwell. Sandal looked up at her and gasped at her actions, but then clapped his hands when she pointed towards the chandelier. It was a secret the two of them kept for each other; she was free to carve and he could swing.

Varric shook his head at the both of them as he picked up an old copy of Anders' manifesto from under the couch and began reading it.

Moments later the sounds of someone coming up the stairs from the basement startled the two mischievous troublemakers. Sandal swung wide and released, landing perfectly in a seated position on the couch. Isabela quickly wiped away the wood shavings she had created while engraving the banister with breasts, and Varric stood to face Merrill and Marethari as they joined them.

"Everything go according to plan?" Varric asked the two elves.

Marethari nodded. "The time to heal old wounds has come. Your friend is in good hands," she assured them. Merrill remained typically quiet in the company of her Keeper, who didn't remain a moment further and left to return to her clan.

Merrill wandered the living room, smelling flowers Hawke had on a table and then poking at the fire as if she couldn't really settle down. Varric watched her, waiting for further information, but she continued to explore the room as if it was her first time being there. "Daisy, will you stop moving and fill us in already?"

"Oh!" she exclaimed, and apologized profusely. "Sorry, I just get a bit nervous in this big house. What did you need?"

Varric sighed. "Fenris? Hawke? Ritual ring a bell?"

"Oh, right, yes," she said as she sat on Hawke's desk swinging her legs. "He seems okay...Anders and the Keeper said some words, Fenris and Arielle started to glow, he keeled over and bled a little, and now everyone is waiting for him to wake up. It was all very pretty."

Varric settled back onto the couch next to Sandal. "Only you could describe a crazy magister's ritual as 'pretty.'"

Merrill frowned. "But it _was_ pretty," she repeated quietly. "His blue lights and her pink ones made a pretty purple on the walls."

Isabela laughed as she finished her carving and sat next to Merrill. "Don't mind grumpy chest hair over there," she said patting Merrill on the leg. "He's probably just as bored as I am waiting for Hawke to finish up. We have news for her."

"Oh I hope it's good news," Merrill cheered up again. "She could really use some."

Isabela glanced at Varric who shook his head. No point in worrying the elf they figured, they were doing enough worrying for everyone.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Sebastian had removed the blade from the circle and now stood behind Hawke and Fenris as they all waited for the warrior to wake. Hawke continued to cradle Fenris in her lap, occasionally moving his hair away from his eyes and checking to see if he was still feverish. His body temperature had returned to normal, and his breathing became steady as she counted through the rise and fall of his chest. She glanced up at Sebastian who offered a comforting smile as he placed his hand on her shoulder. She stretched out her leg that was beginning to lose feeling under the weight of him and moved him gently back into position on her thigh. The waiting was torturing her, and she wished some of Arielle's energy of calm would reach her. At this very moment, all she could think of was her desire to shake Fenris into returning to her.

Anders sudden movement startled her as he released Arielle's hand and stood. She looked up at him with a questioning glance, but it was Arielle who answered. "He's waking up," she said as she opened her eyes and seemed to focus more intently than she had before.

Hawke felt Fenris begin to stir. At first he brought his knee up, then turned to the side in her lap. A gentle squeeze of her hand set her heart racing, and it wasn't until he said her name that she allowed the tears to fall. "I'm here Fenris," she whispered as she brought his hand to her lips and kissed it gently.

"How do you feel?" Anders asked as he knelt down beside the two of them.

Fenris tried to move but struggled to do so; Hawke and Sebastian assisted him into sitting up and he chose to lean against her for support. "My head is pounding," he stated.

Anders removed a healing potion from his pocket and handed it to Hawke. "Give him that, it should help."

Hawke nodded and brought the vile to his lips. "Open up," she said to him and he complied, allowing the liquid to fall down his throat as he swallowed.

The drumming in his mind subsided and he opened his eyes, seeing the tears staining Hawke's cheeks for the first time. He brought a weak hand to her face and wiped the remaining tears away with his thumb but remained silent.

"Glad to have you back Fenris," Sebastian said from behind them.

Fenris grunted his thanks but continued to look at Hawke, feeling no desire to turn away from her. The others felt a bit awkward at witnessing such an intimate moment between the two but no one seemed able to move. Fenris leaned into her and closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to hers. "I'm alright Hawke," he whispered softly, trying to reassure her as the tears fell once more. He pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her, tangling his hands in her hair.

Anders hated to be the one to break up the moment, but Arielle was becoming weaker by the second. "Are you ready?" he asked the elf once more.

Fenris nodded and felt Hawke grip his shirt tighter, the fear of this final step nearly overwhelming her. He rested his head on hers and took several deep breaths to prepare himself for the final stage of the plan.

Anders moved towards Arielle and took her hands. "Slowly love," he said to her as he assisted her in the withdrawal. The both of them felt the tension rise within Fenris as Arielle began to pull away and she stopped, afraid to continue. _Keep going_, he coaxed her through their connection so the others couldn't hear. _He needs to be able to handle this on his own._

Arielle fought her own tears as she began again, retreating further and further from Fenris' mind. His grip tightened around Hawke the more Arielle backed out, the emotions of all he remembered flooding to the surface. By the time Arielle retreated completely, Hawke could barely breath within his arms. She refused to move though, allowing him whatever comfort she could provide to get through these next few moments.

Anders immediately cast a spell over Arielle and she fell into his arms. He gently placed her on the ground as Sebastian gasped at him, horrified. "What did you do?" he whispered.

"A sleep spell," Anders replied. "She's too vulnerable to be near him like this." He then moved quickly back to Hawke and Fenris. "You're crushing her," he warned Fenris daring to interfere. He looked up at Sebastian as he held onto Hawke. "Help me."

Sebastian joined him beside the couple, prying Fenris' arms from Hawke. Anders placed his hands on her back and healed the bruised ribs as Fenris struggled in Sebastian's grasp. His markings lit as he panicked from his movements being restricted. Hawke looked up at him and called his name, trying to get through his rage. He didn't seem to notice, continuing to struggle against Sebastian.

"I can't...hold him," Sebastian warned Anders as Fenris finally broke free. He stopped to look at Hawke on the ground, surrounded by the ritual circle, and he immediately fled down the stairs and out of the basement into Darktown.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Translations:<strong>_

**Offerimus sanguis draconis effigiem mens reddere. Et memoria omnino claustra redire ad se posita anima mutatur:**_**We offer the blood of the dragon to return one's mind to original form. Remove all barriers placed upon this soul and allow his memories to return to him unchanged.**_

**Et nunc fiat:**_** And now it is done.**_


	44. Together

"Hawke!" Anders called to Hawke as she fled down the stairs in the direction Fenris had done. He turned to observe Arielle laying on the floor, asleep and unaware thanks to his spell. He was torn; Arielle would need him should she wake, but Hawke was after a man that could be completely unstable. If Fenris were to harm Hawke in any way because Anders didn't plan properly for this outcome...

"Go," Sebastian nudged Anders' decision, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I will watch over her."

That was all he needed to hear. Anders headed towards Darktown from the Hawke estate vault. The exit led out to the front of his clinic; doors still securely locked. He ran through the corridors of the poor and up the stairs to where he heard Hawke questioning Tomwise, the elven poison maker.

"He didn't come through this way at all?" Hawke asked with a fearful tone in her voice.

Tomwise shook his head. "He's kinda hard to miss, your friend. I think I'd know if he came tear-assin' through these parts as you say."

Hawke turned to run back down the stairs and ran straight into Anders. "Get out of my way," she said pushing past him.

"Wait," Anders called after her. "Let me help you!"

Hawke turned on her heels and confronted him. "You were supposed to prevent this," she said poking his chest with her finger. "You said he'd be fine. You assured us nothing would go wrong." Her voice began to waiver, her true feelings of panic and helplessness flooding to the surface. "He swore he wouldn't run again! He promised..."

Anders pulled her into an embrace; her struggling subsiding into sobs in an instant. "I'm sorry Hawke," he whispered to her. "I'm so sorry. We'll find him."

All the apprehension and fear of the day was released into the softness of Anders' coat. Hawke's mind began racing with thoughts of never seeing Fenris again. Or maybe something went wrong with the ritual and they actually removed his memories again, causing him to run. Could it be that his feelings for Arielle flooded to the surface and he had to run from her? Was he in pain?

Anders continued to stroke her hair and kissed the top of her head. "You have to be strong for him," he reminded her. "Don't let your imagination consume you."

Hawke nodded in his chest, using her sleeve to wipe her tears as she pulled away from him. "He has to be here somewhere," she said, trying to figure out where Fenris would've gone.

Anders assisted in wiping the tears that had fallen upon her cheeks. "If he went to the sewers or the undercity, he could be anywhere by now. We should go back to the estate; it's there he will return to when he's ready."

"I'm sorry," Hawke said to him. "I didn't mean to blame you, or fall apart on you."

Anders shrugged. "So you owe me a few feathers for my coat, it's alright," he smiled, trying to get her to relax. "He's stronger for having you in his life Hawke. He has come a long way with your help. He will be fine, I know it."

She managed a weak smile. "Not long ago you'd be telling me what a monster he is. You two have come a long way as well."

Anders laughed. "Yes well, I may still think he's a monster; I just don't say it as often."

"Thank you," Hawke said sincerely. "For today, for everything."

"Come on," he said grabbing her hand and moving back towards the vault entrance. "He may have already returned and I don't need my heart ripped out for keeping you from him."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

He ran, though he was uncertain for how long. Through the sewers as fast as possible, ghosting through groups of homeless and thugs. Stirred sand and dust trailed his path as he continued to move, ignoring the shouts and curses as he did so.

The air and sun was refreshing as he exited the undercity on to the cliffs outside Kirkwall. Out of breath he panted, leaning against a large boulder, and finally his body caught up with him. Without warning his stomach rejected his early morning breakfast, finding its way into the nearby brush. The sudden weakness of his muscles forced him to ground; the stench of his own vomit lingering in the air.

He leaned his head back and rested it on a tree, closing his eyes as the warming rays eased some lingering tension. Though his headache had been banished, his head still swam with new information that caused waves of dizziness and nausea. Worse than any hangover he had ever experienced, the ground never stopped moving even though he was perfectly still.

The stories his sister had told him now played out in his mind with images to match. He thought about his father and the picture of him was clear. He could recall the smell of his mother, the laughter of his sister. The sound of their voices, the feel of their touch, the feeling of love and belonging consumed all he knew of that time. They were a family, he was a part of that, and he remembered it as if it were yesterday.

He could play the lute; he knew this now. Instantly he recalled how to read; more than what Hawke had taught him, and in more than one language. He heard his own voice; younger, higher, before the change all boys went through. And he had a clear picture of what his body had looked like at that time; a bit heavier, less muscle, and free of the white lines it was scarred with now.

Events that stood out in his past were easily accessible; the birth of his sister, his jealousy at her arrival and Mothers attentions. The news of his fathers death; cradling his mother as she sobbed uncontrollably for what seemed like days. Mundane tasks of their daily life while serving Caladrius. This was his life, these were his memories to draw from at will.

He gathered his strength to stand and moved towards the cliff's edge. The sun shining brightly off the water danced before him, provoking another part of his history he dared to recall. Another cliff, another time, another body of water. He stood as the breeze of the Nocen Sea gently tossed his then black hair. Soft hands drifted towards his stomach as he felt her breasts press against his back. He caressed her arms that wrapped around him, closing his eyes to remember this moment forever. Their first time together, and the first time for both Leto and Vasilia.

Though he knew what would happen, Fenris could not stop himself from exploring the rest of their relationship. Their first kiss was clearer now; the sound of Danarius' voice in the market as they embraced in the shadows. What happened after their kiss, the clear memory of it causing his cheeks to flush with embarrassment all over again. The time she spent with his mother and sister, his time training for the tournament, and then the inevitable employ as Danarius' body guard. The many various and creative ways they found to see each other and be with each other...as well as their last time together.

The preparation for the ritual that would brand him for life; being chained to a wall, stripped completely naked and then thoroughly cleaned by servants. Blades swept across his skin as they carefully shaved every part of his body that would be marked. He nearly broke his wrists as he pulled away from them when they attempted to shave his most private area, but a quick spell from Hadriana froze him in place. He never knew she was there; and was even less aware that she had taken the shaving blade from the servant and completed that area herself. What surprised him even more was her gentle touch; she seemed to have some care for him once.

Fenris closed his eyes and forced himself to stop the path he was on. He thought about anything he could to get away from it; went back to a time he and Varania played in the courtyard with his mother looking on, smiling at the both of them as they played their silly games. Focusing on the positive he was able to avoid the ritual itself. There would be a time he would face it, but he didn't want to do it alone. He wanted Hawke to be there with him.

Guilt washed over him in that moment as he realized what he had done. The thought of Hawke reminded him that he had left her yet again. Overwhelmed by images and emotions, and then seeing Hawke within that circle had terrified him with the very memory he was trying to avoid. He struggled once more not to dwell on the thought and instead recalled memories of Hawke. Holding on to their special moments together, he made his way back to Kirkwall to find her, and assure her that he was alright.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The door to the vault was kicked open without warning, causing Bodahn to run down the hall in fear. "I'm sorry!" Sebastian called out to him while carrying Arielle in his arms. She was still sleeping peacefully and Sebastian wanted to lay her down in one of the rooms so she was more comfortable.

The sound of Bodahn scampering down the hall brought Isabela and Varric to their feet as they moved towards the vault. Nearly colliding with Bodahn, Isabela pressed herself against the wall. Varric wasn't as dexterous however, and the two dwarves met each other head on. Both brought a hand to their foreheads in an attempt to sooth the pain as Sebastian nimbly moved between the three.

"What happened to her?" Isabela asked as she followed Sebastian, leaving the dwarves to lick their wounds.

"She will be fine," Sebastian replied to her. "Where can I place her to rest?"

Isabela shrugged. "How should I know? I don't live here."

Sebastian sighed and decided the couch was the best he was going to do, the weight of Arielle causing strain on his upper arms. Merrill gasped when she saw the two of them, having remained in the living room during the commotion. "Oh dear!" she exclaimed.

"It's alright Merrill," Sebastian assured her. "I don't know how long she'll be out for; some spell of Anders'."

He placed her gently on the couch as Isabela grabbed a blanket and covered her. "That doesn't sound good," Isabela stated. "Where 's Hawke?"

Sebastian sighed. "Maker willing, she's with Fenris calming him down."

Varric joined them a minute later, a small lump forming on his forehead. "I take it things didn't go as planned?" Varric asked, gesturing for them to move into the library so they didn't wake Arielle.

Sebastian filled the group in on what happened after Merrill and the Keeper left. The concern for their friend was clear on their faces. "Should we go help find him?" Merrill asked the others. "Though I suppose he could be anywhere by now, he does know his way around the city better than I do."

"We're not going to look," Hawke informed them as she stood in the entranceway of the library, Anders behind her. The others turned to look at her as she entered the room, settling down at the table in her usual seat. "He knows where to find us should he need us."

Varric observed the two and their disheveled appearance. "Are you sure Hawke? I can put word out if you want..."

Hawke waved off his offer with her hand. "I can't keep chasing him," she explained quietly. "I don't know what he's dealing with right now, but whatever it is he needs to face it on his own." She looked at Anders for confirmation of her thoughts and he nodded, agreeing with her. "Wait, why are you both here?" she asked Varric and Isabela. "Weren't we supposed to meet at the Hanged Man later?"

Varric nodded. "There's something we thought you should know Hawke," he began to explain what they had learned earlier that morning. "Sol wanted to see you, and with the broody elf situation we figured we'd take care of it for you."

"Thank you," Hawke said sincerely, the mention of Fenris hitting the fear that still taunted her stomach. "What did he want?"

"Those merchants that visited the Gallows returned this morning," Varric continued. "They were trying to sell him some sally petree."

"Sela Petrae," Anders corrected him.

"Yeah that stuff," Varric confirmed. "Sol said it's potentially lethal when combined with what they were carrying yesterday."

"Which was?" Hawke asked.

"You're gonna love this," Varric smiled. "Drakestone."

Both Anders and Merrill clearly understood the consequences of the combination, as they both gasped at Varric. Hawke gave them a curious glance. "What is it? What's so special about drakestone?"

"The combination of the two," Anders told her. "I had done some research on Sela Petrae not too long ago," he admitted. "You do not want to be around when those two ingredients are combined."

"Sol said those merchants brought enough to take out the Chantry if they wanted to," Isabela added. "Though personally I can think of much better locations. Who cares about the Chantry?"

Hawke thought for a moment. "Those merchants we ran into at the Bone Pit...probably a good guess that they were there to gather the drakestone then, and are the same ones from the Gallows."

"And cared enough to take out some Wardens while they were there," Anders reminded her. "Though if the Wardens were gathering the drakestone as well..."

Hawke sighed as she leaned back in her chair. "What have we stepped into," she wondered out loud. "Hopefully we'll get some answers. I have a meeting soon with someone I think may be able to shed some light on that." She stood. "But until then, life in Kirkwall goes on right? Anders, if you want to stay here with Arielle and skip tonight I'll understand."

"I can go in his place," Sebastian offered.

Anders nodded. "Thank you. We'll remain here in case Fenris returns, if that's alright."

Hawke smiled softly. "Please do. We should let Aveline know what's going on."

"Right behind ya Hawke," Varric said as he stood as well. "You coming too Daisy?"

Merrill shook her head. "I think I'll stay too. Walking around the city a lot makes me dizzy with all the big buildings."

Hawke excused herself to her bedroom to gather her weapons and armor. She took a moment to allow herself a few deep breaths, thoughts of Fenris still knotting her insides. Wherever he was, she hoped he was safe and would return to her when he was ready.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Aveline was less than thrilled to hear the news about a potential bomb being created somewhere within Kirkwall. Varric and Isabela assured the guard captain that they had people looking into the matter further, but that didn't do much to calm her anger and fear. Hawke had to agree with her friends concern; with everything else happening within the city between the mages and the templars, this new threat could bring another war that Kirkwall couldn't handle.

The rest of the afternoon was spent searching different areas of Kirkwall for Fenris. Hawke had changed her mind about searching for him on the way to see Aveline. Nothing had turned up though, not even a hint that he had been in any particular area. No one had seen him all day, which led Hawke to believe that he had fled the city underground as Anders suspected. She didn't have the time to go outside the city, so the search would have to wait.

The large statue at the docks reminded Hawke of what they had already overcome. The struggles with the Qunari caused the deaths of hundreds, including the now much needed viscount. Apparently there were some that learned nothing from that experience as they secretly planned more destruction. Hawke had hopes that this meeting in the warehouse between the mages and templars would enlighten her to who the key players were, and if she could talk any sense into them.

They walked quietly through the streets towards the western warehouse district. They followed the notes instructions to the correct location and entered as muffled voices drifted from below. Hawke and her companions approached from behind as a mage and templar were in some sort of heated discussion. When the mage looked up and saw Hawke approach, he panicked. "I told you she was after us!"

The templar turned and locked eyes with Hawke. "Keran?"

Keran turned away from her and spoke to the mage in a frantic tone. "No, not her, I can't do this!" He backed away from the mage and took off running behind Hawke.

The mage whistled for the others in alarm. "To arms!" he yelled, removing his staff from his back and beginning to cast a spell of protection around himself.

"For Makers sake will you people let me talk instead of attacking me?" Hawke asked in frustration.

No one stopped at her words however, and the attack began. Isabela threw down her smoke flask to allow her and Hawke's disappearance, and they immediately resurfaced behind the mage and a conspiring templar. Daggers tore into flesh as arrows from Varric and Sebastian flew past them and into more attackers approaching from a distance. The skillful dance of the women and their blades combined with the ranged perfection of the men ended the fight before any of them broke a sweat.

When the battle was over, Keran came out of hiding from whatever shadow he had run to. "I told them not to do it," he told Hawke. "I swear. If I knew you were the one they were talking about, I'd have warned you! I did not approve of kidnapping, not after what I have gone through..."

"Keran," Hawke approached him. "Slow down and tell me what happened."

He took a deep breath before filling her in. "They said someone was spying and that we needed leverage, someone they cared about as a hostage." Keran paused, shame and fear in his expression. "We just got word they kidnapped some elf from Tevinter near your home. Took out four men before they subdued him."

Hawke felt her legs go weak; Sebastian's strong hand at her back her only means of support. Her voice was quiet and full of disbelief. "You would go to such lengths as to kidnap Fenris? Why Keran? After what we did for you? Why?"

"We aren't going to hurt him," Keran told her. "They just wanted to make sure you left us alone, ended this pursuit into what we were doing. Thrask says Meredith will cause open war with the mages if she stays in charge. We have to take her down!"

Hawke shook her head, unable to process what she was hearing. "Thrask is in on this as well? Is this how you templars repay those that have helped you? By kidnapping? Threatening someone I hold dear?" She stepped away from Sebastian's support and closed the distance between her and Keran. "You are no better than the woman you claim to have issue with. Her actions may be questionable, but at least she hasn't resorted to this."

Keran took a step back, the anger in Hawke's voice overwhelming him with fear. "Your friend should be fine," he told her, trying to convince her to spare his life. "They were going to our base on the Wounded Coast, the ruins there. I'm sorry Hawke; they saw no other way. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you..."

"There is," she said to him in a whisper, controlling her anger as best as she could. "You will go to Cullen, now, and tell him everything. Bring him to the Wounded Coast. I'm tired of no one bothering to listen to me, and you will all do so once I'm certain Fenris is safe."

Keran nodded. "Of course. Anything..."

"Now, Keran," she said firmly. Keran said nothing further, immediately running up the stairs and out of the warehouse. Hawke turned to her friends. "We head out now. Objections?"

No one dared.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Anders allowed his mind to wander as he watched Arielle sleeping peacefully in his lap. The ritual had gone as planned, right up until Fenris had run away from them. He had thought of every precaution, every possible outcome, and yet things still didn't end the way he had hoped. Hawke was upset with him, rightfully so, as he was upset with himself. His friends had trusted him, and he felt like he let them down.

He gently ran his hand through Arielle's hair, now wondering if she would change her mind about doing the ritual for herself. What memories would she unlock, and would it change anything for them? The way she made him feel, the confidence she somehow brought to him astounded him. He could hardly remember a time without her in his life, and yet she had only been with him a short while.

Anders considered where his life was headed before he met her. Engrossed in writing his manifesto, Justice urging him to help the brewing war between mages and templars. It was recent in fact that he had researched the combination of the two ingredients Sol had spoken of; a plan that had come to him by way of Justice. To really shed light on what mages had suffered at the hands of the templars, something had to be done for even the Divine herself to take notice, and Anders had that plan.

Yet the woman he couldn't take his eyes off of had changed all that. It wasn't that he no longer cared about his fellow mages; he continued to assist them as best as he could. But the passion for vengeance was no longer there; Arielle now claimed all of his passion for herself, and he was more than willing to give it to her.

She began to stir under his touch, and he gently kissed her forehead. "I'm here love," he assured her.

Slowly Arielle opened her eyes and looked up at him. She smiled as she turned on her side, curling up even closer to him "Did it work?" she asked, closing her eyes again as she struggled with the lingering effects of his spell.

"I don't know," he said honestly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Are you alright?"

She nodded in his lap and settled back into her dreams. Anders couldn't help but smile at the cute expression she had as she fell back asleep. This was what he wanted, he knew that deep in his heart. Arielle had changed everything for him, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life thanking her for it. For whatever reason Justice remained quiet in her presence, he was grateful. It allowed him the opportunity to love again, and not fear that love when it was returned. Let the mages and templars fight their battles without him. All he ever needed was right here.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The Wounded Coast was a bit eerie this time of night. With the full moon above them there was no need for torches; the white light reflecting off the sand made their travels quite safe. Hawke spent the long walk gathering her thoughts in preparation for the confrontation that was about to take place. Knowing they held Fenris didn't make things easier, but she couldn't dwell on that for long. Each step closer to the ruins created more knots in her stomach that she had to unwind before their arrival.

"Sebastian?"

"Yes Hawke?"

"Please ask the Maker for his support," she said to him. "I think we need all the help we can get."

Sebastian smiled at her. "Already done Hawke."

They walked down the path towards the ruins. Firelight from campfires created shadows through the trees, and conversations could be heard as they drew near. Hawke paused for a moment as she looked upon her companions. "Do not draw your weapons unless absolutely necessary," she whispered to them.

"Are you crazy?" Isabela asked, though she secured her daggers behind her. "I hope you know what you're doing."

Hawke couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips. "I haven't a clue," she said as she began walking again.

"I suppose it was too much to hope that you wouldn't have come here," Thrask said to Hawke as they entered the camp.

She took a quick look around at the assembled crew within the old ruins. A few of the templars and mages she recognized; others seemed so young and lost she wondered what they were doing there. Behind Thrask stood Grace, one of the Starkhaven mages Hawke had brought in years ago. She wasn't too surprised to see her there. In the distance she caught sight of Fenris; his unmoving form laying on the ground.

Thrask's words invaded her thoughts as he continued. "I can't understand why you would side with Meredith. You showed me we can stand up to her," he reminded her. "Please Champion, I have nothing but respect for you. It's Meredith we must see gone."

Hawke sighed at his plea. "Secret night time meetings and grandiose conspiracies aren't going to win this," she told him. "Neither is kidnapping my friends. And please tell me when exactly did I decide to side with Meredith? You're right, without her Kirkwall can be at peace again. But this is not the way."

"I can not release him without your word that you will either side with us or not interfere," Thrask told her.

Grace interrupted any reply Hawke had to say. "She'll never keep her word," the mage insisted. "I say we kill the hostage and then the Champion!"

Thrask seemed like he was about to argue with Grace, but Hawke did so for him. "I have killed dozens of your fellow conspirators to get here," she warned the mage. "All because they wouldn't take a minute to listen to me. Do not make the same mistake."

Grace took a step back, Hawke's threat seeming to drive some sense into her. "You did save my life once. I suppose I owe you the courtesy of hearing you out."

Hawke rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the consideration." She turned her attention back towards Thrask. "You have managed to bring together templars and mages for a common purpose," Hawke began. "Am I correct in assuming that your main goal is to be rid of Meredith?"

Thrask nodded. "She is out of control, and her reign must end."

Hawke walked towards Fenris, needing to be closer to him even if she couldn't yet touch him. "And when that is done?" she asked turning back around to face the others. "Do you all plan to go back to the way it was? Templars in charge of mages?"

"Under a better ruler, yes," Thrask stated.

Apparently Grace had other plans. "No, no we can't do that. This was to fight for our freedom, the freedom of all mages!"

"That is not a fight that you will win," Hawke said calmly. "You should take a closer look at what you have created here. Templars will always be responsible for overseeing mages and their training, but you could change the way it is done." Hawke dared to glance at Sebastian, who nodded his head for her to continue. "If you can work together as you are now, there is no reason why you can't work together within the Gallows to make it a better environment for everyone."

"Even if that were possible," Thrask countered, "we can not do so with Meredith in charge. She has become a tyrant, coming down on the mages harsher than she ever has before."

Hawke crossed her arms. "Do your templars have no free will to disobey her orders? You do not need the mages to assist you in overthrowing Meredith. You need the support of your fellow templars."

"Which you might have had if you came to me first," Cullen said as he approached the ruins, Keran following behind. Hawke dared a sigh of relief at seeing the knight captain.

"Your loyalty to her is clear," Grace argued with Cullen. "You do whatever she says, that's why Thrask didn't turn to you."

"On the contrary," Cullen informed her. "I asked the Champion to look into what was going on so I could offer my assistance. I agree Meredith may need to be removed from her position, but as Hawke stated it will require all of us to do so."

"You can only benefit from communicating with each other," Hawke told them. "I will assist in any way I can, you have my word. But I will not tolerate you harming anyone else like this again."

Thrask nodded to Grace, who moved towards Hawke and Fenris. "My apologies Champion; you do not know what it is like living with Meredith's threats on a daily basis. It is only a matter of time before she calls for all of us to be made tranquil, and I would rather die than allow that to happen."

Hawke placed her hand on Grace's shoulder. "That's not going to happen Grace," she said as she looked towards Cullen for confirmation. He nodded quietly.

Grace knelt down in front of Fenris. "He's held by blood magic," Grace informed them. "It is the only way to release him."

Cullen gave a disappointed glance towards Thrask but allowed the action. "Do it," he told her.

Hawke watched as the mage brought the blade to her arm and slit her wrist. A negative energy surrounded them briefly as she cast a spell towards Fenris. Instantly he began to stir and Hawke knelt beside him. "Fenris?"

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Hawke?"

She smiled, refusing to allow the other to see her tears and how close they nearly came to getting anything they wanted from her for his release. "I'll explain later," she told him. "Can you stand?"

He nodded, and with Hawke's assistance Fenris stood. It took him a moment to realize his surroundings, and his grasp of Hawke's hand tightened. She squeezed back gently. "It's been a long day for all of us I'm sure," Hawke spoke to the others. "Perhaps it's best if you head back to the city before Meredith realizes you are all gone."

Cullen agreed. "If you have the time Hawke, please find me in the Gallows tomorrow and we can discuss future plans."

"Of course," she told him. "Thank you."

Cullen nodded as he gathered the other templars and mages to head back to Kirkwall. Hawke then addressed her companions. "Please make sure they all get back to the city in one piece. I need to fill Fenris in on what happened."

Varric eyed the couple suspiciously but said nothing as he followed the mages and templars a short distance away. Isabela and Sebastian followed in silence, realizing Hawke was trying to get rid of them to be alone with Fenris.

Once they were out of earshot, Varric spoke. "So, any ideas how Hawke is planning to take down Meredith?"

Isabela laughed. "Is that what she said she was doing? I was too busy dreaming about the knight captain not wearing any armor. I've always wanted a templar...do you think he's available?"

"Somehow Rivaini, I think if you wanted him bad enough you'd get him," Varric told her. "Though it's not a question of availability. I think the templars do as much of _that_ as choir boy here."

Sebastian chuckled at Varric's comment. "I have done more than my share of _that_ before becoming a brother."

"Why couldn't I have known you then?" Isabela sighed as they continued back to the city.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke released Fenris' hand and walked towards one of the large stones that stood tall in the cove. Fenris couldn't help but smile as she knelt down and began digging into the sand, a sight that had become very familiar to him. "Here?"

She turned to briefly smile at him before returning to her task, moments later retrieving a box of provisions she had hidden there years ago. Fenris moved to help her pull the box from the ground, their combined strength withdrawing it with ease. "Not too much in this one I'm afraid," she informed him. "A few blankets in case I ever got stuck here; it's a bit far from my other one that has the good stuff."

Fenris said nothing as she opened the box, and he assisted her as she laid out one of the blankets near the fire. Though Hawke tried to make it seem as normal as possible, the uneasiness between them weighed heavily on him. "I'm sorry," Fenris finally said to her before they sat down. "I was on my way back when they grabbed me; I was unable to stop them."

"You were?" Hawke asked for confirmation, finding herself surprised at the admission.

"Yes," he said as he sat down and waited for her to do the same.

Hawke settled on the blanket next to him, removing her boots and weapons for comfort. "Can you tell me what happened? What you remember?"

Fenris looked into the fire. "I remember everything," he informed her.

She planned her words carefully before asking. "Was it like before?"

He turned to look at her. "You mean the night we were together?" Hawke nodded. "No, it was not like that. That night the images came and went so fast I could not hold on to them. Now? My memories are there as if they always were. I suppose it is difficult to explain."

"No, you're doing fine, that makes sense," Hawke said to him. "I thought maybe it was the same because you ran," she said honestly.

Fenris looked away from her again, not wishing to burden her with more of his pain. "I promised you I would not run again, and when I realized I had, I returned. At least I tried to."

"It's okay," Hawke assured him. "You're here now; that's all that matters to me."

"To me as well," Fenris said as he brought his hand to her face. He closed his eyes as his thumb moved across her cheek. "I have wished for this moment for a long time," he told her. "You have no idea what this feels like."

"What do you mean?" Hawke whispered, clearly missing the intent behind his words as she got lost in the gentleness of his touch.

He stared into her eyes with passion and desire, enough so that she felt her face flush. "To touch you as a whole man," he responded, taking his other hand and intertwining his fingers in hers. "The thought of being with you without fear; having you without consequence..."

Hawke didn't allow him to continue his thought as she moved into him, pressing her mouth to his. He greedily accepted the warmth of her tongue on his, the feel of her longing and need flowing through them. For so long he hesitated to do this again with her; the one time he did, forgotten memories surfaced once more.

This time it would be different. Now they would come together in ways he had only dreamed of, being able to focus on everything she needed from him and more. He would enjoy the softness of her skin, the scent of her desire for him, the taste of her wanting. The blissful sound of her voice calling his name as he devoured her.

And after he took his time rediscovering every inch of her, their bodies would become one, and nothing would break that connection. He would look into her eyes the entire time; showing her exactly what she meant to him through his fast and slow pace of love and need. They would hold hands as he pushed into her, giving her everything he had.

The tears she would shed briefly in the pure bliss of the moment he would kiss away, knowing how much this time together meant to her as much as him. His passion and need for her was felt in every touch, every kiss, every thrust. When they reached their climax together, and he held her in his arms, she whispered the words she had been so frightened to say until now. "I love you Fenris," she whispered. "I love you so much it hurts."

Her brave warrior would kiss her softly, her tears falling onto their lips as they once again tasted each other. "And I you," he told her as they briefly parted before coming together again, and several more times after that before the sun rose.


	45. Trust

He ran his fingers down her arm, shoulder to wrist, and interlocked his fingers with hers. Pressing against her from behind, he brought his mouth to her neck and inhaled her scent before nipping at her skin with his teeth. She stirred under his touch, still trapped in the hazy world between sleep and consciousness, and pressed her backside towards him. She pulled his arm over her body so his elbow cupped her left breast. Hawke had imagined this moment more times than she cared to admit, and if she were still dreaming she wished she would never wake up.

"Hawke," the low growl of his voice echoed in her ear and brought pleasing bumps to the surface of her skin. He would have her again at this very moment if they weren't already running late for several appointments that morning. In fact it was nearly noon before the sunlight invaded his slumber, and he was learning that waking her took at least another half hour.

An incoherent mumble fell from her lips as she shifted again, rolling slightly on her back and allowing his hand to fall to her breast. Hawke turned her head and smiled, though her eyes were still closed, and pretended her strategic movements were innocent. Her naked chest rose and fell with every breath, the light from the windows focusing on peaks that demanded his tongues attentions.

Fenris reached for the sheet that was twisted in a ball between their legs and untangled it just enough to cover her. "Hawke." He called to her again as he kissed her forehead. "It is time."

A snuffled protest was all he heard as she turned yet again, this time curling up under his chin and resting her fingers on his chest. She felt his movement as he dared to laugh at her laziness, his hand now moving up and down her exposed back. Her knee pried a space between his legs as she ran her toes along the top of his foot. "No," is all she said before a soft contented sigh escaped her. She kept one hand on his chest as the other hand reached up and rubbed the top of his neck.

As much as Fenris wanted to indulge in the desires of his body at that moment, he knew there wasn't time. One of them had to be of stronger will, and it was obviously not going to be Hawke. He kissed the top of her head once more before untangling himself from her limbs. She held on as if releasing him would cause her to fall, but he had the strength to overpower her as well. "Now, Hawke," he said a bit sternly.

Hawke squinted her eyes in the bright light to watch his naked form move across her bedroom. "You're mean," she mumbled as she kicked the sheets off of her. She stretched her naked body along the bed much like a cat, awakening her muscles and cracking a few joints.

"You as well," he said now at the foot of the bed looking down on her complete nudity.

Another stretch for his benefit as she arched her back. "Come do something about it then," she teased as she closed her eyes, her own body begging with anticipation.

He studied her as if contemplating such actions, and then turned from her before she could notice how difficult resisting her really was. "Up Hawke," he called from the doorway to the washroom.

She opened her eyes and saw he had vanished to clean up before getting dressed. Sighing in frustration she dragged herself out of bed, stretching as she stood to get the blood flowing for the day. Though she wanted to complain that he had left her wanting, she knew he was right. They had a lot to do that day, and engaging in yet another round of love making would've completely spoiled all plans.

Hawke smiled to herself as she listened to his movements in the other room. She wasn't quite over the surprise she felt every morning when she woke in his arms. Days and nights they had spent together since the ritual; each night full of love and tenderness, every morning the warmth of him enveloping her. Hawke constantly had to remind herself that she was no longer dreaming; he was really here, with her. They hadn't left each others side since the day he was kidnapped; days spent following up on the dangers in the city, nights curled up by the fire as he told her stories from his past.

Hawke gathered clothes and armor and set them on the chair outside the washroom. When Fenris was finished he turned to look at her, standing naked against the wall waiting for him. His hair was wet from a quick wash and beads of water dripped down his neck onto his chest. She couldn't help but imagine following the trails with her tongue as he chased them away with a towel. "Good morning," he said leaning in to kiss her.

The scent of his freshly cleaned skin nearly melted her to the spot she stood as she opened her mouth to accept him. Fenris dared only a few strokes of her tongue before withdrawing to dress. "Morning," she whispered in return before entering the washroom, finding the nearest basin of water and dunking her entire head in it. The things that elf did to her...it was a wonder they ever got out of bed at all.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"I had no idea she was this good," Anders said to Sebastian in disbelief.

"Aye, she has bested both of them," Sebastian replied quietly as to avoid a dagger through the heart.

The two of them watched yet another match between Arielle, Isabela, and Zevran. Arielle was finally confident enough to invite Anders to watch as she skillfully evaded strikes and stabs from the two rogues. It was clear her defense was flawless as neither one could land a blow to her.

Arielle still needed some work on offense. She easily avoided counter attacks to her advances but had yet to injure either one of them. It was clear she tried with more force knowing Anders was nearby in case anyone got hurt, but with each plunge dexterity prevailed, and she was left attacking the air. "Are you sure I can't cheat?" she asked the duo as they circled her.

Zevran smiled wickedly at Arielle. "Fighting is all about cheating, no?" he replied as he made his move, throwing a handful of dirt in her face that he had collected in an earlier tumble.

The sting to her eyes was immediate and she reacted without thinking. Her markings flared under her clothing as she gathered enough energy to force him clear across the courtyard, yet controlled enough not to slam him into the wall. Isabela took a moment to laugh at Zevran as he muttered several curses in Antivan. Her brief pause in concentration was enough for Arielle to spin around and force her backwards as well, directly into the arms of Sebastian.

Isabela looked up at the prince innocently when he instinctively wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling. "Hmmm...strong hands. Could I entice you to leave your order and sign up as one of my crewmen? I could use those hands at my...helm."

The flush to his cheeks was instant as Sebastian gently pushed her away from his chest. Isabela extended her rear to brush against the very spot where Andraste's face normally hung on his belt. His face reddened more so, if possible, before she moved away to see if Zevran was alright. "Maker she's impossible," he muttered, cursing himself for not wearing his armor.

Anders had to laugh as Sebastian shifted uncomfortably. "She wouldn't be Isabela if she wasn't impossible," he replied, smiling brightly as Arielle approached. "You were amazing," he whispered to her before leaning down to brush her lips with his. He then pulled away slightly to run his thumb over her cheeks, removing the glittering sand that lingered there from Zevran's attack.

"I know," Arielle shrugged with a wide grin before accepting a victory hug. "Now that you have watched me, can I go out with you guys next time?" She pulled her head back to look up at him, pleading her case with her eyes. "Please?"

Before he could protest, Hawke and Fenris entered the courtyard from the Chantry. "Did we miss it?" Hawke asked as she observed Zevran brushing himself off, Arielle and Anders embracing, and Isabela sheathing several blades.

"I think Zev's had enough," Isabela stated. "I wouldn't mind a few more rounds with her though," she smiled mischievously.

The audible groan from Anders and Sebastian had Hawke smiling. "Sorry Isabela, we're busy today in case you forgot."

"Oh, right..." Isabela winked at Anders and Arielle. "Another time then sweet thing."

"Is something the matter Hawke?" Sebastian asked. "Have you learned something new?"

Hawke shook her head. "Not since last time we spoke. Anders, Isabela and I have some business to attend to, and then I wanted to check in with Cullen. Other than that? I am hoping for a quiet day."

Arielle looked up at Anders again. "Can we ask her?"

He frowned at her excitement but nodded. "Arielle wishes to join us next time we head out," Anders informed Hawke.

Hawke shrugged. "I don't see why we can't talk about it whenever the time comes," she replied brightly. "Never hurts having additional backup."

"If you are not too tired, perhaps we should work on your other skills?" Fenris suggested to Arielle.

Anders agreed. "That's a good idea love. We'll be a few hours?" He looked towards Hawke for confirmation and she nodded. "I can meet you back here when we're finished." He leaned in to kiss her once more, his head spinning from the overwhelming love she projected back towards him. She pressed her body close to his, and for a moment he almost abandoned all plans for the day to take her back to the clinic and have her.

"You two are turning me on," Isabela's voice broke into the moment and Anders felt Arielle smile against his lips.

Sebastian coughed, a gentle reminder that they were still in the Chantry courtyard, and the couple broke away from each other. Hawke and Fenris shared a much simpler goodbye. "See you later?"

"Of course," Fenris replied.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke walked through Templar Hall quietly, even though those that guarded the entrance knew she had entered. It still seemed wrong somehow, like she was trespassing. She quickened her pace as she passed offices of the knight-commander and the first enchanter. Though she was certain there was a cover story for her presence in the Hall, she wasn't in the mood for any sudden interrogations from either party.

The flowered garden at the end of the hall seemed an odd bright spot in an otherwise dreary location. The flower beds were full of beautiful colors and the sky above was still clear and bright. Hawke took a moment to appreciate the view before knocking on the only door in the area.

"Come," called the voice from inside.

Hawke entered the small office for the first time since she'd been in Kirkwall. Weapons and pictures of templar history hung from the walls. A desk with two comfortable looking leather chairs were in front of the Knight-Captain as he stood with one of his men.

"I'm sorry," Hawke said to him. "Am I interrupting?"

"Not at all," Cullen reassured her. "Thomas, may I introduce to you the Champion of Kirkwall."

The other templar bowed to her and then to Cullen. "I will be outside," he said before exiting the office.

"I can come back later if this was a bad time," Hawke said again.

He gestured for her to have a seat. "We were in fact waiting for you," Cullen informed her. "Thomas will be in the gardens assuring our privacy."

_Smart man, _Hawke thought to herself as she settled into the soft chair. "I take it things are still a bit unsettled around here?"

Cullen sat opposite her behind his desk and sighed. "I wish it weren't so," he admitted. "I fear we haven't made great strides with Meredith watching every move of the templars and the mages. For now we are at a standstill."

Hawke leaned forward in her chair, keeping her voice low as she spoke. "There are some things you need to know. I've only waited until now because in all honesty I wasn't sure you could be trusted." She paused, trying to form her words carefully before continuing. "Your support of her has been quite vocal in the past."

Cullen nodded. "It is my duty to support the knight-commander," he reminded her. "Though even I cannot turn a blind eye as to what is happening." He straightened up in his seat, bracing himself for whatever it was she had to say. "Tell me."

Hawke continued in hushed tones as she filled Cullen on the two growing concerns she had. One was the primevil lyrium that was now infused in Merediths sword, and she relayed her suspicions that the drastic mood swings could be a result of her having it in her possession. Hawke took the time to go into detail about the thaig, the Wardens, and the condition of Bartrand when they found him. She also showed him the letter from Gertek that detailed the effects the lyrium had on the dwarves who gathered it, and the proof that Meredith was looking into it.

Although he appeared overwhelmed with the news she had given him, Hawke continued with the other problem they were facing. She advised him of the merchants that had recently visited the Gallows and the ingredients they had sold Solivitus. As Hawke told him what they knew about the two being a lethal combination, Cullen listened intently, eyes wide and revealing a touch of fear.

"I can't believe this," he said to her, still browsing the letter in his now shaking hand. "Sol has no idea who purchased these ingredients?"

Hawke shook her head. "Someone within these Halls is all we know. I'm not so quick to blame Meredith for everything though," she dared to divulge. "I have my suspicions about the first enchanter as well." The final bits of information were given to Cullen; Orsino's connection to the Wardens and Danarius, and the letter he had recently received. Hawke also told him of their suspicions that Orsino was behind the contracts to capture Arielle.

"I am not certain I want to know how you gathered all of this information," Cullen finally said, "but it is information I cannot ignore."

"I'm afraid to push my luck in trying to find anything more," Hawke told him. "I assume you'd know about the dark corners of the Gallows far better than any of my companions."

Cullen nodded. "Thank you for trusting me with this Hawke," he said as he handed her back the letter. "I will do what I can. Come to me if you learn anything else."

"Likewise?" she asked as she stood.

He nodded once more and watched her leave the office. Thomas entered shortly after and noticed the grim expression on the Knight-Captains face. "Is it what you thought?" he asked.

Cullen leaned back in his chair. "Worse," he said solemnly. "Much worse than any of us could've imagined."


	46. Encounters

Sebastian and Zevran didn't plan on staying in the courtyard the entire day. What began as practice maneuvers of positioning and posture without weapons had turned into a lustrous light show, and now the two stared in awe and fascination. Arielle and Fenris were no longer sparring; they were almost dancing. Tumbles and leaps intertwined with defensive and offensive maneuvers were a blur of blue and red. And as the sun disappeared behind the large towering structure of the Chantry, the stone walls absorbed and reflected the light into a combined violet.

The duet continued their pace into a grand crescendo, their panting breaths echoing their exhaustion, yet neither one would yield. Fenris had stopped holding back the moment he saw the determination in her expression; Arielle wanted to beat him. They had long stopped caring about their audience as they circled each other, prey upon prey and ferocity in their eyes. Any outsider would think the two hated each other. But those closest to them would know this was a moment of love.

"How she does not best him as she did me I do not understand," Zevran whispered to Sebastian. "A competent warrior he is but not nearly as skilled as I."

"I suspect she is not _cheating_ as you call it," Sebastian replied. "Her movements indicate she has been reacting to his attacks and not predicting them."

Zevran scoffed in disgust. "What good will that do?"

"It is protecting her," Sebastian told him. He had noticed it hours ago, how Arielle was not using the one skill that would have ended their fight early. She had done it easily with Isabela and Zevran to anticipate their moves and work around them, or use it to her advantage. "I suspect their past may have something to do with it."

"Fighting a former lover is never wise; blasted emotions," Zevran stated from experience. "Perhaps we should leave them alone then so they can end this privately."

Sebastian nodded, surprised at the insightfulness of the assassins suggestion, and the two finally took their leave into the Chantry.

The pair locked in combat didn't notice. Their clothing clung to their skin from the heat of the encounter, beads of sweat itched their brows. Neither bothered to remove the dampness from their foreheads or upper lips; doing so would break their concentration. Instead they allowed their exhaustion to lead them to this stalemate of moving in circles, each waiting for the other to lunge another attack.

The sky overhead grew darker, and only the light rain that fell on their faces was able to distract them. Arielle blinked several times as drops gathered on her lashes, and finally it was her laughter that released the tension in them both.

Fenris smiled as he reached for her hand and pulled her towards the stone bench under the overhang and out of the rain. He handed her a skin of water which she consumed immediately as he did the same with his own. Arielle leaned her head back against the wall and stretched her legs out in front of her. "I don't think I will be able to move for a week," she admitted.

"You fought well," Fenris complimented her. "I did not think you would last as long as you did."

Arielle turned her head to look at him. "I could've taken you," she said with a grin.

He didn't bother to look at her when he admitted, "I know."

She refocused her attention on the water as it hit the ground, several sections already forming small puddles. It was the first time they had been together since the ritual; though their sparring helped with the initial awkwardness she feared would happen between them, now it was weighing heavily in the air. She wanted to say something to overcome the feeling, but she was at a loss for words. Thankfully Fenris initiated the conversation for her.

"I wanted to thank you," he began. "For your assistance the other day."

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more," Arielle replied. "When I heard about everything that happened after..."

Fenris interrupted. "The blame is mine," he told her.

"Is it how you thought it would be?" Arielle asked. "Having your memories returned?"

He thought for a moment. "It is...different," he answered honestly. "I find it hard to remember what it was like not having them."

"Well, you did always have them," she said. "They were just blocked."

"Hmm. I suppose."

The soothing sound of the rain began to subside as quickly as it came, and a foggy mist swept through the courtyard. Arielle shifted slightly as her wet clothes began to make her slightly uncomfortable. "Can I ask you something?" she dared, seizing the opportunity of their solitude.

"Of course," he replied immediately.

She hesitated at first, but her curiosity pushed her bravery to the surface. "Do you...see me differently now? Or feel differently since you can remember us?"

Emerald green eyes turned to her and his expression softened from its usual emotionless glare. "I have fond memories of _her_," he replied, referring to Vasilia as a separate person much like Arielle had done before. "You once told me I had to say goodbye," Fenris said, referring to the night that they had kissed. "You were right. I believe that has made this...easier."

"I'm glad," Arielle returned honestly. "You deserve happiness Fenris."

"As do you," he responded.

Neither realized that the rain had stopped completely until their conversation was halted by a very energetic Isabela who came through the far gate of the courtyard. "There you two are," she said with exasperation. "I hardly expected you both to still be here. I hope I'm not interrupting anything good?"

Fenris looked upon the pirate with a growl for the intrusion as Arielle stood. "Is Anders back?" she asked.

"I'm taking you to him," Isabela explained. "But first you need a bath," she said when she noticed Arielle's post battle smell. "Hawke said to meet her at home," Isabela informed Fenris as she grabbed Arielle's hand.

"Is he alright?" Arielle worried when Isabela tugged at her with force.

"Anders? He's fine," she answered. "But he'll kill me if we don't hurry up."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The gentle rocking of the boat soothed her as efficiently as the arms that cascaded around her shoulders. The sun had all but disappeared behind the mountains in the distance, the color spectrum of the sky changed to orange, pink and red hues. She wanted to close her eyes as the scent of the salty ocean wrapped itself around her like a blanket, but the view was too beautiful to turn away from.

A small island seemed to grow larger in front of them as they drew near, the soft twinkling of lights catching her eye. When she tilted her head backwards to look up at him, he kissed her forehead and smiled. Her lips responded with a curl of their own as she pressed her back against his chest. Cool wind swept through her hair, tickling her brow as random strands moved with the breeze. The warmth of his body behind her staved off any chill she might have felt in the dusk air.

Kirkwall disappeared behind them, the torches and lamps of the docks mere specs along the horizon. The man rowing the boat, who had remained silent until now, finally spoke. "Almost there," he advised the couple.

_You found my hiding place_, Arielle said quietly in his mind. The night sky overhead with the rainbow sunset in the distance, the reflection on the water as well as the mountainous landscape. It was a near perfect match to the place she had brought him to in her mind not so long ago.

"That was the idea," he replied audibly, laying a gentle kiss on the top of her head. The sweet scent of her freshly washed hair was intoxicating to him, and he buried his nose into her silky locks as the craft they were on reached the sandy beach. Anders got out of the boat first and then helped Arielle, her bare feet sinking in the soft sand. The man who brought them to the island nodded towards Anders and then pulled away, leaving the two of them alone.

Arielle caught her breath as she took in the scene before her. The isolated beach had been transformed into a place she could never have imagined. Several lit torches were embedded in the sand, their flames dancing slowly in the soft wind. When Anders lit the large gathering of twigs with a fire spell, more details of their private paradise could be seen. Silk sheets had been tied to pikes in the ground and stretched out to form a canopy above blankets and pillows. There was also a large basket of fruits and wine next to stacks of gathered firewood.

Surrounding the blankets were various types of flowers that formed a colorful border under the canopy. The rain that had touched Kirkwall earlier had no effect here; the sand felt dry beneath her feet as she explored the area. "You did all this?" Arielle questioned in disbelief.

"I had some help," Anders admitted with a shy smile. "It was my idea, but I enlisted Hawke and Isabela for the afternoon to prepare it." The crackling of the fire and the ocean waves hitting the nearby rocks were the only other sounds besides their conversation. "Do you like it?"

"This is..." she trailed off, not knowing exactly how to describe something so thoughtful and beautiful. "I can't believe you did this."

Anders walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Believe it love," he whispered in her ear. "You deserve this and more, and I will spend the rest of my days trying to make you happy."

She turned in his embrace and looked up at him. "You already do," Arielle assured him. Anders tilted his head down towards her and brushed his lips against hers. When he pulled away she looked out across the water and saw their boat a great distance beyond. "How long do we have?"

Anders couldn't help the grin on his face. "All night. Between the Deep Roads and the book and then the ritual, we've barely had any time for ourselves," he stated. "With our trip to Amaranthine only two days away, I thought we could use this, so I'm starting off simple."

Arielle laughed. "This is simple?"

"On the grander scale of things? Yes," Anders replied. "I want to show you so much more that you've never seen," he said as he pulled her towards the canopy. "We'll skip Ferelden because it smells like dog. But we could go to Orlais and pretend we're rich snotty nobles, or run through the fields of Ghislain!" He spun her around before dragging her down onto the soft blankets under the canopy. "Perhaps I'll take you to my homeland in the Anderfels, or take ship and brave the Amaranthine Ocean to see what's on the other side."

"We could do all this?" Arielle asked, giddy from his excitement.

"It wouldn't matter to me what we did," Anders insisted, kissing her once more before laying her down gently on her back. "I feel like when I'm with you, anything is possible."

She pulled him in closer, tangling her fingers in his hair. "It almost sounds like you love me," Arielle whispered to him as she gazed longingly into his eyes.

"Beyond hope sweetheart," Anders replied as his lips met hers with a desperate need.

Arielle placed her hands on his face as their mouths merged and tongues danced. Her soft moans ran through his body, stimulating every nerve under her touch. Within his mind came the words he had longed to hear from her for what seemed like eternity. _My heart is yours Anders. I love you._

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

"I've changed my mind," Arielle whispered to Anders when they entered the estate, the sound of the door creaking shut behind them caused her to squeeze his hand. The smell of mildew and rot permeated the air, and she nearly shrieked when her face came in contact with a cobweb. "I no longer wish to go with you on these excursions."

"I don't want to be here either," Hawke confided ahead of her as they walked down the main hallway. "I think you're right Varric; this place is definitely haunted." Hawke originally thought this would be the perfect opportunity for Arielle to come out with them, but it seemed they were all in a bit over their heads.

Varric had gone to Hawke that morning and asked her to come with him to Bartrand's old home. The new owner said strange things had happened the second he stepped foot into the place, and now he was refusing to pay any further coin until the problem was solved. When Varric looked into it the previous evening, he too noticed some very odd occurrences. So before everyone left for Amaranthine tomorrow, he wanted help to investigate. Hawke suggested Anders and Arielle join them just in case, but now she was having second thoughts about any of them being there at all.

The sound of broken glass crunched beneath their feet as they walked. Chairs seemed to move on their own, the sound of their legs scraping across the floor echoed against the walls. It was harder to ignore the books that flew off the shelves, or the rustling of paper behind closed doors. Heavy footsteps paced above them, though the house had been empty for months, and since they had entered, all four commented about how they thought they were being watched.

Varric stopped for a moment and the others followed suit. "Is that music?" he asked.

Anders strained to hear what Varric was hearing, but there was nothing beyond the scratch of a tree branch against a window. "I don't hear any music," he whispered to Varric. "But I swear someone keeps touching the back of my neck."

"I don't like this," Arielle repeated what everyone was thinking. She was starting to feel lightheaded, and there was something she felt was calling to her, searching for her. Anders pulled her in closer as they continued checking rooms, looking for anything out of the ordinary that could be causing all of this mischief.

"It almost feels like the veil is thin here," Anders commented. "But were that true, we'd be encountering demons. Whatever this is, it is no demon."

Hawke agreed. "They'd be more likely to have already attacked. Something else is going on here." Hawke spun around, surprising the other three and they froze. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Anders asked.

"That voice..." she trailed off, looking around the room. "I can barely make out the words. None of you hear it?"

Anders and Varric shook their heads. Arielle didn't respond either way. Her eyelids were nearly shut as she kept whatever pace Anders had begun again, allowing him to lead her through the maze of rooms. The pull inside her grew. "It's getting stronger," she whispered when they entered the foyer.

"What is it love?" Anders asked.

Arielle's eyes were closed, and her body began to sway. She trembled slightly beside Anders as she reached out with her abilities to find the source. They all watched her as she concentrated; her breathing suddenly increased, and a surge of adrenaline shot through her body. Her markings lit brighter than any of them had ever seen.

"It's here," she whispered as the ground began to shake beneath their feet. A large growl radiated from within the walls, and the group readied their weapons. A black mist formed in the center of the room, swirls of the smoky air hindering their vision. When it subsided, a large Ethereal Golem stood before them.

Anders instinctively pushed Arielle behind him as he cast a shield spell around Hawke. Without a warrior to taunt the powerful creature, Hawke was going to have to be its target. Varric kept his distance as Bianca attacked from afar, assisting Hawke as her daggers chipped away at its stone. The ground cracked with each thunderous step the Golem took as it chased her around the foyer.

Arielle stood behind Anders, her eyes following the Golem as it moved. The lines of red lyrium in her flesh continued to glow and radiate. Those engaged in battle took little notice when she stepped away from Anders and moved closer to the fight. Anders called out to her but she didn't hear him as she moved towards the Golem in a trance-like state. She seemed to pull all the energy in the room into herself and then released a force from her hands so powerful that it knocked the Golem into the wall, shattering it into dust.

The blast from the impact knocked all of them backwards except for Arielle. She moved closer to the pile of ash that now formed where the Golem had stood as the others coughed and choked from the particles in the air. Varric was the first to recover, wiping the soot from his face to see what she was looking at. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed. "It's a piece of the idol!"

"Arielle, no!" Anders yelled towards her, but it was too late. She had already knelt down among the rubble and grasped the small red glowing rock. In an instant her markings blinded the group and they shielded their eyes as Arielle seemed to extract whatever power was held within the stone. Her once blue eyes now blazed a dark crimson as she turned her head, chest heaving with each breath she took, and focused intently on Anders.

What stirred beneath the surface of Anders' skin that had laid dormant for weeks now shown brightly. Familiar cracks formed on his body as he felt himself slipping away into the darkness. His own eyes disappeared behind a swirl of blue light that surveyed his surroundings before falling upon Arielle.

"Anders," Hawke whispered, stepping away from the both of them.

"I don't think that's Blondie anymore Hawke," Varric muttered, moving slowly in her direction.

"Hello Justice," Arielle said through gritted teeth. She remained on her knees, hands clutched to the stone that now pulsed in unison with her markings. Her grip was so strong there was blood dripping onto the floor. It appeared as though she were crippled, but her expression was that of a cat getting ready to pounce.

**"You dare summon me here!" **Justice's voice boomed, echoing in the hollowed room.

A haunting, almost evil laugh escaped from Arielle's lips as she gathered what seemed like all of her strength just to stand. The rock fell from her hand and rolled a few inches on the floor before coming to a stop, now nothing more than a dull stone. "I know now why you are frightened of me," she said calmly.

**"You are a distraction! You have forced Anders to give into desire over the fight for freedom!"**

Arielle took a shaky step closer to Justice. "That is Anders' decision, not yours."

**"I **_**am**_** Anders!" **the spirit insisted, taking a step back as she approached him.

"No," Arielle whispered sadly. "You are a monster. You are nothing like Anders." She tried to take another step but couldn't. The feel of the Fade radiating from Justice nearly consumed her, but she couldn't falter now. "He will never be happy as long as you exist."

**"Neither will you," **Justice responded. **"Go! Anders has no need of you!"**

Arielle smiled innocently before another malevolent chuckle came from within her. "Come and make me," she taunted, standing her ground.

Justice charged at her. A swirling mist of the Fade and the power Arielle consumed from the idol caused a haze to envelope the two. Hawke and Varric immediately rushed towards them and attempted to stop them.

Arielle screamed, protesting Varric's assistance, as she reached for Justice. Hawke was already pulling Justice away from her, fearful of what Arielle may do to the body Justice was inhabiting. "Let me go!" Arielle demanded, her voice full of rage and panic.

As Hawke struggled with Justice, so did Anders. He had been pushed into the darkest part of himself, the place where Justice had been hiding all this time. But when Arielle screamed, it reached him, and provided him with the link to find his way out. He battled Justice within as Varric restrained Arielle, and simultaneously they both stopped struggling.

Arielle fell limp to the ground as the glow of her markings subsided. Varric knelt down beside her to discover she was barely breathing. "Hawke!" Varric called out as he opened one of her eyelids with his thumb and could see no color to her eyes.

Anders leaned heavily on Hawke before gathering his own strength. It took him a moment to realize what had happened, and when he scanned the room all he saw was Arielle laying motionless on the floor. "Oh Maker," he whispered coarsely. "What have I done?"

Once he spoke Hawke left his side and ran towards Arielle. She knelt beside Varric and assessed the situation as best she could. "I'm no healer, but she does not look good," Hawke commented. "Anders? I know magic won't help but maybe you can..."

When Hawke turned her head to address him, Anders was already gone.


	47. The Future

The large vessel was eerie at night; her sails flapping and rustling in the wind, the wooden mast creaking above him. He settled on a large coil of rope and looked out into the distance, trying to find the blurred line where the sky met the sea. The last time he had looked out into the ocean, only yesterday, his arms were wrapped tightly around her naked form, her skin warming his as she pressed back into him. He could still smell the salty air in her hair, taste the berries on his lips that she had devoured for the first time.

Anders tried to push those thoughts aside as he settled his elbows on his knees and held his face in his hands. Avoiding the memory of his time with Arielle was difficult with the muffled moans coming from below in the captain's cabin. Isabela wasn't the shy type when it came to her "rutting" as she called it, and from the sound that carried Zevran was giving her something to scream about. Try as he might, he couldn't block it out, and he sighed loudly in frustration.

Bare feet thumping against the deck caught his attention, and he turned just as Hawke had reached him. "Room for two on your rope chair?"

Anders managed half a smile as he moved over and made room for her to sit beside him. "Maker's breath she's loud," Hawke commented to the obvious. She ran a hand through her unusually unkempt hair. "They wake you up too?"

He shook his head as he avoided her concerned gaze. "I haven't tried to sleep," Anders admitted to her. "When I shut my eyes, all I see is what Justice did...what I almost did..."

"No one blames you for leaving," Hawke tried to assure him as she placed her hand gently on his shoulder. "If that adds to your guilt, forget it. I talked to her before we left; she understands."

He still couldn't look at her, or believe the words that she had spoken. They remained silent as the waves continued to slap into the ship, the seas echoing the turmoil Anders felt within himself. Now the guilt of leaving her the way he did compounded with the guilt he felt for taking this trip. They were meeting with Alistair and Nathaniel in Amaranthine to inform them about what they had learned about the Wardens since the Deep Roads. Both he and Hawke had agreed this was news that couldn't be sent through any messenger.

But what did it matter? What did the Wardens, or Danarius, or Orsino, or any of it matter? None of it mattered to Anders; he only cared about her, the one he had left back in Kirkwall without even apologizing. The thought of seeing her again caused his stomach to knot as tight as the rope he was sitting on. Even if she understood, even if he was forgiven, he could never be certain Justice wouldn't try to harm her again. This was twice...would she be as lucky a third time to survive?

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

In the many times she had been to the Chantry, Arielle realized that she never bothered to take in its beauty. The rows of wooden pews were empty, radiating an almost cold feeling, but the smell of burning candles oddly comforted her. The ceiling seemed to go upwards forever, much like in Danarius' home. Large windows as well reminded her of her former master; each depicting a certain scene in Thedas history. Danarius would never have windows, he was too paranoid for that, but the tapestries that covered the walls were very similar to what she saw here.

Arielle watched with curiosity as a woman knelt before a large table of candles. She lit one, folded her hands and placed them on the banister, and bowed her head. For several minutes the woman seemed to be whispering to herself, her body language clearly that of one in grief. Arielle didn't need to use her power to know that this woman was sad.

As she started to retreat, suddenly feeling like she was intruding on a private moment, she turned and nearly ran into Sebastian. Arielle looked up at him and whispered an apology, not wishing to disturb the woman praying.

Sebastian smiled and led her to one of the side rooms, shutting the door behind them for some privacy. "Hawke will murder me if she knows you're here," Sebastian stated as he sat in one of the large chairs. "I was to check on you before sundown. You should be resting," he scolded her.

Arielle rolled her eyes as she took a seat opposite him. "Does it matter where I rest?"

"I suppose not," Sebastian admitted. "Can I get you anything? Water? Tea perhaps?"

Arielle shook her head declining the offer. They heard footsteps pass outside the door and then the large doors to the Chantry open and close. "That woman," Arielle wondered, "what was she doing?"

Sebastian leaned forward a bit. "Surely you know what it is to pray. This _is_ the house of the Maker."

Arielle informed him about what she knew. "I know a little. Fenris has strong feelings about the subject, as well as Anders."

"Do you not have your own opinion?" Sebastian asked.

Arielle shrugged. "Not really, no." She looked around the room they were in; sconces on the wall held the candles for their light, a large bookshelf with several books lined the back wall, and there was a small writing desk tucked in the corner. The chairs they were sitting on had cushions of soft velvet that Arielle found her fingers mindlessly rubbing. "What can you tell me about death?"

Sebastian was obviously surprised at the question as his eyes widened and his mouth fell slightly open. "The Chantry teaches us that all those who follow Andraste's teachings will be brought to the Makers side when we die."

"And those that don't?" Arielle asked quietly.

Sebastian refrained from further revelations on the matter until he knew exactly why she was asking. "Is this about what happened yesterday? You nearly dying?"

Arielle nodded, staring at the squared pattern on the carpet instead of at Sebastian's intense gaze. "Danarius warned me," she confessed quietly. "Outside the Deep Roads, when he held me..." she trailed off and closed her eyes, attempting to focus on anything but the feeling of him inside her mind again. "He said my freedom meant little because I would not be in this world much longer." She dared to look him in the eye again. "'That which I gave you will kill you' he said, over and over again."

Sebastian tried to reassure her. "You've already proven him wrong then," he said. "Perhaps Danarius did not factor in your strength of heart." He leaned forward and took her hand in his. "Hawke believes you did die last night, for a few moments anyway, yet here you are. Trust that the Maker has a plan for you."

His touch and personal projection of his beliefs made her believe what he said. Though she knew very little about the Maker, or the Chantry, or whatever was beyond their scope of living, Arielle began to believe that there was a greater purpose for her to still be alive. She looked forward to Anders coming home so she could talk to him about it.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

If they had ever entered Kirkwall the way they were dressed now, no one would recognize any of them. Anders ditched the obvious mage robes for a simple white shirt with brown pants. Both Fenris and Zevran wore black pants with hooded cloaks; Fenris to hide his markings, and Zevran to hide his face since he had been to Amaranthine many times before. Hawke chose to wear a dark green skirt that came down below her knees and an ivory sweater. Isabela had the largest transformation; blue pants, black top that came up to her neck, and she wore her hair in a tight bun.

They kept their heads down as they walked through the somewhat quiet city; the chill of the night air surrounding them. It was imperative they make it out of the city without notice; if anything brought attention to them, the meeting would be called off. Zevran led the way, stopping only to purchase some torches for their evening travel.

The guard at the front gate watched as they approached and offered a word of caution. "Be careful on the roads tonight," he stated. "Few reports of bandits have been trickling in from travelers."

"Why thank you kind sir," Isabela replied in an accent no one had ever heard her use. "We'll be sure to heed your warning."

Hawke held her breath as they continued out of the city, resisting the urge to look over her shoulder and see if the guard was watching them. For several minutes they walked without saying a word, until they approached a small village just outside the city.

Zevran paused for a moment as he surveyed the home they were about to enter. Though they were hidden well, he could see a handful of men watching their group. He slowly brought his hands to the hood of his cloak and revealed his face, then nodded to one of the men in the shadows.

"Friends of yours?" Hawke whispered behind him.

"Not me my dear," Zevran replied. "But of one of this evenings guests." He continued on to one of the larger of the homes within the village and gently tapped on the door. Two knocks, then one, then two.

Everyone in the group tensed up as the door opened, but that tension was relieved when they were greeted with a warm smile. "I can't believe you made it!" Delilah Howe exclaimed as she pulled Zevran in for a hug. "Come in, please," she said as she released him and happily welcomed the others with a kiss on the cheek.

Delilah was the perfect hostess, collecting cloaks and shawls and packs and setting them down in the front hall. "The men are in the dining room," she informed them when she finished gathering their belongings. "I hope you're hungry; I've prepared a feast in appreciation for getting my brother back home safe and sound."

Hawke didn't bother arguing with the woman that they had little to do with Nathaniel's return. They followed her through the living room and into the dining room where a large table was setup for all of them. Nathaniel and Alistair were both there, dressed in simple attire and looking very much like every day people instead of the King and the Warden. They both stood as the group entered, offering warm greetings of handshakes and nods.

"Your Majesty," Hawke offered with a slight bow. "I appreciate the trouble you must have gone through to come here."

Alistair gestured for them to take their seats. "Please, call me Alistair," he insisted, much like the last time they had met. "And if I read your letter correctly, I am more here as a Warden than a king, yes?"

"Yes," Hawke replied. "That is correct."

"We can get to all that later, right? I don't know about you, but I'm starved." Alistair reached for one of the silver platters in front of them and lifted the lid. "Oooh, cheese!"


	48. Hope Amidst Uncertainty

The table was cleared except for a plate of desserts that Delilah had left out for them. She retreated into the children's room to read a book to them as they drifted asleep, and to give her brother and friends some privacy. Isabela and Zevran left as well, assisting the guards outside in security detail. Hawke, Fenris, and Anders remained seated with Alistair and Nathaniel, and it was time to get down to business.

"Well then," Alistair began, pouring himself a cup of tea. "I'd like to start with the situation in Kirkwall. What news do you bring?"

Hawke sighed, not even knowing where to begin. "I guess I could start with an explanation for Knight-Commander Meredith's behavior. It ties into what I wanted to speak with you about." She folded her hands and placed them on the table, ignoring the delicacies Delilah had set before them. "There is an enchantment on Meredith's sword made from red-lyrium runes." She glanced at Nathaniel to see his expression darken before continuing. "Since the sword has come into her possession, she has become more paranoid and violent towards the mages in Kirkwall."

"Even more than before?" Alistair cocked an eyebrow. "And I thought Morrigan was a bitch. Andraste's knickers, it's got to be like a powder keg ready to go off."

"You have no idea. We have documentation from a dwarf in Orzammar that confirms the red-lyrium has negative side effects on a person's mental state," Hawke continued. "The leader of our Deep Roads expedition also went mad after we discovered a red-lyrium idol; we can now confirm that Meredith purchased pieces of that idol for her sword."

Alistair guffawed, nearly choking on the cookie he'd bitten into. "What genius thought it would be a good idea to sell the insane knight-commander red-lyrium?"

"The better question is why are the Wardens after something that is clearly unstable?" Hawke asked, looking towards Nathaniel.

"Wait," Alistair interrupted. "The Wardens are looking for red-lyrium?"

"Shocking, right?" Anders said. "They don't tell me these things anymore, either."

"This is what I get for taking the crown. It's like they booted me out of the club," Alistair sighed melodramatically. "So, don't keep me waiting. Give me all the gossip." Crossing his arms, he leaned on the table, focusing on Hawke.

"When we returned to the Deep Roads, we found the Wardens searching the thaig," she advised Alistair. "The lyrium had already been removed by a magister from Tevinter named Danarius, who has since been conscripted by the Wardens under the command of Stroud and your Hero of Ferelden."

At these words, Anders shot Alistair a glance, his quick movement stilling Hawke's speech. The king's shoulders stiffened, his body gone rigid for a tense moment before he nodded, waving a hand for them to continue.

"The Wardens have begun experiments using the red-lyrium," Nathaniel took up the narrative. "Avernus and the Architect have been working together, combining their knowledge into creating what they believe to be a more powerful soldier. So far though, they have not had promising results." He hated discussing the topic in the company of civilians, but had already revealed so much that he continued. "These test subjects became weaker, not stronger. The taint," he paused to glance at Anders, "had been completely eradicated from their bodies, but at the cost of their sanity."

"And what happened to these test subjects?" Anders asked, looking uneasy. Alistair's tension had returned as well, his gaze passing from Anders to Nathaniel as he processed the information he was receiving.

"They were killed for their own well being. It is clear whatever happened to you was a success, which is why I warned you to leave as soon as possible when we exited the Deep Roads. You've raised a lot of questions, Anders."

Anders shifted uncomfortably under Alistair's gaze, knowing full well the king was searching for the taint within him that was no longer there. "I told you, I am not exactly sure why. But if the Wardens are mad enough to experiment on the living, I refuse to assist them in any way. I told Kayla that when we first met the Architect; it was a mistake to let him live. My feelings on the matter have not changed."

"We'll get back to Kayla in a moment," Alistair said not wishing to address the Hero's role in this mess just yet. "I want to know...where does this Danarius fit in? Who is he? Some random magister from Tevinter?"

"He is my former master," Fenris advised him, speaking for the first time. He pushed up the sleeves on his shirt, displaying the pale whorls carved into his skin. "My markings are made of lyrium, branded into my flesh by Danarius. They give me unusual strength and power."

"This is red-lyrium?" Alistair asked, peering at Fenris' markings in fascination. "Why haven't you gone mad, then?" His eyes flicked back to Hawke. "Or is there more you aren't telling me?"

"Fenris is perfectly sane," she assured him, sliding her fingers into the elf's before he could get too growly. "And no, it isn't red-lyrium. Just the regular stuff."

"There is another, however," Nathaniel told Alistair what Anders had refused to mention. "Infused with the red-lyrium by Danarius."

Anders slammed his hands on the table, a snarl twisting his face. "You will _not_ bring her into this!"

Hawke rested a hand on his shoulder. "Anders, if Alistair can be of any help to us, he needs to know everything. We're trying to protect Arielle by coming forward with everything we know."

"You cannot trust the Wardens, Hawke," Anders said, regardless of present company. "I trusted Kayla once, thought she would do the right thing. But it is clear she is on another path that will only lead to more death!"

"You will not speak of her that way," Nathaniel threatened, narrowing his eyes at Anders. "You are partly the reason she is the way she is! You and..." he stopped speaking abruptly when he remembered the company he was in. "My apologies, Your Majesty."

Alistair sighed. "No, you're right...much as I wish you weren't."

Hawke shifted in her seat, feeling out of place. Anders had only spoken about her once, but it was clear to Hawke then that he and the Hero of Ferelden had had a relationship. Rumors had spread that she and Alistair had been involved as well, but it had ended so he could marry Queen Anora. It was obvious both men were hurting over their past and the impact they must have had on this woman's now questionable behavior.

"We don't have a lot of time gentlemen," Hawke gently reminded them, steering the subject back on track. "There are more questions surrounding Danarius and the Wardens. Danarius has been corresponding with First Enchanter Orsino in Kirkwall. We don't know what they are planning, but after his capture Orsino received a letter from someone named Janeka telling him to continue with the plan, whatever it is, and that Danarius' release was already underway."

"I am only aware of Stroud's involvement," Nathaniel told her. "I have not heard of anyone named Janeka."

"I have my own issues with Stroud," Hawke stated. "For the First Commander of the Wardens, he has no compassion or sympathy for anyone. But I don't believe he's a part of what's happening in Kirkwall. At least we've found no evidence of his involvement. Only Danarius and this Janeka."

"Stroud's a son-of-a-bitch, but he keeps his nose clean," Alistair commented. "I don't think we need to worry about him. As for Danarius and Janeka... could we be lucky enough that she's just his interior decorator?" The others turned to him, incredulity widening their eyes. "Sorry."

"Danarius warned me that a war is coming," Hawke continued. "At first we thought it was with the Qunari, but he implied it was much bigger than that. I was told that if I wish for my companions to remain safe, I was to side with the mages when the time comes."

"What did he mean by that?" Nathaniel asked, brows furrowing.

"I'm not certain," she responded. "That is why I have come to the both of you. I can handle whatever happens in Kirkwall; I have been working with a group of mages and templars that are prepared to overthrow Meredith and find a peaceful solution for both sides. But it's clear there is something much larger happening with the Wardens and Danarius. Before his capture, Danarius met with several other magisters in Tevinter, and I'm sure it wasn't for tea and cookies."

"Someone needs to get to Kayla," Anders stated quietly, wishing it wasn't true. "She's the only one that would know what is going on and probably the only one we could trust. I'd offer, but I'm the last person she'd want to see or confide in."

Nathaniel smirked. "That much is true. But an audience with the king could not be denied, could it?" he asked, looking towards Alistair. "May be the only option, considering who she surrounds herself with these days."

Alistair's eyes widened. "Me?" He sat back, one hand raking back over his hair. "You want me to...with Kayla?" He laughed weakly, though the sound had no mirth in it. "I don't know that she'd even talk to me. You are aware that I sort of stomped all over her heart, right?"

The others were silent, staring at him expectantly. Alistair's eyes swept the four who were pinning him with demanding eyes, and he squirmed. "It'll never work. She won't want to see me, she..."

"Alistair," Nathaniel said, his voice gentle. "This isn't about you."

The king dropped his head into his hands. "No. It never is," he mumbled. His fingers laced over the back of his neck, then he sat up again, his hands slapping against his thighs as he drew a resolved breath. "D'you suppose she'd like flowers or jewelry better?"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The walk back through the city and to the ship was a quiet one. Zevran had remained behind to rejoin Alistair's service, much to Isabela's disappointment. They believed that if Alistair were to meet with Kayla, it may be better to have a friend of hers around to help ease the tension, resulting in a better outcome of information.

Hawke tried not to dwell on the fact that they were leaving with, yet again, more questions than answers when it came to the Wardens. Some of what she had heard she didn't even understand. Avernus? The Architect? Clearly there was a lot to speak with Anders about once they returned to Kirkwall. He seemed lost in his own thoughts, and Hawke didn't want to pry in front of the others.

Experiments on their own Wardens. People they had served with? Worked and lived with? The concept was so foreign to Hawke; how could anyone give an order that it was okay to do such a thing? And then to have to kill them because something went wrong; Hawke couldn't fathom what must be going through the mind of this Warden Kayla. But then she thought on Danarius, and wondered how many times he had branded someone with lyrium before it finally worked? Or was Fenris his first? There was mention in his book about test subjects, but Anders didn't bother to elaborate on it. In her mind Kayla and Danarius were a terrifying match, and fear nearly overwhelmed her at the thought of facing them both.

Anders' own mind was racing as well, and he was surprised to feel that Justice had come out of wherever he had been hiding. Together they processed the news that Anders no longer carried the taint, and that it had something to do with Arielle. This would mean he could have a longer life; no Calling to endure. It would also mean the possibility of children, though that was furthest from his mind. The world was not safe for any mage, and any child of his would be at risk for that same discrimination should it be born a mage.

But a future; that was worth thinking about. He avoided Justice's thoughts of Kayla as well as his own. It would do neither of them any good to revisit the past when there was so much to look forward to now. Arielle was his future; he was free from the Wardens, their rules, and their fate. Now his mission was clear; they had to go after Danarius. Arielle needed her freedom as well. And with Fenris being in the same situation, Anders knew Hawke would support him completely in his new quest.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

_Blood stained the floor and corpses littered the corners. In the center of the room he was secured to a table with chains. He turned his head as he struggled, and he saw her. He screamed out her name over and over again, pulling on his restraints. She called for him in response, even after the guards had continued to beat on her. "Don't leave me!" she screamed. "Father, please don't do this!"_

_There were several men in the room, each face hidden by the hood of their robes. One man would tear into his flesh with a knife, another would fit a clamp inside his wound. A third poured some liquid into his flesh. The pain was extraordinary, but the only sound that escaped his lips was her name, spoken in anguish._

_When he could no longer fight, when he finally gave in, he took one last look upon her. She screamed louder than he had ever heard, and it would echo in his mind as darkness engulfed him._

His markings flared under her touch and Fenris leapt out of small bed. He rested his hand against the interior wall of the ship and tried to catch his breath. The nightmare gripped at his insides; he had avoided it for so long and now it left him no room for escape. He closed his eyes tightly in an attempt to remove the images, yet her pained expression continued to stare back at him.

Hawke got out of bed, wrapped the sheet around her, and went to Fenris. She pressed her hand on his back to comfort him; she could feel the heat of his body, the sweat on his skin, and the shaking that he was trying to control. "Must have been some dream," she whispered as she reached for one of her shirts and began wiping down his back. "Want to talk about it?"

Fenris turned to look at her, his emerald eyes full of fear and sadness. "I have kept this from you," he said quietly, his voice full of shame. "The one memory we have yet to discuss."

Hawke waited a moment before speaking. She brought her shirt to his chest and gently removed the sweat that glistened there, her soft touch meant to calm him. With a heavy sigh she finally broke the silence between them. "Your dream. It was about receiving your markings, wasn't it."

It was a statement that required no answer, yet Fenris nodded silently. He didn't want to bring this sadness upon her.

Hawke knew it was time; she knew she had to tell him. She had avoided it up until now, but it was the only secret that remained between them. "I already know," she whispered, staring down at her feet to avoid his gaze.

Fenris grabbed her wrist to stop her movements, and lifted her chin with his other hand. He searched her eyes as if they held some explanation for her statement. "How?"

Hawke allowed the shirt to fall to the floor as he maintained his grasp on her. "I've known since before the ritual," she admitted softly. "I know what was done, and I know Vasilia was there."

His hand tightened around her but she didn't move. "I did not see her again," Fenris told her, testing to see how much Hawke knew.

Hawke nodded. "She believed you died that day," she informed him. "It was the last time she saw you as well. She remained a prisoner until she received her markings."

Fenris released her and turned his back on her to hide his emotions. "How?" he repeated the question again, needing an explanation. "How did you know what I didn't?"

Hawke moved away from him and sat down on the bed, absently rubbing her wrist where he had grabbed her. "Orana," she admitted to him, feeling a bit relieved to finally be able to talk about what had been weighing heavily on her mind for so long. "Hadriana asked her to watch over Vasilia in the cellars under Danarius' mansion. That's where she was kept."

Fenris turned to look at her. "Hadriana?"

Hawke nodded. "Hadriana instructed Orana to take care of her. During that time, Vasilia told Orana every detail of the ritual. Said she watched her lover die. Orana didn't put it all together until the night Varania assaulted Arielle." Hawke looked at her hands in her lap. "When Orana told me what she knew…Fenris I know you were desperate for your past but I couldn't be the one to tell you. Not in detail. Not with everything that happened."

Fenris walked towards the bed and caressed her cheek. "I am not angry Hawke," he said sincerely. "You just…surprised me."

Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. "Really? You're not mad?"

He sat beside her and took her hand, gently massaging the area around her wrist that he had grabbed. "No," he assured her. "It is almost a relief that you know."

"So you don't have to say it," she assumed.

Fenris nodded in confirmation. Hawke needed to know that part of him, that piece of his past that they had both been avoiding. He couldn't find it within himself to be angry at her for keeping it from him; not when he had kept it from her since regaining his memories. It was a comfort she already knew, and continued to remain at his side, for he would do the same for her.

He settled back into bed as Hawke did the same, resting her head on his chest. The worst of it was over, Hawke thought. Fenris was aware of his past and continued to face it head on instead of running. The fact that he was here, with her, and not angry with her for withholding what she did, brought a smile to her lips. They had come a long way from the day they met in the alienage. There was nothing but a future with him to look forward to. And that's all she'd ever wanted.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Hawke rubbed her eyes tiredly as she climbed the stairs leading above deck. Isabela was already there, leaning against the rails, her eyes fixed on the horizon. "Hey," she greeted, walking over to join her. Isabela didn't respond, didn't even acknowledge her presence, just continued to stare straight ahead. "Everything okay?"

"When you went to sleep, what did the sky look like?" Isabela asked, not even glancing in her direction.

Hawke shrugged as she looked out at the sea. "I didn't really pay attention," she admitted. "Lighter, I guess."

"Exactly." Isabela looked up, locking her eyes on Hawke intently. "The skies continue to darken the closer we get, but there's no hint of a storm. The seas remain calm."

"Um... it's called night time," Hawke said dryly. "Have you been drinking?"

"I should be asking you that question," Isabela answered, impatient. "It's barely past noon."

_"Noon?"_ Hawke echoed, shocked. She turned again to the sea, the looming grey clouds closer than ever. The sun was nowhere to be seen in the coming darkness. "Are you certain?"

Isabela nodded. "That's not all. In the time I've been up here I've seen at least seven ships go past us, away from Kirkwall. Some of them have been docked for years, and I know at least two are barely seaworthy." Hawke finally recognized the tone she'd been hearing in Isabela's voice since she'd gotten on deck. She sounded afraid. "Something is very wrong, Hawke."

They stood together in silence, watching as the dark swirling mass in the distance began to coalesce into the familiar shape of cliffs and less-than-welcoming bronze statues of kneeling slaves.

"Hawke."

The voice behind her made her jump, and she and Isabela both turned to see Anders and Fenris, standing together behind them.

"Those aren't clouds, Hawke," Anders said, ill-hidden panic clear in his voice.

"We know." Isabela moved aside to make room for them at the rail. "The smoke has been visible for several hours."

Hawke flinched at hearing aloud what they'd both been thinking, turning her attention back to the horizon. She felt Fenris step up behind her and automatically leaned back against him as he put his arm around her shoulder. The pattern of smoke rising in the air, the smell drifting towards them on the wind, it was all too familiar. If she closed her eyes she could almost believe she was back in the overcrowded hold on one of hundreds of ships sailing away from Ferelden. Flames danced behind her eyes, her home burning, Carver's dying scream a constant echo in her ears that never quite faded. She forced her eyes open, trying to stay in the present, only to see a flash of orange in the smoke. Even from this distance she could taste the ash in her mouth.

"Maker," Hawke whispered, reaching for Fenris' hand. "What is happening?"

A smaller vessel emerged from the darkness ahead of them, heading away from the city. It was no larger than a rowboat, and Hawke wondered how in the world its occupants were going to survive. Was the situation so dire in Kirkwall that they'd risk their lives on the sea in a ship barely better than a raft?

"Rydick!" Isabela called out, once the three men in the boat were visible. This was clearly someone she had recognized.

"Bela!" The man waved back at her, starting to stand up, but the others pulled him back down. The small craft surely would've tipped over in a wave had he stood. "'Turn 'round, 'Bela, you don't wanna be goin' back there! Damn place be cavin' in!"

Hawke took a deep breath, the smell of smoke and charcoal nearly causing her to cough. "What has happened?!" she called to them.

"Champion!" Rydick exclaimed. "Thank Andraste you're safe! An explosion from Darktown rocked the city! Viscounts Keep was destroyed and Hightown's cavin' in!"

The boats continued to move in opposite directions, so Hawke stepped away from Fenris and bolted towards the other side of the ship, continuing to shout questions as she ran. "What do you mean destroyed?! How!?"

She could just make out Rydick's shrug, the large man fading into the distance. He yelled his response, voice barely audible by the end. "Rumor is some crazy mage did it!"


	49. The Last Straw

The ground shook beneath their feet, dust and debris raining down from the rafters. Bronze incense burners rattled as they clung to their chains on the walls, and several unlit candles had fallen out of their holders. "Sebastian?" Arielle looked up at the prince, sensing his growing concern. "What is happening?"

"I am not certain," Sebastian replied. "Stay close to me though." Screams of surprise and fear as well as an echoing crash of unknown items could be heard above them from the second floor. Sebastian led her towards the stairs to see if he could be of assistance in evacuating the Chantry. "Get out of the building," Sebastian ordered the sisters as they exited their rooms and gathered in the hall. "Where's the grand cleric?"

"I am here Sebastian," Elthina said from behind him. "Hello, child," she added with a smile towards Arielle.

Arielle didn't hear her as she tightened her grip on Sebastian. An image in the window behind Elthina had caught her attention. "What is _that_?" she whispered, fear causing her voice to tremble.

Sebastian and Elthina both followed her gaze to the window facing the Keep's large tower. Flames and smoke began to combust the lower windows, glass shattering to the streets below. They watched as the top of the building crumbled; stone and wood fell inward as a massive mushroom cloud of dust and ash followed in its wake. "Maker guide their path," Elthina whispered as she watched the dancing flames reach through the now open circular roof.

"Please, we must go," Sebastian insisted as vibrations continued to rattle the Chantry. The other occupants were all running out of the double wooden doors. "Be careful to the steps!" he called to the women ahead of him.

When the three reached the exit, the scene before them was unlike anything they had ever seen. Hundreds of people were running through the streets away from Viscounts Keep and the surrounding area. The smell of burning wood permeated the air as specs of soot and ash began to fall from the sky like rain. Just as they were nearing the stairs to descend into the mass confusion below, another explosion rocked the city, and all went dark.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

They hadn't been able to tear their eyes away from the city as they finally came to the docks. Finding a safe place to bring the vessel in was a challenge with all the departing ships, and they would find unboarding was yet another difficult task. Several of Kirkwall's citizens were begging Isabela for a lift out of the city and nearly trampled the group as they walked down the wooden plank to the platforms below.

A handful of guards and templars approached the group, making their way through the crowd by force. At the head of the armored men was the templar Thrask. "Champion," he called out as Hawke and Fenris met him halfway. "You are needed at the Gallows immediately."

"Ser Thrask," Hawke responded, eyes wide. "What in Maker's name has happened here?"

"I'll explain on the way," Thrask said, motioning for his men to gather the rest of her friends.

One of the guardsmen attempted to grab Anders' arm, and he wrenched away violently. "I need to get to Darktown," he told Hawke, ignoring the templars that approached from all sides.

"There is no Darktown," Thrask said sharply overhearing the mage. "You _will _come with us," he added directly to Anders, his tone far more threatening.

"Wait." Hawke placed a hand on Anders' shoulder, attempting to calm him. "What do you mean, 'there is no Darktown'? _Maker's breath _man tell me what is happening!" she shouted above the noise of the crowd.

Her question went unanswered; templars and guards pushing them towards their vessel. Hawke recognized the boat as the usual mode of transportation from the docks to the Gallows. Isabela was behind them, yelling orders to her crew as she, too, was being escorted to the other side of the docks. Many in the crowd continued to press into them, some desperate enough to jump into the water and begin swimming away from the city. Hawke caught a glimpse of Fenris' expression; he was nervous, which made her terrified.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

The moment she heard the screams, Merrill ran outside to see what was happening. The ground had begun shaking a few minutes ago, but that was nothing new for her. Often in her travels with the Dalish the world around them would have occasional tremors and shifts, so she hadn't been concerned. But the panic below the surface of the cries was what worried her.

Several other occupants of the small alcove within the alienage were exiting their homes. She saw elves carrying bags of clothing, one with a large pile of books in her arms, another firmly gripping a struggling cat. They were all heading towards the stairs. A few who weren't trying to take all their possessions with them stopped to grab a handful of the offerings laying around the great tree in the center. Merrill didn't bother gathering anything personal of hers; she had little to begin with. The clothes she was wearing and her staff on her back, she followed the crowd up to Lowtown.

The sky overhead was clouded in gray, an unnatural smog that she knew wasn't due to the weather. Most of the guards were trying to curb the chaos, but having little luck. Half of the group in front of her headed towards the docks, the other started towards Hightown. Those running from Hightown however cautioned to its damage and some were left standing in the middle wondering what to do. Merrill did the only thing she could think of; she ducked into the Hanged Man and looked for Varric.

The dwarf was in his room, packing up a bag with as much of his hidden stash of gold as would fit. Floorboards were pulled up and tossed aside, pictures removed from the walls and cut into, and several of the plants were now scattered out of their pots. The ground shook again, more violently than before, and he grabbed onto the wall until the tremors stopped.

"Varric?" Merrill called from downstairs in the tavern.

"I'm coming, Daisy," he called, securing Bianca and walking down the stairs. He grabbed onto the rail as another shift in the surface shook the tavern, but thankfully it wasn't as severe as the first few. "Are we having fun yet?" he asked her.

"These are not natural quakes," Merrill told him. "Something very bad is happening."

"No shit, Daisy," Varric said, taking her arm and moving towards the door. "First thing we need to do is get out of here."

They opened the door and stepped out, not noticing the four templars in the massive crowd pushing through in their direction. It wasn't until they were surrounded that Varric realized this could be trouble. "We need you two to come with us," the tallest of the templars said.

"I don't suppose we have an option?" Varric asked.

"By order of Knight-Commander Meredith," the templar proclaimed.

Varric shrugged. "Lead the way," he replied. He looked over at Merrill and smiled. "Relax, Daisy. It's just a visit with crazy, what's the worst that could happen?"

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Meredith and Orsino could be heard arguing long before they reached the landing to the Gallows. Thrask and the others assisted Hawke and her party to the courtyard, where it was clear two armies were about to face off. To the left was Orsino, his mages behind him; to the right Meredith, Cullen, and the templars.

"And here's the Champion now, alongside the murderer," Orsino said to Hawke as she approached them.

Hawke couldn't help the sigh that escaped her lips. "What are you going on about now?"

"It's no secret you count the apostate Anders amongst your companions," Meredith stated.

"Your ability to state the obvious is riveting as always, thank you," Hawke said sarcastically. "Why have you brought us here? I should be out there, helping the people of this city. As should you."

"Help the city?" Meredith laughed. "You are the ones responsible for this! The very center of the explosion was the clinic in Darktown, the one your companion ran for the last decade. Kirkwall is falling in on itself and he will pay for it with his life," she said, pointing at Anders.

Hawke looked at Cullen, who stood beside the knight-commander and said nothing. "You know that's not true," she said to him, and then glanced at Orsino. "Anders has been with us, and we were nowhere near Kirkwall when this happened!"

"Is that a fact?" Meredith crossed her arms over her chest. "Tell me, Champion, exactly where were you and who is your alibi?"

Hawke felt her stomach sink. There was no way she could reveal she as in Amaranthine with Alistair; not without putting him and Nathaniel in danger with the Wardens, not to mention her, Fenris, and the rest of her friends. "I'm afraid that's something I am unable to disclose in public," she said. "A better question would be to ask the First Enchanter why he sent mercenaries to collect two ingredients that are known to be explosive when combined..."

"Do not try to turn this around on me, Champion," Orsino said with disgust. "You will regret it."

"I already do." Hawke walked closer to Orsino, Meredith and the templars watching closely. "Knowing you worked with the blood mage that tortured and killed my mother. Aligning yourself with yet another blood mage who brutally experimented on two of my friends." Her temper flared and she no longer cared who was watching. "The only thing I will regret more is if I do not slit your throat before the end of the day."

"These are strong accusations, Champion," Meredith stated. "If this is the case, then I have no choice but to have the mage quarters in the Gallows searched from top to bottom."

"You can not do that!" Orsino yelled at her. "You have no right!"

"I have every right if you are harboring and working with blood mages," she responded. "The Viscounts Keep was destroyed by a mage during the gathering of monthly court. Dozens of nobles, the seneschal, the guard captain and several soldiers... all slain by magic. This is something I can not ignore."

Hawke staggered backwards, Fenris' hand quickly there to keep her upright. "Aveline?" she whispered. "Aveline's dead?"

"The remaining blood mages must be rooted out before they infect what's left of this city," Meredith continued, ignoring Hawke's shocked question.

"You are constantly accusing my people of corruption," Orsino said to Meredith. "Yes, a mage is to blame, but they died by Anders' hands, not mine!"

"Do not trifle with me, mage," she shot back. "My patience is at an end. The Gallows will be searched, and you will comply if you have nothing to hide."

Orsino threw his arms up in the air. "The Circle didn't do this! Champion, you can not let her do this based on the actions of one mage. She will imprison innocents, find blood magic where there isn't any!"

"You would ask me to help you?" Hawke couldn't believe what she was hearing. "While you continue to point your fingers at my companion? I will fully support Meredith and the templars." Her voice nearly cracked with emotion, her thoughts on Aveline dying in the explosion. "Anyone who helped you, anyone else responsible for this... this massacre... I will find them personally and see that they are punished. You have gone too far, Orsino."

"Meredith will turn against you as well," Orsino warned Hawke. "Don't let your grief blind you to the bigger picture! She will end up executing all mages, and do not think for one second that does not include those mages that accompany you."

Hawke turned to look at Anders. He seemed distracted, looking out into the water as if searching for someone and paying no attention to the dispute. Arielle, Hawke realized. She'd been in the clinic. Another casualty? She glanced over at Fenris, who was still at her side, hand supporting her at the base of her spine. She stared at him for a long moment, basking in his strength, his unwavering loyalty, and mostly just to ground herself.

"Arielle," Anders whispered behind them. They all turned as the rest of their companions entered the courtyard, escorted by guards and templars. Sebastian, Arielle, Varric and Merrill, all appearing to be unharmed. Hawke hadn't realized until she saw them how afraid she'd been, for all of them.

"Oh look, there's Hawke!" Merrill called out, waving towards her, Fenris, Anders and Isabela. Varric whispered something to her and she put her hand down, an embarrassed flush coming to her cheeks.

Hawke laughed out loud, almost dizzy with relief. Even in the worst of situations Merrill always seemed oblivious. Today it was a welcome, comforting sight. With the addition of her friends, Hawke fed off their overwhelming support and faced Meredith, pushing thoughts of Aveline from her mind. There would be time for grief later. "There has to be a reasonable solution," she told the knight-commander.

"I am not unreasonable," Meredith stated as she moved in on Orsino. "I will entertain a surrender, nothing more. This ends here, now."

"I am not giving up," Orsino retorted angrily, stepping away from her. "I am giving in! Quentin's research was too evil, too dangerous, so I put it aside. But then Danarius came along, showed me that there is no other way. I see that now." He pulled out a dagger from underneath the folds of his robes. "You expect blood magic Meredith? Fine! I will give it to you!" He took the blade and slid it across his palm, the impact projecting his blood onto Meredith. Behind her the templars drew their blades as Orsino began to transform.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Merrill felt it before she saw it; the pull of power from another realm. The first time she'd used blood magic, the initial shock of the forces she'd been dealing with had nearly overwhelmed her. Witnessing someone else call forth such strength, far more than she had ever attempted to consume, frightened her. She turned away from Orsino as the change took place, terrified to face what could have been her own reflection. For the first time she began to wonder if the others were right; could anything that felt this evil truly be anything but?

Sebastian retrieved his bow from his back and began to aim. As Orsino's body contorted; shifting into something unrecognizable, Sebastian began to silently pray to both the Maker and Andraste. Never before had he seen something so horrible, so grotesque; the smell of rotting flesh alone made him choke on the already stale and ashen air.

Varric couldn't tear his eyes away from the swirling mist of light and blood that surrounded Orsino. His face changed first, wrinkling with rapid age to an old man near death, until his head completely split. First a tongue, then teeth dripping with some black substance protruded from Orsino's skull. Varric pushed past the guards, as they stood entranced with the tableau before them, and ran to one of the merchants tables. He climbed on top and loaded Bianca, preparing for his assault.

Isabela involuntarily put a hand to her nose as she stared, frozen for a brief moment as she fought against a strong wave of nausea. Her stomach under control, she held her breath and unsheathed her daggers, positioning herself behind the emerging monstrosity.

Fenris and Hawke had already jumped into action along with Cullen and Meredith. The creature that Orsino had become stood twice as tall and doubled in thickness as he stomped his way through the templars that had charged him. Every body that was crushed seemed to add to Orsino's strength; his new form consuming the flesh of the dead and increasing his size.

The three warriors nearly surrounded the front of the giant creature. Hawke and Isabela attacked from behind, their blades slicing through the mass of flesh. The damage seemed to repair itself whenever Orsino killed another templar, which meant constant repeat attacks that at the very least were slowing him down and consuming his energy.

Anders took advantage of the chaos and ran towards Arielle who was still standing near the stairs of the Gallows entrance. He had attempted to merge with her several times since arriving at Kirkwall but she'd remained closed off to him. When he finally reached her, her eyes seemed a bit glazed over and she was focused intently on the battle. "Are you alright love?" he asked her, holding her arms and searching for any obvious injuries. "Are you hurt?"

Arielle shook her head. For a moment she turned away from the fight and looked up at him. "You have to help them," she whispered. "He will kill them all."

He nodded, kissing her forehead. "Stay here," Anders said sternly. "There is no way for me to heal you should something happen." He immediately entered the fray; several heal spells were sent to templars that were injured, shields placed on Fenris and Cullen as they continued their relentless assaults on Orsino. He met up with Merrill who stood with the mages, all of whom were relentlessly attacking the first enchanter with everything they had. Anders called out to the mages to heal as much as possible; preventing more corpses for Orsino to absorb seemed to be the only thing that was weakening him, and with this tactic change the others seemed to be gaining the advantage.

The intense battle continued within the Gallows courtyard, mages and templars working together alongside Hawke, her companions, and the guard. Fire, ice, and arrows rained down from the sky as steel slid into flesh and bone. The tireless efforts of all brought the large creature to its knees, all aerial attacks ceasing when the thunderous collapse rocked the Gallows.

Meredith approached the beast, renewed fire in her eyes as she lifted her blade over her head. The red lyrium runes within the metal began to glow just as she brought the weapon down in a swift fluid motion, severing the head from the body.

The head seemed to have a life of its own, springing to action the moment it was freed. It used its small arms to run towards the mages, latching on to Anders leg and biting viciously. He cried out in pain as he kicked his leg to try and remove the creature. Merrill quickly intervened, bringing her staff down on top of the head and crushing the creatures skull. It relinquished its hold on Anders and released a high pitched shriek before the life faded from its eyes.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

There was no victory cheer. No celebration of defeating the beast that had been born of blood magic. Instead the Gallows grew quiet, eerily so, as all eyes focused on Meredith. She too did not grin in defeating the man she had fought with for so many years. Instead her eyes drifted towards Hawke, a malicious grin upon her face. "And here we are, Champion," she said, breaking the silence. "At long last."

Hawke stood before Meredith, Fenris and Isabela beside her. She wiped the gore from her forehead before addressing the knight-commander. "Which means what, exactly?"

"I am beginning to wonder just how large your part in all this actually was," Meredith responded, sheathing her sword. "A refugee come to our city, gathering power and influence without any accounting." The lyrium infused into her sword grew brighter as her anger rose. "How can I trust that the mighty Champion of Kirkwall is not a worse threat to this city than the Circle?"

Hawke could not believe what she was hearing. "This Circle that you call a threat just helped you and your templars take down a blood mage. Have you looked in the mirror lately? The only threat to this city now is you."

Meredith scoffed at the Champion's words. "Just the sort of misdirection I would expect from you. I assure you, the people of Kirkwall will mourn your loss." Meredith took a step closer to Hawke. "But I will tell them you died battling Orsino. A righteous cause."

Cullen stepped forward. "Knight-Commander. I thought we intended to arrest the mage Anders until this mess with Darktown was sorted out. You said nothing about murdering the Champion."

Meredith turned to glare at Cullen, the soft red glow behind her continuing to grow brighter. "You will do as I command."

"No," Cullen said, defiantly. "I have defended you when others started whispering you were mad. But this, this is too far. Do you not see what has happened here today? We have proven that mages and templars can work together. What good will killing the Champion do?" He repositioned himself so he was between Hawke and Meredith. "This is not what the Order stands for."

Her anger turned into rage, and Meredith reached for her sword. For a moment Hawke thought that this was it, now she'd have to battle Meredith as well. But before Meredith could get a grip on the hilt, an unseen force sent her flying forward, knocking over Cullen. Arielle stood behind them, her hands on the weapon; in one, smooth motion, she tore it from its sheath.

"Arielle!" Fenris shouted, running towards her. "No!"

As much as it pained her to do so, Arielle forced Fenris away as well, sending him backwards into a group of guardsmen. A crimson, circular vortex began to spin around her as she kept her hands on the sword, absorbing the lyrium into herself. Her hands cut into the blade, blood dripping down the silver metal, and she raised the sword above her head. A large stream of red light shot into the sky above, turning the darkened clouds a shade of rust before it exploded above them.

Arielle collapsed immediately, falling to the ground as the sword left her hands and skittered across the marble. The runes had disappeared, their energy and power released. Fenris pushed away from the guards and ran to her again. The once pink lines beneath her flesh were now a pale white, matching his own. Her body trembled from the impact. He knelt beside her, pulling her into his arms. Her hands were blistered and branded with an indentation from Meredith's swords; her eyes had changed color from their usual blue to a dark red.

Hawke made her way towards the two, ignoring Cullen as he tried to assist an incoherent Meredith. She knelt beside Fenris and Arielle. "Is she alright?"

Fenris shook his head as he held her unmoving body in his arms. "Get Anders."

"Fenris." Hawke placed her hand on his shoulder. "Anders can't heal her."

"He doesn't need to heal her, Hawke," Fenris said, teeth clenched. "He needs to say goodbye."

She stood immediately, the harsh reality of his words settling over her. Arielle had been close to death after touching a piece of the idol at Bartrand's. She knew Fenris wasn't mistaken; absorbing what she had from Meredith's weapon was surely killing her. Hawke ran towards where she'd last seen Anders, his own injuries being attended to by the other mages.

Arielle slowly opened her eyes and looked at Fenris. The power within her was overwhelming, surging through her like a caged animal demanding release. She struggled to keep it suppressed for the time being; it would serve a purpose, but first she had to gather her physical strength. "Where is Anders?" she asked.

"Hawke went to retrieve him," Fenris answered her. "Why, Arielle? Why would you do this?"

"I felt her anger," she told him, easily feeling his sorrow and horror. "She was going to kill all of you. I couldn't let that happen."

"Foolish," he said, voice choked with emotion. "Arielle..."

She reached up and pressed a finger to his lips. "Vasilia," she whispered. "When I touched the sword, I felt her. I _was_ her. It was only for a moment, but... the only thought I had was of you." She closed her eyes briefly, fighting the combination of his emotions and her own. "Help me, Leto. Don't let them see me as weak."

He helped her to stand, her body trembling in his arms. He looked at the crowd gathering around them. "Sebastian," Fenris called out to his friend. "Help Hawke get Anders here, and get these people away from her."

Sebastian nodded, recruiting Varric and Isabela to move the group of curious mages, templars and guards who were all intently watching Fenris and Arielle, as well as Cullen and Meredith. Fenris turned back to Arielle. Vasilia. His lioness. "We just found each other again," he whispered. "It is too soon for you to die."

Arielle smiled weakly at him. Leto. Her wolf. "My first love. I am so sorry. Thank you, for saving me." She looked over Fenris' shoulder and saw Hawke approaching with Anders. "I know you and Anders have your differences, but please look after him. He will need support." Her eyes met his once more. "Promise me?"

Fenris could not deny her anything, not now as she grew colder within his arms. "I... promise."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

Fenris eased her gently into Anders' outstretched arms. As the mage pushed the silken strands of her dark hair off her face, she looked up at him, lips curling into a soft smile when she found herself in his embrace. "Hey," she said quietly, her voice a cracked whisper.

"Hey yourself," he murmured, oblivious to Fenris' departure or the mages and templars surrounding them in the distance. "I'm fairly certain I told you to stay put."

Arielle's shoulders shook with a weak attempt to laugh. Her breath caught, the wheezed sound lodging in her tight throat. "We both know I'm stubborn," she reminded him as the pain passed.

He hated to see her suffer, hated it even more that he was unable to heal her. "What can I do?" Anders asked.

"Help me sit," she instructed him as she struggled to remain standing. He offered his strength, guiding her until she sat facing him, fingers steadying her as she sat on the ground. "The lyrium is strong, I don't have long," she warned him. "But there's something I must do."

Her hands turned over in his, and he dragged his thumb across her palm as he sat facing her, mindful of the blisters and branding burned into her flesh. There was so little he could do for her at this point; in drawing all the energy out of the knight-commander's blade and into herself, the lyrium alone would kill her within minutes. Whatever she needed, however he could help, he was hers.

The moment Arielle closed her eyes, he felt cut adrift, until he felt her touch his mind, joining with him one last time. His chest constricted with such a thought, his fingers tightening against her hands as if he refused to let her go. He couldn't imagine spending a moment without her at his side.

_You have shown me what freedom is, _Arielle's voice rose through their connection. _You taught me how to live again, and I want to return that gift to you._

Her sorrow weighed on his heart, knowing that she was leaving him behind, and her loss felt as overwhelming as his own. _You've already given more; much more than I deserve_, he replied, his grip straining.

_I can give you even more, _her voice whispered through his head.

A familiar stirring began within him, the one he always felt when Justice was soon to surface, and Anders fought valiantly to keep the spirit at bay. The thought of losing his final moments with Arielle was more than he could bear, and a pained grunt fell from his lips, straining under the effort. He resisted; but the more he did, the more he realized it was not Justice attempting to break through. It was Arielle, fighting from within him.

To the others, it appeared as though the two simply sat cross-legged opposite one another, locked silently in a trance. Everything was happening deep within; they couldn't see Arielle harnessing the power she had absorbed through the sword and releasing it to grab control of Justice. An internal war waged between the two, and Anders was unable to intervene in any way. Invisible fingers took hold of him, _pulling _with such strength that his back abruptly arched and his chest bowed forward beneath the struggle. The threads that held them together were torn asunder; the spirit's entity suddenly wrenched out of him with Arielle's brutal exertion of power.

Arielle forcibly broke the connection the moment she felt Justice attempt to return to Anders. She couldn't allow that; this..._this_...was to be her final gift to him. It was all she had left, the only thing she had left to give him, and she wouldn't allow Justice to ruin that. She could feel him within, wriggling around like a worm, settling deep into her consciousness; a foreign entity, and odd to feel. The only advantage was that she knew it wouldn't be for long. Darkness was already creeping in on the edges, the world growing hazed and dim. The only thing that remained clear was the mage before her, face pale as he panted for air. Somehow she knew Justice was also looking at him, the spirit's startled reaction at being able to lay eyes on his friend once again.

So long it had been since Anders last saw Justice peering out of another's eyes. That they belonged to Arielle nearly destroyed him. The void within felt suffocating as he realized she had trapped Justice within to die with her... was this her final gift to him? Not only had she removed the taint, fixed something he'd been told was irreversible, but now she'd taken Justice as well, the one true friend he would have left in this world.

His fingers twined tightly with hers as he shuffled closer. "What have you done?" he whispered.

Her lips moved but it was not her voice that came out. **"She has split us, taken me into her."**

What could he say, what could he _do_? His friend, Justice, Vengeance, whatever he called himself was gone. And though he'd traveled with the spirit for over a decade, he wasn't the one Anders wanted to speak with. He'd feared losing these final moments to him, and it was happening.

"What will happen to you?" Anders asked, growing antsy with each wasted second.

"**I do not know. Perhaps return to the fade, pass on myself, it is unclear."**

They clasped hands gently, Arielle's pained gasp reminding them that it wasn't only the two of them.

"Justice..." Anders mumbled, unsure of what to say.

"**Do not fear for me, and do not waste these moments. Perhaps we will meet again in life."**

Anders doubted that, but instead of speaking, he slid his hand around the soft column of Arielle's neck and drew her head forward until he could rest his brow on hers. Justice's eyes peered back, the voided blue shining brightly. "Goodbye, my friend," he whispered.

"Anders," Arielle gasped.

Maker, but her voice was so weak, he could hardly hear it above the roaring fires in the backdrop and the rising voices. His fingers tensed and slid through her hair, his eyes fluttering closed as he drew her scent deep into his lungs. He wasn't ready for this; he would _never_ be ready for this.

Her fingers trembled against his cheek, and she released a soft breath, afraid to close her eyes, afraid to miss a single moment. She could remember every second spent in this dreadful city, every moment spent in his arms. But was it enough?

His lashes fluttered and suddenly she was gazing up into him, his warm amber eyes calming her staccato heartbeat. Had Isabela not taken her, had Hawke and her companions not risked everything to bring her to Kirkwall, she never would have met him. What she had before this, that was no life. Being with Anders, if only for a moment, was enough. She would take with her every bit of it, even the bad parts.

Sebastian had said that death leads to the Maker's side, and if that was true, then she knew she would be spending the rest of her existence with Anders; nothing could change that. Their separation might feel like an eternity, but one day they would be together again.

Yes; it was enough.

"Arielle," his whispered, his voice drifting by on the hazed stench of smoke.

The lyrium burned within, scouring out her insides, but one look from him quieted the pain. She sagged against him, her head lolling against his arm as he slowly lowered her down onto her back. Such panic sketched into his face, such fear. It took a momentous amount of energy, but she lifted her hand and ran her thumb against his lower lip.

"All I am," she forced out. "All that is me, is because of you. You gave me life, a purpose... to live."

For the first time she could recall, his eyes swam with tears, though they did not fall. Soft fingers touched upon her face, brushing away the stray damp hairs.

Her strength waned and her hand fell away from his face, slipping down onto the rubbled path, dust billowing around her. Anders dropped forward and claimed her lips in a soft kiss, the tips of his fingers grazing her cheek. His anguish beat upon him, and he knew if he spoke, the sound of his heart breaking would pour forth. He couldn't do this... he couldn't just lose her, not after all he'd gone through in his life to find her.

"Love you," she whispered against his mouth, her eyes closing to the world around her.

Anders' chest hitched, his fingers curling inward one by one into a tight fist. "And I you," he bit out, his head dropping forward until it rested against her still chest. Sobs built in his throat, but he wouldn't, he _couldn't_, not here. What he felt didn't matter. Arielle was gone. He would never feel again.


	50. Epilogue

Hawke closed her eyes, and in her exhaustion leaned back as Fenris paced the small room. They'd taken up residence at Gamlens shack after discovering that both the estate and the mansion were all but destroyed. Thankfully Bodahn, Sandal, and Orana had safely left Kirkwall; all three were heading to Orlais to begin a new life. Hawke had spent the day helping them prepare for their journey using some of the not-insignificant amount of money left in her vaults to purchase their supplies. She'd wanted to replace what they'd lost and help them reach their destination with minimal danger. Hawke had watched them depart with a pang of longing; part of her had wanted to grab Fenris and hop on the ship with them, sailing far away from this wretched city. Would they never escape the insanity that seemed to haunt them? As she continued to hear Fenris pace however, she knew there would be a very different future in store for them.

"I'm not sure these old floorboards can take much more of your stomping," Hawke pointed out teasingly. They would embark on their own journey tomorrow; leave Kirkwall to find Danarius. A mission they had taken on once before.

The mission that had led to Arielle.

Fenris abruptly stopped pacing and placed his hands on the small desk in the corner. He wanted to leave, wanted to finally be on the road and finish what they had started, but there was a knot of apprehension in his stomach. Seeing Danarius again was one thing; telling Danarius his other daughter was dead? Quite another. Did he deserve to know? Would he even care? What would happen this time, and would they repeat their mistakes a second time? "Hawke," he called to her, wanting her, needing her to reassure him. "Did we do the right thing?"

Hawke opened her eyes, leaned forward and shot a curious glance at his back. "Which _thing_ are you referring to?"

Fenris turned to face her, but kept his distance. "If we hadn't taken her..." he couldn't finish the sentence. Though it had been over a month since her passing, whenever he tried to talk about Arielle his voice would fail him as the lump in his throat grew.

Hawke got off the bed and walked towards him, taking both of his hands in hers. "Don't go there, Fenris," she told him. "First, we had no choice. Danarius used blood magic to lead Isabela to Arielle, remember? Second, if we had somehow resisted, she would've been condemned to the same life you once endured. Or worse, been stolen by the Wardens from Danarius and used for their twisted experiments." She leaned forward, and gently pressed her forehead to his. "We saved her. She lived and she _loved_," Hawke whispered. "Take comfort in that."

Fenris remained silent, frozen by her words. How does one take comfort in the death of someone who was not an enemy? Although his sister had told him his parents were dead, and he had a vague recollection of living through his father's passing, Fenris had never truly experienced losing someone close to him. He'd watched Hawke endure the grief of losing Bethany, Leandra, and recently both Aveline and Arielle. The death of Hawke's family had nearly broken her, but she had found a new strength within herself. The thought of Arielle dead on the cold stone of the Gallows…was he supposed to fall apart? Be stronger? Forget the past that he had fought for years to remember? "I can't, Hawke," he finally said, choking on the words. "I can't."

Hawke gently kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes and breathed in her scent as she wrapped her arms around him. Her lips lingered for a long moment before she pulled away. He opened his eyes and looked into hers, searching for an answer to his inner turmoil.

"For years before her own ritual she hated herself for not being able to save you," Hawke reminded him. "In providing Arielle's freedom, we also allowed her the opportunity to do things differently. She found love again, and she was able to free him from the chains that bound him." She took his hand and walked over to the bed, settling down with him beside her. "Sebastian would probably say something about the Maker correcting some cosmic wrong, I don't know."

"I can not help but feel responsible," Fenris admitted, interlacing his fingers with hers.

Hawke sighed as she gently rubbed his knuckles. "Do you remember what you told me after my mother died? When I said the very same?"

Fenris thought for a moment. "That if you were seeking forgiveness, I was not the one to give it to you."

"I could say the same to you," Hawke told him. "But now I understand it wasn't forgiveness I was looking for. It was answers, to all of those 'what if' questions we ask ourselves in times like these. You can't focus on what could've happened, or how things should've or would've been." She turned to look at him, fierce determination in her eyes to make him understand. "The question I _can_ answer is who is truly responsible. No matter how you look at this Fenris, from every angle, every perspective, every 'what if' in the book, it all leads to one man."

Fenris' grip on her hand tightened slightly. "Danarius."

Hawke nodded. "If comfort doesn't work for you, then focus on revenge. Perhaps that is where you will find your strength."

Fenris disagreed. "My strength comes from you Hawke," he told her, his eyes matching the determination in hers. "In revenge I will find closure."

She smiled as he brushed the hair away from her face. "For you and for Arielle," Hawke promised him. "It will be done."

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

He didn't care much about the gray stoned walls that surrounded him. The tattered blanket remained on the mattress in the corner untouched, even though there was a chill in the air. A small white mouse was nibbling on his dinner tray consuming more than he had. His robes were still dirty from the battle, declining several offers for new ones. The long beard on his face no longer itched from growth and his hair had taken on a life of its own. One could mistake him for a homeless drunkard, if he weren't locked in the Gallows dungeon.

Thirty-three days he'd spent in this room. Thirty-three days of solitude. Thirty-three days to be alone with his thoughts, his emotions, his pain, his grief. Thirty-three days without her.

Anders slept as much as he could. He had hoped, begun praying to the Maker he had cast aside so long ago, that he would find her within his dreams. Too much left unsaid, too soon was she ripped from his life. And though she thought it was a gift she was giving him, this freedom from Justice, it was just as much a curse. Had Justice remained, he wouldn't have let Anders fall into this void of nothing. There would be a cause, a purpose, a meaning to it all. Someone else to take over for a little while and help him focus. Thirty-three days without him.

Hawke had been the first to come. Assured him she was working with Cullen on his release. He didn't remember much from that visit. Something about her funeral, what they had planned to do with her body. The island she had said. Arielle would lie on a pyre on their island and her body torched and burned. Why was he such a coward? He should've married her that day. Run away with her and never looked back. Would Justice have allowed that?

Sebastian came by next, though by this time the days were starting to blend together. She's in a better place he had said. No longer in pain, free from Danarius and the past he had bestowed upon her. Anders didn't bother to look at the prince as he spoke. What did he know? He was in love with something he couldn't see, couldn't touch. It's not like the Maker or Andraste were going to die and he'd have to mourn them.

The Maker sent Isabela, surely. The bottle of whiskey she had smuggled in, Maker knows where she hid it, was exactly what he needed by that point. Anders didn't bother to share as he drank the entire bottle, little food in his stomach to tolerate such a quantity. It wasn't until he started talking to an imaginary Arielle that Isabela snuck out, leaving him to have his private discussion with her ghost. He curled up on the floor beside her as she stroked his hair and assured him everything would be all right; they'd see each other again.

Varric dropped in every other day, even after Anders continued to ignore him. Prattling on about this rumor or that trade deal, shuffling cards and dealing Anders into a game he wasn't playing. At some point Varric had even told him the true story behind Bianca's name. Anders didn't hear any of it; or if he did, it wasn't acknowledged.

Fenris visited daily, and it was always the same; he would settle down on the ground in front of the cell, back towards Anders, leaning against the bars without a word. Both men grieving for the same woman in their own way, their own time, but coming together daily. Fenris had no words of comfort for the mage, for he knew there were no words that would comfort him. But he had a promise to keep; he would do so whether Anders would allow it or not. The only time they spoke was on day fifteen, when Anders asked Fenris if he lit the pyre for Arielle. "I did," was Fenris' response. "I'm glad it was you," Anders replied.

Merrill went back to her clan; at least that's what Hawke had said. She begged the Keeper for forgiveness, swore off blood magic forever after witnessing what Orsino had done. Welcomed with open arms by the Keeper, and in seeing that some of the clan started to forgive her too. The past was no longer important to her. Having a future, and being with those she had grown up with and loved, that's what she wanted now. The outcast gets the best ending, how fitting Anders thought.

Hawke and Varric told him that there was a memorial service for Aveline. The guards that weren't killed in the explosion had attended, as well as the templars and Hawke's companions. Even Merrill made it before she left, though the two never got along. She was finally reunited with her husband Hawke had said. Was that a comforting thought to her he wondered? Out of all her companions, Hawke knew Aveline the longest, but seemed indifferent when speaking about her. Perhaps her grief was still buried deep at losing another she considered family. Aveline was the last from Lothering to come to Kirkwall with Hawke. The last reminder of home.

The mouse tucked himself under Anders robe; this was his usual resting place after a full meal and Anders never bothered to discourage it. He had been staring at the same spot on the wall for the last few hours, tears long dry days ago that led to a calming numbness within. He didn't even bother to turn when Cullen approached the cell and opened the door, Hawke behind him. "I apologize for the delay in your release," Cullen was saying. "You are free to go."

It wasn't until Hawke knelt in front of him, obstructing his view of the spot he was enthralled with, that Anders blinked his eyes and realized she was there. "Anders?" she said his name softly, much like Arielle used to when he got that far away look in his eye. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

She stood and extended her hand to him. He glanced at Cullen who was holding the cell door open, and then back at Hawke. Clearing his throat, unsure if his voice would work after all this time, he questioned the two of them. "Why?" It was a whisper, but it was there.

"Alistair came through," Hawke informed him. "Cullen has agreed to keep his name out of the official reports, stating simply that your alibi checked out." She offered him both of her hands now. "You are free Anders."

Free. What did that even mean? Varric said he was free: free of the taint, free of Justice. Now he's free again…to do what? He was a man with no purpose. No taint to lead him for the Wardens. No spirit to guide him through the plight of mages. No love to keep his heart beating. Free to die? It was all he felt he wanted to do these days.

He took her hands and she helped him stand. A squeak at his feet reminded him of his only companion, and Hawke bent down to scoop up the mouse. "Friend of yours?"

He shrugged as she offered him the mouse. Anders placed the critter in his pocket. No reason he couldn't be free as well. Anders followed Hawke out of the dungeon and up the stairs to the courtyard. He covered his eyes when the bright light of the sun hit his face. Hawke waited patiently while he adjusted to the new surroundings, eventually lowering his arm and blinking until he could see.

Hawke kept her hand on his back as they walked through the courtyard. He knew it was there to comfort him as they approached the spot where Arielle had died. The mouse wiggled its way out of his pocket and ran down his leg, running in a circle around the courtyard before taking off into a hole in the wall. Hawke laughed at the creature. "Guess he just wanted out of the dungeons too."

Anders didn't answer and didn't linger; he walked towards the boat landing without looking back. He knew if he did so, he might never recover. "Hawke," he began, unsure of what was going to happen next.

She knew what was on his mind, and she answered his unspoken questions. "Do you have any plans for the next, say, several months?"

He raised an eyebrow at her question. He had plans, thirty-four days ago. Now he didn't even have a home to return to. The clinic was never his home, but it was his, destroyed along with all of Darktown from what little of Varric's ramblings he had heard. Hawke no longer had a home either he remembered. Why was he just realizing this now? What had she been doing? "No," Anders answered her question. "I don't."

"You do now," Hawke said as she winked at him. "Isabela's all ready to go, and the others are waiting for us at the docks. We thought we'd pay Danarius and the Wardens a little visit," she explained. "I don't know about you, but I need some answers."

Anders considered his options, all one of them. "We are leaving now?" he asked.

Hawke nodded, stepping into the small craft at the landing. Anders followed, settling in beside her as they got underway. "I don't see much point in waiting," Hawke told him. "Unless there's something you need to do before we leave?"

Anders looked out across the water at the island he and Arielle spent their last night together. It was now also where her ashes were, scattered along the beach from the wind no doubt. "No," he replied softly. "There's nothing left for me here."

Hawke placed her hand on his knee. "Do you remember what you told me when Bethany died?" Hawke asked him.

Anders felt his anger build within him. Bethany's death could've been prevented if it weren't for the Wardens. If Justice were still with him, he'd no doubt be making an appearance right about now. His jaw tightened, and his teeth were clenched when he replied. "I said revenge was not the answer," he told her, though he never did believe that.

"I can't say the same," Hawke told him. "I want Stroud for refusing to help my sister. I want Danarius for what he did to Fenris and Arielle. I want Janeka for her assistance to Orsino, and while we're at it I'll take on every other Warden who gets in my way." She looked at Anders and grinned. "Are you in?"

Anders didn't answer. He didn't have to. For the first time in thirty-three days he smiled, and that was all the confirmation Hawke needed.

**~*~ ._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._. ~*~**

It was a homecoming for one, while the other was just discovering the wonders of this new place. There was no wind, no night or day, no weather or nature to speak of. Yet there was a ground to walk on and a sky to look upon, though everything seemed a bit faded or distorted. Instead of a sun or moon to stare up at there was only an ominous black city, unreachable in the distance. It took some getting used to; the way things moved, how to manipulate surroundings, the concept of not sleeping or even being tired. Anything was possible, yet everything was limited. One didn't need to learn it all in a day; there was more than a lifetime to study.

They sat together watching now, as they often did, the scene that played out before them. Discovering this was possible was the highlight so far, something that could occupy most of their time in a timeless void.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" she had asked.

"We can only wait and see," he replied.

And so they continued to do so, from beyond the Veil in the Fade. They were even with their own war as far as each other were concerned; she had brought him back and he had trapped her within. They now remained together, protecting each other from the unknown, as they helplessly watched over the one person they both loved in the mortal realm below.

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><p><strong> ~`~._.*The End*._.~`~<strong>

**3/27/2012 - 10/27/2012**

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><p><strong>Final Authors Note:<strong> I'll be thanking alot of people (and sometimes more than once!), so if you're heard enough from me, skip down and leave a final review (pretty please!). If I screw up any names or Maker forbid miss someone please let me know and I will fix it asap - there's a lot of ya ;)

**Creative thanks **to those that have influenced or written scenes for this story (in alphabetical order): AndAgain, Csorciere, EkoCentric, Erana, Eve Hawke, Jaden Anderson, Liso66, Marina Boccuzzi, MorbidxxPassion, NoMadKa, Wintryone.

**Support thanks **to those that have reviewed (in alphabetical order): 15stitches, Acid lynx rain, Amina Noir, AndAgain, Ankhaa, Brijane, Chankeybee, Csorciere, EkoCentric, Ellethe, Erana, Etaine M, Eve Hawke, Eyelash of the Twilight, GlysMari, Gogogeisha, Greenleaf1075, Jaden Anderson, KohanaHitachiin, KS45, LifeandFire25, Liso66, LoVeAmOnGhAtE, Lucien Grey, Lvinlrn714, Marina Boccuzzi, Monkey D. Lyna, MorbidxxPassion, NoMadKa, Nihlus Oken, Of Quirky Excellence, Ohsynapse, Olivegbg, Orlanna, Pint-sized She-Bear, ScarletSecrets1234, Silverrun, Skogsdraken, Wintryone, Wishfulhamadryad, and all random guest reviewers (even the bad ones!).

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**Alert thanks **to those that have this story on their alerts (chronologically from first to last): Of Quirky Excellence, ShadowerQ, ohsynapse, Phalanx213, Kathryn Taylor, Jaden Anderson, Eyelash of the Twilight, Monkey D. Lyna, ScarletSecrets1234, AIK2, importchic, Loecy, A-Dream's-Nightmare, Ghale, Jem Jemz, shom, MyAshestoAshes, manderlinaa, Vixen's Shadow, LadyAliera, jrules, brookeellen4, gogogeisha, ranara, xXsereiXx, AndAgain, Gu Jihwa, Eve Hawke, acid lynx rain, Erana, csorciere, karu0792, lvinlrn714, Marina Boccuzzi, NobodysAngel38, lilachsh, AgentOfCookies, Chankeybee, zsinjapropos, bejahunter, zeengy, Camillia Vincent, EkoCentric, Ryoko Metallium, Wishfulhamadryad, Laurelin Vanyar, RoseyChickadee, maddening, Arriad, BabyInf3rno, GlysMari, Eviza, brijane, Kimbabalu, NoMadKa, CynderJenn, Amina Noir, Ankhaa, KS45, LoVeAmOnGhAtE, Etaine M, Pint-sized She-Bear, wintryone, Murdelizer, Lucien Grey.

**Other thanks **to everyone else, anyone I have missed, and all those that may find this story after today. Thank you, sincerely, for everything...Sequel anyone?

_**Review! It's over! Last chance! I beg you!**_


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